POV Valentine

'Damn noobs! Ugh! Fuck! Fucking listen to what I say! Shit, my back hurts. Fuck them all! Uuggh. How do I access the emergency treatment function?'

The day has not gone well for me yet again. Apparently the dungeon mushrooms are seasonal on this side. Meaning I can't use them as they are without risking someone in the know raising questions.

'I knew that mushrooms are rubbish for a reason. Why are they not cultivated like the rest of are? You can buy fresh produce all year round, but NO mushrooms must be special! Fucking pricks!'

After being chewed out about that, I was forced to show my findings, including the onion demons. 'I explained 3 times! That EVERYTHING! in there, is out to kill us! That anything and everything that moves will be dangerous! Any cute critter, will fucking eat you alive!'

What was the result of my warning? A spear to my back! Yumi though that the cute, little cats are just shy. Getting sprayed with onion tear gas changed her mind very fast. The down side being, that I was too close when she started flailing around.

'Getting stabbed in the back hurts. Fucking onyans, fucking carelessness, fucking mountain.'

I spend my next days exploring further in. The mountain has been pretty straight forward with the monsters I encounter.

Tomato fusions at the base and slightly higher up. Potato golems and rice lizards occupy the flattened low and middle area. The onyans take the higher areas above, harassing anyone going up.

'The agile beasts can make anyone climbing the walls fall down to their deaths! Hopefully, there aren't any flying monsters higher up. Now that, would be a nightmare!'

The progress is slow going, as I walk alone, mapping out the easiest trails leading up. Another day of fruitless endeavour and onion stink clinging to me.

-- --

Thursday is the day! I have finally found a way forward!

'Well, a way down? A cave. Yes, a cave entrance into the mountains. Hope there are no dragons there. Hmm… Although, a dragon's hoard would be appreciated.'

As I move down the tunnel, I feel the cold wind on my face. Slowly, shield at the ready, I inch forward, only to be met with a whiteout.

"Ffffffuuck… Haaa… Why? I mean, I am a winter person. I hate the hot Arabic countries, due to my exercise sweating. Nontheless! A Fucking TUNDRA!! FUCK YOU!!!!"

Half way up the mountain it started to get colder and it forced me to carry warmer clothes in the backpack. Even now, wearing a coat, I feel the bitting cold and the sharp wind.

"Fuck! It must be below -15°C, with the winds -20 at least. How about a lovely beach next floor? Haaa, fuck my life… ."

I don't feel like staying here for too long. An hour at most, before I get sick. 'Haa, it takes too long to move down any further. How fast did I get to this floor? Hm… over 2.5 hours? Fucking mountain. Hm. An hour of running if I know the shortest route, encounter no enemies and practically fly over the mountain. Yeah. Shit… .'

At this moment I doubt that I'll make it past even this floor. The raging storm demonstrates the harshness of this biome. An eternal winter storm. Visibility of a 100 m at best and constant sounds of raging winds.

"Haa, I don't even want to. Haa, go deeper into that. Haaa snowstorm."

'Fuck it, I'll check the slimes of this floor and go soak in the hot springs. They better drop some chocolate ice cream! What else comes with winter? Gingerbread? British Christmas pudding? Wet socks? Haa, right, need to get better clothing for this floor. Do I need to carry a wardrobe with me? Fuck.'

Already feeling cold and wet, I look around the cave entrance, check the ground, try to see or hear anything. 'Hooo, hooo. Cold hands = get gloves. I can't see shit out here, some rocks nearby, snow, snow, ice. Am I in a canyon? The fuck do you even do out here? Fight the cold? Build a snowman?'

Halfway sinking into snow, with cold hands and feet I push forward for a couple hundred meters, probably, it's hard to judge distance when you see shit in every direction.

Not far away from a wall, I notice a different colour. A bright red contrast to the white. I push my way towards it with the speed of a lazy turtle.

'At least it's easier to find them. If they were white, I wouldn't notice any from 10 meters away! Soo, a red, half buried thing with teeth. It… Looks like a strawberry? Yeah. A giant 1.5 m strawberry. Looks to be alone and unmoving, except for the sharp teeth. Haa, first slimes, then tomatoes, now a strawberry. The fuck will be next? A banana? Haa. Let's get this over with and go warm up.'

I take one of the rocks I have with me and try throwing it at the monster to see if it can move. My throwing accuracy is shit, my hands are too cold to work well enough. The next hit lands softly on the big berry and it stays in place.

'Can it tilt? Haa, need to bring a spear with me the next time.' Just to be safe, I try hitting it with one of my kitchen knives. The first one goes awry and the second hits it with the handle, maybe, hard to see.

'Ugh, fucking cold, can't throw for shit with shaking hands. Haa. Haa. Cold. Well, I think it is fine to engage it. Just got to keep some distance in case it tries falling on me.' 

I move closer, as it continuously snaps its mouth at me, still unmoving. I get ready to trample some snow with my shield, to have better mobility in case I would need to move back fast, when an involuntary scream escapes me.

