Gravity Falls Theme - Epic Orchestral Cover by captain_missile

POV Kei

I get goosebumps from the unusual tone of the music. It almost has a physical presence that amplifies the intensity, and the delicate notes seem to call out to something beyond the here and now.

`Clap, clap, clap~

"Moeha: This piece wasn't that bad. It has novelty in its modern techniques, and it's not too overbearing, unlike some music that I've listened to online."

"Kei: The brochure says that it's a rework from an American cartoon. I think that I'll check it out during our school break."

"Moeha: Oh? You are taking some time off from work? Hmm~I don't know~ The tips seem worth working without taking a vacation~."

Considering that we are using the tickets that I have "happened to find" in my pockets and that I'm wearing "hand-me-downs", I'm not sure what is worse. To take a week off and not put in the effort to pay back these tips, or to work and possibly get even more tips. Both options seem horribly one sided in my opinion.

"Kei: "All rich people are wastrels, so don't worry about it." That's the only response I get from chief Valentine when I complain about it. I don't know if there is any way to stop them."

"Kei: Kuhum. Well... from a certain perspective, he isn't wrong, and you look cute in a black too! It emphasizes your strictness and seriousness, contrasting nicely with your usual white summer dress. We should set aside a day to visit a large clothing store and see what other styles fit you!"

'...I get the distinct feeling that being a dress-up doll has suddenly become a major part of my life. Well... It can't be helped this time around. I need to use up the gift certificates, and there will be good seasonal discounts to take advantage of. Maybe I'll get something for everyone?'

The short pause is over, and we return our attention back to the performance. Much unlike watching a movie at a cinema, we don't have any snacks on hand and by the end of it we feel peckish. However, despite the early hours it will be dark soon and we haven't decided on what exactly to do after leaving the concert hall.

"Moeha: Let's head back to my place and hang out for a few more hours. You haven't been over for some time, and we'll properly send you home after dinner."

"Kei: Hmm... I did get busy... Ok! We must first make a stop and get some snacks."

I did plan to come back home late in the evening, so I'm free with my time today. Keeping in touch with my friends is definitely a worthy cause and I'm honestly looking forward to it.

... .. .

"Kei: Are you sure about this new menu?"

"Valentine: Yes, I am. A single large batch will be easier to make and it would be enough for a week, leaving only little things needing to be done when serving customers. I might not have the free time to stick around for that long after April, so this is for the best."

I re-read the new menu again. No matter how I look at it, it consists mostly of sweets and drinks. The only exception is a single entry: Dish of the day. It pains me to not see any of the balanced meals that we have practiced making and it must have shown on my face.

"You can't forget that they have a whole cafeteria for themselves, and I physically can't cook individual servings for a near thousand students each day. Well, even if I could, it would be redundant. Serving a slice of cake and a cup of tea is enough... and it's less of a hassle."

'It is indeed less effort, but still... .'

"Kei: What will you be busy with?"

"Valentine: Eh, same old, same old."

Once again, I get a non-response to my worries. It is all but a confirmation that he'll be doing something dangerous, like loosing more limbs and a spectre of gloom casting a shadow over everyone. It doesn't sit well with me.

"... I'll introduce a little friend of mine to you next week. That should put your concerns to rest. Now! I want us to confirm how the frozen pastry behaves and what quirks to watch out for. No time for brooding over something so completely irrelevant."

And so, we work like any other day. I'm shown what he has in mind, then do it myself and we deliberate on potential improvements. I leave behind the unanswered questions for another day and enjoy the opportunity to learn more of his techniques.

... .. .

Stella Jang - Villain

POV Valentine

Much of my day is routine by now. Exercise, cook, ferry the flock for grazing, train my own fighting skills, avoid the overly eager newcomers, sleep, play with the cats, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat...again and again.

`Ring-a-Ding-ding~!

Waking up to an awful, pain in the ass, mocking spit to the face song, doesn't even phase me these days. Born more from a force of habit than from conscious processing of the situation, I mutter a dismissive "fuck you too" and swipe at the screen without fully opening my eyes.

I sometimes feel bogged down, something akin to passing through a stagnant quagmire up to my neck, but I know that it's necessary. It's a matter of survival that I take my time to prepare, to improve, to innovate. Regardless of others thinking that I'm going mad with my "snake wine", they simply are blind to the ultimate truth born of madness!

"If I were sane all the time, then there would have been no potions to begin with. It's only logical that to succeed further, I need to ramp up the madness to a higher degree and embrace it wholeheartedly!! Haha~ha~ha!"

