the school cafeteria was painfully noisy at this time as most student have finished their studying and some part of the test. its called rush hour as a lot happens in this interval.   Xiaojun and Yukhei had ordered their food and Yukhei decided they eat in the cafeteria because the wifi is great. in the thirty minutes that they have been here, Yukhei has been surfing effortlessly.

 

" why are you so quiet", he asked Dejung while he was busy typing on his phone probably on the school or class chat gossiping than studying.  he is tremendously interested in that stuff, there is always something going on. always something juicy but as of recently only one person has been making the bulletins .

 

" Dejung, I am talking to you, why are you so quiet?", He repeated his statement only a little more persistent this time . nonetheless he kept his eyes stuck on the screen of his phone.

 

" Do you want me to talk while I eat?",

 

" You call that eating?", the food had gone cold as he had been just playing with it.. He had literally never even opened his mouth ever since they sat down and he has been peeling off the crust from the sandwich using a tooth pick.

 

Dejung scoffed at him and he tried to ignore him again but Yukhei just called him again.

 

This time he raised his eyes to look at Yukhei.

 

" Okay ,tell me what is on your mind?", He placed down the phone and he crossed his arms over the desk like a therapist. Its one of the really cool things that he enjoyed doing for Doyoung whenever he was stressing especially about missions. of course Doyoung would just divert the topic away. discretion is a priority in order to retain survival in the gamble that Doyoung is involved in.

 

" Is tryptophan poisoning possible?",

 

Yukhei responded yes even though he doesn't know what tryptophan is . however he can sort of pick up what Dejung is trying to say. he wants to now if it`s possible that something that shouldn't be daunting can be so  problematic.

 

" Then what is the solution?", Dejung knows that he doesn't know and its going to be slightly entertaining to hear Yukhei embarrass himself.

 

" Poisoning means three things. Overdose, taking a contracted solution or taking an enzyme. Either way it induces a foreign or unpleasant reaction. The antidote is to counteract the effects of the stuff, then try to rid it from your body ", he spoke beating around the bush. 

 

" If you feel stuck, redo what you did and figure out how you got stuck and avoid it.", he clarified confidently using a line he had said more than ten times to doyoung everytime he contemplated telling jung everything but dint know where to start. this time again Doyoung just redirected the topic.

 

" Did you girlfriend break your heart or you broke her? Didn't I tell you to not date?", He asked and Dejun stopped staring. 

" That's none of your business ",

" So it IS a matter of l-o-ve? Just say sorry. Damsels don't like apologizing. She could be wrong and argue,just apologize that you didn't see her perspective. It's easier that way. Buy her Flowers or something but make sure you say the word sorry.", He spoke confidently

 

" You jump to conclusions ",Xiaojun argued 

 

" Yeah but dudes are easier", Yukhei continued

 

" Don't use that word",

 

" If you wrong a dude, all they need to know is that the argument was just heat of the moment. You didn't mean anything. But say sorry and buy..", he paused and stared to the ceiling thinking of what to say

 

' buy what!!!', he stared at him. his dilemma could get solved

 

" Whatever reminds you of them .", he answered and he smiled at his sense of accomplishment.

 

Worst advice ever!

 

xiaojun went back to peeling the bread crust from the sandwich. now he genuinely doesn't have appetite for this .

 

" I would buy Lisa  shoes and you a pillow or comfortable chair. You should buy me a jacket", he bothered him. he started to bring up the fact that Xiaojun never wants to hang out with Yukhei when he is having his birthday. he added the concept that Xiaojun should be his mental support, his mentor, his hero, his everything.. 

 

" Stop talking!", Xiaojun was becoming irritated. 

 

"why should i? am i lying? you should be more sensitive, supportive and caring like me.  By the way how is your forehead red?", He asked Dejun but he stood up and said that Yukhei is too noisy. 

 

 he stuffed the food in his bag and left only the mutilated bread. everything he will eat later even though his mom `s cooking tastes better, he shouldn't waste food. the journey now is to head back to the study room near the faculty of biological science,  one of the school s quietest places to study that ,at any time of the day there will without fail always be someone asleep there from fatigue.

 

however the real reason he was leaving early was because Yukhei was infuriating him , he almost solved his conflict but he just highlighted it. And now he is being nose-y.  the last thing he would want is Yukhei throwing a tantrum of the phone thing. obviously he is going to blame Eunwoo but moreover he is going to demand to know why he was attacked, why Dejun was near Eunwoo? He doesn't even come to Yukhei s birthday parties and he stood in front of a flying phone for Eunwoo, the person who last was checked had been verified to be on the worst side on Xiaojun s list of people he has met.

 

'Apologize! I feel guilty and it sucks to admit it but apologizing is too...too.. and to him .. imagine me saying sorry to ...'

 

"no!", he closed his lips as the word slipped out of his mouth. he shook his head a bit and felt seriously lightheaded. Overthinking and dilemma does that to him.

 

'I do feel bad but I probably won't feel better unless I ...argh ..I will just buy him a cat...but a gift is too much ', he had a conflict of interest.

 

some apologies demand a gift or some form of explanation , both of which are just worse than coming to school bald for Xiaojun. Dejun literally just told Eunwoo that they are not friends and the next thing he wants to apologize and brings a gift too. that is definitely not what some who is not-friends would do. If it were his mother or baby cousin, he would have certainly bought the gift and apologized just like Yukhei said but this is EUNWOO. President of stuck-up, author of no-go-zone, creator of show-off and coach of annoying and irritating. If he went there and Eunwoo starts acting like he owns the world, Xiaojun might break his face with the cat. 

 

" Is there a problem?", Taehyung asked as Dejun froze next to his table. he doesn't even know when and why he got there nor how long he had been standing there. He walked away from him without saying anything.

