:: ARRICK ::

I never meant to move so fast. When I invited Caron inside my office I never meant to corner him the way I did but now that it happened, I’m glad I did it.

Finally, Caron and I are mated and once I deal with the issue regarding Catriona, Delaney, Sian and the rogues I could focus on making sure Caron is satisfied, safe and happy. Always.

After our second bout of lovemaking Caron fell asleep. He was tired and drained but obviously happy and sated. I admit, I’m a bit tired as well but too excited to fall asleep. So after I covered him with a blanket I got dressed, dragged a chair by the bed and watched him sleep.

The scratch marks and bruise marring his cheek are almost gone, so are the wounds by his wrist. I don't need to ask to know that Catriona inflicted those injuries. He still hasn't told me what happened at the diner. But then again, considering what just happened between us, I didn't give him a choice or a chance to talk about anything.

It’s amazing how now that we’re physically and spiritually bound I could sense him so much better than before. To be brutally honest, I’ve never felt this way even when I was mated to Catriona. True, I could easily sense when she was enraged or peeved. But because the energy I could feel from her was mostly negatively charged, I learned to block her off.

With Caron everything feels light and happy. Just the sense of his heart beating in tune with mine makes me feel exhilarated. Charged. I want to know more and feel more. Perhaps it’s our mutual love for one another that makes all the difference. Whatever it is, I swear I would not let anything or anyone touch or ruin it for the rest of our lives.

Caron restlessly turned on his side and unconsciously reached out in his sleep. I could feel that he’s searching for me. I quickly got off the chair, moved to sit beside him on the bed and held his questing hand in between mine.

I don’t want Caron to ever feel alone or unloved. I want him never to worry about losing me to someone else because frankly I don’t think anything or anyone could make me leave him now.

“Arrick?” He called out. His eyes were half closed as he tightened his hold on my hands. “Why are you awake? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” I said softly. “I couldn’t sleep. Rest. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

I wanted to at least hold him while he’s sleeping but the bed was too narrow to fit both of us and I didn't have the heart to wake him earlier so we could move to the bedroom upstairs.

“I was hogging the bed, wasn’t I?” He smiled shyly, bringing my hand to his cheek and planting a kiss on the center of my palm. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I enjoyed watching you snore and drool.” I teased and laughed when he immediately covered his mouth.

“I was not snoring or drooling!” He glared at me, his hands still covering his mouth.

“No, you were not.” I smiled, removing his hand and leaning forward so I could kiss him. “Well, not much to cause alarm anyway.”

“Asshole!” He growled as he pushed on my shoulder. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “We need to have the talk now, huh?”

“It can wait until morning.” I said lightly caressing his flushed cheeks. “But maybe we could move upstairs so I could hold you while we sleep.”

I’m not an expert. Caron is my first male lover. But I could tell that he isn’t used to engaging in sexual intercourse. I don't know if I’m his first partner or not, and it doesn’t matter because I’d be his last, but even I know intimate relations between males could be taxing for the body of the person on the receiving end. I tried to rein in my desires for him and prepared his body thoroughly but at some point my restraints snapped and I’ve been a bit rough with him.

I opened the door to my room and motioned for him to precede me but for some reason Caron hesitated by the doorway.

“Caron?” I asked, suddenly confused because he’s unconsciously blocking our connection. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he answered, vigorously shaking his head and taking a bold step forward. 

“It is something.” I said, pulling him back beside me by the door. “Don’t lie to me, Caron.”

I don’t know what happened but he was suddenly too tense. I don’t need our mating bond to know he’s anxious about something because it’s more than obvious. And although he’s trying hard to hide it, I could still see that he’s deeply upset and affected by it.

“Tell me,” I coaxed gently.

“You’d think I’m being stupid,” he frowned rubbing the back of his neck. “Fuck, even I think I’m being stupid.”

“Tell me…”

Caron eyed me uneasily before turning his head away. “You slept here with her,” he whispered, his voice slightly breaking. “And tonight, I…”

Shit! How could I forget? Of course, damn!

I didn’t wait for him to finish explaining. I immediately shut the door to my room and pulled him in my arms. I was relieved when he went willingly but his body was still stretched taut. And he was still blocking me off.