Before anything else, I jump over to the vinery and examine my latest prototypes. The genius of it is truly terrifying! I've put shards of the dungeon crystals into bottles of healing potions!

"Snake wine, my ass! This deserves to be named in a more poetic way! Something...like...holy crystal... spirit... . I'll think more on that name."

To be fair, I've borrowed a fraction of the idea from the girls playing around with imbuing magical properties into them. Simple little things with barely any realistic applications. But! What if I crammed very potent single use effects into pinky finger sized ones? Is it possible to make them rechargeable? Use them in tandem and amplify the effects? Have hundreds of instant full heals equipped at any time!? To become unkillable?! To cheat the system!!!

My skills tell me that some of the potions have degraded more than the others and I mark it all down. Any scrap of information may be of potential immense value towards finding the right way to my final goal. Any and all possibilities should be given a chance to make this work!

Done with the inspection, I follow my usual routine throughout the day with little excitement and nothing to really look forward to. My last hopes for the "cat world" were crushed by Mururr when she confirmed that none of the pictures I've shown her match anything living in or around their area. No sexy humanoids at all, not even the uglier ones were ever seen around their village.

At the end of it, choosing that gate address is looking more and more to have been a mistake with little benefits to be gained.

.. .

Ring-a-Ding-ding~!Ring-a-Ding-ding~!

"I'm up, damn siren!"

Rousing from a good dream in the middle of the night sours any good mood left in my soul, but fortunately it will be a positive factor in tonight's secret excursion. So, with heavy steps I make my way upstairs to brew a mug of espresso and wait for my bodyguards to arrive.

'Ain't I a fucking harem protagonist? Beautiful women are at my beck and call, ready to fight on my command! `He~he~he~... .'

"`Sigh. I'd rather go back to sleep~."

Being chipper all the time is fucking bullshit, with or without women involved. Whoever acts otherwise is an anime character with defective bodily functions and a brain tumor the size of a melon.

"Hana: Take a shower or something. We aren't going out for a picnic."

"Risa: I agree. A refreshing shower would help."

I was resting my head...and upper body on the table, definitely not snoozing or anything, when my far too enthusiastic bodyguards showed up.

"Valentine: I`Yawn~ was... coffee... ."

Seeing them nod, I shamble to the kitchen and brew us each a cup. Sticking my head under cold running water while waiting did wash away a great deal of my desire to get back to bed. So, with newfound wakefulness, I bring out the snacks and drinks in one go without spilling a single drop anywhere.

"Thanks×2."

Downing my second mug if a few large gulps, I go back down to my room, to gear up and to check my spy camera on the cat world. The bright sunshine is wholly displeasing to look at, even though a monitor, and I sincerely hope that their dungeon is dim enough not to hurt my eyes. Wearing protective goggles is detrimental to my combat abilities, and I prefer to avoid it as much as possible.

"Hmm~ there's Mururr and two...three more... beasts of burden, no, no...luggage carriers."

'Eh, who cares, same thing anyway. Ok, water, weapons, potions, emergency backpacks, anti-cat measures just in case...good to go.'

Everything is packed and ready to roll, so I carry the backpacks to the gate room. There, I unlock an isolated room with the "trial" gate that was specifically set aside for checking out new planets. Not that picking at random found us any promising planets to explore without dying a painful and pointless death after a scant few seconds of exposure to the hostile environments. Basically, it's been abandoned by everyone else but my cheating little self.

"Risa: Are we all set?"

"Valentine: Yup. Our guides are already waiting. Please. Follow the outlined rules of our petting zoo trip for their and our own good. ...It would creep me the hell out if you two behave like Yumi."

"Hana: Hey!"

With little further protests, we pick up the slack and set off the customary white flash to herald our arrival. I don't look forward to being the cat translator, but promptly shift my focus to the possibility of finding something worthwhile in their dungeon instead.

'AAAagth!!! It burns! Fucking sun!'

From the very first step through the portal, we are welcomed by a horribly warm and pleasant summer afternoon, in contrast to the chilly spring night left a single step behind. The cats have grown accustomed to my flashes and didn't run away, only shielding their eyes for the few seconds.

I trample down on my reluctance and look around to adjust my eyes to the horrid sunlight.

'Mururr is much cleaner than the other critters. If they have something valuable to trade for, I should sell them some good brushes and cat shampoo.'

Everyone is just looking at everyone else without making any moves to get this over with. I give the girls a moment to stare at the alien cat things before addressing Mururr and dispelling the tension in the air.

