The vegans formed up on one side in support of Casual Farmer as the adventurers did the same for WinoZ. Insults were hurled back and forth on the viability of turn based combat vs unbalanced parties. The pally Police sensed a brawl brewing between the two factions and formed a riot line separating them as insults escalated to pushing. A few water bottles and a pepsi were thrown and defly caught and drunk by the thirsty police.
Before a full on brawl could begin, everyone stopped as they were interrupted a third time by the loudest and eeriest creaking sound. The sound of rust and iron moving against time resonated in their bones. The massive gate to the sewer dungeon was slowly swinging open.
Chief Bastion Warmback blew his whistle and the pally police marched double time to stand two men deep in a firing line with guns pointed at the slowly opening sewer gates.
Sensing the danger, the Vegans and the Adventurers both set aside their differences and without a word, formed up behind the police firing lines.
Everyone waited with bated breath as the unoiled gate finally shuttered to a stop. From the deep shadows emerged a blind boy with a giant backpack and a rat dressed like a cowboy riding on top of his head. “I have a Sewer Eats delivery for a Mr. SoyBoy, 5 meat lovers with extra croc meat and 5 cheese with extra mushrooms.”
The Chief blew his whistle once more and shouted, “hold fire!”
“Boy! You there! Put your hands up in the air and turn around facing away from me! Good, now walk backwards towards my voice.”
Ratboy Travis was no hardened criminal but like every Australian, he had a few run-ins with the law and knew the routine. Gep the cowboy rat did a 180 in his double diamond braided hair saddle and began backing Travis up towards the popo.
“Okay, now slowly, take off your giant backpack and put it on the ground.”
“Agent Argus, search the pack.”
The Chihuahua barked an affirmative and opened the backpack, biting the pizza box corners and dragging them out one at a time with his teeth. “These smell hella good homes. We should confiscate them as evidence and eat them.”
Tofu Soyboy pushes his way to the front waiving his phone, “those are mine! I ordered them, look here, I have an online receipt with proof of purchase!”
Warmback grabbed the phone from Soyboy and looked at the phone, opened to a strange app. “What the devil is this?”
Tofu explained, “I got free delivery through Sewer Eats, a wholly owned subsidiary of the CoCop Corporation, not to be confused with Ub3r E@ts, the corrupt criminal organization that gets your order wrong, steals your food, and charges you double.”
Argus unabashedly already had a slice of the meat lovers in his mouth and the Chief was flipping open boxes to examine the contents. Looking embarrassed, Warmback offered a compromise, “in the spirit of cooperation and lunch, we will only confiscate the meat pizzas for… testing. I will generously remand these cheese and mushroom pies to your custody.”
Knowing how the Australian police operated, Tofu the vegan had intentionally ordered the meat lovers as a bribe.
Guildmaster Edwin and the rest of the Adventurers looked on in hunger as the Police and Vegans ate. “Hey, cheese isn't vegan! You should give those pies to us!”
Kale laughs, “Nice try adventurers, but I can tell from the lack of flavor that this is vegan cheese made from soy.”
Travis- “Can I put my hands down and go now? I got other orders to deliver you know.”
The police all had their mouths full of pizza, so Argus just kicked the empty backpack back towards Travis. The popo chewed the crunchy crust in bliss and forgot that the entire reason for them being there was to investigate the missing children.
Edwin- “Wait! Is that you Travis? What happened to you, Tyrone, and Qi? And more importantly, how do we order some of that pizza? Look at those pigs and birds eat while we starve, so unfair.”
“Just order through your phone, it’s under the CoCop family of apps, next to TweeterXXX and TicsTok. But it would be faster for you to just go buy the pies yourself, so you don’t have to wait for me to haul them back up here. I can show you the restaurant, follow me.”
Edwin- “Hold your horses young man, there is a dungeon down there. It is not safe.”
“Oh, the dungeon was conquered and tamed months ago. See this guy? He’s used to be a dungeon monster but now he’s my tamed pet rat.” Travis reaches up and scratches Gep under his chin.
The annoyed rat cowboy takes his hat off and whacks it at the offending fingers.
There were not enough pizza slices and many cops and vegans had to share, something they were unfamiliar and unhappy about. Everyone was hungry for more pizza so they clapped Travis on the back for a job well done and pushed him back down into the sewers to guide them to more pizza.
