Tw: mentions of suicide 

 

The carriage had stopped close to a small river, in a forest clearing far away from the city. The untainted fresh air and quiet susurrations of the crystal-clear water were blissful to the senses. On the field nearby, the coachman tended to his horses quietly and diligently. 

 

“A-are you sure youʼre absolutely fine?” Rya asked, following behind as Shun approached the river.

 

“Positive. Your healing magic is of the highest tier, Rya.” He turned his head around and gave her a reassuring smile. Well, not like I can tell her I traded my smartphone for my life… 

 

He stopped by the river bank and sat down on the soft grass, soaking in the sunshine and serenity. 

 

“E-eh…but still…?” She carefully spread out the skirt of her dress and sat down beside him. 

 

Tiny ripples of water lapped at the edge where their feet nearly touched. 

 

“Um, so…what happened after I die—fainted?” 

 

“I donʼt know, our surroundings suddenly changed and we found ourselves in this clearing.” She giggled. “Mr. Coachman called it a miraculous blessing from the Goddess.” 

 

Pfft. Yup, this worldʼs magic system is absolutely f*cked up. I wonder how anyone even uses magic here if the Goddess seems to be winging it herself. 

  

“Hey, Rya—”

 

She suddenly stood up, slipped off her heels, and began wading in the shallows. 

 

“Ooh, it’s cold!” With a mischievous grin, she kicked at the water, splattering a shower of drops into the air and right onto him. 

 

“Take your shoes off and come in too, Shun. Quit sitting there like a sad grape!”

 

Shun wiped the beads of water off his face and frowned. Sad grape?

 

He opened his mouth and was about to retort back, but stopped suddenly when he looked at her.

 

It was obvious that Rya was beautiful. He had already noticed that undeniable fact when he first stepped into the hall. 

 

But now, the word “beautiful” seemingly paled in comparison to the dazzling sight before him. Her white square-neck dress perfectly complemented her youthful complexion, showing her innocence and yet also her maturity. Her long, flowing hair the texture of fine silk was nothing short of alluring. Her bright hazel eyes invited him to drown in their surreal depths. 

 

And beyond her prepossessing looks, Shun was even more enthralled by her crystal-clear beauty on the inside.

 

Despite her dire circumstances, Rya still held onto her sangfroid and liveliness. None of the hardships and injustices she must have suffered all this while had come close to tainting her soul. The optimism and confidence that she exuded made him realize just how gorgeous her true self really was. 

 

If I was in her shoes, would I be able to do the same thing as Rya? Would I still be able to smile? Would I still be able to live, knowing that the world has forsaken me?

 

The answer in his pained heart was a resolute “no”. 

 

Shun averted his eyes briefly and swallowed his nervousness. Rya, you’re amazing. So amazing that I can’t help but to be attracted to you. 

 

He took off his boots and slowly waded into the river towards her. “Yes, yes, I’ll stop being a sad grape, whatever that means—”

 

She suddenly took hold of his hand and tugged at it, causing him to slip on the pebbled riverbed and fall onto her chest. 

 

“W-wha…” His shocked voice trailed off when she wrapped her arms around him and embraced him tightly. Her gentle warmth made him completely forget about the cold water running over his feet. 

 

“...this is payback for stealing my first kiss and making me worry for nothing,” she whispered.

 

Her sweet voice made his heart race. “You know, that was also my first kiss,” he argued jokingly, still somewhat unsure about her true intention. 

 

She must have noticed his hesitation—because her sangria lips curled upwards into an innocent, yet slightly wicked smile. “I don’t mind if it’s with you, Shun.”

 

“Rya, you—” 

 

She slid her arms up to his neck and pressed her body closer to his. Her deep hazel eyes mirrored his own feelings, his own longings. 

 

Shun closed his eyes and leaned forward, brushing their lips together. The fleeting touch was electrifying; he felt a shiver course through his body as his lips settled over hers. Without holding back, he sealed their lips and kissed her. 

 

Rya let out a soft moan and ran her delicate fingers through his thick hair, gripping it to pull him closer to her. 

 

He obliged, kissing her harder and tracing her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue before giving it a light nibble. She gasped, opening her mouth ever so slightly, and he entered her mouth and deepened their kiss. 

 

She took a step back in surprise, but still firmly held him close to her as she hummed and sucked on his tongue. A deeper moan escaped from her mouth as her tongue mated with his in a slow, sensual dance. Time seemed to stop in that eternity shared only with him. 

 

 

Shun finally pulled back and stared down into her blushing face. “...are you sure that you never kissed anyone else before?” 

 

Rya laughed as she tried to catch her breath. “I…I could ask the same question back to you.”

 

A small grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “Sorry, I just can’t resist it when I’m with you. I spent...too many years waiting, just waiting for this exact moment to happen.” 

 

“Is that so?” She interlaced her fingers into his and leaned towards him, resting her head gently against his chest. “You know, I’ve always dreamed of this very moment as well.”

 

The quiet, calming murmur of flowing water seemingly matched their heartbeats. He placed his hand on her head and gently stroked her silky-soft hair. “You too?”

 

Her hazel eyes looked up and searched his. “Shun…do you mind if I tell you a story?”

 

“Hmm…?” He brushed her locks of flax-colored hair to the side. “You can tell me anything, Rya. I don’t mind.”

