:: ARRICK ::

I don’t know what in Lucifer’s damned name possessed me to do that. I acted like a complete creep! This is my brother in law we’re talking about, not some random person I wouldn’t see or hear from again after this fucking incident.

When Devon said he smelled his mother on Caron I was a bit skeptical. My son is still a pup. He has no control over his senses. Devon might just be imagining it or he must have been mistaken. I never considered the matter before and to be honest, I never paid that much attention. There wasn’t any need to. 

But pups are known to have a strong feel for their surroundings since they have no filter in their senses yet. So if Devon said Caron smelled like Catriona, then there’s a high possibility that he does. And I, dumbfuck that I was, got overly curious.

Still, that doesn’t excuse the fact that I acted like a sleazebag by scenting Caron like that. I didn't even realize I moved close to Caron until I felt the tip of my nose brush the back of his neck. There was no going back after that point and I tried to salvage my pride and sanity by acting normal after the damn deed. I’m glad Caron didn’t go apeshit on me for invading his personal space like that.

I tried to molest my brother in law, for fuck’s sake! I can’t get any more screwed up than that, right? But I guess I’m on the roll today, acting like a scumbag and all. And I think I might have earned a one-way ticket to bastardville because the words “Dev is right, you smell too sweet…” flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

I heard a loud thud and muffled cursing behind me but I was too ashamed of myself to look back and face Caron. I suppressed the intense urge to palm my face or hit my head on the nearby wall, to try to knock some sense into my brain. But that wouldn't accomplish anything except make me look like a complete lunatic.

What the hell is a matter with me? First, I sniff him like some horny creep and then I say something suggestive that should have earned me a blackened eye by now. What’s next? I’m going to grab a part of his anatomy or ask him to show it to me so we could compare lengths? I groaned inwardly at the thought and mentally slapped myself.

Thankfully, Caron is being a good sport about my weird behavior around him. I’m very grateful that my face wouldn’t be connecting with his fists any time soon.

A loud squeal erupted from the end of the hall followed by the sound of running feet. I turned just in time to see my younger brother, Eoin, launch himself at Caron.

Caron was a bit taken aback but managed to keep himself and Eoin upright by leaning against the wall.

“I’m so happy you’re finally back!” Eoin said, rubbing his face on Caron’s neck.

Eoin is a bit special. He acts and looks feminine, even at the age of twenty-one there’s nothing musculine about him. When he was younger, Eoin’s girly disposition and looks often got him bullied by the other wolves within his age group. I try to be there for him, as much as I can, but as alpha I can’t always beat up people who make my younger brother cry.

For some time it frustrated me. I couldn't connect with my own little brother. I have no clue as to what he was thinking. My parents seemed to be at the end of their tether as well and that’s when Caron came along. He seemed to understand Eoin more than me or even my parents ever could. He connected with my brother on a level that none of us ever comprehended but appreciated just the same.

When Caron is around Eoin seems more outgoing and lively. Relaxed. He talks and smiles more.

At first it bothered me. Eoin chose to open himself to Caron other than me, his own flesh and blood. But the more that I see Eoin break out of his shell due to Caron’s influence, the more I understand their friendship. And I begin to think that I’m being petty and immature.

“I missed you so much!” Eoin cried, still clinging to Caron like a monkey. “You were gone for such a long time!”

“But we video chat and talk over the phone all the time!” Caron laughed, lifting and squeezing Eoin before settling him back down on his feet. “When did you find the time to miss me?”

“But seeing you on a video chat once a month and talking to you weekly over the phone is not the same as hugging you like this!” Eoin pointed out.

I wasn’t aware that Eoin and Caron have been communicating with each other that often. I thought they only casually kept in touch over the past years, like exchanging electronic mails and giving each other a call for special occasions.

“Oh no, you don't!” Caron chided. “I did tell you, numerous times, you could come and stay with me for a weekend or during your break from school. But what did you say? You didn’t want to. So don’t give me that.”

“But you live in the city, Carr. Where will I run there? And besides you could have come home instead.” My brother argued. “You’re staying for good, right? You’re not going away again?”

Caron visibly tensed at the question. Telling the truth that he’s back with the pack temporarily would gravely upset Eoin. And I know for a fact that Caron hates making my brother feel bad. So to make up for my freaky behavior earlier, I decided to take it upon myself to save him.

