Yu Yaoting is inexplicably panicked. For the first time, he doesn't know what to do or what to say. All he could think of was the delicate face of that person that kept reappearing in his head nonstop. Constantly. Relentlessly keeping him restless. After that time, the images of those fair features and those pleasant voices had haunted him until now. Yet he still hasn't managed to come up with a decision to reply to that person.

The person he cared for. The person whom he can't stop worrying about. Although they had met only once, he can't stop thinking back to when his fingers came into contact with that soft touch. 

Sighing helplessly, Yu Yaoting finally stops pacing around his room.

Thinking of the cute boy, his mood uplifts but the next second it drops. When the boy had mentioned his name, those expressions were so cold and ruthless that he couldn't stop the sweat on his back. He doesn't care too much. The first thought that surfaced when seeing that person was to promise and solemnly swear that he will always stay beside that person, by his side for eternity. 

But how can he do that if the boy hates him? Does he hate him? He can't remember what he did horribly to make the boy's impression of him so hateful. As a secret heir and a highly favored general, he is bound to attract many oppositions from all sides. However he doesn't want the boy and him to be on different ends. He wants to be by that person's side whether to serve him or to fight alongside him.

Yu Yaoting even thinks that if the boy wants his head, he wouldn't hesitate to drop down and hands over his head to that beautiful figure. It's like a signature carved in the depth of his soul, a promise that that very person deserves only the most and the best. Never to be hurt and taken advantage of again.

This very thought pulls him back from his incessant thoughts.

What was he thinking?

Yu Yoating slumps on the bed. Running a finger over his temple, he sighs for the nth time today.

"Why are you always on my mind?"

As for the person that makes him this way? He is unaware.

Shen ShanYuan walks in, the footsteps seem brisk and hurried. Today his own manor had been secretly guarded and closed. He had everyone away from this very place.

Pacing to the side of the bed, he weakly lay on the soft quilt. With his back touching the bed, his mind is once again brought back to that horrific memory.

Even if he wants to remove that very thought away, it is very hard to do so. As if impossible to defy his will. This body seems to be going against his own wishes. Something is telling him, rushing him to remember a particular piece. The very depth of his bones and soul is whispering, no- the noises are getting louder by the second. Shouting that he had to hurry, someone's waiting!

But another side is fighting against it, soothing him calmly. Telling him that it is okay for him to take his time. That person will always wait. That he shouldn't rush.

Sweats start to drop, his forehead throbs. Needless to say, his ears start to hear the ringing again. 

It's happening again.

Shen ShanYuan groans. His hand reached over to the bedpost, leaning against the pillows and tried to sit up. Doing this has already made him shiver. His mouth is constantly quivering and his body feels chilly.

The wind is colder than usual.

He thought.

Then his pupils shrank.

The next thing he knew. 

"Pfft-!"

The force exerts, the blood rushes out. His lips spurt, mouthful of blood mixed with internal qi. The corner of his lips is still stained with red but he doesn't care. 

For all that is screaming in his head is "PICK IT UP! PICK THEM UP! HURRY! HURRY!"

By then, Shen ShanYuan's arm is stuffed with jars filled with his own blood. His eyes are dazed, never once letting go of the jar.

Clutching it tightly against his chest like a life saving straw. 

ShiQi panics seeing the host spit blood. It shrieks with concern and worries.

"MASTER, MASTER HOST! QUICKLY REDEEM POINTS! POINTS!!"

"THE MALL! SYSTEM MALL!!"

Shen ShanYuan knows that he himself is missing a part of him, his memories. He only knows that he needs to get them back. However, he starts to realise that the more he stays here the worse his memories get. They start failing, he seems to lose him before he transmigrates over. Without the existence of the system, he would've thought he is an original soul in this world.

The knowledge of not being fully in control makes him frustrated. So he seeks a method to find ways to regain those memories because either they were stolen or sealed only then could he remember everything before. 