"Valentine: Everything alright on your side?"

"Mururr: Yes. We are free to walk around for a bit before challenging the Great Balance."

We urge our respective groups to get going through the woods. It wasn't explicitly stated to me, but I assume that we are only passing by the outskirts of their village before looping back to go down to the dungeon entrance. At least that's what I figure out by seeing the planted crops and distinct lack of housing around.

"Risa: There are many eyes on us. It's hard to locate them all, but I'm fairly certain that there are many children among the ones that I CAN spot."

"Valentine: Strictly speaking, we ARE a unique exhibition for the inhabitants here. You can't fault them coming out to see foreigners for the first time ever."

"Hana: Any ideas on how many there are? I count some 30 around here."

'They are too far for me to detect, and they hide too well by using the damn foliage. Yeah, no idea.'

I'm more interested in checking what ingredients haven't made their way to me and if there's anything that they don't use themselves but could be profitable for us. I do, however, keep my hands close to the flashbangs and half of my focus is constantly on the general vibe of those present.

As we walk, I point out a few plants for Mururr to bring me whole next time, my intuition signalling that different parts can be used for different purposes. I also make a mental note to ask for intact samples instead of just getting what they process for themselves. In addition to translating some questions back and forth we aren't bored by walking in silence.

"Mururr: There, you can see the entrance from here."

"Valentine: That's their dungeon. Looks... more fancy than ours, more... religious ...maybe?"

'Holy fucking hell! Why did they decorate this THING!?'

The giant serpent gave me pause, sending goosebumps all over. I have to consciously fight my brain from sending my body jerking away in panic.

'Oh... fuck... I can guess what the predominant monster types down there are... Shit.'

"Valentine: These are the "challenges" you spoke about? Many monsters in that image?"

"Mururr: Yes. The strongest ones take the image of the first challenge. There are many more different ones too, so you need to practice many forms of combat."

"Valentine: Fuck... It's a snake dungeon."

"Hana: An idiot could have guessed that from looking at the entrance!"

We walk down the path while staring at the life-like sculpture in horror. Standing in front of it, I feel like a measly potato chip that is about to be swallowed whole by an elephant.

"Valentine: ...Ladies first."

'No fucking wonder that even the gate was so far away! This is a literal Gods-be-damned hellhole!'

I've just lost my last dregs of interest in this planet and wouldn't mind turning around this very moment. The snake entrance is giving me the creeps as strong as a mushroom infested floor, straining my nerves and rational thinking.

'There will be a deluge of poisonous... everything... everywhere, I just know it.'

Despite my visible apprehension, the headstrong women and cats march straight into the gaping maw. I curse my luck for the tenth time straight but follow behind.

'Perhaps... just perhaps, there will be some saving grace somewhere in there... .'

POV Risa

'He's meowing again. Fascinating.'

It is a sight to behold. The whole mission is. I eagerly await for them to get used to us, so that I could freely stroll in their settlement. It also didn't escape my notice that Valentine has become completely covered with a sheen of sweat and is more nervous than I've ever seen him being in the dungeon.

"Valentine: Hellhole. It's a hellhole."

I quietly ask Hana what she thinks about him mumbling ominously to himself and the situation we find ourselves in.

"Hana: Best to leave him be and make sure that nothing gets too close. We can't have a repeat of that poisonous chicken getting a drop on us."

"Risa: Yeah. I'll keep enough space clear to dodge any venomous spit flying in our direction."

We move steadily, beheading the snakes that slither aggressively in our direction and ignoring the loot. We were informed that these things leave behind mostly inedible parts and I doubt that we can't collect samples another time. Without stopping while on the most direct route, we make it through the first three jungle floors and arrive at a floor absolutely covered by huge boulders.

"Hana: Should I check from the air? There are a hundred thousand blind spots here."

"Valentine: ...meow...meow... No. There are bird-like monsters patrolling the airspace. You might pull aggro from every one of them and we don't have a good position to provide support. Also... Fuck... The respawn rate in this dungeon is unbelievably insane, between one and two hours on the top floors. ...That's the reason we have encountered so many mobs."

'It was strange to see so many monsters in an actively delved dungeon. Is it caused by the catfolk delving here for years or some natural reason? How... peculiar.'

It doesn't really matter. We can clear the mobs without breaking a sweat if we keep watch on our surroundings. However, I can see that going deeper would pose some very serious challenges. The logistics of it would be a matter of life and death without relying on a magical shortcut to get in and out to rest and resupply when needed.

