Fainswift

Sorry about this - I hit publish accidentally on chapter 013 and only 1/3 of the text was included... This is now fixed, so please re-read 013 before reading 014, much appreciated! If you read chapter 013 for the first time after NOV 30, 2021, please ignore!

Wait, what that reporter said - that was it!

The 'Wings of the Goddess' adventure party was not only composed solely of S-rank combat maids, but the leader was none-other than my own mother!

If my arms had not been full of wife, I would have given myself a face palm.

It was all falling together.

So my mother met Katiana not as they claimed bumping into each other outside a shop, but very likely while Katiana was working as a drop-seller for my mother's adventure party!

I grinned - but only inwardly, as I did not want to give my brilliant deductions away just yet.

Dinner time would be the perfect time to call out both my mother and my wife on their mischievous deception.

After arriving at the estate I returned to the office to finish my interrupted work, leaving the two ladies to their own devices before dinner time.

At one point my steward brought tea.

"Steward, do you think there is a chance - however slight - that my wife has been dungeon diving after she left home?"

"Ah, after you described the incident in the warehouse district, I was also entertaining that thought." [Stephanus the Steward]

"She interacted with the 'Wings of the Goddess', according to the bakery, so perhaps she tagged along with them into dungeons?"

"One would not be shamed in thinking such, were it not that just a few moments ago I witnessed an event that, dare I say, caused me no end of bewilderment. Despite her obvious prowess, I can no longer entertain the idea that my Lady the Duchess ever has, nor ever will in the near future, dive into dungeons." [Stephanus the Steward]

"Oh? Why is that?"

"It be best you witness the truth for yourself, my Lord. If you would be so good as to follow me?" [Stephanus the Steward]

My steward led me to the lunch room - the one with the full view to the south gardens.

Mother was standing in the middle of the open area which was used for summer tea parties, shouting encouraging words and waving her arms about.

Katiana, dressed in pants and a fencing blouse, was near by, swinging Lion-Grim - my mother's star-metal sword - as if it was a willow branch.

In the short time since I arrived, she dropped Lion-Grim four times in mid swing, and sent it flying three time into the garden - almost hitting my mother once.

"Ah, I see. What an unexpected stunningly lackluster display of martial... mastery."

"My Lord, I recently read it is not healthy to hold in laughter..." [Stephanus the Steward]

Having dropped Lion-Grim for the fifth time, Katiana waved at me from outside as she retrieved the sword - I waved  backed at her thru the window and then did a thumbs up sign with a straight face.

"It is also not healthy to laugh openly at one's wife from where she she can see me, so I will just have to stoically survive this... spectacle. But yes, dungeon floor bosses would have laughed themselves to pieces had they had the mis-fortune to encounter my dear wife's swordsmanship."

And indeed I myself was having a hard time not snickering, but I was not about to admit that even to my trusted steward - just in the off-chance that Katiana might find out later.

"That said, this does solve the recent case of the vanishing sword - I heard from a conversation she had with the Dowager Duchess, that my Lady has been trying to learn how to swing Lion-Grim for a few weeks now." [Stephanus the Steward]

"Ah right - there is an internal connecting door between my mother's rooms and my wife's quarters, now that you mention it... which is why I never caught my wife replacing the sword."

"That seems to be the case... And recently I also dared consider that my Lady might be a mage - but mages are bound to their staffs, and my Lady has neither a staff nor a wand." [Stephanus the Steward]

"It was worth a thought - I suppose she really was just a drop-seller. Her strength would come in handy for that, too - she'd be able to carry a very large consignment in both directions without too much strain."

Well, back to work - it was still an hour away before dinner - at which time I would expose my discovery about the 'Wings of the Goddess'.

"So I did some thinking, mother - you told me you met Katiana in front of a shop."

They both nodded, not even slowing down the motion of fork to plate to mouth - both ladies were good "trenchers".

"But... I suspect the truth has more to do with dungeons, would that not be so?"

The forks of both my mother and my wife froze half way to their mouths as they exchanged glaces with each other.

"Dear husband, in what way would there be any connection to dungeons in my relationship with big-sis?" [Katiana]

"Is it not the truth that you were drop-selling for my mother's party, 'Wings of the Goddess' for a few months?"

My mother put down her fork.

She then commenced to hit the luckily very solidly built dining table with both fists while laughing open mouthed.

Nozomi the slime was quite wobbling from the shaking of the table.

With a fine tentacle wrapped around a piece of bread about to be slurped in, Nozomi stared at the spectacle with its one eye very wide open - if it had been blessed with an eyebrow, I suspected it would have been raised all the way.

After a moment my mother calmed down and spoke - giggles sporadically interrupted her words.

"Dear Katiana, {hihi} I am so so sorry, I {hahaha} have to apologize for birthing {snirk} such an idiot - I take {buahaha!} all the blame!" [Mother Duchess, Wudemia]

This would have been a good time to put a hurt look onto my face, but I don't do expressions, so I just glared.

My wife patted my mother gently on the arm.

"Now now big-sis... I can see how Nitram got that idea." [Katiana]

Then Katiana looked straight at me with serious eyes.

"Dear Nitram, husband of mine - yes, I was selling dungeon drops when I met big-sis. But I can say with perfect truth that we did not ever have - nor have now - any business relationship concerning dungeon goods." [Katiana]

Oh...

My infallible instinct informed my there was only truth in those words.

"Ah... well, it was just a thought - someone saw you converse with the 'Wings of the Goddess' in one of the dungeon cities, so... I suppose my brains sort of saw connected dots, where there were none."

"Snirk... no cigar! Pfffftt....." [Mother Duchess, Wudemia]

It was a few days later after the attempted kidnapping of Katiana around mid-morning when my wife entered my office.

"Of course this is where you are hiding out, dear Nitram." [Katiana]

"A duke's work is never done, even with your kind assistance, dear wife."

"Yes, I suppose so, sigh... oh right! I wanted to discuss something before we go to that shin-dig... ah, I meant ball." [Katiana]

I put down my pen - she was wearing a light blue dress today, long sleeved again complete with matching gloves, but this time her neck was bare with the inner edges of her clavicles just visible.

Katiana wooshed around the furniture, pushed me and my chair slightly away from my desk, and plopped herself in my lap.

She wiggled her bottom a bit, which I felt might become dangerous if she continued too long.

"Oh, comfy! Good thing this chair does not have arm rests... am I too heavy?" [Katiana]

"A nightingale has more meat on it than you do... what was it that you need discussing?"

"Hihihi! Eh, is it warm in here? Woof... ah one moment..." [Katiana]

My wife opened a fan and waved it in front of her face.

Today's mild scent that she exuded reminded me of a deep, dark, and rich chocolate cake.

"Ah that's better. Dear, listen carefully, and solemnly promise me this - tomorrow night, at the ball, no matter what happens, no matter what he says or does, no matter who else is in attendance, swear to me on your star-metal sword Bear-Grim the following..." [Katiana]

"It must be important if you bring up Bear-Grim... all right, because it is you asking, I will swear. But what?"

"Do not - and I repeat - do not kill the crown prince." [Katiana]