As the crazed, lovesick eyes bore into his and as the pain blossomed in his chest, Lin JunYi felt a strange sense of both wonder and regret.

Is this what someone in love looks like? He thought as his vision bled slowly black. If I could have felt that way about someone… then it would have been pretty good.

Lin JunYi was the son of an electronics baron and an A-list actress and had been brought up surrounded by wealth and luxury. Not only that, he was also an adorable baby that grew up to a beautiful and graceful youth. Since he started school, the words “genius” and “prodigy” have been applied to him. No matter what he attempted, he could excel.

In fact Lin JunYi’s biggest shortcoming was his fickleness. If something came to you too easily and fell into your lap nicely wrapped and bowed, would you value it? He, who could do anything he wanted, took up and abandoned interests wantonly, never pursuing any skill to true mastery before getting bored and abandoning it. 

As he grew older, he began to do the same thing with his lovers. Initially he would enjoy the thrill of the chase just as he enjoyed the initial thrill of learning something new, but soon these people would fall in love with him and they would become boring and predictable.

Now nineteen, Lin JunYi had recently been commended for his first role as the third male lead in a historical movie. As the son of the movie empress Mu YuLian, when he had been cast in the highly anticipated adaptation of a top selling novel, there had inevitably been rumors of bribery and nepotism. There were many fans of the movie who directly rebelled, not wanting their beloved character to be ruined by such a green and inexperienced actor.

But as soon as that beautiful and elegant youth appeared on the screen; his magnetic phoenix eyes sweeping over the crowd of soldiers, exuding an unmistakable lofty sense of royalty, and he lowly intoned his first words of the script to “kill them all”, people everywhere to immediately hooked!

Soon the reviews poured in; that the son of Mu YuLian had even more natural charm than her! His beauty and his talent was incomparable. He fully embodied the role and even pushed down the male lead in terms of charisma!

In Lin JunYi’s second acting role, he was directly given the role of the second male lead. But already the shine was fading from the paint and he found himself bored as he looked over the sea of adoring and expectant faces in the crew.

The truth was Lin JunYi greatly loved the feeling of having to fight for something. When no one thought he would do well in the movie and stared at him with disparaging glances, he really enjoyed it. Just thinking about the moment they would be shocked by him, and would eat their words and actions, the thoughts filled him with feelings of pleasure and glee.

But so quickly such pleasure was already fading. Lin JunYi sighed listlessly as he stared down at his script. He could do deliberately poorly of course to lower their expectations but that was against his principal. If he was good at something he didn’t think he ought to hide it. 

Why can’t the world and other people just be a bit more… challenging?

It was as though he was playing life on “easy” mode. Where was the option to switch it to “hard”? Just like a gamer that was too proficient, the game could be much more enjoyable at a more challenging level.

After a day of filming, Lin JunYi’s manager sent him back to the hotel. 

“JunYi, I’ve been meaning to tell you, we got another one of those black envelopes.”

Lin JunYi who was sitting listlessly at the back of the luxury Porsche only slightly opened his phoenix eyes. Underneath the left eye there was a small, teardrop shaped beauty mark. “What did it say this time?”

“Just the usual things about being in love with you. But the strange thing is this time it was delivered personally to your home mailbox. Since we’ve had the post office screen your mail and directly take such envelopes to the police. Your address is a closely guarded secret so  this makes me think that perhaps we have underestimated the stalker. Can you think of who it might be? Someone that knows your home address?”

There was a flicker in Lin JunYi’s dark eyes. He thought he probably did know. But out loud he said, “No.”

The manager didn’t have any more information and only helped Lin JunYi back to the hotel room and told him to have a good rest as filming would start early the next day.

Sighing, Lin JunYi took a shower. When he came out he saw ten missing calls from an unknown number. This wasn’t unusual. Although this was his personal phone number, he'd given it to some of his previous lovers before. Once he got bored of them he would blacklist their numbers and inevitably some of them would try to switch phone numbers in an effort to get him to pick up the call.

He ignored the calls and instead picked up the hotel phone and called for a room service meal. Around half an hour later there was a ring on the doorbell and a voice said, “Room service”.

Wearing only his bathrobe, Lin JunYi answered the door. When he saw the man standing there, without any sign of a food trolley, his eyes showed signs of surprise but very quickly it was suppressed.

After all, Lin JunYi had an excellent memory. He had many lovers and although none of them had meant much to him, it wasn’t as though he would simply forget their faces. And besides most of them had eye-catching appearances that made them stand out from the crowd.

“What are you doing here?”

