Chapter Five

I Know Why You're Here

Part Two

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“Hey...” Abrizhen said gently. “I don't blame you for needing to be certain.”

He looked at Tamyn, who seemed to have relaxed from a previously tense posture and now wore an apologetic expression.

Abrizhen smiled at him sheepishly.

“Zhenzhi, that day in court,” Kazia said despondently, “I'm so sorry that I blindsided you like that.”

Abrizhen sucked in a breath and he closed his eyes as his chest filled with a sudden storm of unnameable emotions.

Kazia winced and her hands twitched in his grasp. He opened his eyes and gave her a grim smile.

“There's no need to apologize,” he said. “I'm so proud of you.”

Kazia furrowed her brow in confusion.

“You really know how to throw a punch,” Abrizhen said, laughing bitterly.

Kazia only peered at him in consternation.

“I'm the one who must apologize,” he continued. “I'm sorry for everything I said. I only participated in this farce because I knew there would be no result. You're far too capable. I told Father it was a stupid plan. You did see through me, though, didn't you? You know I didn't mean any of that.”

“You meant some of it,” Kazia said quietly. “And... you were right about some of it.”

“I was just angry,” Abrizhen countered, glancing briefly at Tamyn. “You really do know how to throw a punch.”

“That wasn't meant to be one,” Kazia said defensively.

Abrizhen gave her a cheeky smile before turning serious again.

“Kazia, I would never want to drag you back there. I am happy that you got out. I wish you hadn't disappeared without a word to me, but... all I ever wanted was to protect you.”

“Then why didn't you?” Kazia said, her small hands suddenly tightening around his with all of her strength. “Why did you stand beside him when I needed you to help me?”

“I did help you,” Abrizhen replied sullenly. “At least, I did what I could.”

Kazia frowned at him quizzically.

Abrizhen drew a deep breath, bracing himself against a chilling sense of helplessness that began to descend over him. He glanced around at the others - Tamyn watching with gentle expectation, Amelys looking on impassively.

”Father truly believes that this 'training' he gives us is for our good, that he's making us stronger - 'Devratha does not break' and all that horseshit.”

He glanced in sudden embarrassment at Amelys and bit his lip apologetically.

“There's no dissuading him from that, and trying only makes him think me weak and worthless. But sometimes... he just wants to hurt someone. His father used the same methods with him, and sometimes he just needs to remind himself that he is in control now, that he is no longer the victim, and that is when he is most dangerous. Those were the times I was able to...”

Abrizhen's voice trailed off as he took a number of shuddering breaths, closing his eyes.

Kazia flinched and pulled her hands away from his with a gasp.

Abrizhen felt Tamyn's hand slide up his arm to grasp his shoulder.

“You drew it upon yourself,” Tamyn said softly.

He turned a bleak gaze to Kazia, who sat stricken with horror, her tears flowing again. She withdrew the Seamist from her pocket.

“Kazia?” Amelys said gently.

Kazia only nodded absently before taking a dropper of the liquid and stowing it away.

Abrizhen frowned.

“Kazia, before - you said something about Father's Alchemists. You asked if I knew what they did to you. I'm not certain what you meant by that. It's been bothering me.”

Kazia jolted again, but Amelys reached down to pat her shoulder.

“Kazia's so-called 'training' was not the same as yours,” Amelys said frostily. “You are aware of Kazia's unique nature. Gorvan's Alchemists were experimenting with her abilities. Some of these experiments were quite invasive.”

“Kazia...” Abrizhen whispered, stunned with horror, “fuck...”

“Zhen...” Tamyn said plaintively.

“Well, what else can you say to that?”

“Agreed,” Amelys said crisply. “But let's not speak more on that for now.”

She gazed at Kazia with concern.

“I'm sorry,” Abrizhen said mournfully.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

“I'm sorry I couldn't do it,” he whispered.

He opened his eyes and gazed vacantly at the tabletop.

“I was going to kill him,” he said flatly.

He felt everyone around the table become tense and he looked around at them all.

“When I returned from the University, I had every intention. I planned for several different methods. But in the end...

Father gets away with murder because he's the Prince. I don't have the same privilege, and while I would happily rot in prison the rest of my life if it meant that he were dead and you could be free, part of me always hoped that someday I could...”

His voice trailed away as he looked over at Tamyn with an agonized expression.

He shook his head then and admitted, “Honestly, in the end, I just didn't have the courage.”

He turned back to Kazia.

“I'm so sorry I couldn't kill him for you.”

“Lord Devratha,” Amelys said gently, “you needn't apologize for an inability to murder your own father.”

Abrizhen smiled at her gratefully and nodded.

Tamyn linked his arm around Abrizhen's elbow and took his hand between both of his own.

Kazia smiled at this affectionate gesture and reached forward to take Abrizhen's other hand again.

“He loves you... profoundly,” she said to her brother, tipping her head toward Tamyn.

Abrizhen lowered his face as he couldn't help but smile at that.

“You wouldn't use him as an asset would you?” she asked.

“Never,” he answered adamantly. He looked at Tamyn. “Never.”

His smile returned then, a bit of slyness added now.

“Anyway, aren't you all the ones using me as an asset now?” He laughed lightly as Kazia and Tamyn exchanged guilty glances.

“We only ask that you keep your eyes and ears open,” Amelys said as she rose from her chair, prompting the others to stand as well. “If you should happen upon anything useful between now and the time that we can extract you, we would love to hear it, but we won't require active espionage. Just keep yourself safe. We should all return now. The Queen will be eager for our report.”

“Mistress,” Kazia said, “we two should go ahead. Perhaps Master Ilianus can join us later.”

Amelys cast her gaze between Abrizhen and Tamyn and smiled lightly.

“We'll give Kazia a rest before meeting with Her Majesty,” she said finally, turning to link an arm with Kazia. “Good night, Lord Devratha.”

“Mistress Thanelin,” Abrizhen replied with a shallow bow.

He turned to bid farewell to Kazia, but she and Amelys both abruptly disappeared.

 

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