Ship in a Bottle by Steffan (Fin) Argus

I'm slowly warming up to the idea of trying to make healing potions. The incident when my shield broke, while taking a hit, and I've got my arm impaled before I could finish the second out of three monsters, has some driving force behind it. 'A magical healing item could come in handy for emergency treatment, at least to dull the pain and let me fight in a better state.'

"The question is… How the fuck!! I am supposed to do that?! This fucking magical water is bullshit! BULLSHIT!!"

From all those "tests" the women like to waste mana on, I already know that the healing water is highly inefficient.

The healing properties start to dissipate after 3 minutes and disappear after a measly 10 minutes! Regardless of whether it was actually used or not!

'I call this bullshit, for that is what it is.'

No matter the mana concentration, it just becomes normal hot spring water after 10 minutes. Sealing it into containers didn't change a damn thing, and they have tried plenty of times.

"I know that I'll get depressed if I calculate just how much mana the women have wasted trying to find a way to preserve the healing water. Haaa… How do I do this?"

'The healing mana behaves similarly to heat, dissipating over time. How do I preserve the heat or entrap it somehow? Do I have any magic tools for this purpose?'

I've triple checked all of my tools and appliances, nothing looks to be useful in my endeavour. "It fucking feels as if I'm looking for ways to prevent the heat death of the universe. Haaa… Am I too stupid for this?"

… …

…"Hmmm?…hm. Actually, isn't that right? Those rich girls are smart, this is supposed to be a high-class academy and they have plenty of family resources to misuse… . If there was a normal way to do this, they would have found it and lorded the achievement over me for days."

It's fucking obvious that I need some type of alchemy skills for this. All I have to do is find a substitute within my own skills. 'Skills that may or may not actually exist.'

"OK. Forget alchemy, it's too far out there. We have cooking! Right. What do you do to cook up some potions?…? Hell if I know. … Witches cook potions in cauldrons, right? That's how it was in my day, at least."

With nothing else to lose, I prepare every kind of cooking pot and pan that is available. 1 Mp is enough to have some, barely noticeable, healing properties added to the water and it's more than enough for me to experiment on it.

I stare at my pots filled with water. I try to feel it, to imagine myself cooking a healing SOMETHING. Usually, I get an instinctive nudge of an understanding of the dish I want to make, probably a passive skill.

'Come on. Healing broth. Jelly of recovery. Pastry for the soul. Full health juice. Anything… Cure all chicken soup?…Haaaahhh. Lemonade of restoration?'

After a dozen more attempts, I throw in the towel. "It doesn't click for me. Something is missing here. Ok let's try getting all of the ingredients out for the next round of tests."

I group up the ingredients and bring a new batch of healing water upstairs. 'Come on, come on.. potion, healing potions, health potion. Healing consomme, kissel of regeneration, cure wounds sauce… Wine of full health? Bread of warmth? ... Potato +2HP?' "Fucking anything!!!"

It's just not there. A collection of individual ingredients with nothing to bind them. The healing water simply slipped through my fingers like sand…or like literal water in this case. 'It feels like I'm working with thin air, only using my hands to move it around, producing zero results.'

"The starch is there! Fucking bind using that if you need a binding agent!"

`Sigh. Failure. 'Either my skills are too low Lv or it's not possible to substitute the alchemy skills, or I need some new magical equipment or one of the other 1001 possibilities.'

I pack up my shit to put it away into storage.

'…. WTF?'

I felt SOMETHING. A spark from my instinct. It's gone now, but it was there.

"Ok. The water has definitely expired by now. Fuu… Now, fucking memorize everything you have in hand, get new water and try again."

I put my bag down and check that everything is firmly in place. There are no moving about ingredients or people to mess up my setup.

I get a 5 Mp water and do exactly as I did before, I start packing things up.

As I move my hands closer to the pot, I feel a connection when I imagine making a healing liquid.

"Fuuu… A, OK. First, each ingredient one by one, then add and mix."

I put down my bag and start taking the things out one by one… 'WTF? No, really. What the actual fuck?'

Nothing reacts again. No combination, nothing. Even if I take everything in hand, it doesn't work again.

"Either I'm imagining things, or I'm going crazy." I take the bag and start preparing to repeat the whole thing again.

"AGAIN! There it fucking is!" I look at my hands and wonder if it's actually what I think it is.

I feel constipated and confused, but before I jump to conclusions I refresh the water, again. …

"The fucking slime bag!! How the fuck is a slime bag an ingredient?! It a BAG!"

All the loot from the dungeon comes in thin little membranes, that I've dubbed slime bags. I usually dispose of them after unpacking the loot as they aren't as tough as plastic bags are. Keeping something lightweight in them is ok and I don't mind putting the loot bags with liquid into boxes for storage as they are.

