Karen stood tall on her wall and barks to the army arrayed below her, “Boys and girls, you weren't with us when we won the trade war, so I’m personally going to show you how it’s done. We're going on a training mission to denazify Australia. Kids, you are with me. Kane you're in charge of the rats, y’all gonna shadow us from below.”
She jumps down from the wall and does a superhero landing on all 4’s while the Ratboys; Tyrone and Travis, rush down the stairs to catch up with her. Just then, a wave of mana blows through the dungeon and tremors shake the sewers above them.
The confused kid army looked at one another trying to figure out what was happening and who they were going to fight, until Travis and Tyrone took charge. They shouted orders and started singing their marching song; ♫ “I don’t know what I've been told, but us boys and girls are mighty bold. Left, right, left right, lay o!” ♫ The subverted catholic indoctrination clicked into place with the military conditioning and the kids' eyes glazed over as they began to march and sing along.
As Karen and the Ratboys led the kids through sewer tunnels, she noticed that the rumblings from before seemed to have widened and created a direct path towards the junkyard for her. How considerate of DiBold to accommodate her growing polar bear sized body, she was a growing girl afterall. As they climbed the last set of stairs, a pair of barred gates swung open at the top. The dungeon had even opened the doors for her, like a real gentleman.
Karen- “Travis, Tyrone, you two run on ahead and bribe the city employees working the dump to look the other way. Tell them they will be under new management soon and if all goes well, they will be getting a nice bonus.”
The Ratboys saluted and exited the sewers. They returned 5 minutes later and shouted down from the entrance; “the sanitation employees and the guy operating the bulldozer have all taken an extra long lunch.”
“Good,” said Karen who then followed them out into the light of the midday sun. She squinted and held a paw above her eyes to block out the glaring light. The kids stumbled out into the light behind her. Her pupils adjusted and the world came back into focus. She could see that the Junkyard dogs had not been idle.
Alerted by the tremors and her Ratboy emissaries, the mishmash gang of humans and dogs had taken a defensive position on the largest junk heap in front of the dump’s sewer gates. A chihuahua with a head that was twice the size of its body jumped up and down while barking insults at them. “Te voy a dar una galleta! You Eses better go back to where you came from! Puta madres!”
In response to the taunts, Karen let rip a massive fart that she had been holding in since marching out from Rat City. The kids around her staggered and tried to hold their mouths and noses closed to the smell. She nodded to herself, had she let that one loose in the tunnels she would have gassed her entire army.
The giant headed chihuahua sniffed the air and started gagging. After it recovered, the lopsided dog ran down the trash heap, between Karen’s legs, and jumped up to sniff her butt. “Truce! Timeout! I know that smell! I am your daddy, my name is Argus the Dog. Welcome home daughter.”
A strange set of emotions raged inside of Karen; love, hate, confusion, happiness, and disgust overcame her. To complicate matters, she began to mix her human and doge lives together in her mind, mistaking this chihuahua with her human dad that had abandoned her in a past life. Her rage bar rocketed up and down like the stock market. Karen spun around and attacked.
You have *BITCH SLAPed* Argus the Dog for 100pts of psychological damage.
The lopsided dog went flying through the air and back into the trash pile it ran down from.
Shaking to clear its giant head, Argus ran back up the trash pile to the safety of its gang and said, “I have the high ground daughter, you cannot win.”
By then, the Ratboys and the rest of the kids had recovered from the noxious fumes. Travis shouted, “Karen’s Killer Kids, testudo formation! 1st rank into position and interlock!”
Karen watched in amazing as her KKK rushed to follow orders. The tanker rats riding the shortest of the kids guided them into an orderly line and interlocked their shields into a diamond pattern. The kids held their shields in an alternating escheresque wall design with an up down up down defense that left no gaps.
Travis shouted again, “Second rank into position and interlock!” The tanker rats guided their taller coffin kids into position and held the shields high, following the same shield wall pattern but held above them to cover the 1st rank and themselves.
“Auxiliaries take position!” MAGA hat and headset wearing kids with 5G mice took defensive positions inside the shielded and sandwiched formation. Finally, the 3rd rank was called into position along the rear and sides, finishing the interlocked formation into an impenetrable armored box.
Karen was very proud and impressed with her new kids. From the safety of the rear, she ordered her kids to advance and do battle for her. She shouted at the Chihuahua, “You underestimate my power, father. I don’t even know what mom saw you in you.”
Argus shouted down at her: “Big bitches are into bad boys.”
Bottles, rocks, and garbage of all sorts began to rain down on the advancing children.