 

She let out a chuckle before giving him a sad smile. “Well...it’s not a romantic story, but I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest for a very long time.”

 

“Shun, do you know? The country which I come from, the Elysian Empire…it was actually the brainchild of my parents. Although my family possessed the silver necklace...in reality, our territory was poor and unsuited for agriculture, hence we were always at the mercy of other nations which we imported food from.” She wrinkled her brow slightly. “...so in order to gain power, my parents signed a treaty with what’s known as the Principality of Elysium today—establishing the Empire as a dual monarchy. And a clause in that treaty meant that I was to be betrothed to the future Crown Prince of the Empire.”

 

She paused and bit her lip. “I was just five then, so I didn’t know its implication until much later. It…took me a long time to come to terms with their decision and accept my fate. But, my partner tragically loved a mistress instead.” 

 

“He never showed up for the coronation. When we finally found him, he was already dead, his hands holding hers forever.”

 

Rya squeezed her eyes shut as the memory resurfaced in her mind.

 

“They concluded it was a murder-suicide pact between the two of them.” She opened her eyes slowly and blinked. “Their deaths caused an uproar in the Empire, so in order to reassure the people, my father made an appearance at the capital city. He was travelling in an open carriage when a Pacifist separatist came forward and assassinated him in broad daylight.”

 

Shun widened his eyes. “Your father…he was killed…?”

 

“Mm.” She blinked back her tears, sighing. “An Empire which my parents sacrificed even their own daughter to build…it all fell into the hands of the Pacifists within one month.”

 

She shook her head and gave a wry smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like a reach for sympathy…”

 

“N-no, how can you say that?” he stated, hugging her quietly. “You have been through so much, yet you are still standing here. You’re so strong inside, don’t you know that?”

 

Rya didn’t say anything for a long moment. 

 

“Strong…you say?” She smiled bitterly. “I only lived for the sake of my parents and the Empire. Then, I lost everything—everything that gave my life purpose. I had the same thought every morning when I woke up on the floor of my cell: I want to die. But, I was too scared to end it all.”

 

“Then, one night after being exiled, I chanced upon a lake. It was large, so large and vast that its surface seemed to reflect the entirety of the beautiful starry sky.”

 

---

 

I want to submerge myself within the stars and forget about this world. 

 

Rya extinguished her lantern and kicked off her shoes. She ripped her dress and used the shredded fabric to tie two heavy rocks to her feet. The warmth of the water welcomed her as she submerged her cold bare feet into the lake.

 

The murmur of the water is inviting me to go further, to go deeper into the stars and the abyss.

 

Water entered her mouth, then her nose. Her mind became hazy. The stars seemingly morphed into one single bright light. The warmth of the murky water enveloped her, plunging her into pitch-black darkness. 

 

But before she could surrender herself to death, a strong hand grabbed onto her back and pulled her away. 

 

“...someone…she’s…bring…”

 

When Rya finally regained consciousness and opened her eyes, she found herself inside a large bedroom.    

 

“I’m glad that you were saved in time, First Princess Tryamon.” King Arcadia’s worried-stricken face entered her blurry vision. “Rest assured, you’re far from the chaos of the Elysian Empire. You’re welcome to stay in the Kingdom of Arcadia for as long as you like.” 

 

She closed her eyes and turned away. “...I’m not suited to be a First Princess, please...just let me die…”

 

“Don’t say that.” His large, warm hand which reminded her of her father held onto her trembling hand. “Your father wouldn’t want to hear his own daughter speak in that way.” 

 

“H-how…will you know?”  she asked bitterly. “You aren’t my father.” 

 

“Then, I’ll become one.” King Arcadia smiled gently. “I know what happened to your family...so, if you consent, I want to adopt you as my own family. You can call me your uncle.” 

 

“Un…cle?” 

 

“Yes.” King Arcadia smiled gently. “And you shall be my niece, Rya.”

 

---

 

Shun stared at her in astonishment. “I didn’t know…” 

 

“You don’t have to know,” Rya whispered, placing her hand on his beating heart. “I’m just telling you this because I want you to know who I really am. I want to be honest with you. I’m not as beautiful and strong as you think…I’m a girl who is too terrified to be alone, yet pushes people away because she doesn’t want to lose any more dear to her.” 

 

“But Shun, just from this short time we spent together...I realized that I feel so at ease. I can talk to you naturally like a normal girl. I feel safe knowing that you did and you’ll continue to protect me. I feel that I can confide in you everything, even the things I never revealed to anyone else.”

 

“I don’t want to push you away. I don’t want to be alone anymore. So, this is a selfish desire of mine, but…”

 

Rya turned and met his gaze unwaveringly. 

 

“...I want to be with you forever, Shun”—her eyes implored him—“so, please tell me your answer.” 

 

He met her gaze silently, glimpsing his own reflection in her bright hazel eyes.

 

Ever since I came to this world, I have been wondering. What do I truly want in this second life of mine?

 

I want to live freely, to not be chained up by the world.

 

I want to live with a purpose, so that I can accomplish something with pride.

 

I want to live without regrets, after a previous lifetime of regrets and mistakes that I can never amend.  

 

I want to do all that…but above all, I want to be able to care and be cared for, to love and be loved by someone I treasure.  

 

So, if, just if… 

 

“...if you can believe in me, Rya, I’ll swear to make you the happiest girl in this world,” Shun said resolutely.