CW: Explicit language, forced drugging, mind control/brainwashing, imprisonment.
Double chapter today! (＾▽＾)
A heavy hand falls upon her shoulder and squeezes. “Where are you going? We still have customers who aren't being seen to.”
Bucky sighs and adjusts her grip on the tray of food and drink. “Delilah,” she greets her coolly. “I am delivering food to the Training Room.”
“There’s already an attendant assigned--”
“I will be the attendant for the Rosebud from today, so please take your fucking hand off my shoulder.” Bucky’s tone drips saccharine.
Delilah flushes in anger and she releases her grip. “How bold you are,” she scoffs, “to think you could come crawling back like nothing happened. You’re lucky that the Madame favours you so much. Any other Rose would have been burned to death for betraying Her like you did.”
“My betrayal saved your sister,” Bucky says, dryly. “Would you have rather I capture her instead for re-training? If my betrayal is worth burning for, imagine how badly your sister would have suffered.”
“She is not my sister,” Delilah hisses, pupils constricting with the sudden flare of rage. “I would have relished in her suffering.”
“How hideous of you.”
“She should have known better.”
“It’s not the first time a Rose has fallen in love. It’s a tired old story.”
Delilah narrows her eyes, suspicion etched deep into her face. “The Madame might have forgiven you, but I still question your devotion.”
“I have long endured my punishment. Is there more I could have done?”
“You don’t belong here.”
“Do you doubt the Madame’s judgement?”
The Rose gnashes her teeth in response. “You’ll be back at the Brier soon enough with the other discards.”
Bucky huffs through her nose as she watches the irate Rose stalk into the main hall, her fingers tightening around the laden tray. Without wasting another second, she continues on down to the cellar, irritation giving way to the ever present uneasiness gnawing at her heart.
She didn’t have time to play with the other Roses, especially ones like Delilah whose vitriol is constantly focused upon her. Ever since her sister ran away, Delilah had fixated on making her saviour’s life utterly unbearable, going as far as to cajoling the others into abusing her.
When Bucky found a needle in her bowl of rice one morning, she had requested to be transferred out of the Palace. The brief respite in the Sweet Brier had been enjoyable - she would much rather be ignored than targeted. But then…
But then she had to meet the Rat. And worst of all, she had to care.
The guards let her through the plain cellar door, located in the backrooms of the main building. The mournful cry of a lone erhu pulses through the walls as this afternoon’s entertainment begins in earnest. It’s another packed hall, with the hustle and bustle of patrons and Roses mingling and drinking, the lively energy heaving and swelling with palpable prurience.
When the door closes behind her, all noise disappears, leaving her with the hollow ring of silence. Oil lamps are used down here, so it’s gloomy and cold, with a slick dampness in the air that stubbornly clings to the lungs with every breath. The stairs creak as she makes her way down and the darkness swallows her plump form.
The Training Room is a place the Roses revisit in their nightmares, years after they are released from its cursed belly. While it’s tucked away deep in the cellar, it’s not uncommon to catch the faint sound of screaming and wailing rising from the floors, carried up with the drafts. Usually, these screams only last a week. Three weeks for the more extreme cases. This time, however, it has lasted a full six weeks.
The senior Rose releases a hard breath and readjusts her grip on the tray. Upon it is a bowl of rice porridge, a pitcher of water, and some orange slices. She knows a plain meal is best for Rosebuds undergoing training. Anything heavy or salty will almost always be vomited.
The cellar is frigid at this time of day, just as the sun hangs low in the sky, stealing away the heat from the air. The cells and cages are empty, grim artifacts from a bygone era. There’s the lingering coppery scent of blood that’s travelled through the decades, the previous owner of this estate rumoured to have held rather perverse and dangerous tastes. Giving a slight shiver, Bucky hastens her steps until she reaches the red steel door.
She sets down the tray and pulls out the keys, pausing briefly to listen. There’s a muffled gasp and a series of shaking breaths and sobs. Sounds like he’s in the grips of another session. Grimacing, she quickly unlocks the door and picks up the tray.
