Beauty and the Beast
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Once upon a time…

There was a merchant who had three daughters. The two oldest ones were kinda snobby and ditsy, and always wanted the best out of life. The youngest, named Belle, was the more quiet and studious type. Belle was her dad’s favorite.

One day, when they were all teenagers, the dad went out of town to do business. Before he left, he asked his daughters if they wanted anything from the city.

The oldest was like “Yes, I want a bolt of silk to make a dress out of!”

The middle was like “Yes, I want a set of pearl jewelry!”

And Belle was like “Nah.”

Her dad looked at her and said “Oh come on, you must want something.”

She thought about it and said “Ok then, I want a single red rose.”

Now, it was like the dead of winter or something, and roses don’t grow in winter. I think. Anyways, it was back when greenhouses weren’t really a thing, so finding a red rose was gonna be super hard. But the merchant agreed, and off he went.

He had a super sucky time in the city. All his ships sank, he was robbed, he lost an arm and a leg gamboling, and a puppy bit him. Just, nothing went right. After like a month of hoping things got better and everything getting worse, he gave up and went home. He was sad he hadn’t been able to get any of the things his daughters wanted.

On his way home, a big blizzard hit. Just to make sure all the “sucky trip” boxes were checked. He got lost in the forest, which is usually a death sentence, but suddenly he found himself at the gates of an ancient castle. 

He was like “Wellp, not gonna question this!” And walked right in.

On the other side of the walls, the weather felt like it was spring. The blizzard wasn’t raging here, and it actually felt kinda warm. It was wonderful. He wandered through the garden to the keep, amazed at all the beautiful flowers. When he got to the door of the keep and knocked, it just swung open. Still questioning nothing, he walked in and found a fireplace with a nice, warm fire burning. I mean, fires are by default warm, but-

Anyways, there was a big comfy chair and a pot of tea and some sandwiches in front of the fire. The merchant presumed the owner of the castle was just, super thoughtful and shy, and had left all this here for him. So he plopped his butt down and dug in. 

Like ten minutes later, the owner of the castle appeared. He was a huge, ugly monster, somewhere between a dragon and a buffalo. He glared at the merchant, demanding to know why he’d just wandered in and started eating dinner.

The merchant… was kind of inarticulate for a while.

The Beast was like “Well, you’ve seen me, so you’re gonna have to stay here forever now.

The merchant was like “But I don’t want to! I have a family to get back to!”

The Beast asked “Family? Got any daughters?”

The merchant was like “...Maybe?”

Eventually they agreed that the merchant could spend the night and go, but in two weeks he’d have to send one of his daughters back to be a permanent resident of the castle. As he was leaving, the merchant remembered Belle’s request, and asked for a single rose from the garden. The Beast agreed, and off the merchant went.

When he got home, his daughters were all thrilled he was still alive. This was back in the Cinderella time, when it was illegal for women to have money or jobs, so they were kind of screwed without him. Anyways, he tearfully explained that his buisness had gone under, and they were broke, and he’d kind of traded one of them into slavery, and all he had to show for it was a single rose.

His wife and daughters (I presume his wife was still alive, I don’t think she was specifically mentioned, but that doesn’t really mean anything) were horrified by the news. They were happy he was alive, sure, but everything else was kinda super bad. He asked how they were going to decide which daughter was going to live with the Beast, like drawing straws or musical chairs or something, when Belle volunteered to go.

Her dad was like “Nooo not you, you don’t have to volunteer!”

And she was like “I mean, you went through all that trouble to get me a rose, I have to do something for you now!”

And her sisters were like “Yes we fully support you in your volunteering.”

The days passed, and Belle was determined to go. Her dad was still pretty sad about it, but he couldn’t convince her to unvolunteer. After two weeks she said goodbye to her family, and her dad took her to the Beast’s castle.

Ok so, admittedly, I’ve read like two versions of this story and both are super different from each other and the Disney version. It’s been a long time since then, and my memory is fuzzy, but I’ll try to make it as cohesive as possible.

