Psycholor

Back to Nikita now. Same as with the other side, I've not written a recap for events, but tried to work stuff into the chapter organically. This storyline is a lot fresher though, so it shouldn't suffer from forgotten details as much as Stahlia's side.

As a general thing, though, these events occurred a couple of years prior to the Stahlia pov. Stahlia would have only recently recovered Rosial, her sister, at this point in the timeline.

As Nikita's basic backstory progresses, I'm planning to phase out the frequency of alternating perspectives by the time Stahlia and her meet in the present.

Nikita, 17 Years Old, 4th Month of 948

The atmosphere in the main hall was awkward in the extreme. I had my dream where her holiness, the Goddess Antenora, appointed me her new champion. Afterward, our shrine’s head, Father Shivash, declared me a saint and made plans for my departure to the capital and the main shrine therein. It was a harrowing future, made only slightly less daunting by the knowledge that my den (Sisters Aashva, Uma, and Meera) would be joining.

From my seat up at the head of the table, I had an unobstructed view of the celebration. At my right hand, Father Shivansh was doing his best not to appear smug. But he was failing; even he could not prevent his tails from moving ever so slightly. In comparison, I was doing much better. My tails were both standing at attention and hardly moving at all. But that wasn’t because I had better control. No, that was because the pressure of having all eyes on me was making it impossible to think straight.

Even the venerated mothers are acting like I’m so much more now… Hells! I was just a mere apprentice the other day…

If it wasn’t for Uma and Meera not minding anything despite being at the head table with me, I might have started shaking. And what a display from the newly anointed champion of the goddess that would be! Indeed, Uma, Meera, and Aashva were seated at the head of the table with me. The announcement of my position had been made alongside the proclamation of the feast.

Alongside that proclamation had been another: that I would be going with my den to the capital city for more specialized training. According to Father Shivansh, I would need attendants now that I was the newly appointed Champion of Winter. That had been the set of strings he pulled to allow my sister and junior sisters to accompany me.

Father Aashva stood and tapped his wine glass to draw everyone’s attention. For a blessed moment, those assembled focused away from me and instead looked to the source of that chime. Then he turned them back my way.

“Friends, under the watchful eye of the gods, we have once again found our people favored! One of our own, from this very shrine, has heard the words… Nay! She has met one of the divine in a vision! Nikita the Apprentice has been tasked with saving our people from the demons.”

The words thus spoken caused all the attention to shift back to me. I tentatively raised a hand, which garnered a wave of murmured conversation through the crowd. Behind me, one of my tails twitched.

What’s this…?

The collective stares and furtive whispers, which had been uncomfortable a moment ago, now began to feel… Well, not good. But it was warmer, more welcoming. My ears perked up, and my stomach began to settle down. I smiled, and the conversation grew more fervid. People were looking up to me now. People who used to be my friends and colleagues within the shrine, now I was an emissary of one of the gods we’d all served.

I glanced at Father Shivansh, trying to determine if I should act now. Before we entered the hall, he’d mentioned me saying a few words. For many of these former brothers and sisters of mine, this would be the last time we saw each other. Ours was not the largest of shrines, but it was big enough that, combined with me leaving tomorrow, most would not have the opportunity to wish a personal farewell.

Or at least not an intimate one. There would be time to mingle during the feast after everyone had eaten a bit. Father Shivansh’s words faded into the background and I began to focus more on each individual. I knew all of them. But some of them were closer to me than others.

Sisters Mina and Shashi. They were to Aashva and me what we were to Uma and Meera. They had been directly responsible for raising us for three years before graduating from the den. Now, both of them were looking up at me with something like reverence.

Father Lal. He had been the one who first taught me the names of the gods and goddesses, what they looked like and what aspects each one embodied. It wouldn’t be incorrect to state that I wouldn’t have realized who Antenora was without him.

No, someone else would have had that role instead.

The role of teacher, that is. With my new title, I could probably get away with giving him an order if I wanted.