The room inside appears more like a padded cell, with cushioned walls and floors to stop the occupant from injuring themselves - a common side effect of training. There is the distinct stench of piss, something that she knows will never leave this room. Huddled against the furthest wall, there sits a trembling figure dressed in a soiled white shift, hunched as they pant in terror. A silver chain adorns his right ankle, deceptively delicate but strong enough to withstand the most violent of forces. Tangled raven hair falls over a damp face, twisted in terror, and those glazed hellebore eyes flicker from side to side, seeing things that only exist in his mind. Seeing things that only the Madame wants to show him.
Bucky bites her bottom lip, brows falling low over a sympathetic gaze. She sets the tray down nearby and lowers herself onto her knees, making sure not to come too close lest she frightens him further. “Rin?” she calls, softly. “Can you hear me?”
A loud sob erupts from the boy and he grabs his hair in both hands, near ripping them out by the roots. Bucky quickly reaches out and places a gentle hand on his shoulder, trying to draw his attention. Her touch seems to break through the illusion given the way he stiffens and scrambles back, pressing himself flat against the wall. Wild eyes roam around the room until they land on her face, pupils trembling in shock.
Bucky smiles, hope stirring. “Rin, it’s me Bucky. I brought you something to eat. Are you hungry?”
Cracked lips move silently as those glazed eyes blink at her lethargically.
The Rose slowly moves closer, trying to catch his words. “What did you say?”
There, beneath the ragged pants and welling sobs, are words uttered so quietly they may as well have been a breeze. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.
The woman feels a lump in her throat. She doesn’t promise him anything, can’t promise him anything. Because she will have to leave and he will have to remain here for as long as the Madame dictates.
“I’m sorry, Rin. I truly am.” Feeling her eyes sting, she picks up the pitcher of water and offers it to the boy, hoping to rouse him further. “Have some water. You must be thirsty--”
The boy swells and gnashes his teeth, backhanding the pitcher and causing it to bounce across the floor. If it weren’t for the padding, it surely would have smashed. Perhaps that is what he’d been hoping for. A definite way out.
Blazing fire alights his eyes, a bloodied glow within their depths, washing away the fear like a giant, cleansing wave. And for one brilliant, heart-stopping moment, Rin is a beautiful terror, a titan who cannot be restrained...
And Bucky knows, then and there, that Rin might never be fully trained. She decides to keep this realisation silent. If a Rose should ever have a chance to reclaim himself, it’s her duty to help him do so.
And like a smouldering meteor that dies behind the horizon, the titan is gone, replaced by a mere human wracked with horrors unimaginable.
Bucky leaves with the tray, food untouched. She’ll try again tomorrow.
When she locks the door, the screams start up again, and they follow her for the rest of the night.
***
The screams stop altogether at two months.
The talking stops at three.
Every time Bucky brings his food, Rin sits silently in his stupor. He drools and stares blankly at the wall, so lost is he in the illusions. The Madame confides in Bucky that she has eased the dosage for the Rosebud’s training. She’s pleased with the boy’s progress.
It won’t be long now, Bucky tells him silently as she pours a trickle of water into his slack mouth. Not long until you’re free.
Rin swallows when told. Sleeps when told. Pisses and shits when told. But any attempt to converse with him or rouse him from this dream-like state is only met with that unending, hollow stare.
Madame Kahin’s presence is the only thing that truly stirs the Rosebud, but she also brings the fear, making him shake and rock with the terror she had wrought upon him for the past three months. It will be another month, at least, before the boy is fully trained outside of the Room and ready to debut as a Rose.
Bucky brings in objects to rouse the Rat. One time, it's a music box that brings a dim light to his dead eyes. Another time, it's a rare photograph of a summer’s day at the beach, and he seems to transfix upon the golden sun in the sky. Though try as she might, she can never draw a single word from the boy.
Water dribbles from the corner of his mouth and the woman dabs her sleeve gently against his chin. “Even if you don’t feel like it, you must obey the Madame,” she whispers, trying to feed him more water. “Let her think that she has won. And soon, you will be released from here. You will be able to find yourself again.”