 

he passed by a group of students. and as expected they were talking about the 'notorious' Cha Eunwoo. one could see that the respect, admiration and envy that they used to have when they uttered his name faded to the root. They used to shudder even stating his name but now they yell like they are in an auction and the more audience they get the better.

 

" this is boring. our timeline is filled with one person but all of the things they have on him  , it`s really interesting.  someone made a comment and people begun overreacting. they said the reason Eunwoo was found crying by the museum today is because he felt guilty of the rumors. they have apparently found a witness to the video and the witness  says that on that day,  Eunwoo was fighting TZUYU S EX",

 

" stop lying...", the other one argued and the other said it was not a lie. rumor has it they will reveal his identity in less than three days as they are trying to verify somethings.

 

" i am dead serious .  it seems this came in yesterday but they are afraid to reveal the name of the witness since the think that Eunwoo s family might try to silence him. but if they find the ex, he is surely going to testify and the rich kid is for a fact going to jail.." 

 

" who told you that?", the second female asked the narrating female

 

" Don't you read the tabloids? it's getting on social media and after the find the kid, it will be all over the internet. and i also heard that there is an investigation going in the school servers as they might have an idea who posted the video. guess what? it was posted by a network server here meaning that someone in the school has the whole movie... gosh i have goosebumps"

 

" do you think that Eunwoo will go to jail because of some rumor. that kid has got platinum lawyers", the male protested

 

" pfft... platinum my foot. the board , journalists and investigators are going to meet him tomorrow and they are seriously going to question him . even if he hires the president to talk for him, if they have evidence , the ex , no alibi and everything else, it`s goodbye Eunwoo. i would hate to be related to him right now..  ",

 

*****

There is a restaurant that this closer to the school , about the same one that Bogum and Jung always dine at. it`s ran by a very cheerful and open-spirited male. everyone calls him Nunbit but his real name is Moonbin. at this present moment there were not a lot of people but there were going to start coming after work hours, a time by which those who wan to avoid the crowd should get gone.

 

" someone is light years away", Taeyang told Eunwoo but eunwoo showed no sign of paying attention so Taeyang took a pen and he tapped him on the forehead. 

 

eunwoo only reacted by elevating his eyes. he was wearing Taeyang s black hoodie as he has not mastered up the confidence to walk around with the souvenir shirt.  plus the hoddie covered his really awful looking face , was pale , scaly , dry , bluish and dehydrated looking, sort of doozy, zombied and syndromic . he had slumped on the chair and represented only one percent of life in him compared to his colleague directly opposite who was the definition of vibrant

 

" why are you so distant? was the test really that exhausting?",  he asked him as he was typing a proposal on his computer. he majors in commerce.

" i am just tired", he smiled hurtfully . one could swear his lips must have started to crack and peel off relative to the rate his voice sounds so raspy. its like he has been pegged to a turbine and he was then dragged face first on the desert floor all the way back to Sejun, after which he swallowed rusted chainsaw.

 

" you literally haven't even touched your food. eat something , you will feel better. " he speculated and eunwoo agreed. not because he has the desire to but because he doesn't want to keep being advised about food.

 

" how are you feeling?". that was applaudably the most dumbest thing that he could ask someone in Eunwoo s shoes

 

' try miserable , pathetic, weak, beat, worn-out, trampled, tired, used, manipulated. my girlfriend hates me, my friends use me, my other friend doesn't support me, my mom is too busy, my dad is too far, my chauffeur is gossipy, i broke my phone, my body is sticky , i smell bad and i am having a migraine', if there was someone he could actually tell these things without judgement and with full faith that they are listening to hear him out

 

" i just need to sleep ( and never wake up)", he cut his story short.

 

" this is the longest fifty minutes i have spent with you. you are silent and you are having a propaganda inside your head. when i ask your condition , you apparently need sleep. "  he summarized and Eunwoo said yes.

 

"please let`s talk about something, just anything. how about your day? aside from the typical, what was the one thing that happened today that was interesting?",

 

" i had anatomy and ..", Taeyang interrupted him and he told him to start from the time he woke up. eunwoo asked if he really has to and Taeyang argued that it is therapeutic.

 

" i got up and had a cold shower. i couldn't find my black socks so i wore a different colour. i put on my uniform while my hair was wet and dried in instead of eating breakfast. i got on the car and the weather forecast was boring so i didn't listen. the car stopped at school and i got off . the vehicle  drove away to go and take mom to work. i walked into the school and i saw some people. i saw Euisoo and..."

 

" what ?", he asked inquisitively

 

'I JUST DON'T CARE, I DESPISE YOU', he remembered his voice, his anger, his fate. how he said it , what he meant, why he said but mostly he recalled how much it hurt and how it still aches. just thinking about it makes Eunwoo want to hide inside the hoodie. He is not denying that Xiaojun hates him but he didnt want to hear that confession especially not when he is brittle or fragile like a boiled leaf. The human that was humane enough to be humane when all the other humans became scavengers was never any different but probable truth that nothing on Eunwoo s mundane wants to believe , really crushes much more than Gichan s lies , stabs more than ChanYi s manipulation, numbs than Takuya s abandonment , suffocates as much as Tzuyu s tears, or maybe just a little more than that. the bottom-line is that the small voluminous words that parted from Xiaojun torment , torture , electrocute , asphyxiate , paralyze, defunctions and contaminates  all of Eunwoo s sense of living. What`s worse is he can`t compute a fool-proof way  to move on from that .

 

" i think it's his friend", he told him quickly and said that his story ends there as he just headed to class afterwards.

 

" you dint talk to anyone?", 

 

" aside from the typical...". he quoted him back and Taeyang laughed and told Eunwoo to eat since he has even bothered moving his hands at all