It was just another day in the life of Stanley, a rather short introverted man who spends the majority of his time inside the spacious home he bought and paid off. He stood at 5ft tall with long greasy black hair, his boyish face made him reminiscent of a highschool freshman and he had bags under his dark eyes from staying up late playing online games.

A yawn escaped his lips as he finished shit posting online, he couldn’t even remember why he was doing it but somehow it just felt right trolling this nerd. His room was currently a mess, with some laundry piled in one corner, his bed sheets scattered, open snack packs, takeout boxes and soda cans laying on and around his workspace, ie the computer desk.

The time was currently 5am which was around the time he usually fell asleep anyway so having conducted his business he wheeled himself across to the door, left his work room and travelled upstairs to his bedroom where he proceeded to plop himself down on the bed and sleep the morning away.

…

…

THUD!

Stanley jolted up at the sound something crashing off the roof, he could vaguely hear something landing in his backyard. He really didn’t want to get out of bed but luckily being the paranoid sort he was he had long since installed security cameras in and around the place. So reaching for his tablet on the nightstand he opened the app connecting to cameras and tapped the one in the backyard to see what was…shit…

“Shit” he spoke out looking at the screen suddenly becoming very awake.

There was a person sprawled out on his backyard, a woman if he’s looking at it right and she was dressed oddly but that didn’t subtract from the fact that there was person who may or may not have fell from his roof currently in his backyard.

“Fuck me”

And she wasn’t moving which could mean she might be dead.

“Fuck me sideways” he rolled himself off the bed and started to make his way to the back. After pulling away the blinds and hissing at the sun like the urban vampire he was Stanley slid the doors open and was met with a bizarre sight. Upon laying eyes on the unknown woman passed out in his yard a single thought crossed his mind.

‘She is HUGE!’

His jaw dropped, he wasn’t all that handy with measurements but just from eyeing her she must have covered at least six feet or something. He could tell she was taller than that one guy he knew played basket ball in college. Oh and uh, there was also that other thing about her BIG OL’ TITTIES!

“Holy Shit” he said with more interest as he took a closer look at those melons. And he meant melons because her breasts were bigger than his head.

He’d seen some big tits on pornstars (being a reclusive virgin certain sites were perused extensively on a near daily basis) but none of those flesh wrapped plastics could compare to these, if only for the simple fact that they look completely natural.

Whoa. Mind. Blown.

“How is this even possible?”

As he tried to wrap his mind around the biology of such a thing he almost felt remiss to notice just why his brain came to such a conclusion. After all he was not some kind of Super! Pervert who could tell a woman's breast size with a mere glance, this wasn’t like anime. He realized it was the way she was dressed or rather the lack of one. This wasn’t anime but she sure dressed like it was one.

Her attire was all black leather and consisted of thigh high ‘fuck me’ boots, a thong bikini bottom, a customized corset that left her flat stomach exposed and secured most of the bottom half of her massive chest with though just barely as the laces criss-crossing over her cleavage looked like they were straining to hold her top together. That’s not even mentioning that the thing barely covered above her nipples leaving her cleavage totally exposed in a boob window that would make Power Girl’s costume look decent.

It looked like just one wrong bounce could either. a) make her top become undone or. B) cause her tits to spill out over the boob window.

Her outfit was so distracting he almost missed the other parts which make up her aesthetic. Those being; the spaded tail, white wings coming from behind her waist and the horns curving around her head like a crown. Oh and her hair was somehow dyed white, like snow white.

“That is some hardcore cosplaying” he mumbled to himself looking at the life like appendages.

Funny he didn’t recognize the character she was supposedly copying. He also hadn’t heard of any conventions in town recently and perhaps the most important question, what was a cosplayer doing in his backyard so early in the morning?

As he mulled over the question his eyes finally caught her face and he was almost struck by how beautiful she was. She looked so peaceful and pretty with her breaths coming out in steady puffs causing her chest rise and wobble and bounce a little (huh?) and her pouty lips that he just wanted to see wrapped around his co-

“Whoa what?” he looked around as if there was someone else around writing down his thoughts for him.

…?

He needed to focus. Now despite what this girl may look like, it was very clear she took a nasty fall or she just got punch drunk and passed out. Or both. At least he confirmed she was alive, the last thing he needed was to explain to a cop how he, a reclusive virgin and otaku with no friends and a library of hentai saved on his hard drive found a dead girl cosplaying as a supernatural hooker in his backyard early in the morning.

Oh he could just picture how that conversation would go.

“She fell from the sky and landed in my backyard officer, I swear I’m innocent!”

