“Here.” Marcus handed Jason a small black book as Jason fastened his seatbelt.

“What is it?” Jason cautiously took the book while Marcus fished out his keys and started his car.

“Ashlyn’s diary. Specifically the one she’s kept since meeting you.” Marcus shifted the car to reverse and began pulling out of the hospital parking spot. “She asked me to destroy it, but obviously I changed my mind.”

Jason flipped through the pages and gaped at the detailed notes kept on each one.

“Why did she want this destroyed?” Jason muttered.

“It’s evidence. Her plan is nearly complete so she wants anything that could potentially point to her involvement removed.” Marcus shook his head. “Read what you can. It won't take us long to get there.”

Jason’s lips pressed together in a thin line but he flipped the diary to the first page and began to read. The first entry was eight months ago.

 

January, 14th, 2021

I’ve always been drawn to the practice of writing down my daily thoughts. I suppose in a world full of idiots I thought of it as the only real place I could retreat to have a sensible conversation. I’ve kept a diary like this since I was eight years old. The current diary I’ve been using still has dozens of pages left. So why am I starting a new one? 

Something happened today. Something I can’t explain. Ironically it came on the day where I finally let the melancholy of the world around me beat me into submission. Halfway through the day I snapped. I’ve been forcing myself to pretend like I care about the dolts they call teachers, the cesspools of filth they call students, and the prison they call a school for so long that I never actually expected them to break me.

Someone asked where Latvia is on the map. That was it. That was the straw that snapped my will in two. How many times have these ingrates looked at a map? Hundreds? Thousands of times since grade school? You look at a place once and remember where it is. Why is that so hard to understand? How many more times does it take before it sticks inside of that cinderblock you call a brain? Why does the teacher take a few moments to remember herself where the country is? 

Maybe I would have been able to control myself if it was just the one subject but it isn’t. It’s every subject. Every single subject everyone else has to spend so much time learning what should be so simple. Why can’t they remember? Why can’t they learn? Why am I stuck in this world of stupidity? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!

 

Jason frowned at the large splotch of ink that decorated the lines directly below Ashlyn’s rant. This wasn’t a healthy state of mind to begin with.

 

I snapped my pen in my hand. There was a small cut so I used it as an excuse to go to the nurses office. The cigarette addicted medical professional cleaned up my hand and slapped a bandaid on it without a word. Her lack of concern would have irked me if I wasn’t already done with the world. I suppose it was a good thing in the end. I suggested a bit of time alone so I could think through things and the ‘medical professional’ used it as an excuse to go out for a smoke break. I took the bed in the far corner of the room and shut the curtain around me. To be honest, I don’t really know what I was going to do. All I knew is I was not going back to class. Looking back, it almost feels like fate dictated our meeting.

Hayden Lindon burst into the room. Transfer student, blond, average grades, average IQ. I would have remained in my small area of seclusion if not for the other boy he set down on the bed nearest to the door. Jason Simmons. Another transfer student. Brown hair, average grades, average IQ. Just another face to see and ignore day after day. The only semi-interesting thing about Jason was his made up illness. I don’t know who he had to bribe in the front office, but the staff were all under the delusion that Jason suffered from a skin condition that required him to wear long sleeves and gloves at all times. Absolutely ridiculous. 

Jason was unconscious, a large bump clearly visible on the side of his head. From the panicked look in Hayden’s eyes, he was probably the one to put it there. He didn’t linger either. Hayden sprinted out of the room in search of the nurse. Call it a morbid curiosity, but I approached Jason’s bedside for the singular purpose of seeing if he was still breathing. I reached out and felt his neck for a pulse.

 

Jason felt a chill run down his spine.

So that’s what Hayden meant. Jason thought back to meeting his friend in the mall. I wasn’t the only one in the nurse's office that day.

 

Stimulation. Not of Jason’s heart pushing blood through his veins, but a tingle began in my fingers and slowly began to spread throughout my body. Jason was very much alive, but my focus had suddenly shifted to this new wave of emotion that cascaded through every nerve in my body. This time I was the one panicking. For the first time in my life I was at a loss. This new feeling wasn’t painful, in fact, it was the best feeling I’d ever had in my life. 

It scared me.

I retreated back to my hiding place and waited for Hayden to return with the nurse. What surprised me the most is how the tingling feeling that now persisted in my entire body didn’t fade over time. I needed to know more. I needed to understand. I finally found something I hadn’t realized I was lacking until I tasted it again. 