I mentally cursed myself. How could I have been so stupid?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, burying his face on my chest. “I… tonight I just can’t…”

“No. Don’t.” I whispered back, hugging him tighter, closer. “I’m the one who should apologize. I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry, Caron.”

After he calmed down I took his hand and led the way to his bedroom. His current quarters is relatively smaller than mine but at least he would not have memories haunting him there.

We’re too charged to sleep so we sat down facing each other on the bed as he told me everything that happened in the diner. Even after he finished filling me in I still couldn’t figure out what Catriona is plotting with Delaney and the rogues.

But one thing I do know is the reason why Catriona abandoned her new pack and why she’s trying to forsake her true mate. Sian did his best to explain the situation to me during our meeting earlier. I’m still having problems trying to grasp the enormity of the situation but the problem now is how do I tell Caron the truth without worrying him?

“Sian said Catriona is considered a deserter, for now. The only reason why the alpha of Duskfall hasn't declared her as a rogue is because Sian begged him not to.” I started staring intently at Caron’s face to gauge his reaction to the news.

Deserters are wolves that leave the pack on their volition without proper sanction from the alpha.  Usually wolves that are conflicted between two packs are considered ‘deserters’. They leave their current pack with the intention of either coming back in the future or joining a different pack.

Deserters are different from rogues because rogues are wolves that are not a member of any pack. Commonly, rogues are exiled and penalized wolves that committed a grievous offense or broke the pack laws. There are also rogues who are born loners. Those who don't want to belong to any pack and want to live alone.

Sian did Catriona a huge favor by asking his alpha not to declare her a rogue. This way Catriona could come back to Duskfall or join another pack without a problem in the future. But since she has a bad track record and her true mate is a member of Duskfall, it would be hard to find a pack that would take her in without Sian moving with her. And considering Sian’s special circumstances moving to a new pack would be impossible. Sandalius is the most rational choice for her. 

I don’t know much about Sian. I reserve my judgment until I know more about him and his situation. But after what Catriona did to me, to Devon, to my family and hers, especially to the pack, I’d be damned if I allowed her back, even if she’s willing to work her way from the bottom. 

Perhaps I’m being selfish because there’s Devon and her family to consider but allowing Catriona to be reinstated within the pack would spell nothing but disaster. And I am not willing to take that risk.

Caron is currently upset with her but I know he hasn't stopped worrying about his twin sister. Frankly, I don’t know how he would take the truth about Catriona’s motives and present behavior. I’m worried because I don't want anything to disrupt the flow of our progress especially now that we’re finally mated.

“Sian came to Sandalius in hopes of finding Catriona. He wants her to go back to Duskfall with him.” I continued mincing my words and trying not to give too much away so it wouldn't be much of a shock. “He’d been very honest and forthcoming during our meeting. Mason Reeves, his alpha, heard that Catriona has been associating with notoriously brackish rogues. He specifically urged Sian to release her and come back to Duskfall alone.”

If I were in Mason’s position, I would have asked Sian to do the same. I’m not biased or anything of the sort but Sian seems to be a nice guy. I could tell that he’s important to the alpha of Duskfall. Chasing after Catriona would only spell ruin for him.

“But as we know the bond between true mates is hard to sever and in their case it would be nigh impossible since they completed the mating ritual.”

That was the crux of the situation. If Sian weren’t marked he would have been fine letting Catriona go. And if they didn't mark each other Catriona wouldn't have found out about Sian’s well kept secret.

Caron’s continued silence was starting to bother me.

“Caron?” I gently tapped his shoulder to bring his attention back to me. He was staring off into space and aside from the erratic beating of his heart I have no other indication as to how he’s taking in all this. Unfortunately, he’s still blocking me off and though I could penetrate his defenses if I tried, I don't want to force my way in. Not with him. Never.

“I don't understand,” Caron said after a while as he looked back at me. “Why would Catriona complete the ritual if she intended to leave Sian and the pack? Catriona wouldn’t allow Sian to fully mate with her if she wasn’t sure of him. Something must have happened between then and now to make her change her mind about him. Did Sian say anything?”

Sometimes I curse his brilliant mind and sharp instincts. Caron has always been intelligent and quick on the uptake. He has a natural feel for things. But the problem with him is, when he’s directly linked to the matter at hand he becomes overly emotional and a bit narrow minded.