The calmness in the dark phoenix eyes further incensed the man’s boiling anger. Even seeing the small beauty mark, which had always stirred his lust crazily, now filled him with fury. “So you still remember me? Do you remember the heartless way you broke up with me?!”

Lin JunYi recalled it. To him it wasn’t anything special. This man was named He Jian and he was one of his mother’s bodyguards as well as her assistant. He had often visited the her home when the then seventeen year old Lin JunYi was still living there. 

Lin JunYi was okay with both men and women but if he was being honest then he probably preferred men. He was especially attracted to very tall men with good bodies and it would be even better if they had a cold demeanor that made them seem challenging to approach. Since He Jian fulfilled this description, he had of course piqued his interest. Particularly because he knew his equally promiscuous divorcee mother was interested in him and had tried to seduce him unsuccessfully.

To the world He Jian gave the image of an unshakeable professionalism, as though he only had his duty and his job in his mind. This made the young Lin JunYi amused and he had embarked upon a short campaign to seduce He Jian, culminating in when the bodyguard finally lost control when he saw the barely clothed young teenager lying on the couch one afternoon and the two quickly became embroiled in a torrid relationship.

It was fun at first but Lin JunYi quickly realized that the man’s icy veneer was just that: a front. Underneath it he was clingy and needy. When he sensed the boy’s interest was waning he began to use his professional skills to stalk and monitor him. After that, Lin JunYi broke up with him decisively. He Jian couldn’t accept it and even broke into his home to place a dead cat in his bed. After that he began making blog posts about Lin JunYi, accusing him of various sexual perversions.  Although his management company suppressed it, Lin JunYi was annoyed. So he decided to tell his mother about the relationship. Furious and humiliated, Mu YuLian fired him and used her superior position in life to crush his life and career.

“Not only did I lose my job and became blacklisted in the industry but your mother had people threaten my family back in my regional town!” The current He Jian yelled at Jun Yi. “My family’s business was forced to close. My father was so humiliated and angry that he started to abuse alcohol and now he is dying in the hospital!”

Lin JunYi sighed. He hadn’t known about this but at the same time, he didn’t feel like it was all his fault. Once a motion was set off, there would be all sorts of unexpected chain reactions. Besides he always broke up with his lovers clearly and so since He Jian continued to pursue him so shamelessly wasn’t he the instigator of his own tragedy? Why did everyone always want to lay the blame on the feet of other people?

“I am sorry about your father,” Lin JunYi said calmly. “I’ll tell mother to stop. If you want it I can provide you with monetary compensation for the business. Perhaps that will help ease your father’s suffering. But the disclaimer is that once you receive the money you must stop contacting me and following me.”

Someone in a calm state of mind might have been amenable to such an agreement but He Jian was nowhere near calm. “Money!” He raged. “I don’t want your money! I want you to… kneel before me! I want you to look only at me. I want you to belong to me! Lin JunYi, I want to lock you up and…”

Since he was descending into hysterics, Lin JunYi didn’t see the point of continuing this conversation any longer. He had already pressed an emergency button in the phone in his pocket at the point of recognizing the intruder and by now his manager must be hurrying back with security. He merely took a step back and tried to close the hotel door.

But suddenly He Jian reached into his pocket and pulled out a gun. Lin JunYi froze immediately. “You’re a demon!” He Jian said miserably. “But if I can be with you, I don’t even care if I go to hell.  Lin JunYi, if you can’t belong to me, then you can’t belong to anybody!”

There was an explosion. Then, as his vision turned dark, Lin JunYi suddenly he wanted to laugh. Right now, he actually felt strangely…. refreshed. Finally something had happened that was out of his control, out of his expectation. Previously when his manager told him about the letters, he guessed it was probably He Jian. But he hadn’t done anything. Because there was a part of him that was curious about what would happen...

As he looked into He Jian’s crazed and lovesick face, he was curious about what it would feel to be obsessed with someone else to this degree. 

But very quickly his vision went dark and his body grew cold. At that time suddenly his mind flashed back. A memory came into his mind of a cold and dark place. He felt the sensation of his chest being crushed, a feeling of extreme hopelessness and in inability to move. His face was wet with tears...

***

Author's Note: Welcome to my original story!  Some of you may know me from my translations in Whiteskytranslations.wordpress.com.  I am a Chinese girl living in Australia, so most of my stories are written from a Chinese perspective. Hope you enjoy.

I've actually already written 2 arc of this story completely, but will just upload 5 chapters for now to test the waters. Hope you enjoy!