Meanwhile on the surface…
Argus the Dog cut past a line of people in front of him and used his giant head to push open the last door to the Police Chief’s Office. Just as he was about to bark out his report, he witnessed his boss, Bastéon Warmback, having a burnout/meltdown over giant stacks of paperwork on his desk.
The Chief screeched and pushed over the stacked reports, then pointed his raven’s dagger letter opener at Argus. “Every. Single. One! The same fucking story, over and over again! It never ends! This is goddamn bullshit. Agent Argus, you better have some goddamn good news for me.
Argus could see that now was not a good time to be the bearer of bad news. He quickly and quietly backed out of the office, closed the door behind him, and took his place at the back of the line.
Hours and 10 cups of coffee later, Argus was finally waved in by a deskjocky in uniform. He pushed open the door again with this giant chiwawa head and barked, “Wassup ese? Long time no see. If it’s a bad time I can come back later, boss.”
A tired looking Chief Warmback sighed and frowned, “I am so fucking tired of this town. Did you see that line of vics going out the door? Every single one of them bitching about missing family and friends, and we don’t have one godam lead. So let me guess, you got more bad news for me? Out with it you damned dog.”
The dog gang leader wagged his tail and barked, “no missing persons to report, so maybe not so bad eh? You know that gang you had me infiltrate 21 jump street style? Well I went in deep man! Busted my balls and became the top dog in their organization!”
“So why are you here in my office, breaking cover and not telling me what I need to know?”
Argus raised his front paws and waved them back and forth in denial, “Yo ese, it’s not like that. With a little help from family, I managed to dismantle the Junkyard Dogs. Kuput! They are no more! De Nada, no problemo.”
“What the hell do you mean they are gone? Don’t bullshit me, The Dogs are a big gang. And you have a family? That wasn't in your file. So what the hell happened?”
“Heh, about that… turns out I have a daughter. She’s from the bitch I ousted to be top dog. She’s even bigger than her mom. We talking about jumbo jet sized.”
The Chief rubbed his temple. “Let me get this straight, you fucked your way into leadership and then had a kid with the old gang leader out of wedlocked?”
Argus raised his paw in salute, “to protect and serve.” Then winks.
“What happened to your gang boss baby momma?”
“There was a power struggle over leadership. She liked Fosters and I am a Modelo man. No es nadie, nobody going to make me drink that watered down piss beer. So I had her killed in a driveby and left her in a ditch to die.”
Chief Warmback jumped up enraged at what he had just heard. “You crossed the line Agent Argus! Your badge and gun on my table now! I am putting you on administrative leave effective immediately! Fosters is the best fucking beer in the world. You take back what you just said!”
Argus’s ears laid flat against his head at being scolded. “Paid administrative leave?”
The Chief pointed his raven’s dagger at Argus. “Gimme one goddamed good reason not to have you arrested and sent to the pound right now.”
“Yo, I told you ese, I took down the Junkyard Dogs. Well my daughter and her child soldiers did but I get all the credit cuz I made her. All part of my master plan you see.”
The chief’s eyes lit up and he thumbed through the stacks of the missing person reports. He pulled the missing kids reports and folded them open on his desk to the pictures and descriptions of the missing kiddos. “You said she had child soldiers? Describe them to me.”
The descriptions matched and Argus was able to identify several of the missing kids by their pictures on file.
Chief Warmback’s mood flipped like a switch. “Well done Agent Argus! If your intel pans out, this could be our big break. To think one gang was behind all of these missing person cases… no kidnappings. You said they came out of the sewers? Had monstrous rats with them? Hmm… that complicates things.
The sewers were under guild admin. I hate paperwork but I don’t want a turf war with the Adventurer’s Guild.” With a sigh, he slumps back into his plush computer chair, opens a drawer and begins to fill out a juris my diction request form in triplicate.
Two months later Chief Warmback finally had in his hands signed approval for operation Sewer Sweep from the Adventurers Guild and City Hall. Big government had gotten wind of their operation and the bureaucracy, in its self serving wisdom, decided to gum up the operation in an attempt to claim credit.
He was forced to attend several environmental impact studies and endure rants from crazed NIMBYs in endless review, comment, and debate panels. The only thing that came out of it was the snazzy op name.
Because the Pally PD’s jurisdiction was surface law enforcement, he was forced to compromise by adding several adventurer parties to Operation Clean Sweep. The local vegan warlord, Kale Paleman, also managed to attach a party to the raid to ensure the humane slaughter of monsters.
“Fucking finally! What’s this world coming to? Will I need a hunting license to set a mouse trap? Agent Argus! Make 3 copies of this op authorization and run them over to the Adventurer’s Guild and the Vegan Village. We attack at dawn!”
