:: CARON ::

Arrick and Darach have been enclosed with Sian in the office for over an hour now. I don’t know what’s happening inside but I’ve been a bunch of nerves since Arrick disappeared into the room.

Sian is not the aggressive type, well not really. Compared to Arrick and Darach, even to me or Eoin, when goaded, Sian is more mellow and gentle like he couldn’t hurt a fly.

Werewolves are naturally belligerent. It’s in our nature to be hotblooded, fierce and assertive. I’m not saying we’re uncontrollable bullies but we could be a bit wild when something provokes our temper, no matter how small or inconsequential.

But curiously, those qualities are not in Sian. I think that’s why Arrick finds him dangerous. I felt it too the first time I met him. Sian’s presence felt different and although his scent is that of a wolf he has another smell on him that you wouldn’t be able to notice unless you’re particularly sensitive to it. When we first met, I couldn’t decide whether to stay or go. I only disregarded my inhibitions when Sian showed no sign of being a threat and perhaps my intense worry for Catriona helped a great deal in lowering my guard.

Sian has a certain edge about him that you can’t mistake for anything but it’s not the type that we exude as wolves. My instincts flare whenever he’s near and it’s mighty confusing since Sian looks so docile and cordial, tame.

I was on the end of my tether and was considering whether to knock or just burst in on their meeting when the door swung open and the three of them walked out, one after another.

“Darach will show you to a room,” Arrick said.

“Thank you, alpha.” Sian answered. “I really appreciate you doing this considering...” He let the sentence hang I think in consideration of who might overhear.

Arrick nodded noncommittally and motioned for Sian to follow Darach.

“Sian, while you’re here, I advise you not to wander alone.” Arrick warned before Sian and Darach could move further away. “I have confidence in my pack. They would not harm a guest who is under my protection. But I would not be responsible for you if you act on your own and disregard my warnings.”

The look he gave Sian was hard and forbidding. It brooked no argument or discussion. There was an underlying message being passed through that stare and only the three of them understood and knew what it meant.

“I understand.” Sian replied.

Arrick kept his attention at their retreating backs until they disappeared at the end of the hall before he turned to face me.

“You couldn’t stay away, could you?” He sighed, raising an arrogant brow at me. “I would have told you everything that was said in the meeting, Caron, you didn’t need to camp out here.”

I shuffled from one feet to the other. I suddenly felt like I did something utterly unnecessary.

“Come then,” he said, motioning me inside his office.

I bowed my head and bit my lower lip. Arrick is treating me like an errant school boy who was called to the principal’s office for a petty offense. But I can’t fault him for it. I’m the one who’s acting so high strung.

It’s been a while since I last entered Arrick’s office. Not much has changed since the last time I’ve been here but this room has always been imposing and intimidating to me. It’s not my favorite room in the pack house, for sure, and being alone here with Arrick in such a closed space makes me feel a bit... trapped.

“I think we should...” before I could finish what I was going to say Arrick’s arms snaked around my waist and his lips crushed mine.

The kiss he gave me was punishing. I could feel the tension of his body as he pulled me closer. I didn’t try to fight or push him off, not that I wanted to, but I wanted him to at least be a bit gentle. I don’t like that he’s kissing me out of anger when I don’t even know what he’s angry about.

“That’s for being a reckless idiot and for making me worry like crazy all the fucking time!” Arrick breathed out harshly as slowly he released me, answering my unvoiced question as to why he’s upset with me.

We were both panting for breath and my lips felt bruised and swollen. But I got to say being kissed like that has its perks, my mind’s still floating to be honest.

“And this,” he continued as he gently traced my lower lip with his thumb. “This is because I love you and I can’t help myself...”

Arrick’s lips descended on mine once more but this time the kiss he’s offering me was gentle, soft and delicate. His tongue lightly traced my lips soothing the pain he just inflicted. I opened my mouth and invited him inside, slowly tangling and massaging my own tongue with his.

Arrick growled in response and slowly guided me until the back of my thighs hit the edge of the table. He lifted me over it before wedging himself in between my legs without breaking the contact of our mouths.

