Chapter 9
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Willow waited patiently for Elise to deal with Declan. She couldn't bring herself to do anything that would draw attention to her. Being noticed terrified her regardless of circumstances. It wasn't something she could explain, even to herself. But she knew she couldn't remain that way but she didn't know how to change. She watched as Elise spoke with the man from the guild, her movements stiff yet confident, her tone confrontational. Willow couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. By all rights, Elise should have been more of a failure than her, she was weaker. Yet Elise's eyes had no room for fear or doubt. Elise owned her own shop full of tools. Elise could fight and win. Willow couldn't even imagine herself being capable of that. She couldn't help but feel jealousy and a little spark of hope.

Declan took a step towards her and her heart filled with nameless dread. People's attention scared her. It rarely brought good things.

"Now as for you, you should know if she gives you any problems you can take it up with the guild. The guild doesn't look kindly on any member who mistreats their apprentices. If Elise is ever cruel or violent to you we can help you out,"

The words he spoke were nonsense. She was a failure that Elise had taken on as an apprentice. If Elise wanted to be cruel to her or kick her out there would be nothing unusual about that. She was a failure who deserved what she got. But Elise had yet to be anything but kind and much as Willow's fears tried to place ill-intent as the motivator behind everyone's actions Elise was simply too direct. It had very quickly become clear that if she meant Willow harm she wouldn't be shy about inflicting it. She was not the sort to hide behind subtly. Willow knew Elise wasn't out to get her, even if she couldn't understand why. Knowing for sure that someone wasn't going to turn on you was a novel experience for Willow.

"Don't worry, I trust her,"

The words came easier and with more conviction than expected. It was a strange, unfamiliar, feeling but she did trust this stranger who had let her into her life and given her this opportunity when she had so little to offer in return. Both Elise and Declan seemed surprised by her response. That was fair after all her response had surprised her a little too.

Declan was shoed out the door by Elise complaining about her inability to remember his name as he went. Now that they were on their own again Elise sat back down and offered Willow a small smile.

"Now before I get back to finishing this channel diagram, I think I should explain why I'm doing it and start teaching you some things,"

Willow's heart filled with curiosity and nervousness. She didn't want to fail again like she always did. The consequences of showing Elise how much of a failure she was could be severe. She might even get kicked out again. But there was eagerness as well. She wanted to learn. She needed to learn. So she sat forward with rapt attention on every word Elise spoke and every movement she made.

"It's for you, I'm making a focus for you. Your current wand isn't well suited to you. Though I can tell you haven't used it much. So I'm making you a new focus. It should be a bit easier for you use. Certainly, it'll be much faster. I dread to think what kind of slow cast speed is possible for you with that thing you carry around with you. Now as for why? Well, mostly it's cause I felt like it. Now it'll be loaded up to the gills illusion spells. I'm-,"

"Illusion spells!" Willow croaked "You're giving me an illusion focus?! I can't cast illusion spells! Those are advanced magic. I have trouble with even basic spells!"

Willow quietened down suddenly as she realised she'd raised her voice. She went quiet and gathered herself up almost trying to make herself appear smaller as she waited for the consequences of her outburst. But when she looked over at Elise there was no anger on the woman's face only an amused smile.

"Take out that wand of yours," Elise instructed.

Willow did as she was told. Her nervous fingers gripped the worn wood of her old wand and with a shaking hand she held it up.

"Now can you cast a light spell, preferably one that results in a floating ball light?"

Willow focused, her spell thread moved from inside her where it was formed into the channels of her wand. She wound her spell thread around the spooling reservoir. When a spell pattern is completed they begin consuming spell thread and how much they consume depends on the power needs of the spell and how much power is in the spell thread. But while consuming spell thread it pulls on the spell thread as it drags the connected spell thread into the pattern. Having spell thread forcibly pulled out of her by her own spell was a painful experience that Willow never wanted to repeat and was exactly the kind of thing spooling reservoirs guarded against. Those who chose to cast magic innately, without a wand or focus, had to estimate how much magic the spell would use and reel out enough slack in their spell thread to accommodate it. Few were any good at it as far as she knew. Around and around she wound her spell thread inside the reservoir. It had to be done properly or the spell thread would get tangled and that could jam the wand and lead to a miscast. The spooling reservoir on her wand was very small but she was being careful. Once the reservoir was full then came the gates. Each gate was a decision and a wrong decision would mean starting over. You needed to understand your wand and the spell you were casting to send your spell thread down the right gates. Slowly she navigated the maze-like interior of her old but rarely used wand with her spell thread. Willow's spell thread exited the wand halfway up its length.

Spell patterns couldn't be completely set or there would be nothing about them you could change. This posed a problem if you didn't want to cast your spell exactly the same way each time, some spells needed variables. The spell pattern was designed so the variables and everything else that would need to be changed every cast would be outside the wand. Meaning that the caster would need to complete the spell pattern by drawing the portion of the pattern with their spell thread without the support of the focus. Willow's spell thread slipped around and refused to stay still as drew the variables for the spell pattern in the air next to the wand. Her spell thread reentered the wand sloppily and in an almost panicked rush she raced to finish the spell. She was barely holding the spell thread she had used to draw the variables in place and any second now it'd slip too far and the spell would be ruined.

A tiny white dot appeared at the end of the wand as she completed the spell. Its position was inconsistent and it jerked around in response to the shifting spell thread in the variable section of the pattern, moving almost of its own accord. That was a sign of her incompetence, of her lack of control. It had taken her just over thirty seconds to cast a simple light and the end result was an embarrassment. It was a fa-

"Very good!" announced Elise with a grin.

Her eyes looked the same as when she had been drawing the channel diagram, full of life and enthusiasm. Willow didn't know what to make of it. It was like she had been presented with something broken and couldn't wait to get to fixing it.

"Can you make it blue?" Elise asked with genuine curiosity "It's alright if you can't but can you?"

With considerable effort, Willow forced the variable section of the spell pattern into a different shape and the ball became blue. It was only for a moment though as due to lack of control it shifted back to white and then became red before Willow abandoned the spell and let it dispell. She was tired and her pool of spell thread was shallow to begin with and she had just completely lost control.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Oh don't apologise that was perfect. Instead, tell me what it was like casting your first illusion spell?"

"I? What?"

"Most illusion magic is just coloured light. Breakdown all complex magic and eventually you'll get simple magics putting on airs. Yes, that little blue ball counts as an illusion. You can get better at that, you can exert more control. Both of us know you can. Right now it seems like you're almost afraid to try. That you're worried something bad will happen if you try and assert yourself even over your own spell thread. Practice and the blue ball won't jitter or colour change and then maybe you can use the coloured light to draw us some simple pictures. Become proper illusionist. Of course, being a proper focus crafter is harder but I'll teach you as we go along,"

"Do you think I can?" Willow asked, her voice wavering as she spoke, tears blurring her vision. "I always fail, what makes you think I can do this?"

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