“Eoin,” I started. My brother immediately straightened his spine at the sound of my voice and slowly looked up at me. He was so focused on Caron he didn't realize I was there until I spoke up.

“I… I was just…” Eoin stuttered, trying to think of a way to explain his more than friendly greeting but miserably failed and came up empty.

I shook my head at him and smiled gently, “I understand, Eoin. But Caron needs to see his parents now. You could wait a while before you start bombarding him with questions. He’s not going to leave any time soon.”

Eoin blushed deeply and turned back to face Caron, “Sorry I forgot…” he whispered.

“It’s okay, I’ll find you after I see them, is that okay?” Caron said and mussed my brother’s hair. Eoin flushed happily, nodding his assent. We watched him run back to the other end of the hallway and disappear down the stairs.

I’m guessing he’s going to find my beta, Darach. The two of them have been thick as thieves since Caron left. It’s like Eoin specifically chose Darach to pick up Caron’s mantle. And though Darach grumbled about it, at first, now it seems like he’s happy and enjoying the special role.

Caron turned back to me when Eoin was gone and smiled, “Thank you.”

The grateful look on his face was a bit surreal. His whole expression softened and I had to quickly turn away because I felt a weird tightness in my chest at the sight.

“Nothing to it.” I said, unconsciously rubbing a hand over my erratically beating heart.

We arrived in front of his parent’s bedroom and I knocked thrice on the door to make our presence known. Catrin, his mother, opened the door and beamed widely at the welcome sight of his only son. I stood back and allowed them to have some time for a semi-private reunion.

“Oh my baby!” Catrin cooed, enclosing Caron in a tight hug. “I was wondering when you’d drag yourself back.”

“I’m sorry, Ma.” Caron said, hugging his mother back.

“Let me have a good look at you.” Catrin said, running her hands all over Caron’s face, neck, shoulder and arms. “Oh my, you’ve grown into quite a hot stuff didn’t you?”

“Ma,” Caron looked back at me a bit embarrassed at how his mother was acting and I just shrugged my shoulders, a bit amused by the exchange.

I know how much his parents missed him over the years. It didn't help that Caron never came back, not once, even for a short visit for the past eight years. None of us knew the real reason for his sudden decision to leave but we all understood his need to go.

I, for one, was shocked when Caron asked for permission to move out and study at a university two states over. I would have understood going to another school, Caron has always been brilliant in his studies and the courses offered at the college near the pack were limited. There’s a bigger, more advanced university a couple of miles down the road but it seemed like, for Caron, that one wasn’t far enough. Back then Caron was determined to go and even if I was his alpha, I was in no position to stop him.

It’s not uncommon for pack members to live away from the pack, as long as they adhere to the pack rules. It’s understandable that some would want to live like normal humans, getting a job and living on their own. But I thought Caron wasn’t one of those people. When he declined to be considered as a beta candidate, I know it created a temporary rift between him and his father. I was disappointed as well but more than that, I was curious.

Caron could easily pass the beta challenge, he’s not bulky or muscular like the rest of us but he’s well built, swift and agile, not to mention a very good fighter. It didn't hurt Caron’s chances that he had a very good head on his shoulders. He could keep focus even under intense pressure. So when he declined I couldn’t help but wonder why.

“Before you go see your father tell me,” Catrin moved closer to her son and eyed him slyly. “Have you found yourself a good boyfriend?”

I choked back a laugh and turned slightly away when Caron paled and looked wide eyed at me. I should have known Catrin would pull no punches with this reunion.

“Ma!” Caron chided, still looking warily at me.

“What? Are you bothered that Arrick would hear?” Catrin asked innocently. “Don’t worry baby. Arrick already knows. Your daft sister let slip during a family dinner because we were talking about you instead of her. It’s all history now. You’re not bothered by it right, Arrick?”

“No, ma’am.” I answered politely. “I don’t think being gay makes Caron any different from the rest of us. It certainly won’t make me think any less of him.” It is my honest opinion and truthfully, I forgot about that small detail.

Catriona was the one who outed Caron’s sexual preference to us. I don’t know what exactly set her off that time because I remember she didn't say it as a comment or in passing. Catriona deliberately announced the fact to everyone at the table out of spite. 