“I want you...” He whispered hoarsely as his lips and teeth skimmed the line of my jaw and neck. He kissed me behind the ears, sucking on a certain spot that he knew would drive me crazy. I tilted my head to one side to give him better access. He placed open mouthed kisses on the length of my neck and licked the spot where he wanted to mark me.

“Caron...” Arrick called out as he grabbed my hips to pull me closer, grinding our fronts together. I held on to his broad shoulders, a breathy moan escaped in between my parted lips as he sucked and bit my overly sensitive lobe.

“Give yourself to me. Let me love you,” his hands wandered under my shirt, his heated palms meticulously traced the line of my body. “Please…”

It’s nice to hear him beg once in a while. Call me cunning but I’m loving this little interlude. His obvious need for me makes me feel quite powerful.

I’ve always wondered how his skin would feel as it glides against mine. If his body temperature is the same as mine or not. I’ve always worried, always thought and believed that I’d never have the opportunity to know, to explore.

When Arrick confessed his feelings for me I thought that was it. My chance had finally come. But in the back of my mind I still held doubts. Then he let me go when Briana came into our lives and my doubts sprung to reality. It took form and chipped at me, bit by bit, until I couldn’t take it anymore.  

I regretted it. I may not have the heart to admit it then but I do now. I regret not being with him, not being joined with him at least once. I regret my reservations and my fears. I loathed myself for my doubts and for a while I resented him for doubting me. 

Both us are to blame for all the pain we suffered until this moment. We’re both responsible for setting things into motion and for all the premature stops we had to endure. But now, right at this moment, we’re finally on the same page. Finally standing on the same ground. And for the first time seeing and wanting the same thing.  

We’ve waited for this moment long enough. I think it’s time to allow our relationship to flower and branch out.

I grabbed Arrick’s face in between my hands and kissed him passionately before whispering a definite “Yes,” by his ear.

Arrick looked deep into my eyes, confirming once more that I know and understand what I was agreeing to. This time there’d be no going back, only moving forward. We were hesitant before but I believe now we’re ready.

He lifted my shirt slowly and after he tossed it carelessly on the floor he gave a sexy one sided smirk and lifted both his arms so I’d remove his shirt too. I chuckled at his playful behavior and proceeded to remove his shirt, all the while trailing butterfly kisses on his perfectly defined abdominals and chest.

Once we were bare from the waist up, Arrick gave me another mind blowing and heart stopping kiss before carrying me to the adjoining room where a single sized bed was sitting on the corner. Arrick uses the room when he’s swamped with work. The floor was littered with stacks of books and papers which he  impatiently toed out of the way.

“It’s a bit cramped for two but I can’t wait until we go upstairs.” He whispered seductively as he deposited me on the bed and covered my body with his.

I smiled and wrapped my arms and legs around him. “I think it’s perfect.”

Yes, we don’t have much room to move but the small size of the bed and the room made everything feel more intimate and personal.

I buried my face on the hollow of his neck and smiled to myself. Imagine that, our body temperatures perfectly match after all. I guess this is it. After this moment everything between us would change. I shivered slightly at the thought and Arrick immediately caught on.

“We don’t need to do it now if you’re not sure.” Arrick whispered hoarsely, clearly holding himself back. “Tell me what you want and...”

I could make him stop. All I needed to do was say the word and he would do it. But we can’t be like this forever. I can’t keep him, us, waiting thinking of a possibility that might not come true. I can’t keep balking whenever we try to take the next step forward.

Nothing in life is certain. It’s one of the things I learned these past weeks, months. Life and fate are too fickle, ever changing, always unpredictable. But if there’s one thing constant and definite in my life, it would be my feelings for Arrick.

The heart wants what it wants. There’s no use denying it or bargaining with it. You can delay the inevitable but in the end, if it’s true, then it is meant to be. Though there are still fears nagging in the back of my mind I know I can’t let those uncertainties and doubts affect and guide me any more than they already have.

I lightly shook my head and pulled his face closer to mine. “I love you and I want to be with you.” I whispered.

The future would come whether we’re prepared for it or not, that is true. Arrick’s true mate is still out there somewhere, waiting to be found. With Catriona back in the picture perhaps what we’re about to do is not the best or wisest move. 