Purpose.

I was going to learn everything I could about this experience and, if possible, make it mine forever.

 

“So that’s how it started.” Jason murmured quietly.

Marcus simply nodded while keeping his eyes firmly locked on the road in front of them. There was far too much detail in Ashlyn’s daily observations of him to read it all so Jason skimmed ahead until he found more relevant insights.

 

March 2, 2021

Staying an observer is proving… difficult. Although I’ve found no evidence that Jason would oppose me if I began to make advances on him, his past makes that avenue of attack dangerous to tread. He treats any and all contact with girls as a threat. No doubt spurned by the trauma he's experienced in the past with the Beckett twins. If I’m not careful, even the slightest interest shown on my part  could scare him badly enough to cause him to move schools. That would cause him even more distress since I would absolutely follow him to any school in the world.

At this moment I’m physically incapable of attending a school that Jason isn’t a part of. I live for just seeing him every day.

That brings up the second concern I have against making advances towards him. I fear further physical contact with Jason would push me over the brink. Any plans or schemes I make would be null and void if I can’t control myself around him. If I tipped my hand, even a little, Jason would immediately be suspicious of me.

I wouldn’t be able to take him hating me.

No. The only way this could possibly work is if Jason is no longer fearful of this power he possesses. There must be a way.

 

It felt surreal to have his mental state broken down so clearly. Jason skimmed ahead further but froze when he spotted a new name in Ashlyn’s entries. One Jason knew all too well.

 

March 14th, 2021

I found her. The perfect candidate. I’ve already confirmed that not every individual is susceptible to Jason’s influence, but I think I’ve found someone in the right age range and mental state. Kirsten Stanley. One of the only people in this school that might know more about a topic than I do. However, unlike me, her technical knowledge comes at the price of social skills. No real friends and no self confidence. Also she comes with the added benefit of boarding the same train that Jason takes to school each day. She’s perfect.

The contact will happen tomorrow. It’s the day before a work holiday so the train will be packed with people getting off early from work. Shoving is normal in such a confined space. Jason probably won’t even notice if a hand is forced past his open cheek.

The thought of introducing another girl to the wonders of loving Jason sickens me, but I have no other choice if I truly want to understand Jason’s ability. I have to watch the process happen to someone outside of myself first. Besides, the girl is so painfully shy I doubt she’ll ever have the courage to even approach my Jason. I’ve already had Marcus insert cameras in the girl’s apartment and a backdoor into her computer.

 

Another unsolved piece of the puzzle locked into place. Kirsten’s involvement had always felt odd and out of place. Jason only hoped that he could make it up to the poor girl. The next few months were a mixture of observing Kirsten’s descent into obsession, researching possible origins for Jason’s ability, and a slowly spiraling mental state from Ashlyn’s forced separation from speaking to Jason directly. Jason thought back to the few times he remembered making eye contact with the beautiful classmate at school. He had naively thought that the smiles were Ashlyn’s way of being polite. He didn’t realize how painful each of those experiences were for Ashlyn. There were pages upon pages describing the fierce and barely controllable desire that rocked her mind and body whenever their eyes met. An old familiar shake began to return to Jason’s arms as he continued reading an entry from two months ago.

 

July 22nd, 2021

I finally found something promising. Though I’ve already ruled out genetics as being the origin for Jason’s abilities, I continued to look into Jason’s parents for any clues. Yesterday I contacted a man who supposedly had an encrypted hard drive belonging to Jason’s father. I was skeptical, to be sure, but I followed up with the lead all the same.

Jackpot.

Eric Simmons was into the occult. A few months ago I would have written off this possibility as mere fantasy. Today? After spending month after month crossing off every single logical explanation for Jason’s unique ability? I’m ready to believe. My eagerness for a breakthrough cost me dearly though. I was careless and triggered a lock on the data before I could read even half of what it contained.

As shameful as it is to admit, I might need someone with more experience in this field to unlock this treasure trove of information.

 

Everything. Jason’s body was numb from revelation after revelation. She was behind everything.

He was even more surprised to see that she had the hard drive so long ago. Jason didn’t receive it until the new school semester started in September. His curiosity and determination pushed him towards the last few pages of the diary.

 

August 29th, 2021

I’ve done it. I’ve made a plan to win Jason’s love, remove his ability to make rivals, and eliminate the few rivals that remain all at once. The best part, the part that took me the longest to craft, is how to make Jason believe that he’s doing this all of his own accord. It will cost him everything. I will make sure of that. He will climb the mountain in front of him, conquer his past, and be left with nothing but empty ground to begin building anew.