My ex is a bit moody and she doesn’t like it when people talk about others when she’s present and could be the center of attention instead. Catriona loves being the muse in everyone’s gaze. Back then, we all felt a bit nostalgic and started reminiscing about the days when Caron was around.

I was surprised, of course. Caron never gave any indication that he was batting for that team. But it didn't bother me in the least to know that he’s gay. What bothered me is the fact that Caron hid it from us for a very long time.

I get that he was afraid the pack would treat him differently and maybe some of the members would. But Caron should have, at least, confided in his family earlier or Eoin or even me. 

Caron shouldn’t have had to worry about something that life changing alone. We could have helped him deal with it and show our support by listening to him. I thought we were friends. And when I had to find out the truth about him, in that sort of weird way, out of nowhere, I couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed.

I left Caron with his parents. It felt wrong staying in the room with them while they’re having a moment as a family.

Frankly, I don’t begrudge Catriona for leaving. She wanted to be with her true mate. I understand that. Her attachment to our son and me was not as strong as the pull she felt towards him. But I hated the way she left.

Catriona stole into the night like a thief, no word or note to anyone. She was the current luna of the pack and it was very irresponsible to create such chaos by acting the way she did. 

If Catriona asked me to release her, I would have. We could have broken things neatly between us and the pack would have been better off. But because of Catriona’s thoughtlessness and intense need to create drama wherever she goes, we thought she was taken against her will.

I still remember charging on her mate’s pack territory demanding to see Catriona with my best warriors lined behind me. Her true mate was not the alpha of the pack. He wasn’t even a warrior class wolf. And the alpha has been very protective of them since he was a relative of the man and true mates within the wolf community these days are rare and hard to come by.

After a small scuffle between the warriors of our packs and after exchanging unsavory words, it came to light that Catriona left on her own accord. She put it out like I was obsessed with her and would never consider releasing her so she could be with her true mate, which I sort of proved when I came to their pack armed and ready for battle.

I felt sick to my stomach after hearing the lies she concocted to get their sympathy. By the time the alpha of the other pack finished telling me of the tales my ex-mate spun in order to make them raise arms against us, I was more than willing to wash my hands off her. I, in turn, had to explain that the only reason we came banging at their doorstep was because we believed Catriona was taken against her will.

The incident could have sparked an unnecessary war between our packs. I wanted nothing more than to clear the misunderstanding. And after we straightened everything out, we quietly left. By that time, I’m sure the alpha of her new pack was second-guessing his decision of allowing Catriona to stay with them. But at that point, I no longer cared what happened to her. Catriona was no longer my problem but theirs.

When her parents learned of what happened, Donovan, Catriona and Caron’s father, plunged into a depression. He blamed himself for Catriona’s selfishness. He always indulged her every whim and he believed that if he taught her a bit more about selflessness and compassion, Catriona wouldn't have done what she did. Donovan was ashamed and asked to be punished in her place.

I’m not a brute and I’m not the kind of alpha who punishes a person for another’s mistake. What Catriona did was her choice and the repercussions of her actions are hers to deal with. Alone. She made her bed and now she must lie on it. Her family doesn't need to lie on the muck of it with her.

I explained as much to her mother and father. Catrin took my decision in stride but as the former pack beta, Donovan couldn't get over it as easily. That is the reason why I appealed for Caron to come back.

I was uneasy contacting him after so many years of not reaching out. But I was worried about his father. By the time I mustered the courage to call, Caron already heard of what happened. I’m guessing from Eoin. 

I was surprised when his first concern was for me and Devon. After a lot of reassurances that my son and I were fine and was resolved to how the situation turned out, I asked him to come back. His father is getting worse by the day and his mother is starting to cave under the pressure.

To be honest, this wasn’t the homecoming I envisioned for Caron. I was hoping it’d be on a happy occasion, free of worry and tension. But there’s no other choice. Catriona, in her selfishness and thoughtlessness, had seen to that.

Before I closed the door of the room, the last sight I saw was of Caron, kneeling in front of his father’s chair while Donovan sat sightlessly, his face turned towards the window. Tears were streaming down Caron’s cheeks and I had to immediately turn away and close the door quietly behind me. I leaned against the closed door for some time, trying hard to clear the vision from my thoughts.

“Damn you, Catriona!” I whispered harshly to the blank and empty before me. “Damn you for doing this to us!”