But regardless of these facts, I’d feel much better knowing that I’d be facing that inevitability of uncertainty with  him. Everything would be harder from this point on. But as long as we’re together it doesn't matter how hard or how tough shit gets. All that matters is we love each other and we’d go through everything together from here onwards.

Arrick slowly pulled off my pants and quickly shucked off his. I was surprised when I felt his hands slightly trembling as it roamed and worshiped my body. Knowing that he was as nervous as I was gave me some form of comfort. I couldn’t help but laugh when he unceremoniously took out a packet of condom with lubricant from his discarded jeans’ pocket.

“It pays off to always be prepared,” he shrugged, biting and kissing the inside of my thighs making me forget about everything and anything as he worked to prepare my body for his.

The whole time he was working to loosen me up I could feel his eyes on me, closely watching my reaction to his lovemaking. When his fingers gently curled inside me, he touched the sweet spot that drove me near the edge. I writhed and clawed at the sheets, thrashing my head from side to side until he cupped my chin and locked his lips with mine to calm me down.

“Arrick…” I begged as he settled himself in between my parted legs.

I steeled myself for the breach in my body but he didn't pull out his fingers or try to enter me. I pulled him close to me and wrapped my arms and legs tightly around him, trying to make him move and take me sooner. But he held fast.

“I know love,” he answered breathlessly. “Just hang on a second. Just a bit more. I don't want to hurt you.” 

Arrick continued to work his fingers inside me and I wanted to scream that he’s hurting me right now by making me wait. But there’s no use arguing when it’s clear we want the same thing just at a different pace.

He touched the same spot over and over until I was screaming myself hoarse. Arrick held firm on his resolve until he felt my elongated canines scrape his neck and when I lightly nipped his skin he finally gave in.

“Damn it! Caron… Ah!” He groaned as he nudged and thrust inside me. He stilled for a while to get me accustomed to his size, keeping his weight on his elbows so he wouldn't crush me.

“Are you alright?” He asked through clenched teeth, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. His body was stretched tight. I know he’s barely hanging on but he continued to endure for my sake. “Do you want me to pull out?”

To be brutally honest, this hurt like freaking hell! The pain is more than I anticipated. I feel like I’m going to break in two and Arrick is by no means the regular size. He’s fucking huge! I’m not sure how I’m able to take all of him inside me but I’m glad I could and I’d be damned if I let him stop now that we’ve come this far.

“I’m fine,” I managed to choke out kissing his temple and running my hands soothingly on his back. “Make love to me, Arrick.” I whispered, urging him on. “Show me how much you want me…”

I guess those words provoked and snapped the last threads of self-restraint that he has. Arrick’s self-control broke and without a word he pushed forward and soldiered on until he was fully seated inside me.

“Breathe love,” he gently swiped my hair away from my face and kissed me as he slowly pulled out and thrust in once again. He kept doing the same motion until he found a rhythm that we both liked.

Arrick moved and kissed me like he wanted to possess me, like he wanted to devour me whole and remove all the barriers that lie in between us. He was making love to me like he wanted to mold us into one being. And in his arms I felt free and loved, desired. Intensely. Immensely.

When his canines touched my neck I knew instinctively what he wanted and unconsciously gave him access to it. But being a considerate lover he waited patiently. With his eyes he silently asked me for permission if he could proceed or not.

We could mate without marking each other. But Arrick wants it all and to be honest, I do too. He’s hesitating because he wants to do this in a proper setting. But I don't need anything grand, all I want is him. A proper ceremony could follow after this but it would be for the benefit of our family, friends and for the pack. Today is meant only for Arrick and me, for us.

I kissed him thoroughly and traced his canines with the tip of my tongue. My own canines were throbbing painfully at the thought of sinking it in on the sensitive skin on the hollow of his neck. I inclined my head further and brought his head closer to where he would mark me. I’m currently breathless and blissfully incapable of speech but I could at least show him that I want this as much as he does.

“I love you, Caron.” He whispered as he kissed and licked the spot before sinking his teeth on my skin and thrusting deep inside me.

