The Troubled Memories 1

Karl went back to his hotel room after he thanked the brother who took him to the front of the hotel.

He took a shower. Then jumped into his bed without much thought.

It didn’t take time for him to sleep. 

Then he was somewhere. His memories were a mess. He couldn’t remember the accident. He couldn’t remember the time the Doctor saved him from that mountain. To Karl it was like strips of film passing by.

He was sitting on this bench holding a warm mug. He was staring lifelessly at the snow-covered grassland. He saw spotted deers watching from the side. His father took him on one of their trips.

Dr. Kaden Von Alden and Isidor Burkhan. They were pointing their fingers at the refugees coming from the western side who traveled by boat. Karl couldn’t understand them easily. They spoke technical words that a child like him didn’t know.

Dr. Kaden, his foster father, and his blood-brother Isidor Burkhan were busy people. They wore thick closed overcoats. Behind them was a caravan pulled by horses and automobiles.

Dr. Kaden welcomed the refugees while Isidor chatted with the elders. The rest of the company started gathering the women, elderly, and kids to where the campfire was blazing and gave them warm cups of coffee.

The Verloren Einsen was more of a charity company. A gathering of ‘lost ones’ who have gathered to form a collective of ‘helpers’. Karl didn’t understand the ideal. How his father, and his father’s friends were so eager to help.

“Boy?”

Father Kaden called. He walked to Karl and warmed his cheeks.

“Is he alright?”

“He is. Good thing she found him fast enough.”

“He doesn’t usually do this. He’s a smart and strong kid.”

“But he’s still a brat,” Father Kaden ruffled his hair. 

Karl was young back then. His cheeks reddened because of the cold. His eyes were bluish green.

“There is still no light in the eyes of this boy.”

“What did you expect?”

Karl tilted his head. Father Kaden and Uncle Isidor walked together. Karl remained alone and seated in his seat while the rest gathered in the warmth of the fire. It was snowing and Karl didn't know where he was during this time.

Karl looked at his younger self. He was staring a thousand yards away. His younger self stared at the distance before walking stiffly. He placed his cup gently. His legs carried him to the icy river waters. He was about to take a step into the bank when a young girl who was his age demanded for him to stop.

“Stop! What are you doing, silly?”

The little girl has clear amber eyes. She wore a thick fur-lined coat and was wrapped like a bedroll. She looked silly.

Karl blinked. He tilted his head. He was about to continue when the little girl stopped him.

“You listen to this heiress!” said the little girl. “This heiress does not tolerate such unruly behavior,” she pointed a finger at him. “Wait, hey,  you’re that silly boy who climbed that mountain!”

She grabbed Karl by the wrist. “Come on! I’ll tell the Doctors that you are acting silly again! Come on, if you don’t follow then don’t blame this heiress for being forceful!”

Karl obeyed after being led on. She did take him back and she told them what he wanted to do. Because of this they took him inside one of the wagons. It was a wagon with cots in them. 

The girl sat in front of him. She folded her tiny arms and eyed him. Her curiosity was somewhat irritating to his younger self.

“Why are you sad?”

His younger self stared at the floor. The little girl stood up. She struck Karl on the head. He looked at her for a second before knocking her head as well. The little girl stared at him silly. She didn’t cry. She didn’t bawl her eyes out. She retaliated and smacked him silly again.

By the time the folks noticed. The two were rolling around trying to pull hair and cheeks. The scholars of the company separated them. The two refused to cry or apologize. Father Kaden stayed with them and was quite worried about them.

“Karl, why did you hit her?”

“He started it.”

He said quietly. The little girl was rather ashamed. She however didn’t want to lose out.

“But he’s rude! She should answer this heiress! I only want to speak to him!”

Kaden kindly looked at Karl. “Karl, you heard her. Now, tell me, why did you want to go to the river?”

“Something was calling me.”

Karl didn’t know why. Even now he couldn’t remember why he thought someone was calling him.

“Were the other voices… in your head still talking? What do they say?”

Karl saw his younger self shake his head. He was trying hard to figure it out. But Karl could recall that there were two loud voices in his head that made him want to scream. Karl simply thought back then that he wanted to be under the water where those voices were drowned.

 His father had always given him prescribed medicine. Those medicines would numb his mind and peace. If he didn’t take those medicines back then, Karl would have somehow found a way to drown out the noises.

When the little girl heard that. Her angry face somewhat softened. She pulled on Father Kaden’s sleeve and told him that he wanted to take care of him. Karl thought nothing about it and said nothing.

Father Kaden could obviously see through the plans of the little girl. Nonetheless he allowed it. Karl didn’t react. He went back to quiet trance. It was during morning when the little girl took Karl around. She would order him around. She was so loud that it made Karl irritated.

He didn’t understand why. He was clueless why the little girl was with them. It was only much later that Karl had heard that her parents were asking his father and Isidor to help. And since they were staying in this encampment, the little girl, and her parents would have to visit them.

He truly was clueless. But Karl could recall that the company couldn’t refuse them. The little girl’s parents, from what Karl could remember, were rather supportive of the efforts of the company. Whether it was for the benefits they were receiving or for the people. Even his younger self could recognize how rich they were. It was because of this that Karl was sure that he was being treated like a servant.

Still, the little girl made the voices go away. Karl realized that and had followed her. They were the same age, but the little girl was always so eager. She explored the snowy grassland. And then dragged Karl out to watch the ice melt and the ponds unfreeze. Karl could not remember much of her. He only recalled that she was quite annoying and hard to deal with. She was quite foolish as well since she forgot to take revenge. But Karl also knew that she was the only child in the camp that was willing to talk to him. Even the refugees who were with the camp wouldn’t talk to Karl’s younger self because he was deemed as a crazy child. There was also a problem with the language that they didn’t speak. It was hard to communicate and understand the intentions and the younger kids would rather avoid Karl and the little girl because they couldn’t talk either way.

Karl however had fun. Despite his young self being somewhat plagued by these voices. Karl was sure that because the little girl was around to annoy him that the voices were tamed. Karl didn’t understand the voices. And his father who would speak to him before and after sleep would chat with him in regards to what the voices were saying. Karl would tell his father about them.

About the Soldier and the Wandering Knight.

His father had always said that he had a vivid imagination. And yet he also knew that there was something more that he wanted to talk about. He spoke about them, but then would forget them once in a while.

Karl had thought that the accident when his father first found him must have banged his head pretty badly and caused him to have a mental illness. Whether the voices were real or not. His foster father never stopped taking care of him.

Perhaps it was also because of a playmate that Karl’s younger self found some hint of peace. The voices grew quieter. But nonetheless Karl knew that they weren’t gone, just merely keeping quiet so that the little boy could have his fun. It felt like there were three thoughts in his head. Once was old, the other was slightly younger, while the last voice was Karl himself trying his best to keep a hold of his own head.