"AAAAAAAAhHhHhHHaahahhahatht"

I can feel PAIN in both my legs, as I am dragged under the snow and forward by something. I can't see anything with the snow covering my face.

'FUCKFUCKFUCKFUXKFUUDUFX SHIT SHHHITHSSGHS'

Snow in mouth, eyes, nose, I feel myself being lifted by my TEARING APART LEGS. Desperate to fucking end this PAIN I swing my axe around, while being held upside down, with little success.

"AAHHAAA RERHHAA AAAAA!!!"

I blink, I shake my head, I forget to use my free hand as I continue flailing. Then it snaps shut.

"RrrHAaaaAaaaAA!!"

I can see the mouth snapping on my leg. I scream! I SPASM! CONVULSING in pain, I get a hold on my rage. At this shitstorm of a life, I've been sent into. At the fucking heavens for allowing me to come down here. At myself for walking into this mess!

So I HACK, I CHOP, I HIT, I SCREAM, I BITE? I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I feel more spikes of pain, but my only focus is on my axe and swinging it down.

Everything is moving, or am I being thrown around? I can't find anything to pivot against. I flop midair the best I can.

At some point I ended up on the ground again. I'm not sure I was conscious when it happened.

Everything HURTS.

'FUCK DUCK DUFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK MOVE'

I stare blankly into nothing, trying to understand where I am. As soon as I turned my head, I wished I hadn't. My left hand is mangled.

'Fuckffuck MFDFFffuck'

I force my body to function once again. 'YOU stay YOU die.YOU stay YOU die.YOU stay YOU die.YOU stay YOU die.'

With a mantra on repeat, I crawl, limp, roll, whatever I can force myself to do. I don't know if I can feel pain right now, everything is just cold. Is this the right way? I don't have the capacity to ask myself that as I crawl forward, digging through the snow. I probably left all my stuff somewhere, but there is nothing I can do about it.

When my face isn't covered by snow or blood, I manage to look where I'm going. With only partial awareness of my surroundings, I make it to a wall and follow it along, trying to get into the cave I came from. I'm not sure how long I have spent moving, but at a point when I regained enough brain processing power, I noticed that I was back on the second floor, crawling along a path leading down.

'YOU stay YOU die. YOU stay YOU die. FUCKING MOVE FASTER!'

I feel cold, colder, heavier, sight blurred, hands shaking. The path is moving before me. Am I moving? Is the earth moving?

'Will I DIE?' I don't know. My ears ring with only one phrase: YOU stay YOU die. So I move. Move for as long as there is somewhere to move to. I move to live.

Am I flying?

POV Anna

'The week hasn't started on the best note. First the mushroom incident, then the cat debacle. I feel that Valentine is going back into his - just call me chef- shell.'

"Haa, stupid onion, cat, thing." It is getting difficult to suddenly disappear from the academy. Everyone is used to seeing us at certain times at certain places, and not being found anywhere for a week is getting suspicions.

'Moving up and down the mountain is too time consuming. We need to show our faces around more, like any other year we have done before. Haaa, we must have a long chat, wether he likes it or not. He can't keep on hiding forever.'

I honestly don't pay attention to the lesson, being lost in thought, until I am poked from the side.

"Tai: Anna, hey, your phone is ringing."

'My phone? Hm? I don't have a ringtone about death… Oh… The tablet…'

All Things Must Die (feat. Casey Lee Williams) by Jeff Williams

"Shit!!!"

-- --  -- --  -- --  -- --  -- --  

Emergency notice

Owner (temporarily restricted) - Valentine [Human Lv 1, Artisan Lv 5]. Critical physical damage detected.

Severe blood loss.

Multiple organs damage.

Critical brain damage

Emergency treatment initiated - Failure. Target is out of reach.

Emergency stabilization initiated - 40% Success. Insufficient resources, target is out of effective reach.

Diagnostic: Owner - Valentine. Death in 54 minutes.

Recommendation: Retrieve the target to HQ for emergency treatment. Estimated cost ~ 1000 Mana.

-- --  -- --  -- --  -- --  -- --  

"Fucking shit!"

Holding the tablet, I sprint for the door not paying attention to anything else. I move too fast to hear any complaints from the teacher or anyone. I sprint directly for the restaurant.

"Tai: What happened?"

I see Tai overtake me by a step and Yumi following a bit behind me. I try to think of what must be done.

"Anna: He's dying. Go. Ready weapons. Take the map. Find a path."

I continue sprinting, not wasting a breath. As the fastest of us, Tai takes the tablet and runs ahead. Yumi and I follow the best we can, conserving enough strength to move as fast as possible. After getting close to the restaurant, we slow down and steady our breathing. 'I told him to slow down! To wait for us to find the time! To not go too far! SHIT!'

"HAA, haa, haa, fuuu." We move downstairs, finding Tai, glued to the table.