Rin shudders and coughs, spluttering water all over the Rose. She sighs and sets down the cup, clapping her hand against his back as he coughs up the liquid. One day, she promises silently. One day, when the time is right, she will help him leave this cage. The titan is present, slumbering, waiting for the right moment to be released.
***
The grounds are cool and quiet, draped in the sumptuous glow of the midnight moon. Sleepy crickets chirrup in the silver drenched garden. A gentle breeze caresses the trees. Leaves rustle. Branches creak. An owl takes flight and a small creature skitters into a bush.
He stands alone under the pagoda tree, staring up at the undulating ocean of stars rolling through the heavens. The heavenly realm seems within reach, just a breath away. The gods are restless tonight.
A figure comes to stand beside him, following his gaze to the sky above. “It is interesting that you come here,” Luna says, hands tucked into his gossamer sleeves.
“It’s the only place I’ve ever felt safe.”
“What about home? Where your mother is?”
Rin lowers his eyes and stares at the spirit impassively. “That house isn’t my home. And Dasom isn’t much of a mother.”
A flicker of sorrow crosses the spirit’s visage. He locks eyes with the boy, his gaze unfathomable. “I am sorry.”
“For what? It’s not your fault.” Rin leans against the trunk of the pagoda, flattening his back with a sigh. “As much as I hate her, I kinda get it. Why she is the way she is. If my father never left...maybe we would have had something normal. Something good.” He raises a shoulder in a half-shrug, lips pulled back in a tight smile.
Luna takes a while to respond, his face turned back to the stars. His profile is sharp and handsome and endlessly troubled. “Your father has made a terrible mistake,” he says, softly. “He should return and make things right.”
Rin scoffs, kicking his heel against the bark. “I don’t ever wanna see that asshole.”
“But you kept your name.”
The raven intakes, hands curling into tight fists. “So? It’s better than taking the one she gave me. That name makes me fucking nauseous.”
“I don’t think you’re being very honest with yourself.”
“What are you doing here, Luna?” the Rat grits through his teeth, irritation prickling at every nerve. “I thought I sent you to the underworld.”
“You did not exorcise me, Rin. I told you I would possess you and so I did. Have you forgotten already?”
“I sang Izayoma’s Call--”
“Which has no effect on gods,” Luna interjects, calmly. “I do not belong to Izayoma. It is in fact, the reverse.”
“Are you still harping on about that? Look, Luna. Or whoever you are. You’re not a god. And you’re definitely not the Imperial God of the Night. You have me now. I’m well and truly possessed, so you can stop playing this stupid game.”
Luna tilts his head at the sardonic boy, his moonlit eyes like a pair of silver coins. A smile dances on his lips. “Your mind is under attack and yet you have found this sanctuary for me to dwell in. I must thank you for being such an accommodating host.”
“This isn’t your sanctuary,” the raven huffs, pushing himself off the tree.
He begins ambling through the grounds, pausing every now and then to pluck and sniff a bloom. Soon, a trail of flowers follows his steps. Luna follows close behind.
“Kahin has consumed much of your mind,” the spirit says, pausing as Rin picks a yellow rose. “This is the last place left that remains untouched.”
“I know,” the boy says, staring at his pricked thumb. A bead of blood works its way to the surface and he watches it trickle down the digit with dispassionate eyes. “Every time I leave this place, it feels like my soul’s being shred to pieces.” His voice drops into a tremulous murmur and he closes his hand around the thorny stem. Sharp pain lances his flesh. “It’s getting harder to remember. I don’t even know what Dasom looks like anymore. I’ve forgotten everything about Bellow, except for his name and that he’s important to me. I’ve even started forgetting things about myself.”
The only constant is the pair of golden eyes, gazing upon him with eternal warmth. A tender smile. A gentle voice. Rinnie.
“She’s stealing everything away from me. And I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.” He relinquishes the rose and continues walking. “She’s all I can think about. Her emotions are the ones I feel the most. Her will is mine. She’s the real possession, swallowing everything that makes me me.”
“Her powers are strong,” Luna sighs, clasping his hands behind his back as they gently amble through the orchard. “My influence cannot extend outside of this sanctuary. All I can do is guard this place from her poison. I can keep it hidden from her view so that she may never completely control you.”