"This is mental. How do I cook a slime bag…thingy? Haaa… I need an instruction manual for this shit."

I have the feeling that the bag needs to be broken down, or melted down, or hell if I know! I'm mentally drained from this mindfuckery and decide to take my discovery as a milestone and be happy for a day. 'Yeah, happy today, cursing the hell out of it tomorrow.'

"H h ha ha ha ha ha! Cooking a bag! Not in a bag! But the bag itself! Ha ha ha! No wonder they didn't think of this shit!!"

My new daily routine has my sleeping schedule shifted to early morning till early noon. A couple hours of my time are dedicated to cooking, then I go hunting for mana and ingredients, serve late lunch or early dinner, take a nap, exercise in the gym and go fighting for my life on the third floor.

"A nice, balanced day. Hmm… The potions cooking will need a few hours for experiments too…hmmm. I'll free up some hours in the evening during my nap."

I'll get this damn slime bag cooked for sure!

"He, he, hhe, don't underestimate a cook! We can make a delicious soup with an axe as the main ingredient! An AXE!! A slime bag is easy mode compared to that! Ha ha ha ha!"

-- -- -- -- --

I've spent a week. A week worth of time, trying to cut up, boil, fry, sun dry, marinate, sauté, burn, melt, steam, chewing it myself, hitting it with a hammer, putting it into a pressure cooker… Nothing results is a success… The slime bag does not become a usable ingredient.

After all the things I've tried, I feel it in my gut that it must be turned into a liquid jelly. And it does! But not the right way! "WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING WORK!!!! RHAHHAHA!!!"

`Slam `CRASH `BAMM `Splash.

This is driving me insane! I know it can happen! I can feel that it must happen! IT JUST DOESN'T!! BUT I KNOW, I just KNOW!!

I've been so focused on it that I dream about myself working, and success!!! Then I wake up, and it's gone.

Like a math problem I have a solution to, but the steps to reach it have some bits and pieces missing. I follow my instinct all the way up to the completed solution. "What ARE you missing?! Speak!! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?"

I don't understand. The resulting solution is both the right an the wrong one. Like a pack of expired yeast, it can work, but it hasn't got all that much ompf to it! "FUCK!! What is your ompf?! Tell me!! Rhell mehhh!! Rhhegha! !!!  !!!!"

Making the binding solution turned out to be relatively easy. Cut up the bag into squares, soak them in a low 1-5 Mp water and leave them for an hour in the pressure cooker.

It turns into a homogeneous, clear liquid that I feel is both right and wrong. It has the benefit of prolonging the healing water's shelf life by another ~30ish minutes if the water isn't charged above~100 Mp.

I tried ignoring my instinct and tested different concentrations and proportions.

"NOTHING WORKS! WHY?!?!?!"

I am missing something. Something that my skills don't tell me. 'I need more bags. Are they any different from monster to monster? Is the freshness playing any part in this? Am I missing a step in the process?'

… … … …

'Smile Like You Mean It' (Alastor's Offer) (Original Music)

Another week… Another fucking week of hitting my head against the wall and the demons sing every time I fail! Laughing and taunting me! I've tried changing everything ... but I believe that there was a breakthrough.

Today, the failure got to me, I've lost it and went dogshit crazy chewing and ripping the slime bags, spilling the previously finish batch everywhere.

"…. W..T..F??" The feeling of my skill activating is as loud as an explosion to me. After weeks of stagnation… There is a spark!

"FUCK YOU!! I Will Get to the bottom of this shit!! If it's the last thing I doOo!"

I've suffered two weeks of sleepless days, waking up half delusional, thinking that I've finally cracked it, just to be disillusioned the next minute.

"HEhe he he he. I've finally got the next step figured out, regardless of how it happened. Now is the time of triumph!! MY triumph! I will get my dues for this!!! Money!! Women! FREEDOM."

POV Hana

The time off we are taking is a necessity for me. Not just because of the USC work, but mostly because I need more time to figure out how to run faster.

"Hana: Time me."

I center myself and reach deep within. It's a hard to describe feeling, similar to catching second wind but more ethereal. I guide the energy, concentrating 70% of it in my legs, while the remainder is cycling through my whole body.

Developing this technique has cost me an arm and a leg… literally. Concentrating everything without cycling the energy has dire consequences that require a large dose of healing water to fix.

After that unexpected result, it became apparent that I need to practice somewhere private. The clearing became the obvious choice. The ground is a bit too soft for a decent track, but it's not unusable.

50 … 60…fuuu "Go!"

My body is as light as a feather and I feel a power propel each of my steps. I keep the circulation stable, making minute adjustments on the run. It almost has become muscle memory, but I take my time to feel it and consciously manage the process, making sure that I don't develop any bad habits.