This plan will endanger Jason’s life. There’s no way to make things safe for him without suspicion. All of the cards are on the table. If I win I get everything I’ve ever wanted. A life with Jason of his own free will. One built on trust. One that will last. After all, who cares what bodies are buried below the house as long as the foundation is stable? He’ll have no reason to look because, in his mind, I’ll never be involved.

For this dream to become reality, Jason must be pushed. Adaline Becket will be the perfect catalyst. I can’t deny the girl is dangerous. That’s why I’ll add a few extra layers of protection for him. I once again have to praise my foresight for bringing Kirsten into the picture, the girl has transformed into quite the stalker. Her extra eyes and ears around Jason will go great lengths to protect him from Adaline. She’s also the only one I’m confident will be able to crack the hard drive. The girl is complacent watching Jason from afar, but I have a feeling that will change when competition enters her field of view.

Jessica Hanson. Childhood friend and potentially the first person to ever fall under Jason’s influence. While my skin crawls with jealousy even giving her that title, I’m not blind to the girl’s physical prowess. Her skill with the blade is quite impressive. Plus, she is rumored to actively seek out street fights in her spare time. As someone who has also endured separation from Jason, I can understand the need for some type of destructive release… I’ve already arranged for Jason’s location to be gifted to Jessica. She’ll come running. I would do the same in her shoes.

The final layer I’ve decided on is Courtney Tiggs. Though her personality will be far more unpredictable compared to the others, her vast access to manpower and weaponry may prove vital to Jason’s wellbeing. While Adaline may be the main force I’m counting on, these three may prove to be helpful in Jason’s metamorphosis.

Right now he’s a simple boy scared of the world around him. When I’m done he’ll be the man I know he is inside. He has to believe he’s deciding to do this on his own. That’s the only way this works.

There’s so much that can happen. So many variables that can turn this against me. Even something as small as this book can ruin everything I’ve planned. I should burn it to ashes, but here I am writing further. It’s sad really. I simply can’t burn my record of Jason. Until I can hold him in my arms this is all I have.

Oh… I can’t wait. I’m shuddering just thinking about it. Soon. Very soon. I’ll make sure I’m the only one he can turn to. I’m just so thankful that his aunt has a trip that week. It will make getting rid of her so much easier.

 

Jason’s blood froze in his veins.

“She didn’t…” Jason looked at Marcus numbly.

Marcus tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I set everything up. I didn’t know she was planning on killing her.”

“What did you think was going to happen?” Jason shouted. “How could you go along with this?”

“You don’t understand Jason.” Marcus shook his head. “Ashlyn is too smart for her own good. A frog in a cold pot of water doesn’t realize it’s being brought to a boil until it's cooked alive. She played me like a fiddle. She’s always been able to do that. Everything made so much sense. I was doing it for her. I thought I was helping…

“It was wrong.” He shot Jason a meaningful look. “I’m trying to make it right.”

Jason bit his tongue and turned to the last entry in the diary. It was dated a few days ago.

September 14, 2021

The deal maker. He’s the one Jason’s father made a pact with to start it all. Jason has all of the tools he needs to find and speak with the deal maker. I know what he’ll ask for. He wants it all to be made right. That beautiful foolish boy will give anything to repair what damage has been done. I need to make sure he makes it through this meeting in one piece.

I have to pay his price.

This actually works to my advantage. If I set the terms, that means I can make exceptions that Jason doesn’t have to be aware of. The new deal has to free everyone from Jason’s influence with one, particular exception.

Me.

I don’t want to go back. No. I can’t go back to how I was before. I’ve never felt so alive. I’m so close to claiming Jason as my own. His touch will be for me and me alone. One by one, his pillars of support are striped away. The moment this ordeal is done and Jason is ready to fall, I’ll be there to catch him. A concerned classmate shows up to help him grieve. To lend a shoulder to lean against. The first person who Jason can safely touch without fear of driving them insane by simple contact. How could he not fall for me?

Please wait for me Jason. Our future together is so close…

I love you.

 

Jason turned the page but found no further writing.

“Why did she end up asking you to destroy this?” He asked Marcus quietly.

The veteran shook his head. “Too much evidence and she couldn’t bring herself to do it.”

“Besides.” Marcus’ brown eyes hardened. “She’s been too busy.”