Chapter Forty~one

Exquisite Mess

Part Two

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Hours passed in a blur of lips and tongues, hands, soft words and coarse words, tears and laughter, sighs, sweat, entangled limbs, heavy breathing and heated moans, until at last Tamyn collapsed over Abrizhen's back, his very last scrap of energy surely now expired.

He lay his face down on his own damp hair that was plastered across Abrizhen's skin.

He had draped his hair over Abrizhen to deliberately hide that back from his view, but now he lifted his head and moved his hair aside to reveal what he'd been avoiding.

Abrizhen's back, from bottom to top, was a mess of scars.

Thin lines from whips, wide lines from straps, burns of various shapes.

There were more now than there had been in the past, and some of them were still pink, only just healed to the point that the wounds wouldn't reopen.

It made him so angry that he'd almost lost his resolve for the task at hand.

It made him so angry that there was any part of Abrizhen's body that was hard to look at, that anyone could do such a thing to this person he loved so completely, and that Abrizhen had willingly gone back for more of it.

But that same anger had always made him want to give Abrizhen as much pleasure as he possibly could, to wrap him in a bubble of love and bliss, to be an antidote to his suffering.

Abrizhen had never liked to be separated right away at this moment, so Tamyn lay there on him for a long while, still inside him, kept his hand under his hips although it was being crushed under the weight of two people now, and laid his cheek down on those scars, listening to Abrizhen's heartbeat through his back, pounding at first, then slowing and calming.

Finally, he slowly pulled himself up, smiling at Abrizhen's soft moan as they disconnected. He looked down over Abrizhen's shoulder, where he still lay face down in the pillows, and kissed the tip of his ear.

“Everything alright?” Tamyn asked with a light laugh.

“Mm hmm.”

“Can you breath like that?”

“Mm mm.”

Tamyn rolled off of him and sat up against the headboard.

“Come, get your face out of there,” he admonished.

Abrizhen rolled over and nuzzled his face into the side of Tamyn's waist, throwing one arm over his lap. Tamyn pulled the quilt over to cover them both.

“I'm exhausted,” Abrizhen complained. “I don't remember this being so exhausting.”

“That's the release of all the stress you've been holding,” Tamyn said gently. “What you've had to endure... that kind of stress can take a toll on a person. I could teach you some Contemplation techniques to manage it.”

“You'd probably have to spend a lot of time with me then, to teach me?” Abrizhen grinned. “But I'd probably get easily distracted, by other activities.”

He nibbled at Tamyn's waist and laughed.

“If you could stay focused, though, you'd be less exhausted after those other activities. Especially if you insist on packing eight years into a few hours. Are we all caught up now?”

“Mmm, not even close...” Abrizhen murmured against Tamyn's skin.

Tamyn lightly swatted his arm.

“We should get up,” he said. “You need to get back as soon as possible.”

“No!” Abrizhen said, sitting up in alarm. “I told you, I'm not going back.”

Tamyn sighed and gave him a serious look.

“You'll have to for now. The Queen will have to grant you shelter to come into the castle-”

“I can just stay here.”

“That isn't safe. For you or for Didia. You don't want to make things dangerous for her, do you?”

“Of course not, but-”

“I'll petition the Queen on your behalf, but it might take some time. Abrizhen, you defecting could be the last straw that sends our countries to war. We can't be hasty. Let's do it by the book. And the Queen may require some evidence of your sincerity. Your position as Ambassador-”

“Spying?,” Abrizhen said. “Oh, I don't know... This Ambassador thing is only in name. I don't have any real access or authority. And you know I'm... how I am. They'll find me out.”

“Don't worry. Let me talk to her first, it may not come to that. For now, nothing has changed. Just keep your head down and do your work as usual.”

Tamyn took his face between his hands.

“I'll get you out of there. Just give me time to handle my end of things.” He sighed heavily. “I have to go soon. I have to report on this meeting.”