Rin leaps onto the uppermost branch of the tallest tree in the orchard, his movements deft and graceful. Luna follows suit, landing beside him with nary a sound.
Before them is the endless and languid sprawl of the Black Forest. Aran Mountain extends below their feet with Hanjuyang like a dense scattering of stars. But at the edges of this sanctuary, dense slate clouds sluggishly devour the land. Beyond is Her domain, heaving and toxic.
“You’ve been with me since the night we spoke,” Rin murmurs, his robes and hair catching on the wind. With his pale, impassive face, he looks as spectral as the one who stands beside him.
“I have,” Luna hums, gazing at the rolling clouds with hooded eyes.
“You’ve been watching me, then.”
“Now and then. I am not always aware of the external world.” The spirit side glances Rin, his smile cutting into a cheek. “If you were wondering - yes, I did see it. Your squabble with the Northerner.”
The Rat huffs and raises his chin, lips pursing in anger. “He deserved it.”
“Perhaps. But what’s more concerning is that you endangered yourself.”
“It’s not like I had much of a choice.”
“Now you really are being dishonest.”
Rin glances at the amused spirit, scowl lurking on his face. “Don’t fuck with me, Luna. Just spit it out.”
“You always have a choice, Rin. Even if you can’t see any before you, there is always at least one, hidden from sight. You just have to find it, that’s all.”
“When I’m like that...when I lose control of myself...I can barely think.” Slender hands pinch their sister sleeves. “Dasom calls it my monster. A sickness that she passed on to me. There’s no getting away from something that’s in my blood.”
“Your monster…” Luna tilts his head, contemplative. “Your monster is breath-taking.” He smiles when he sees the boy’s startled expression. “Perhaps you could learn to tame it. If you know when and how to release your monster, it could be a powerful weapon.”
Incredulity touches Rin’s tone. “And how do I do that?”
“I haven’t the faintest.”
The raven huffs and rolls his eyes, but he quickly falls into deep thought, ruminating on the spirit’s words.
Eventually, he says, “Luna. What happens if you can’t protect this place? What will happen to you? To me?”
“She cannot touch me,” the spirit says, lightly. “But if she touches this sanctuary, she will have you under her control.”
“So basically, I’m fucked.”
“No matter how much power she has, she will never be able to destroy you. Not completely. While she can control your mind, she can never control your soul. That is the one thing that no amount of magic can affect.”
“My soul?” the raven scoffs, gathering his unruly hair between his hands. “How is that gonna help me? If She can control my mind, then I’ve lost. It doesn’t matter if my soul’s untouched.”
“Your soul matters, Rin. It means that there is hope for your return. There will always be that hidden choice, even when you are forced to do her bidding. Your soul gives you the chance to fight back. Do you understand?”
Rin twists his lips before making a noncommittal noise. Though he finds it difficult to completely trust the spirit, Luna has done nothing but help him over the years. If he’d wanted to harm him, he would have already done so.
The carnivorous clouds are now encroaching on Hanjuyang, seeping into the outskirts of the city and swallowing up the tiny lights. Luna stretches out his hand and a white light pulses from his palm, bursting outwards like a ripple in a serene lake. Trees shiver in the disturbed air. Sleeping birds awake and take to the air in fright. The long grass rustles and night creatures skitter.
Rin watches as the white light washes over the city and settles over the land in a light mist. The clouds crash into this protective barrier like a tsunamic wave against an impassable cliff. Kahin’s poison settles and simmers, lurking around the barrier as it searches for a weakness in the magic.
“Will it hold?” the Rat asks, his face pale and beaded with cold sweat.
Luna sighs lightly and lowers his hand, flexing his fingers. He gives the anxious boy a reassuring smile, eyes like crescent moons. “As long as I’m with you, yes.”
“...then I hope you never leave.”
A gentle laughter floats up into the air, even as the two ghostly figures melt into the soft darkness of the night.
Check out the Daily Eggplant's Kinktober collection on AO3! These fics are based on OGBL - many of which are also hosted on CG. Come and get your daily dose of spoice and fluff~~
