Chapter Twenty-Two
What Have You Done?
Part One
~*~
Late in the evening, Tamyn arrived at Kazia's apartment to be met at the door by Neiphi, who showed him in.
“Thank the Gods you're here,” Neiphi said. “She's been crying in her bedroom for hours.”
“Oh,” Tamyn said hesitantly, “should I return another time?”
“No, no,” Neiphi assured him, “she'll want to see you.”
She showed Tamyn into the sitting room, then went into the bedroom to rouse Kazia, who emerged with a reddened and wet face and immediately threw her arms around him.
“I'm so sorry,” she whispered, her voice rough from the weeping. “Tamyn, I'm so, so sorry.”
Slightly panicked, Tamyn tried to pull away from her, but she held on as if her life depended on it.
“I take it the Off Switch has worn away?” he asked.
She nodded into his chest and began to cry again.
“I don't mind the hug, but I feel like you look, so it must be hurting you,” Tamyn said, worried.
“I deserve it,” Kazia replied plaintively.
“Kazia, you must break this habit of blaming yourself,” he said gently. “I won't condone your foray through the portal, it was rash, but I understand why you did it. Perhaps if you hadn't gone, then this wouldn't have happened - or if the Queen had granted him shelter, or if he'd been willing when I offered to carry him away to Thalesia.”
Kazia turned her face to look up at him, squinting through red and swollen eyes. “You did?”
“I did. He didn't want to leave you.”
“That idiot,” Kazia whimpered, burying her face in Tamyn's chest again.
“Yes,” Tamyn agreed with a bitter laugh. “There's plenty of blame to go around, so calm yourself. We'll get him back.”
Kazia nodded again and pulled away from him, wiping her face with the backs of her hands. Tamyn produced a handkerchief from somewhere within his robes and handed it to her.
“Neiphi,” he inquired, “why don't you bring your Mistress a cup of tea?”
“Aye, aye,” Neiphi answered, honestly glad to have something to do besides watch Kazia cry. “Would you like one as well, Master Ilianus?”
“Please?” he agreed.
Kazia dropped onto the settee and Tamyn relaxed into a wing-back chair. The day had been exhausting.
“Did you meet Mrs. Stelenis?” Kazia asked.
“No,” Tamyn told her. “I was sidetracked looking for Mr. Cardil. He appears to have gone missing.”
“Missing?”
“He should have been at the University but apparently he's been absent these past few days. He was meant to return some texts to the University and hadn't, so I returned to look for him in our library. The staff there haven't seen him in a while either. They're wondering if they should file a report with the Castle Guard.”
“I hope nothing has happened to him,” Kazia said, a bit worried. “He's always so friendly with me.”
“Mistress,” Neiphi said, bringing the tea over, “a few days ago, he left something for you, but told me not to give it to you until your birthday. That's tomorrow, right?”
Kazia looked sharply at Tamyn. “Then he knew he wouldn't be here,“ she said .”And how did he know my birthday?” The worry began to gnaw inside her as a suspicion formed. “Bring it now, Neiphi.”
Neiphi disappeared into the lab and returned with a box beautifully wrapped in colorful paper and tied with ribbons. She handed it to Kazia, who balanced it across her knees and cast a fretful glance at Tamyn as she untied the ribbon, then carefully removed the paper.
Inside the box she found a large, leather-bound volume of Valeskan mythology. It looked quite old, hand-copied in expert calligraphy and richly illustrated in vibrant inks and gold leaf.
“This is... a very valuable book,” Tamyn said, having come closer to peer inside the box as Kazia opened it. There was no small amount of awe in his voice as he praised it.
Kazia picked the book up and began to leaf through the pages, taking extra care, although the book seemed in remarkable shape for something of its apparent age. The pages separated in the book's center, opening to reveal an envelope that had been tucked within, with Kazia's name written on the front.
She handed the book over to Tamyn, who took it gently. She broke the wax seal on the envelope to withdraw the card inside.