Abrizhen grinned again.

“Oh, I'd love to read that report,” he said slyly.

“Don't laugh,” Tamyn said seriously. “I only have to report the important points to Mistress Amelys tonight, but tomorrow I have to go tell the Queen that I've just spent the night fucking the Valeskan Ambassador.”

Abrizhen laughed out loud, but seeing Tamyn's face, he quieted down.

“Wait, really?”

“Really.”

“And when did you start swearing like that?” Abrizhen asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“Just now,” Tamyn said dryly. “It's a whole new me.”

“Why do you have to-”

“The worst case scenario here is that I lose my position...”

“Tam!”

“No, the worst case is that I'm arrested for collusion.”

Abrizhen was horrified.

“Tam, I didn't...”

“Queen Inaissa is a very understanding and compassionate person. The more honest I am with her, the less likely either of those things will happen.”

“I've brought you trouble,” Abrizhen said sadly. “Do you... regret this?”

“Maybe I should,” Tamyn said with a bitter smile, “but I have never regretted you. Don't you know by now that I would walk into Hell with you smiling like an idiot?”

“I'm the idiot,” Abrizhen said. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Tam. I should never have left you. I swear I never will again.” He buried his face again. “I want to stay with you. For good.”

Tamyn sighed and stroked his hair and his shoulder in silence.

Abrizhen looked up questioningly.

“You don't believe me?” he asked.

“I believe you want that,” Tamyn answered softly. “But I don't need any promises from you. If you had to leave again... Zhen, I'll always be here. No matter what happens, you can always come to me. Maybe it's foolish, but you know that I'll take every minute you'll give me. If you do leave, I'll just Contemplate into an icicle, and wait for you to come back again. I think you always will. Just... don't take so long next time.”

Abrizhen stared at him in amazement.

“I don't deserve you,” he whispered.

“Yes,” Tamyn said, with firm conviction. “You do. I don't know why you would never believe that. You deserve to have the life you want. You deserve love. And you will always have it right here.”

He patted his own heart, smiling sadly.

“Kazia said something like that...” Abrizhen mused.

“I'll need to talk to her, too, and tell her everything. We'll need her on our side, to add her voice to the petition.”

“Kazia hates me,” Abrizhen said, shaking his head.

“No,” Tamyn assured him. “No, she doesn't. She has done nothing but worry about you since you've been here. She was beside herself that you were wandering out without guards. I think she thought... that you might be putting yourself in danger deliberately.”

Abrizhen looked away.

“She might not have been wrong.”

Tamyn put a fingertip on his forehead and pushed him gently.

“No more thinking like that,” he said sternly. “Abrizhen, if you have to leave it will hurt, but I can handle it. If you died... don't do that to me. Please. I couldn't...”

“No,” Abrizhen said. “I won't. And I'll be careful now. I promise. Will you take that promise, at least?”

“I would drag you to a temple for a blood oath on that one,” Tamyn said.

“Hmm,” Abrizhen replied. “Perhaps a different ceremony...”

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves,” Tamyn said softly.

“You wouldn't...?”

“If you had asked me that eight years ago,” Tamyn said softly. He ran a fingertip along Abrizhen's jaw, then brushed it across his lips, studying his face with a gentle gaze. “Slow your thoughts. You're going to have to give me some time, to be certain of you.”

Abrizhen nodded gravely, then narrowed his eyes as he peered up at Tamyn.

“You're so different now,” he mused. “So... in charge.”

“Well, someone has to be,” Tamyn replied, a hint of humor returning. “We've all seen the results of your decision-making.”

Abrizhen gave a self-deprecating smile of agreement.

“It looks good on you,” he said, reaching up to stroke Tamyn's face. “And you're still so beautiful...”

“And you...” Tamyn dragged a hand down across Abrizhen's ridged abdominal muscles, his appreciative gaze following. “Where did all of this come from?”