So, Belle moved into the castle. She met the Beast, but he kinda kept out of her way. He was lonely and wanted a friend, sure, but also he’d been living alone for like a decade and had kinda lost his ability to communicate, which is a mood. He gave Belle her own room, and told her to wander around as much as she wanted, just keep out of one of the towers. Oh yeah and don’t leave.

So she did. She found a room full of mirrors, and a room full of puppets, and a room full of ornamental birds. She found a room that was full of old clothes, and got permission to alter them to fit her. So she put on puppet shows and talked to the birds and spent a lot of time sewing, and overall didn’t have too bad of a time. 

Then one fateful night, she decided to go out for a midnight stroll in the gardens. The roses were all blooming, and smelled super good. There was a bridge over a small stream, and standing on that bridge was the hottest dude she’d ever seen. Like, dang girl, he was fine.

She was like “Whaaa I haven’t seen you before, do you come here often?”

And he was like “...I …Umm… I’m only here at night. Yep.”

And she was like “I can be here at night! We can meet every night! Does that sound like a good idea, or like a great idea?” …Belle wasn’t really all that quick on the uptake.

Anyways, he was fine with meeting her every night, and she quickly became nocturnal. She didn’t see the Beast around all that much any more, but then she hadn’t seen him all that much to begin with.

A couple months passed, like a dozen, and very slowly the flowers started to change. They went from being spring flowers to being summer flowers. This happened rediculously slowly, because of magic.

On the one-year anniversary of her being in the Beast’s castle, her sister came to visit. They talked for a while, catching up, and then her sister broke the news. Their dad was sick, and probably dying. He hadn’t managed to get his business up and running again, so they were all living in poverty. He was about to kick the bucket, leaving everyone totally screwed. 

Belle went to the Beast and was like “Hey, so, I know I’m a prisoner here and all, but can I leave for a couple weeks?”

And Beast was like “Two weeks. Not a day more.”

She was thrilled about that, and pinky promised to come back in two weeks. Beast even gave her like a bucket of gold for the journey. Her sister wanted to leave immediately, so they did. Even though Belle felt bad about ghosting the hot dude.

When she got home, her dad nearly had a heart attack from joy. He was super thrilled to see her again, and immediately got better. Well, being able to pay a doctor to come visit probably helped, too. They spent a wonderful ten days together, and then Belle broke the news that she was going back to the castle.

Her dad was like “Nooo if you leave I’ll get sick and die again!”

And she was like “But I pinky promised!”

And he was like “Would you really rather be there, all alone with a buffalo dragon, than here with your family?”

She didn’t want to mention the hot dude who may or may not have been her boyfriend at that point, so she was like “Ehh ok I’ll stay three weeks. But no more.”

So she stayed three weeks. At the end of that, they had basically the same conversation again, and she agreed to extend her stay to a full month.

At the end of the month she was like “Nope, this time I really have to go back. No way around it. There’s something super important I have to do there.”

Her dad complained a lot, but eventually he agreed to let her go.

She went back to the castle, and found it the same as when she’d left. She tried to find the Beast, but he was nowhere to be found. So at dusk she went into the garden to the bridge, to wait for the hot dude to show up.

When she got to the bridge, she found the Beast on the bridge! He was dying!

He was like “You broke your promise!” And then, as the sun set, he transformed into the hot dude.

Belle was like “Whaaa?”

He explained to her that this castle was (no duh) under a curse! He’d pissed off a witch once, and she’d cursed him to look like a buffalo dragon during the day and himself at night. She’d also given him only one year to live, so he’d asked a good witch to put a second curse on the castle, to make time go as slow as possible. All of the servants had been turned into puppets, and all the animals into ornamental birds. He’d calculated the time, and this was his last day alive. If time moved normally he’d already be dead, but as it was it’d take a couple more hours. If she’d come back when he’d asked, he could have explained all this just as the dying process started.

Belle was super sorry she’d broken her promise, and asked if there was any way of breaking the curse.

Lucky for them, there was! The thing to break the curse was true love’s kiss.

So they made out, the curse was broken, everything went back to normal, they got married and lived happily ever after.

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