:: CARON ::

Blood…

I could smell the scent of blood, thick in the air, and it’s making my stomach churn. I’ve been a fighter most of my life but I’ve never been able to stomach the sight and scent of too much blood. Pathetic, I know, but that’s how it is.

The scent is potent, close. Fresh... Is it mine?

I remember the hunt. The last image I could recall was of Pa and Eoin. They managed to fell the wapiti, my father was dealing the last blow when… when…

What happened after that?

The fighting was supposed to stop once the first kill was felled but I remember we were attacked. Everyone backed away from the clearing once the wave of the attacks started and gave our party a wide berth. Our attackers wanted the fighting to last, they chose to isolate me then… and then…

Sharp pain lanced through my neck, coursing through my whole body, jolting me awake. All my senses were unfocused, disrupted. When I opened my eyes, everything appeared to be on an odd angle. I couldn’t hear anything and my whole body felt weighed down by tons of lead.

What the fuck happened?

I breathed in and out to calm myself. There’s no use panicking. I’m breathing and from the immeasurable pain I’m currently feeling, it’s safe to assume that I am still alive. Whatever happened to me, it must have been terrible to make me lose fragments of my memory.

But if I calm down and think clearly, it’ll come back to me. I know who I am. I distinctly remember parts of what happened, it would only be a matter of time before everything is clear.

I tried to move my head but another shot of piercing pain paralyzed and assaulted my battered senses. Stars explode behind my eyes as my consciousness slowly slips back to oblivion. But I wasn’t ready to go back, not yet.

The scent of split blood is thicker. It’s too fresh… too fresh... 

I remember. I’ve been bitten. And from the fresh blood seeping out of the wound, the bite is quite deep.

Who?

Flashes of images flickered through my mind, like puzzle pieces finding its proper place in my fragmented recollections.

Wake up! Wake up! Someone is screaming and it took me a while to realize that the one who’s screaming is me.

My eyelids were heavy but I managed to keep my eyes open. Everything still appears distorted, out of place. But at least I was no longer engulfed in darkness. I could actually make out silhouettes and shapes of objects. I moved my eyes from side to side, no longer trying to correct my hazy vision but trying to recognize the place I’m currently in.

The pack infirmary…

Machines are orderly lined on the side of the bed, connected to my body. I focused on the screen monitoring the beat of my heart. I didn’t look away or think of anything else until I was sure my eyesight was relatively back and my other senses were in order.

The first thing I focused on was the commotion outside the room. The growls that echoed through the walls were savage, untamed. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand and once I caught a familiar scent mixed in the air, my blood ran cold.

Arrick…

My body felt heavy, like I was weighed down by thick shackles chaining me to the bed. But exerting the limit of my current strength, I managed to push myself off the bed. I slumped on the tiled floor, unmoving, feeling intense pain from the sudden impact. Only the feel of the cold floor on my cheeks kept me sensible. Everything in me was protesting, pleading for me to pass out. But I can't. I don’t want to.

The growls and snarls were becoming louder. I winced when I heard someone howl and whimper. A body was being hurled, unrestrained, at the thick walls. The sickening sound of bones breaking and skin ripping filled my battered senses. The fight quickly turned one sided. If it's not stopped, soon, someone will die.

I crawled pathetically on the floor, frantically trying to reach the closed door. The only thought that filled my mind was that Arrick is on the other side, fighting. Whether he’s winning or losing is beyond me. But I need to get to him. Fast!

With a renewed resolution, I managed to drag myself up on my elbows. But the feat proved to be too much for my current condition. I slumped back on the tiled floor, hitting my chin and breaking the skin in the process. I teetered between consciousness and unconsciousness, for a few seconds, before I managed to shake my dulled senses.

There’s no sound coming from the corridor. It’s suddenly quiet, too quiet, and I grew lugubriously terrified.

“ARRICK!” I screamed on the top of my lungs. I used all my remaining strength to the task, praying he’d hear me. “Arrick!”

The door slammed open but I was too tired to lift my head or even open my eyes to see who it was. In a matter of seconds, I was lifted off the floor and cradled by strong but gentle arms. And without pause I was deposited back to bed.

I could smell Arrick’s comforting scent surrounding me, mixed with fresh blood, his and someone else’s.

“What have you done?” I managed to groan out as someone stuck something sharp in my arm.

I heard him chuckle as he leaned over me before whispering in my ear. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

My hand blindly found his and surprisingly, Arrick shrink or pull away from my hold. Instead, he turned his hand over and held on, clutching my fingers tightly.

“Damn…” I breathed out tiredly as the heady effect of whatever it is they injected me with started to take over. “B-bastard…”

I don't know why I’m furious and why he found the situation amusing. Arrick just laughed as I continued to weakly hurl curses at him.

He’s been fighting and in a hospital wing, no less. He’s an alpha for crying out loud! He’s no longer some hot-blooded teenager that can’t hold back his angst and violent tendencies. At his age, Arrick should know better. Whoever goaded him to the fight must be incredibly stupid and Arrick is a bigger moron for being provoked so easily.

“I-idiot…” I whispered as the last threads of my consciousness snapped into shreds.

“Rest for now, Caron.” Arrick said gently, touching my cheek with his fingers. “You can scold me all you want later.”

This time I didn’t fight the strong pull that’s dragging me under. My hand was still laced tightly with his. With this, I am reassured that he’d be here when I wake up. There’s no need to worry, for now. As he said, I could scold him to my heart’s content later. 

Why he’s giving me the authority to do that is currently beyond my fogged brain to comprehend. But no rush, I’d find out soon enough. For now, I’m too tired and the lure of sleep is too good to ignore.