Wait, how long was he out here ogling an unconscious girl instead of helping her?

“Shit” his eyes swiveled around again, looking for anyone who might have wondered what that sound was and went to investigate their creepy neighbors house.

“Gotta hide the body”

Poor choice of words he later realized but his cringe was hidden beneath his grunt as he attempted to lift her up bridal style. That went about as well as how one would expect an out of shape middle schooler lifting up a sack of heavy potatoes to go. Needless to say he may have gotten her an inch or two off the ground before falling back and dropping her.

“God damn she’s heavy”

He tried a different approach and attempted to drag her by holding under her armpits only to collapse after nearly throwing his back out. After a minute or two of panting and silent contemplation he went back in, drank a can of energy drink and came back out with some dirty bedsheets he got from the hamper.

What, he’s not wasting clean sheets on some drunk cosplayer.

So after rolling her onto the sheets he began toiling away at pulling her inside. The sheets compensated for his lack of upper body strength very nicely and the few bumps that did occur were cushioned by the pillowy flesh of her chesticles.

Another couple of minutes, another two cans of generic energy drinks and Stanley found himself staring at the unconscious girl’s backside which was now turned to him. To be fair she did have a nice ass but astonishingly he was more concerned with the tail just above her behind and the wings just above those. See the thing is those don’t seem to be attached to her uh, ‘fetish costume’ so to speak.

A stray thought came to him at that moment. One that could only come from a man who has viewed way too much anime and manga (and hentai, naturally) that it skewed his perception and expectations of the cold cruel and mundane reality that was his life. The thought was as follows:

‘What if she’s an actual monster lady and her falling off the roof was her exiting a portal from another dimension?’

Now any sane rational man would have dismissed the thought but Stanley has not experienced the real world for many, many moons due to his conditioning as well as the circumstances of his reclusive nature and lack of social interaction outside of the internet. As such he did not immediately dismiss these thoughts and instead decide to simply ‘roll with it.’

His hand reached out to the closest thing of hers near him, the tail. He casually grabbed it by the spade and gently rubbed his thumb across it. Two things happened, well three things actually, the first being that aside from being remarkably nice to the touch Stanley could feel an actual pulse in the spade and that in turn made his rise. The second thing to happen was that the woman gave the most erotic moan he had ever heard in his life.

He’s talking pornstar orgasm type shit.

The third thing to happen as he stared slack jawed at the woman was for the tail to wiggle and slip from his numb hand and for the girl to settle on her side and curl up, her wings visibly shifting to account for the change in position. For a long moment Stanley simply stared at the gorgeous woman, all sound drowned out save for the steadily increasing beat of his heart. He felt both cold and warm at the same time and light headed as his mind finally caught up to him.

There was an actual succubus and/or sexy demon lady lounging in his living room.

What would you do?

He let out a laugh, almost as broken as his view on reality before answering that age old question posed by people to authors on fanfiction sites.

‘There’s only one thing to do’

And so it was that Stanley began to pull the slumbering not-human back outside to his backyard where he will then lock all the doors and windows, pull up all the blinds and hide out in his room behind a barricade of furniture, a week supply of rations (ie takeout food, snacks and soda) and his trusty electronics in an effort to bleach his mind of the last hour and pass out in a food coma hopefully to wake up in a few hours with short term memory loss.

Unfortunately the first step of his plan which was to get the body out of the house came to a screeching halt and not because of the lack of energy. He froze once he heard a yawn behind him.

‘No.’

Ever so slowly he turned around, cold sweat forming, heart rate spiking and blood rushing to his ears as he witnessed a most terrifying and alluring (…huh?) sight. Her eyes, he was staring at her eyes which were as red as rubies and seem to burn in the pit of her coal colored sclera.  And yet her face was the kind of beauty that expresses equal parts temptation and…innocence? Yes believe it or not that was what he saw as she sat on her knees while sleepily regarding him with an inquisitive stare.

For a few agonizing moments they did nothing, Stanley too shell shocked to move while the girl seemed to be fighting off the last dredges of sleep which she eventually did. Eyes wide the woman regarded him with an aware curiosity rather than an absentminded one. It looked as if she was expecting something the way how she looked at him with such intensity.

Of either of them Stanley proved to be the weaker and so he opted to break the silence. Also her stare was downright unnerving with those creepy colored eyes. So plastering on his most charming smile which naturally wasn’t and came off as fragile as his confidence at that moment he spoke as eloquently as possible.

“C-could you please stop at staring at me, it’s really creepy.”

Shit that was not what he meant to say!