"Risa: Hana, how is your maneuverability looking in this environment?"

"Hana: Tai would be more at home here, but I wasn't slacking in my training either. I will manage rapid response if it's necessary."

I leave Hana the rearguard role so that she keeps an eye on the whole group. Mururr and myself take to the front.

This is the most important part of our mission. To forge bonds of mutual respect between our people by standing shoulder to shoulder, metaphorically speaking, as we fight the monsters and return with plentiful bounty.

'What inhuman senses... She's like...well, a cat on a hunt... .'

The monsters don't stand a chance. Disregarding their attempts to hide and blend into the surroundings, Mururr leaps from side to side finding stable purchase on the rocks, then descends clawing and biting deep into their flesh before I can even register their presence. The stragglers that turn their backs to me get swiftly beheaded and are left thrashing on the ground.

We clear over twenty snake-shaped monsters in less than two minutes. The last monster took an extra strong hit to put down, its scales being more resilient than the rest. Seeing Mururr not moving forward anymore, I take a moment to look around.

The sight behind me is enough to churn my own stomach. A veritable sea of blood and grotesque movements punctuated by cracking rocks and large bodies slamming against one another. I'm lucky to have an almost empty stomach and that I can avert my eyes from it, for the sake of keeping watch of course.

'I'm not touching any of that meat for the rest of my life. Regardless of how good it might be when cooked.'

`Hiss!

At the sound of warning I raise my katana, fully charged with mana and only lacking a suitable target to unleash its fury upon.

'Shit!'

`CRACK! Crack~!!!

I make a split second decision to fall back behind some large rocks but still feel something impacting my defences. Fragments of rocks fly everywhere, as if an explosion just shattered a wall right behind me. I stick my head out to get an idea of what the fuck just attacked us as soon as the majority of the debris isn't flying my way. The scene isn't one I'd like to acknowledge to be real.

With unbelievable ease and speed, a twisted parody of a goat is dominating the environment. It's practically flying between boulders, covering five to ten meters in a single second... and worse still, it's sending AoE rock storms down on us.

"Risa: Hana! I'm pinned down! Can you flank that thing from above?!"

It isn't charging any one opponent low on the ground. Instead, it continues the assault by jumping overhead and carpet bombing us like some damn coward! I realize that this thing needs to be either trapped or swatted down like a fly, and urge Hana to do the job.

"Hana: Sit tight! I need a moment to get a read on its movement pattern!"

'Ugh! I need some way to reach tricky opponents such as those too. Mari and Juliana could have shot that thing down before it even got a lock on our position.'

I try to imagine hitting that thing while it's moving around, but my skills lack the speed to catch up and it doesn't stop for long enough get damaged by my own ranged AoE skills. It's worse than an annoying fly buzzing around your bedroom!

"Hana: Ok! I'll need to get high and go down fast!"

I give her a thumbs up and ready myself to cut it to pieces once Hana has it grounded using extreme violence. I don't have to wait long, for she takes off like a fighter jet and dives down like a falcon.

`THUNK!~

I arrive a step behind the literal wall of wind blades, that smashed the nightmarish goat monster down to the ground, to unleash unrestrained punishment. I cut off its head and bisect it in two for good measure. The beast barely got up before it ended.

"Risa: Hana, you good?"

"Hana: Eh, rough landing. The fucker reacted faster than I could move, so I had to almost face smash into the ground to get it into my range."

We begin pulling up potions to spray on our scratches and overused muscles, when another round of hissing picked up behind us. It doesn't sound good even to my ears.

"Valentine: I'm going say it: I'VE TOLD YOU SO! You've aggroed two more of the soon to be goat loin chops, so get butchering ASAP! Mururr will help to box them in. And don't move too much in the air, I don't want to be playing shell crab all day long!"

'He's not wasting any time... .'

The noncombatants grab the goat pieces and drag it to a hastily made foxhole under a boulder, covered further by some rubble that muffled the last words Valentine was shouting our way. It looks sturdy enough to weather hours of bombardment, but I don't want to be stuck in this snake pit for THAT long.

"Hana: Fucking hell. I already hate this dungeon."

"Risa: Yeah... ."

"Mururr: Mmmmrrr?"

Communicating our intentions using hand signals, we began the process of leading the goats to the killing floor and butchering them one by one. To a total of five.

'At least they stay still once you kill them. Haaa... can't say the same for the next hundred snake monsters. Gods, I hate this dungeon.'

team 6x111 presents: Ophelia / Reckless Battery Burns