“Catriona wasn't happy in Duskfall. Mason had been keeping an eye on her and we both know being under scrutiny doesn’t sit well with Catriona.” I said, measuring my next words. “And although he’s a close relative of the alpha, Sian is just a regular member of the pack. Perhaps the lack of status contributed to her unhappiness and dissatisfaction.”

“Perhaps.” Caron readily agreed but I could tell he still had suppositions running through his head. “But still, it wouldn’t be enough to push her to leave. I know my sister. Catriona could work her way around that. She would push Sian to his limits if necessary. Something else must have driven her to this point.”

Yes, something did push Catriona or more like someone.

I did have my suspicions even before I learned the truth, directly from the source. It’s rare for family members of an alpha to be a low class member of the pack unless they’re incredibly weak and untalented. 

With his pedigree and the connections, Sian could easily pass as a warrior class wolf or get beta status if he wanted to. And when I saw him earlier, calm even when surrounded by warrior class wolves, I’m betting he has enough skills to back him up. 

Sian’s apparent content on being a regular member of the pack is very intriguing. It bothered me, when I laid my eyes on him for the first time, that my senses went haywire on the mere sight of him. That my instincts suddenly went wild in his presence. I thought it was just me being overly sensitive but Darach was edgy as well. Actually, Darach was feeling more anxious than me because he never eased up or let his guard down throughout the whole meeting.

I scented Sian to look for hints as to what was wrong with him. I couldn’t understand it because although he has the smell of a wolf on him I could clearly sense that he didn’t have one. And when he told me the truth, despite what I sensed or didn't sense in him, I couldn't believe it at first. I thought Sian was pulling a fast one on me. But when Sian willingly demonstrated that he’s telling the truth, I couldn't negate the fact and suddenly, it all made perfect sense.

Sian Reeves is a half-breed, part wolf, part feline. Half snow leopard, to be exact. It’s an uncanny combination because wolves and felines don’t mix breeds. 

Sian is the first I’ve seen of his kind. I’ve seen jaguars before. I met a lion and members of his pride once. But because our breeds usually skirt around each other, I don’t know much about werecats. Werecat population is relatively smaller than werewolves’, for sure, but they have more variety in regards to shape and species. And because they don't live in packs, like wolves do, it's hard to keep track of them.

As a half-breed, Sian shouldn’t have been allowed to live with the pack, especially since he’s other half is a feline. Even if his mother was from an alpha’s direct line it just isn’t done. His presence would have caused a lot of disturbance and commotion because his mere existence is an anomaly.

But Duskfall pack is unique in that regard. As I understand, the pack learned to live and accept Sian as one of them. It’s amazing because such a bold action would have not been possible or tolerated if the alpha was not highly trusted or respected.

I guess this secret is part of the reason why Sian doesn't like calling attention to himself. The reason why he learned to hide his emotions and suppress his strengths. And the main reason why he didn’t try to aim for a higher status in the pack hierarchy.

From what he told us, Catriona bailed on him the moment she realized he wasn’t a pureblooded werewolf. I am unclear of the particulars as to how he managed to hide the truth from her for so long. It’s a miracle that he managed to connect with her even though he’s lacking a wolf inside him. But I guess Sian is special in that way. But when they performed the mating ritual and marked each other, there was no way to hide the truth then.

Sian confessed that if he’d known Catriona would run away from him he wouldn't have gone through with the marking. He believed that the bond between them was strong enough to withstand the issue of him being a half-breed. But as it happened, he was wrong.

Now that he’s bearing Catriona’s mark even if he wanted to let her go, he couldn’t. Like werewolves, werecats are fiercely territorial. They don’t get easily attached to anyone, even to their own mates, but once they’re bound to something, or someone, everything gets more complicated.

Mason doesn't fully support Sian’s decision to chase after Catriona. But the alpha of Duskfall willingly vouched for Sian and even asked me, personally, to look out for him while he’s here.

“Arrick?” I’ve been too caught up in my thoughts I didn't realize Caron was trying to get my attention for quite some time. “What is it?”