The next time I opened my eyes I could feel a warm body pressed against mine on the bed. Soft hair was tickling me under the nose and a very sweet scent was wafting through my senses. I tried to shift and smiled but the sleeping Eoin groaned in protest at my movements. He wasn’t exactly laying on top of me but his arm was flung over my waist and one of his legs was wrapped around one of mine.

“I tried to make him leave but he wouldn’t budge.” Arrick said from the other side.

I turned my head slowly, taking care not to reopen the wounds on my neck. He was sitting on a chair in the darker part of the room. He turned it around so he’d be straddling it, resting his arms on the backrest.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Alright, I guess…”

It was too dark on his part of the room so I couldn't make out his expression but I know that he’s looking at me closely. I’m at a disadvantage, from where he sat he could clearly see me but I could barely make him out. And I have a feeling that every move and reaction that I display is highly scrutinized and filed. 

We stared at each other for a long time. Neither of us wanted to break the silence. It was like a spell trapping us in a plane entirely our own. It was safer, less complicated, to just stay there and keep quiet. To not acknowledge anything and pretend. But reality had to be dealt with and Arrick broke the silence first.

“Dev wants to see you.” He said, taking off guard.

“Arrick, I don't think it’s good for Devon to see me right now.” I answered. I haven’t had the chance to look at myself in the mirror but I’d bet my left arm and I’d throw in my right leg that I look frightening. Devon is still a child. Seeing me, in my current state, might scare him more than give him comfort.

“He heard what happened.” Arrick explained. “He’s been depressed since and he wants to see you.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea for him to come?” I still think it’s a bad idea. But I want to know what Arrick thinks about it. Devon is his son after all.

“It’s better than not allowing him to see you.” He answered and I nodded in understanding.

Arrick is concerned about how Devon would react when he sees me. But in this situation, it’s better to assuage Devon’s curiosity than let his imagination run wild. He knows I’m hurt, he’s worried. If he accidentally heard about the incident then it’s only natural that he’d be doubly concerned. 

I took a mental note to ask the pack doctor to cover up anything that would alarm Devon. The cuts and bruises could easily be hidden by wearing the right clothes or staying under the covers. My biggest worry is the bite on my neck. It’s too noticeable and still a bit fresh.

I’ve been too caught up in thinking of ways to cover my injuries for Devon’s visit, I didn't notice Arrick moving and heading for the door.

I called out as he turned the knob. “Are you leaving already?”

Arrick turned and from the dim light from the corridor I managed to see his face clearly. His opponent must have been good to be able to land some blows on his face. Arrick has some fading bruises on his jaw and I gasped when I noticed the nasty scratch on the side of his temple. A few centimeters more and he would have lost an eye.

“Arrick that scratch…”

He smiled gently before shaking his head at me. “I know I told you, you could scold me when you wake up but not tonight, Caron. I’m sorry.” He stared at his boots for a moment before he raised his gaze and looked back at me. “I’ve been sitting by your bedside for days, silently watching as you hover between life and death. I couldn't do anything about it. You have no idea how that made me feel.”

“I’m sorry if…”

“It’s not your fault.” He said, cutting me off. “I can’t stay, not tonight. If I do, I might force you to answer questions you’re not ready to answer.”

My ears started ringing and my heart hitched at the meaning of his words. He knows. Oh gads, Arrick knows!

“Arrick I…”

“Don’t…” He said. His voice sounded strained and a little desperate. “Please, just don’t...”

I bit the inside of my mouth and held back the tears burning in the back of my eyes. Arrick looked at me for a second longer before going out of the room and shutting the door quietly behind him. Once I was sure he was gone, I allowed my tears to fall freely. I might have made a distressed sound, or moved too much, because Eoin woke up and looked at me worriedly.

“What’s going on?” He asked sleepily. He caught one look at my face and he jumped off the bed to open the lights. “Are you in pain? Do you want me to call someone?”

Eoin sleeps like a rock. I’ve always teased him about it because with a wolf’s sensitive hearing, it’s beyond imagination how he could sleep through the worst commotions, completely undisturbed. It’s really bad timing for his senses to be alert at such an awkward time.

“Where’s Arrick? He was here before I fell asleep.” Eoin asked, confused at the absence of his older brother. He silently stared at the spot that Arrick just vacated and frowned.

“Arrick needed some fresh air so he left. He was here just a moment ago.” I answered, not lying but not revealing the whole truth either. “Come here and tell me everything that I missed while I was resting.”

What’s between me and Arrick is between me and Arrick.

I’ve been very careful not to let anyone find out my secret. But now that Arrick knows, there’s nothing I could do about it. I can’t deny and lie about it either, not anymore. And worrying about it would accomplish nothing.

Arrick is right. He has questions that right now I may not be able to answer. I’m too shocked with the sudden turn of events to give him a satisfactory response. I’ve been running for such a long time I fear that it has become a very bad habit. 

But I can't run away forever. Secrets like mine never stay hidden, no matter how carefully guarded. In my case, it’s been accumulating for so long it started to become obvious that I’m keeping it. I knew that it’s only a matter of time before anyone notices. It’s just a stroke of bad luck that the subject of my secretly sheltered and well-kept feelings was the one who found out about it.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Eoin asked, still looking worried.

I quickly donned my well-used and carefully crafted mask. I erected my defenses high and smiled. “Of course.” I answered, patting the empty space on the bed, motioning for him to lay beside me. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Eoin hesitated for a second before lying back down. He then proceeded to amuse me with colorful details of the events that happened during the past few days. And as he fell back to sleep I stayed awake thinking, I am the worst kind of liar.