Chapter Ten

I've Been Dreaming Of Him

~*~

 

 

In the afternoon, a memorial service was held for Kelvaran in the castle chapel.

Being the only Valeskan in the castle, Kazia had agreed to open the service with a funeral poem in the Valeskan language.

As she stood at the altar and recited the poem, her voice trembled, a combination of sorrow and her unease with public engagement, although there were very few in attendance, she noted.

Aside from her close circle, there was the royal family, Mister Cardil the Librarian, a few Alchemists, and a few more academics from the University.

When she finished the poem, Kazia lit a fire bowl on the altar, then took her seat with Amelys while the chapel priest took over the service.

He was an ecumenical priest, educated in the old traditions from across the Five Nations. For the next hour, all of the proper Valeskan prayers were said, the invocations given, all of the funeral songs were sung, although they had been translated into the common tongue.

As Kazia sat listening, she surveyed the statuary about the chapel, the stained glass windows, and the painted icons on the walls. Being in close proximity, the Five Nations, and Dericia, had very similar traditional religions, although each region depicted the Gods with their own variations. Caedra being the pluralistic society that it was, it came as no surprise to see representation from all of the Nations included here.

Kazia's gaze lingered on an icon depicting the Caedran god and goddess of the underworld. In Thalesia, they gave the goddess preeminence. In Brinland, it was the god. The other countries all held them to rule the underworld as partners.

Kazia had never been a devout practitioner. Her family had not been - certainly not her father - although they had attended all of the festivals as was expected. She wasn't certain she really believed in the gods, but as she studied the icon she began to wonder if there really could be an underworld, or any sort of life after death.

Could Kelvaran really be there? Surely not. It was all just people trying to make sense of death, wasn't it? She should certainly hope that there was no reality to what she'd seen in her dreams. It was too cruel.

Amelys went to the altar, and poured out the contents of a vial into the fire Kazia had lit. It was a small sample of Kelvaran's blood found in his laboratory for use in an Artifact. Had there been a body, it would have been burned according to Valeskan tradition.

Kazia imagined that had been done already, in Valesk, by his enemies. It made her sick to think of it.

With this final act, the service was closed, but Amelys sat again with Kazia to wait until everyone else left the chapel.

“I want to go see Abrizhen,” Kazia said.

“That may be difficult for now,” Amelys replied. “Last night he told Master Ilianus that several Embassy staffers and guards were recalled to Valesk, and he doesn't know why.”

“Do you think they'll move to vacate the Embassy?” Kazia asked, alarmed.

“It's uncertain, but they've given no other indication.”

“If they vacate with no warning, then Abrizhen-”

“We need to let things settle after... recent events. Consequences are uncertain as of yet.”

“Could Zhen find out why... he does know that woman after all.”

“I was serious when I told him not to dig into anything,” Amelys said. “He'll keep his ears open, but more could be too dangerous for him.”

Kazia nodded, then settled back into her seat with a wistful sigh.

“Mistress, do you believe in the gods?” she said, looking around the chapel again.

Amelys considered a moment.

“I believe that the traditions keep people together,” she answered.

“But could there be an underworld, do you think? Where Kelvaran could be -”

“That I don't know,” Amelys said, “Honestly, working with magic, one sees many odd occurrences in a lifetime, but I've never seen anything to prove the beliefs.”

“I've been dreaming of him,” Kazia said. “I haven't been able to remember until this morning, but it's been the same dream every night. It seems real. He's there with me.”

Amelys took her hand and patted it.

“I have been dreaming of him too,” she said. “Of our days at the Academy, when he was very young. Such dreams will come for a long time, Kazia. They are part of the grieving. It is the mind adjusting to his absence. They will pass, when you're ready.”

~~~*~~~

After the service, Kazia climbed the tower stairs to the library. She had taken the day off, but wasn't quite sure what to do with herself.

“Lady Kazia!” Mister Cardil called as she entered the library. “How lovely to see you.”

“Mister Cardil,” Kazia answered. “I wanted to thank you for coming to the service. That was very kind of you.”

“Of course,” he said. “You know Lord Meratha was one of my favorites.”

“Not many here would say that,” Kazia replied, “as one could plainly see today.”

“Pssh,” Mister Cardil said, waving a hand dismissively. “Pay that no mind at all. It is clear to see that Lord Meratha was well loved by those who mattered to him.”

Kazia smiled, perhaps for the first time today.

“Thank you, Mister Cardil.”

“Is there anything I can help you find?”

“Nothing really, I'm at a bit of a loss today. I thought I might just wander the stacks a bit if you don't mind.”

“Not at all, you go right ahead. And if you do think of something I can help with, just give a shout.”

“Thank you again,” she said.

Taking her leave of Mister Cardil, Kazia climbed to the third floor, where things were usually quiet. This floor housed books of history, the arts, languages, subjects more useful to the Chanters – those Alchemists who worked with more traditional magic, and who were quite few in number – than to the applied work of most Alchemists.

Kazia found herself perusing books on the old religious traditions, pulling several out of the shelves and sitting on the floor to leaf through them in her lap. A few hours went by without her noticing, but when she did realize the time, she chose a few of the books that had a lot to say on the underworld deities and reshelved the rest.

“The underworld,” Mister Cardil noted aloud as he wrote them in his ledger. “If you don't mind me saying, Lady Kazia, that seems a bit out of your usual bailiwick.”

“A few of the antiques from the University have some symbols on them that piqued my interest,” she said.

She wasn't really lying. There were such symbols on some of the Artifacts, but only used as decoration.

“Hadn't those Artifacts been put aside?” Mister Cardil asked.

“Yes, for now,” Kazia answered. “I do hope to return to them when there's time.”

“I'm a religious man, myself,” he told her, finishing up with the books. “I find the gods to be a great comfort in times of loss. To think that a loved one might be safe with them if they can't be here with us.”

“Safe?” Kazia said softly. “But what if they aren't safe there?”

“These are heavy matters for your young heart, Lady Kazia,” he said warmly.

Kazia felt his compassion, and it did give her some small comfort.

“Say a prayer for Lord Kelvaran tonight,” he added. “I know I will do.”

“Thank you, truly,” she said. “Goodnight, Mister Cardil.”

Kazia carried her books home slowly, lost in thoughts of all Amelys had said to her and all that Mister Cardil had added, all that she had read in the library.

She found Madame Brandra waiting for her at home, to check in on her as she had nightly this week.

“Madame Brandra, have you any more of the tea you gave me last night?” Kazia asked.

“I do, already made and ready for you.”

“Is there perhaps anything in it that would result in very vivid dreams?”

“It's all to relax the body and mind,” Brandra answered. “I suppose if there are things you've been repressing, they may come out in dreams if the tea has done its job. Would you rather not have this one tonight?”

“No, no, I would,” Kazia said. “I do think you may be right that there are thoughts I've denied. It's probably best to face them, I suppose.”

“As long as you're getting enough sleep around it,” Brandra replied.

Kazia drank her tea and readied herself for bed. After Brandra left, she went into her laboratory and took a moment with Kelvaran's battery as she had last night, returning to her apartment fighting tears.

She began to carry her new books into the bedroom, but her bedside table was already overflowing with haphazard stacks, a collection started during her convalescence after the explosion.

She really should return some of them to the library now, but Mister Cardil didn't seem to mind. Anyway, she was trying to do everything just as she had the night before, so she left the books in the sitting room for now and climbed into bed.

Kazia didn't know if methodical logic could be applied to the underworld, but it was worth a try.

 

~~~*~~~