I’m sure Sian would keep his word. He’d keep a low profile and adhere to my commands while he’s in my land and under my protection. From the way he acted around Caron I could tell that he posed no threat. At least none that I could see for the time being, otherwise I wouldn’t have allowed him to stay. Sian wants his mate and although his presence within my pack makes me nervous, I’m not going to begrudge him the chance to try and take her back.

I’m not certain if telling Caron the truth about Sian is the right decision or not. But I will not take a chance when it comes to his safety. I don't care if Caron finds my constant worrying a nuisance or if he finds my over protectiveness disturbing. I want him well guarded and cautious at all times, especially now that threats are all around us.

The simple fact is, I wouldn't be able to survive it if something bad happened to him. Disclosing the truth about Sian’s situation would be better than keeping Caron in the dark. If he’s aware of the facts Caron would know how to act accordingly in certain situations, at least I hope so.

“There’s something you need to know about Sian.” I started, praying that telling him the truth wouldn’t fan his propensity for the absurd and abnegation. “And it might be the main reason why Catriona is trying to sever ties with him and reclaim her position in Sandalius.”

Caron’s face darkened as I proceeded to tell him the truth about Sian. He didn’t say anything until I finished relaying everything that happened during the meeting.

Looking at the complicated look on his face I could see that Caron is trying to provide excuses for Catriona and Sian for what’s happening between the two of them. Caron is weird like that. He tends to justify everyone’s behavior because he believes everyone deserves a fair chance. But in this case he cannot do that.

Caron can’t possibly believe that what Catriona is doing now is justified. He shouldn’t. This is the second time Catriona is deserting a pack and her chosen mate. The first time might be warranted. She found her true mate and the pull between them is too strong to ignore. There’s nothing she could do about it. But this time, with Sian and his pack, Catriona’s behavior and treatment of them is unfounded. Her high-handed and immature behavior has to stop because she’s creating cause and effect situations that wreak havoc in a lot of lives.

Sian isn’t blameless either. He should have been more honest with his mate. The situation escalated due to his negligence and behavior as well. If their foundation was stronger and if they didn’t rely on instincts as true mates, alone, then things between  them could have been different.

“What are we going to do with Delaney and the rogues?” Caron suddenly asked.

“I don’t know where they fit in this mess. For now, I'll double the patrols and always be on the lookout for their next move.” I answered honestly. “Please don’t go off on your own again. I’d hate to lock or chain you up in order to keep you safe.”

“You’d really do that?” He asked partly teasing and partly serious.

“Would you like to try and see?” I asked back.

Caron shook his head at me before sliding down on the bed and pulling me beside him. Caron knows me too well to realize that we could joke about these methods. But if something happens to him again, I’d seriously consider every possibility in order to secure him.

 “Caron.” I said, turning my head to look at him.

He hummed as he made himself comfortable beside me.

“I allowed Sian to stay but I don't trust him.” I continued. “It’s inevitable that he’s going to want to talk to you but could you promise me that when he does you’d limit your interaction with him?”

He frowned but nodded in assent without much thought.

“Is this how it's going to be from now on?” He asked quietly after a while. “You’re going to tell me what to do and what not to do, like I don't have a mind and can’t decide for myself?”

That statement stung but I understand where he’s coming from. Caron doesn't appear to be mad but he sounds a bit upset. I’m imposing too much but there’s really no other way, at least not for now.

“No, of course not.” I fully turned on my side and urged him to do the same so I could look into his eyes. I lightly caressed his cheek and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I’m sorry if it feels that way, Caron. But the current situation is very delicate. I don’t want anything to happen to you. Please bear with it for now, okay?”

“But the same goes for you too, right?” He said, lightly pulling the edge of my shirt.

“I’m always careful.” I whispered, touching my forehead to his.

“I'm serious , Arrick!” He growled irritably, biting my chin.

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him. “I know.” I said, burying my face on his hair. “Rest. You’re coming with me to pick up Devon tomorrow. We could tell Mum and Dad about us during our visit and when we get back we’d tell your parents and the pack. Afterwards we’d start preparing for the mating ceremony. Then you’d be wholly bound to me.”

Caron sat up and looked down on me to see if I was serious. I just grinned at him widely to show him that I was. I closed my eyes and hummed sleepily when Caron frantically tried to keep me awake and ask me when I decided all that. Now it’s his turn to watch while I sleep.