Then there was Mother Chaya. She was one of the oldest members of our shrine; her own tail’s fur was a silver whiter than my own. Though the wrinkles around her eyes were enough evidence that her own was from age and not a divine encounter. Something about those wrinkles drew my attention and y eyes lingered on her. it took a moment before I realized. Unlike the rest, her stare wasn’t filled with wonder or amazement. Instead, her eyes held pity? Contempt? Sadness perhaps? She wasn’t looking over these events with joy in her heart; that much was certain.

If it was just for me that was fair. Father Shivansh had told me about the Winter Champion’s curse in broad strokes. Nothing concrete. No details, but I knew my fate wouldn’t be the most kind. But… I wasn’t close with Mother Chaya. Of course, I knew who she was but we didn’t interact much. Me, a senior apprentice with my lessons and den, her; a senior mother in charge of the archives.

Then, she probably knows about the hidden lore Father Shivansh told me. Maybe she knows more than him.

It would be smart for me to try to speak with her if my limited time allowed. At the very least, I should tell her that I was content and did not harbor ill-will to the goddess for granting me this burden. Rather, that I considered it a blessing. Even if I was only the runner-up…

Really, what kind of Champion goes so far as killing themselves to get out of the role?

Those dark thoughts put a damper on my previous mood. Whether that mood had itself been a good one was up in the air, but it certainly wasn’t now. However, chewing on the idea of this mystery woman did take my mind off the atmosphere of wonder, so… Good thing. Probably. At the very least, I had been told in no uncertain terms to investigate my predecessor and mete out divine justice. That meant that she was, somehow, alive.

Somewhere else, Father Shivansh finished his speech about me. I only realized when my side received a sharp jab and Sister Aashva quietly hissed, “Stop daydreaming!”

Looking up, my eyes met with Father Shivansh’s. He was grinning down at me, though his smile did not entirely extend into his eyes. I swallowed nervously and stood as we had rehearsed. Looking out over the room, my ears realized the silence as everyone’s attention fixated back to my own small face. Behind me, two tails flicked around excitedly, and their silver fur poofed out as an unconscious warning, an attempt to make the body attached to them look bigger. If only I had been born to one of the cat tribes, at least then it would only look like I was excited and not terrified.

Then again, they would probably be standing straight up in that case, and I would still look scared…

 Fortunately, Father Shivansh had only said that I could say a few words if I wanted. He hadn’t said anything indicating I was expected to. That was a small mercy now, as I smiled nervously. My mouth was dry, so very dry… And… A calm washed over me, and suddenly the world seemed so much smaller. Like I was viewing it from some distant place.

My body felt cold, but there was comfort in that, like I was back in the presence of the Goddess. The feeling washed over me and brought clarity to my mind. My tails were not dissuaded, but that no longer bothered me. In time, I would be able to master myself.

I bowed my head towards Father Shivansh, then sat down again. I wasn’t expected to say anything here, and most of these people I would never see again, so there was little reason to put in the extra effort. Shavansh seemed to have frozen himself because it took a moment before he had recovered enough to speak.

“R-right, then, let us partake in the blessings the gods have allowed.” With Shivansh’s final words spoken, everyone began digging into the food and drink.

The chill that had come over me collected and narrowed at a point on my arm whereupon it began to warm, “Nikita, what was that?”

Aashva was grasping my arm at the point of warmth, her eyes filled with concern and… fear. The heat from her hand then spread out across the rest of my body and a range of twisting emotions assailed me, fogging my mind.

“...I don’t know… It was, it was like all of a sudden, nothing mattered anymore. No… That’s not quite right. It was like, like… I don’t know.”

Worried that everyone else had perceived whatever came over me, I shot a furtive look over the crowd at large. Most of them were now preoccupied with eating, either not having noticed, or not caring when there was food in front of them. Only one person really seemed to even care about me anymore. My eyes met those of Mother Chaya. Her wrinkles creased as she half closed her eyelids. A shiver wracked her body, and she looked away, staring off into space.

Before tonight, I hadn’t really paid her much attention, but it was increasingly clear that I would be making the time to visit her no matter what. Something told me that I would deeply regret not doing so.