When Stan went to go get his laptop he didn’t see Ezraphel in their newly shared room but wasn’t alarmed by her disappearance. She said she was going to get her kitchenware which was back at the house because he sure as shit knew she didn’t pack those in the bag. He simply retrieved the items he affectionately dubbed the LAN party starter kit. This included a laptop, charger, headphones, mouse, controller and his portable Wi-Fi router. After getting those he went back downstairs where everyone was gathered.

Before getting started they rearranged the furniture in the living room, set up their personal Wi-Fi router and plugged their various electronics into a surge protector. It took them about fifteen minutes to set everything up before they were ready to begin.

“What’s taking Ezraphel so long?”

“No idea, probably forgot where she packed her stuff” Stan dismissed to get to the point of this gathering “more importantly what are we doing first?”

“Warzone” Kendrick suggested.

“I am so sick and tired of COD” Kendall griped.

Amelia frowned “aren’t you going to check on her?”

“Ezraphel’s a big girl” he spoke up dismissively before suggesting “how about Valorant.”

“Let’s just nix shooters” Liam spoke up to which Amelia elbowed him in the side “what?”

“He doesn’t want to check up on his girlfriend” she hissed.

Stan scowled “are we seriously holding up this thing to talk about this shit?”

Amelia frowned “it’s the principle Stan.”

“Holy fuck balls you are being serious.”

“Stop being an asshole and go help Ezraphel.”

“How I handle my relationship is none of your business Amelia. You don’t see me sharing my fountain of knowledge with Liam about how to establish coping mechanisms for handling you.”

“That’s because Liam knows better than to listen to you for relationship advice.”

“And I know better than to listen to you for relationship advice.”

“I’m sorry are we doing this LAN party or what?” Kendall interrupted before looking to other men who have kept largely silent “why the hell aren’t you two saying anything?”

“You know why” Liam spoke jerking his head in Amelia’s direction.

Point taken.

She turned to Kendrick “and what’s your excuse?”

The man shrugged “hey whether its playing games or watching them argue either way I’m entertained” his lopsided smirk vanished in the face of her scowl causing him to continue in a hasty tone “though-and I can’t believe I’m saying this- I agree with Stan here Ezraphel’s a grown woman and how they handle their relationship is none of our business.”

 Amelia looked between the three of them then her fiancé who could only offer a hopeless shrug.

“Ugh, I swear you people are hopeless.”

“What is up with you today? Is it that time of the month?”

*SCREEECH*

And that was the sound of the entire room coming to a screeching halt. Now Kendall was scowling at Stan while the other two men looked at him as if he were a madman. For Stan’s part he had an uncharacteristically clinical expression and that was in the face of Amelia’s look of murderous rage. For a long moment the two locked eyes with each other before Amelia visibly collected herself to give a response.

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“Say wha” that was Kendrick.

“I’m on my period” Amelia folded her arms “that a problem?”

“Nope, no problems here” he quickly backtracked.

Amelia rolled her eyes before pinning him with an inquisitive stare “how did you know?”

Sure the comment sounded like the kind of ignorant, crass and uncaring thing Stan would say just to piss her off but the way he said it and the look he gave her told a different story.

At the question Stan cringed “let’s just say I’m ah familiar with the symptoms.”

A glance at Liam had the man nodded in solidarity.

“Great!” Kendall interrupted loudly “now that we got that out of the way can we get back to why we’re really here?”

“…fine” Amelia spoke begrudgingly.

“Thank God” Stan sarcastically replied.

“Stan if you keep egging her on I swear to god…”

He raised his hands “I get it, I get it!”

“Good, now where were we?”

“Liam was saying we nix shooters” Kendrick answered before looking to the man “why no shooters brah?”

“Because whenever we play COD, Valorant, Halo or any FPS it always ends up being an uncomfortable sweat fest with you and Stan.”

“Pussy” Stan commented.

“I’m not apologizing for wanting to actually have fun.”

“You know what? Liam has a point” Kendall chimed in “why don’t we just play New World?”

“Haven’t played that in a minute” Kendrick admitted with Amelia nodding.

However the look of disgust on Liam and Stan’s faces got her attention “what? What’s wrong with New World?”

“What isn’t wrong with that fucking game” Stan scowled muttered.

Liam elaborated “bugs, exploits, servers that can’t support the players, long cue times-”

“Basically the games a fucking shit show right now” Stan surmised.

“You’d think since Bezos is shilling out a billion for Rings of Power he could afford to get some better support for his company’s first Triple-A game.”

“In his defense it’s Lord of The Rings.”

“You playing devil’s advocate for Jeff Bezos?”

“I’m just saying its Lord of The Rings so…”

“All the money in the world isn’t going to save a show from shitty writing. You know they fired their Tolkien historian right?” Kendrick commented.

“For real?”

“And they legally can’t ask for input from Peter Jackson or anyone who worked on the films.”

“Fuck! That’s tragic, R.I.P Rings of Power.”

“Word” And with that they both lowered their heads in a moment of silence for the death of the IP.