Tamyn and Neiphi both watched apprehensively as Kazia scanned what was written there, and her face became pale, her eyes widening as she read. She stood suddenly.
“We need to see Mistress Amelys,” she said harshly, and fled toward the door.
Tamyn and Neiphi exchanged bewildered glances, and Neiphi took off, while Tamyn put the book down as gently as possible before following.
Descending the stairs, they met with Amelys and Brandra on their way up.
“Mistress!” Kazia called out. “The spy was Mr. Cardil!”
Everyone came to a halt as they converged halfway down the stair flight.
“We were just going up to see Master Ilianus on his disappearance,” Amelys said tersely.
Just then, Kelvaran came around the corner from the next floor down and approached the group, standing to one side.
“He has confessed everything here,” Kazia said, waving the note.
Amelys took it from her. “Did you never feel anything amiss when speaking with him?” she asked.
Kazia shook her head. “He says there that he truly thought he was helping me, and has only now realized that he was deceived.”
“That is... a clever way to get a spy past your perception,” Amelys muttered.
“I should have guessed, though,” Kazia said. “I see it now. He always seemed a bit too eager to befriend me – and the sachet for that Walspa spell was in the books he sent while I rested after the explosion.”
Her head already aching from the day's crying, Kazia felt she might suffocate under the gathering outrage of her friends. Leaning against the wall of the stairwell while the note was passed around, though, she slowly became aware of a gentle sense of affectionate concern winding its way to her from Kelvaran.
She glanced at him to find that he was staring at her with an oddly dazed expression, as if he were hypnotized.
She gave him a tiny smile as a warm sensation seemed to wrap around her, comforting her and calming her heart somewhat, at least until an unpleasant thought crossed her mind.
“Oh, no,” she said dismally. “When we spoke, Mr. Cardil would always steer the conversation to my projects, or... to Kelvaran's projects. I didn't tell him anything of substance, did I? I don't think I did. I never thought he would understand details, so I usually... I don't know.”
She took another glimpse at Kelvaran as she felt his contrition, probably at having suspected her before, but she suddenly remembered kissing him in the library and now couldn't help but return his transfixed stare as the memory sent a flash of yearning steaming through her heart.
A similar feeling flowed back to her from Kelvaran, as if he had remembered as well, and she almost took a step toward him.
She caught herself as Amelys spoke again.
“He hid himself very well,” Amelys said. “You won't be blamed for that.”
Kazia tried to bring her attention back to the matter at hand, but found it difficult to pull her gaze away from Kelvaran.
She marveled at his handsome face, his expression soft now as he looked back at her with the same wonderment, and she felt as if she were being drawn into his dark eyes.
Everyone around them seemed to fall away, all of their alarm and anger fading into the background as a not-unpleasant dizziness stole across her.
“He'll have to be found,” Tamyn said with an uncharacteristic venom in his voice.
“I'll report to Intelligence right away,” Amelys answered. “Kazia, keep yourself available for an interview with them.”
Kazia only nodded absently.
“Kazia, are you quite well?” Amelys asked.
“I'm...” she whispered. “I think...”
She didn't want to think just now. She only wanted to lose herself in the blissful euphoria taking her over as Kelvaran's aura wrapped itself around her and seeped through her skin into her heart, filling her with warmth and comfort - with love.
Neiphi had started to cry, lamenting how nice Mr. Cardil had been, and Brandra tried to comfort her, but it was all meaningless to Kazia now.
She felt that if Kelvaran would only put his arms around her, that nothing could be wrong again, that she would find safety there, and peace.
And then she remembered that she had felt this way before.
It had been such a long time ago... when her mother was still alive.
Kazia suddenly grabbed Kelvaran's lapels and pulled at him forcefully.
“Kazia?” several concerned voices came from somewhere very far away.
She didn't know when she had gone over to Kelvaran. She gripped his clothes and pulled at him, staring into his eyes, searching them.
“What have you done?” she demanded.
~~~*~~~
