Chapter Thirty-One

Morning

Part Two

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Through the haze of half-sleep, Tamyn barely registered the gentle clatter of dishes, followed by footsteps across the wooden floor and a lowering of the bed as someone sat next to him. A warm hand spread across his forehead, smoothing his furrowed brow tenderly.

“Zhen,” he sighed.

“I'm sorry, sweetheart, it's only me,” came Didia's voice through the fog.

He tried to open his eyes but they were near plastered shut with the rheum of last night's tears. Without moving, he gazed up at her through the shade of his long lashes.

“How did you know I was here?” he asked despondently. “I portaled right into the room. I didn't want to be a bother.”

“I heard the crying last night,” she said, gently tracing a finger over his forehead and smoothing his hair away from his face.

“Oh, I forgot the barrier,” he replied, his voice lifeless. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I thought it would help, but I think it only made everything worse.”

Fresh tears welled and he raised his hands to wipe them away, clearing the crust of last night away with them.

Didia sighed.

“I hate to see you like this again. Last time...”

“This isn't like last time,” Tamyn said, staring away at the ceiling. “This time it's my fault. I promised him I'd get him out, and I failed him. I'm useless.”

“Come on,” she said, stroking his long hair down his shoulder comfortingly. “You know it's more complicated than that.”

Tamyn nodded absently.

His eyes drifted around the room. Their room.

Back in their University days, Tamyn had taken a long-term rental and although Abrizhen had nominally kept a room in the dorms to allay any suspicion from his father, he'd really lived here with Tamyn. The room hadn't changed since then - the same curtains, the same wallpaper, the same simple furniture.

“I suppose we won't need the room anymore,” he told Didia. “You needn't hold it for us any longer. I won't pop in again.”

“If you're sure,” Didia replied warily. “What if Zhen comes back?”

“Then I'll take him to the castle, or to Thalesia, or to a safehouse – like I should have done in the first place. Gods, how could I be so stupid?”

“Tam...” Didia admonished.

He could tell she was readying a proper scolding about this attitude, until he grasped her hand and hugged it to his own cheek. As her scowl faded to a loving smile, he cast one last glance around the room.

“It was nice being home again...” he whispered. “For a while.”

Didia nodded sympathetically.

“I brought you some coffee,” she said, pointing to the tray on the table, “but I'd love it if you'd stay for breakfast. I suppose I won't be seeing as much of you again.”

The last time Abrizhen left, Tamyn had taken his position with the Queen's Alchemists and then he hadn't left the castle for a year. Anywhere he might have gone in the city would be haunted with memories of Abrizhen. At least the castle had been a new and exciting environment with interesting work to keep him distracted. Finally, Didia had come to visit him in the castle, and was able to draw him back out into the world.

“What time is it? It feels late.” Tamyn sat up and tossed aside the pillow he'd been clutching all night. “I have meetings today, helping the University with... things I probably shouldn't tell you about.”

Didia cast him a suspicious glance.

“Those sorts of things, huh? Are you in a frame of mind for secret and dangerous activities?”

“Probably not,” he admitted, “but they lost too much in that explosion and they can use all the help they can get now. Valesk isn't pausing their activities. But you're right, I do need to pull myself together.”

“Well, it sounds like you're keeping busy at least. You're always better keeping busy.”

“It's not quite the distraction one would wish, though,” he said. “The things Halany is doing to his people... it only makes me worry about Zhen more. If they know that he was trying to leave, what could be happening to him now?”

“They won't kill him, not with his status,” Didia tried to reassure him.

“No, but, you know what his father is like...”

As the tears began to slide freely down his cheeks, Didia pulled him into her arms and brought his head to her shoulder.

“Didia...” Tamyn sobbed, wrapping his arms around her, “I'm afraid. I just hope he's alright. He has to be... if anything happens to him... he just has to be alright.”

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