“Training horses,” Abrizhen answered. “It's a lot of hard work.”

“Clearly.”

“You like it?”

“Of course I like it,” Tamyn said as if that should be obvious. “It's you.”

Abrizhen smiled and rose up under the quilt, moving over to rest on top of Tamyn again, settling between his legs. He propped himself up and began smoothing Tamyn's mussed hair away from his face, combing his fingers through the damp, tangled locks.

“If you have to give a report tonight, I'll run you a bath first,” he said. “I don't mean to brag, but you're kind of a disaster right now.”

“That's bragging?”

“Yes,” Abrizhen said, very seriously. “I have made quite an exquisite mess of you tonight. It's practically a work of art.”

“Exquisite mess,” Tamyn said with a wry smile. “What an apt descriptor for us. Are you a poet now?”

“Mmm, I am,” Abrizhen replied. He cleared his throat dramatically, but then looked down and spoke in a low and wistful voice.

 

“The murmurations of the starlings

Flocks meeting in a kiss, too brief, they separate again

Then crash together, fluid merging

Their waves dense like limbs entwining

Arms encircling the embrace

Dancing, joyful in the song that guides them home

Far to the South, urging onward, home again

Where is the song to guide me home,

To those too brief kisses, entwining limbs

Our murmurations sighing in memory

Sing me home again to that embrace...”

 

Abrizhen's voice trailed off, and he glanced at Tamyn, who only stared at him.

“Well, I didn't say I was a good poet,” he said, shaking his head with a rueful grin. “But it does rhyme in Valeskan. The sailors have an old tradition, when they're out at sea, of writing down a prayer for their loved ones back at home, and then burning it. The smoke is supposed to carry the prayer to the Gods.

I don't really believe in any Gods, but for a while I used to write you poems and then burn them, and pretend that the smoke could carry to wherever you were, and whisper the poem in your ear.”

He had said this all to Tamyn's chest. He glanced up again now, his face reddening deeply.

Tamyn just stared at him silently.

“I know... it's stupid,” Abrizhen said, pausing to cough down a knot gathering in his throat. “I just missed you so much...”

“I really want to fuck you again right now,” Tamyn whispered hoarsely.

Abrizhen's eyes widened, and he rolled them in mock indignation.

“Honestly, youngest Lord Ilianus! Who on Earth taught you how to talk like that?”

Tamyn grinned.

“It was a very foul-mouthed gentleman who once told me that if you're going to do it, you should be able to say it.”

“Who are you calling a gentleman!?” Abrizhen exclaimed. “You're talking to the former Prince Heir of Devratha! I have fallen low, young Lord, lower than low! You will find no gentleman here.”

“Fine,” Tamyn conceded. “Delinquent.”

“That's more like it.”

“Degenerate.”

“Very much so.”

“Vulgarian!”

Abrizhen laughed heartily.

“Now that you've said it, though...I suppose you'll have to do it.”

He leaned forward to peck Tamyn's lips.

“Mmm...” he said then, as if deep in thought. “There's just one problem...”

“What is it?” Tamyn asked, frowning hesitantly.

Abrizhen knelt up on the bed and pulled Tamyn's hips up onto his thighs, then leaned over him and breathed into his ear.

“It's my turn.”

Tamyn's eyes narrowed, darkening with desire.

“So it is,” he agreed. “Then I suppose you'll have to do it.”

“Do what?” Abrizhen whispered, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

Tamyn's face reddened and he turned aside, biting back a shy smile.

“Oh, now you're embarrassed again?” Abrizhen teased. “Come on, say it... please?”

Tamyn looked up at him, eyes heavy-lidded and glittering.

“Fuck me,” he said softly.

Abrizhen returned a wolfish grin.

“Mmm, I think I like this whole new you.”

 

 

“Do you like it?”

“Of course I like it. It's you. I like everything about you. I love everything about you.”

“I love you too. I will always love you.”

 

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