Perceiving the system's reminder, Shen ShanYuan simply raises his hand to stop it. The blood has been out but his head still hurts. 

Looking at the host trying to calm his breathing, ShiQi wants to relax. But how can it do that after seeing the bloody scene? 

Back when the timeline shifts, ShiQi had noticed that the host had sealed its power along with the memories that are lost. It was scared out of my mind. Yet it can do nothing, it can only watch how the progress proceeds. 

The only thing is to wait. It still wants to come out and survey the host's state. Now that his power is mostly sealed, it needs the host permission to do so. The only thing it could do is await the host's permission so that it could talk to him or fulfill the host's requests. 

ShiQi wants to cry. Why is the host still trying to be strong?! Clearly he is already weakened but to not make him disappear the host sacrifices himself! It is so useless!

As it wailes inside, ShiQi still remembers not to leak its own thoughts to the fragile host lest he be unfocused and this world is destroyed. 

After all, a decade is already a long time.

Since this is a miscalculation, time is running.

Checking the host's status, it weeps more bitter tears. Master host and this world's body 's compatibility is falling way too fast! 

If this continues, we'll be kicked out soon!

Although ShiQi doesn't know which is a safer option! It only hope the master is not too weak now…

Shen ShanYuan's forehead still oozes cold sweat, his back is soaked drenched from the overexertion. He can't collapse yet. He needs to go back, to find that person!

Unfortunately, this body is weakening by the bits. He can't do anything about that, even the aching throb in his mind is out of his control. He could only lay down in defeat. To wait for the storm to pass.

Shen ShanYuan doesn't know how long or how short had past, he only knows this excruciating pain isn't decreasing rather it is destroying him!

"Urgh!"

Like an electrocute flash, he clutches his head in remorse. It's aching so painfully. He wishes it could disappear instantly. He doesn't want to experience this everytime he tries recalling the picture. Although it was painful before, this time it is like his soul is being crushed and burned in flame. 

The burnt and stench from his very own soul being hit is immense torture. It hurts even worse than when he transmigrated. He just wants it to end! End quickly! 

Shen ShanYuan thinks it is better for him to die right away than to go through this soul burning experience. He could only clamp his head, digging the nails in his skin hoping to be distracted but the pain not only deteriorated. He wants to crush everything.

"It hurts… hurts-!"

His body curls up in a ball, teeth shattering. The blood soak, all he could feel is pain and torture.

No matter how much he wishes and hopes for this to go away, the torment brings him back to reality. That he is still stuck. Still being burned. He is like a lap dog that is punished by its owner. As the owner amusedly watches him being trapped in the endless flames. 

He can't retreat, can't move, can't complain. He can't even cry or make a sound in protest. 

If he did so, he would be slashed by the thorn whip and be lashed out angrily by the person who watches him. 

For a moment, his ear pricks up and the voices overlap between the torment nightmare and his reality. 

Shen ShanYuan can't tell the differences, for either one he is always being experimented cruelly on. He could only subject himself to harsh training.

He wants to cry, he wants to ask why. But he doesn't dare make a sound. Shen ShanYuan only bits his lips to avoid making a noise but the tears that fall like a river down his flushed face is enough to dictate just how much torment he is in at the time.

"CRY! CRY! CRY! ALL YOU DO IS CRY! IF I HEAR YOU MAKE ANOTHER UGLY SOUND, SEE IF I DON'T BURN YOU ALIVE OVER AND OVER!!" 

His body uncontrollably shivers. He can stop the noise yet how can he stop the tears? He is in pain. Why is he not allowed to cry? 

But he knows, even if he cries louder, the pain never stops or fades down. 

For no one is ever going to get him away from here. This cruel place. 

His home.

Shen ShanYuan's eyes turn bloodshot. Before his consciousness fell, he had the desire to question the sky and ramble the questions he always kept inside.

Why does he have to go through this? Does tainle hate him so bad? But why?! What did he do wrong?!