I bucked and clung to him desperately as his essence fused with my own. The pain came first then ecstasy followed and flowed out of me, fluid and refined. I’ve never felt this form of elation before. And although I feel like all my energy is being sapped out of me I’ve never been this alive and reanimated in my whole life.

Arrick let go of my neck and positioned himself to give me access to his neck. I kissed the spot gently before biting and marking him as mine. He moved frantically inside me and as I reached the edge, Arrick quickly followed and we dove, head first, together, towards oblivion.

When we resurfaced everything felt different, new. It’s done and I couldn’t be happier. And if the beating of his heart is any indication then I guess Arrick is beyond euphoric too. We haven't observed the proper ritual for a mating ceremony but now, I am claimed and so is he. Arrick is mine and I am his.

I must have fallen asleep because when I came to, sweet tingles were coursing through my body as Arrick licked the mark he gave me.

“Hi.” He smiled when he noticed I was awake and watching him quietly. “I’m sorry I was a bit rough. Are you alright?”

I smiled back tracing the line of his handsome face. “Never better,” I answered thinking I must have done something right in my previous life to deserve this wonderful man.

Arrick kissed me gently before showing me the side of his neck. “Would you mind closing this for me?” The mark I gave him is no longer bleeding but it would not heal properly until I close it.

After a short nap, my strength and energy returned and since he seemed to be in a bright and chirpy mood I decided I wanted in on the fun too.

I unhesitatingly grabbed the back of the neck and wrapped both my legs around his body so I could maneuver and shift our positions. Fortunately, Arrick didn’t struggle or fight for dominance so it was easy for me to lay him on his back and straddle him. But I over compensated thinking he’d put up a little resistance so when I got on top of him I wobbled off a little.

“Easy!” Arrick grabbed on to my hips to steady me before smirking lazily at me. “Nice view.” He winked before suggestively licking his lips.

“Pervert!” I chuckled, lightly punching his sides.

Arrick ran his hands up and down my thighs, hip and waist before he reached out to gently cup my face. I hummed at the warm feel of his hand and leaned more into his touch.

“I almost lost you today. Promise me you won’t do anything reckless like that again.” Arrick said. His eyes were serious and pleading as it captured mine.

We haven’t talked about what happened at the diner. He’s waiting for me to tell him but I know it’s been nagging at him. And with Sian around his worries are doubled.

“I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happens to you…”

“I’m sorry.” I answered, lacing my fingers with his and planting kisses on his knuckles. “I needed to make sure Eoin was safe. At the time it was the only way I could think of.”

“And I’m grateful for that. But Caron, you have to understand that you’re with me now.” I gasped when his other hand came up and lightly brushed the mark he just gave me. “I can’t lock you away. I wish I could but I can’t. All I could do is beg you to please not let me go through another horrible experience like that again.”

I leaned forward and gently molded our lips together. Arrick grabbed the back of my neck and deepened the kiss like he wanted to prove and drive the point home by trying to dominate me.

I understand that what I did today was unthinking and reckless. I didn’t think clearly and maybe if I did perhaps I could have found a better solution than offering up myself in exchange for Eoin’s safety. Arrick is right to be worried. Things could have gone horribly wrong, even my twin sister wanted to kill me since I am apparently the linchpin that could make or break all their plans.

But no matter how desperately Arrick wants to extract this sort of promise from me I would not be able to give it. I would exercise caution, of course. I would always be careful especially now that Arrick and I are connected and bound to each other. But I don’t intend to make promises to him that I know I wouldn't be able to keep. 

I love Arrick. If something threatens someone that I love I would gladly do anything in order to keep him safe. I know it's wrong and it would continue to nag at him. But I also know Arrick wouldn't hesitate to do the same for me. And even if I ask him to or beg him to, he wouldn't be able to promise me that he would not do anything reckless especially if it involves me, his family or the pack. For now, I guess we’re even on that score because he makes me worry like crazy too.

“I love you, Arrick Colson.” I whispered as I felt his body stir under mine. I slid and rubbed my length against his and in no time we were both ready to start what we just finished earlier, only this time we’re less restless and would be taking our sweet time.

Arrick groaned in response and lightly nipped my lip, fully aware that particular conversation and avenue is closed. “I love you too, Caron McKinley, so very much.”