I glide above the track, barely touching the ground before moving on.

'Shift, focus, 80% NOW'

The most difficult part is getting the turns right. Going straight is easy and repetitive, making turns requires me to manage each step. If I don't have enough mana focused in my legs, I simply won't be able to make a turn, heading either straight ahead or making a smaller turn than intended. Stopping dead on my track is another pitfall altogether due to my high momentum.

"Meiko: 87 seconds!"

'1 km, 3 turns and 1 full stop. All clear. Mana…97-98% good.'

"Hana: Ha ha ha… Another 2 seconds shaved off. I think that my turns are getting sharper or is it from coming to a full stop?"

"Meiko: Hm… I feel that now you need to work on arresting momentum more. I imagine it would improve your control in general."

"Hana: Come now Meiko, no need to be sulking. You'll get a hang on it sooner or later. Another lap! Then I'll work on my control."

I became the first one to successfully prove the existence of our special powers. 'I could break a dozen Guinness world records, or more! Ha ha ha! Haaa..this feels nice.'

I slowly get the feeling of wholeness after working with mana, similar to the feeling of fully working out using every muscle in my body.

'Too bad that everyone gets a different feel for mana. It would be good if my experience in control can be of use to the others.'

It may have something to do with our classes, or each person needs a different approach or something else entirely.

I try running another lap, better, faster. It is a delicate balance between mana control and my instinct to rely solely on my body.

"Meiko: Good. Very good, Hana. `Sigh. I'm still lacking a good grasp on mana, and Lady Mari has forbidden me to break my body with training. Maybe it's because I've been too focused on the physical aspects for the past years? Haa… Do you think that trying the waterfall training can help?"

'Meditating under a waterfall? Mmm..?? It won't hurt to try?'

"Hana: Oh! We can use a day for relaxing! Definitely! The USC work has been a pain… A girls' only trip to a spa with a waterfall would be nice. We should bring it up with Mari!"

"Meiko: Aren't you already treating Mr Valentine as a masseur? There's even a magical hot spring."

'Fuck! I'm not getting any slack for that anytime soon. Damn wine! Uggh! What was I thinking?'

I feel my face heating up and I want to make up some more excuses, but I've already said all that I could. Instead, I awkwardly change the subject.

"Hana: Speaking of the magical hot spring… Did he have a breakthrough? Usually, he would be making much more noise at this hour."

"Meiko: I'm honestly not quite sure. Yesterday he was still sleep deprived and barely coherent. Not to mention the mess in the kitchen. I… I worry. We know little about his past, and he is not opening up to anyone."

'Great, Hana. You just had to bring the mood down. Haaa…' I infuse my voice with all the fake calm and positivity that I have.

"Hana: Don't worry, I'll check up on him. Besides! Remember that Miss Juliana will be joining us shortly. She will have much more time on hand to interact with him and hopefully make him behave less like a mental patient."

'It's much easier to beat the living shit out of people than dealing with that. The cowardly nurse Haruka didn't even try fixing him! Just excuses: I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't know how to help such a patient, you need to treat him more kindly… .'

"Meiko: Right, Lady Mari did mention that. Alright. Do you need any more help today? I think… Yeah, I'll try giving meditation a go. Who knows, it might be the correct path forward."

"Hana: Go get into a relaxed state of mind then. I'll practice my rapid movement techniques for an hour before doing anything else."

... .. .

I haven't gotten the mana control down by the end of my training, but a minuscule improvement was made nonetheless.

'Sigh', I did promise to check up on him. Haaa… Suck it up and get it over with.'

I look around the ground floor, finding the kitchen is a surprisingly clean state. Reading through the scattered notes on the table revealed that some progress has been made. The handwriting is a horrible mess and only the underlined conclusion is readable.

"Finally. The moron has been pushing himself too far for this. Going deep into the third floor alone, when even all of us together are facing risks down there. A fucking weakling should stay safe here and not break down mentally!"

Mari has shown us the slowly filling up map of the third floor, with notes that sometimes make some sense and sometimes are just useless scribbles. Trying to talk it out didn't work and he still goes there alone, risking his life.

I walk downstairs, looking through the rooms before finding him asleep in the gym.

"Haaa... Just get some proper sleep, moron."

He is completely out cold as I drag his ass downstairs into his room.

'Tch, pathetic. This room is just pathetic. No personal possessions, no artistic touch, a barely lived in room.'

"Fucking show that you live and not only exist here. Paint a picture, make a plush toy, take a picture, anything but these bare walls. Even if this is your prison, it doesn't mean that you have to live like a prisoner. `Sigh. We don't have the right people to put you back together if you break apart. So don't."