"Tai: Take a moment. I need to get a better idea of the best route. He is somewhere on the left side. Halfway up? Somewhere… with a dead end. I think. Just go ahead, I'll catch up and guide you up the mountain. Go clear the path!"

We move as a team, spearing to death a unlucky chicken. As we get to the second floor, Tai catches up and takes the lead.

"Tai: There will be 4 monsters on the way there. Move behind me. Don't draw aggro. We don't have the time."

We had plenty of time to test the limits of these so called monsters. They truly behave like programs. Sticking to a neat single file, we run by most monsters either unnoticed or too fast for them to give chase.

I mentally count the minutes. 23, 23.5, 24.

"Tai: We are here. THERE!"

'FUCK, fuck, fuck!!'

"Anna: Yumi?! Any progress on healing spells?!"

"Tai: Fuck! This is bad, real bad."

"Anna: What's the timer?!"

"Tai: Below 30 minutes. No change, he must be magically kept alive."

'Right, if he is still alive in that condition, he must be magically stabilized. We need to move.'

"Yumi: I'll carry him first. Anna, switch with me after 5 minutes. Tai!"

Yumi passed her weapon to Tai and lifted the mangled chef up in her arms. 'Fuck, he barely has any limbs left. Or blood. Or time to live. Fuck!'

"Anna: Double time! Yumi upfront! Anything in the way, drag it to the side, then follow behind! Switch as needed!"

We move as a well-oiled machine, fueled by adrenaline and panic. I switched with Yumi as soon as she started lagging behind.

'FUCK! He is light! Shit! Is he still alive?'

When Tai moves to intercept a golem, Yumi overtakes me and keeps the way clear. We switch again as I start feeling the pressure.

'Fucking terrain! Stupid mountain! Faster!'

Very high on adrenaline, we make the trip in record time, with over 5 minutes to spare. As soon as we move through the gate, he lights up with a strong glow.

"Anna: Haaa, haaa, hoo, what does it say?"

"Tai: Give me a second … 1250 Mana and 3 days give or take. Haaa, fuck. Haa."

'Ok, ok ok good. He's alive. Fuck.'

"Anna: Ok. Let's take a moment. Fuuu."

"Yumi: Do I put him down?"

'Ah, right. That.'

"Anna: Right… I think we can move him to his bed. I don't know if we should touch the injuries. Better let the alien magic do the work and not make things worse."

"Yumi: Right!"

"Anna: We should keep this on the down low for now. The other girls will be here soon. Tai, can you get changed and turn them away somehow? Hm… The chef was called away for something and will be back next week. We will start cleaning up a bit. Fuck. Our uniforms will have to go into the magic bin. Too bloody to explain it away."

"Tai: Sure! I'll keep watch outside for a bit. Haa, how did it turn out like this?"

'It's a shit show. Fuck. We will need to do some explaining when we get back. Haa.'

I take a moment to collect myself. As the worst of this situation passed, we will need to do some major cleanup, both literally and figuratively.

'Ok, Anna. One problem at a time. He will stay unresponsive for a long time, giving us a chance to deal with our own problems, before we have to deal with him. First to remove all the blood, the clothes, and the smell.'

While Yumi is taking care of him, I grab some cleaning supplies and towels, to clean up the little mess on the floor.

"Yumi: I've got him out of the rags. He looks very, very bad. I... Ugh it's not a sight I'd like to remember. Ever."

I hug my trembling friend, reassuring us both that everything will be alright. That we can let a bit of tension go.

"Anna: Shower. Hot shower for our nerves. Come. I'll throw away our clothes together with his. We'll have to wear our gym clothes for now and order new uniforms when we get back."

I stick Yumi under hot water and shampoo her all over, so that she doesn't have to see all the red flowing down.

"Yumi: What do you think happened in there? Something must have gone terribly wrong. He looked as if a lion has tried eating him. We should have insisted more, held him back more, he almost died."

"Anna: He will be fine. You have seen this advanced technology, or magic, at work. He will be back to normal. Hopefully less of an idiot too."

'We will need to check the map, see where he has gone. Haa, right. No more of that place until we all come up with solid rules to prevent this from happening.'

I don't know how to help with the wounds, the best we can do is rinse and wipe away the dirt and blood. 'We will need to dispose of the bedding a few times. Best to come back and change the top in the evening and morning and at noon. `Sigh.'

Tai comes back as we finish up everything.

"Tai: I've told them he was called away and won't be back for a few days. Not very convincingly, I might add. We better check on them up later... How is he? As bad as it looks?"

"Anna: Hopefully not. The treatment is ongoing, and his breathing is more stable. Leaving the magic to do its work is our best bet. We aren't equipped to help him right now. There are better things we need to focus on. We will have a problem if Meiko, Mari and Hana come snooping around. I'm not sure how they will take to the story we have to tell. Seeing as how he is unable to do so himself. Haaaa..."

A thorough check on things later, we make a move for the academy. We will have to tell some made up excuses and get ourselves a spare set of uniforms and new shoes. 'Those were really comfy shoes. `Sigh.'