“I’m just going to go ahead and suggest Valheim before Kendall kills you two” Liam commented getting a round of nods from the two ladies.

“Ugh, too tedious” Kendall complained “let’s just nix RPGs while we’re at it.”

“First no FPS and now no RPGs, where do you want it?” Stan complained.

“Is the concept of a fun party game for us to play so difficult to understand?” Amelia questioned sarcastically.

“Well shit how about Rocket League then?”

“That’s actually not a bad idea” Amelia spoke then realized what she said and cringed.

Unfortunately for her Stan caught on “are you agreeing with me Amelia?”

“I take it back.”

“No take backs!” he cackled “you all heard her, she agrees with me!”

Amelia stared at him for a moment before turning to the other woman in the room “you’re my last hope Kendall.”

“Among Us.”

The answer had Amelia drop her head onto her laptop keyboard with a muffled groan “nooo~”

“Oof” Kendrick winced mirthfully.

“Well it seems your hope was misplaced.”

“Shut up Stan” Kendall snapped lightly “and you didn’t let me finish. I found some mods we could use.”

Liam looked between Kendrick and Stan the two who were the most plugged into the gaming scene “do the mods make a difference?”

“I haven’t played Among Us for almost a year now” Stan admitted.

“The Among Us modding community do go hard” Kendrick commented “haven’t checked the latest but they did have some pretty good stuff. I think it’s worth a shot.”

“Fuck it I’m in, unless someone else has something better.”

“Fall Guys?” Amelia threw out and the answer was immediate.

“NO!”

Amelia looked to her fiancé “e’tu Liam?”

“Babe I’m sorry but just…no.”

“Why? Sure it’s old but the game still slaps.”

The others looked amongst themselves because it’s not that the game wasn’t a solid party game but…

“Clearly you forgot the last time we played Fall Guys together” Kendrick commented.

Everyone remembered that because it was the first and last time Amelia outclassed Stan with the number of curses spewed in rapid and creatively vile ways. Amelia was at least self-aware enough to realize this as a faint blush appeared on her cheeks.

“Oh…”

“Of all the games to have an epic gamer rage moment over you choose Fall Guys of all things.”

Amelia went to retort only to be stopped by Liam putting a hand over her mouth “hmph?”

“Nope we are not having this argument” he spoke sternly “let’s just set up the game and be done with it.”

Kendrick looked at the time “by the way should we be concerned that neither Jamie nor Ezraphel have come back down yet?”

“Well speak of the devil here she comes now” Stan suddenly spoke up and at the end of the sentence Ezraphel came into the room holding a bundle in her hand.

“What took you so long Ez? Amelia and Kendrick were getting worried” he called out.

“Sorry, I couldn’t remember where I packed my apron” she placed the bundle on the counter.

“You don’t say” he said while giving a not so surreptitious glance to Amelia.

In response Amelia did the mature thing and stuck her tongue out at him.

“You didn’t happen to see Jamie while you were coming down did you?”

Ezraphel answered while securing her apron “I can’t say I have.”

“Should we be concerned for his safety?” Kendrick questioned.

“Jamie’s fine” Stan dismissed “I’d be more worried about the toilet though.”

“Shit”

“Exactly.”

Jamie chose that moment to enter the room carrying his own laptop and gaming electronics.

“I heard someone was talking shit.”

“Well, well, well the toilet slayer has returned” Stan smirked “I hesitate to ask but what’s the damage?”

“Am I going to need a hazmat suit and ten cans of Lysol?” Kendrick added.

Jamie took a seat “don’t get your panties in a twist the porcelain throne is unharmed.”

“Thank God.”

“So what are we playing?”

“Among Us” Kendall answered.

Jamie paused for a moment “you guys are really lost without me aren’t you?”

“Shut up we’re playing with Mods.”

“Better” as he set up his laptop Jamie briefly glanced in the direction of the kitchen before turning his attention to Stan “hey Stan?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you by any chance pick out Ezraphel’s clothes?”

“More like the other way around” Amelia interrupted.

“What she said” Stan admitted much to her mild surprise to which he rolled his eyes “Ezraphel is big into fashion so she picks out her own clothes. I’m just the guy who pays for them…for better or worse” he grumbled out at the end.

“Oh…well that’s something.”

“Why?”

“Just thinking that she an interesting choice of apron to wear” and as he said this he was staring in the direction of the kitchen prompting everyone else to do the same.

“Hey Ez can you get out here for a minute.”

A moment later Ezraphel walked into the room “what is it Stanley?”

The moment she entered the room Stan face palmed while the others…

Liam was the first to react “whoa.”

Kendrick could only stare blankly “bruh.”

Amelia had a grin on her face while shaking her head in appreciation “nice~”

Kendall gave a deadpan look of exasperation “really?”

Ezraphel was confused by their reactions knowing that they were staring at her body but since that was par for the course she was completely oblivious to the fact that they were actually reacting to the words emblazoned proudly on her apron.

Fuck The Cook ♥

So as she stood there looking confused Stan could only utter a single sentence that was his go to for expression his exasperation with his girlfriend’s antics.

“God dammit Ez.”