Three heroes. Off on their first quest.
Three hot teens in an adventuring party, making use of Joanna's secret passage, sneaking into the castle to broker a peace between the Vampires and the Minotaur.
"This is what life's all about," thought Joanna.
Her recent experiences (being branded a dirty slut by the whole village, having all her hopes for the future destroyed, having all her fondest childhood memories invalidated, having her best friend get together with a violent and abusive rapist, and being coerced into painal with a man five times her age) had been a pretty bad time. Nobody could have blamed her if she'd followed her mother, grandmother and step-mother's examples and suicided herself.
But look at her now! Dating the girlie with the biggest teats in the village, and off on an exciting adventure.
"Not bad for a ginger tomboy whore," she told herself, "Keep winning, Joanna Bolliger."
Since she'd committed herself to standing against the cruel logic of the Lands of Lust and Pain with compassion and radical kindness, Joanna was feeling pretty good about herself. And looking at her comrades and reflecting on their quest made her feel even better.
Their quest was noble and just! Resolving the Minotaur's pointless crusade against the vampires would save the village from dissolution and ruin.
And the three of them were so fucking hot! And looked even hotter together. Before they'd headed down into The Grinigog's secret passage they'd all posed as an adventuring party in front of the big mirror in the taproom and got so hyped about how they looked as a team.
Tatiana, a few years older than the others and with a well-developed womanly body. Curls of butter blonde hair. Her cute, short milkmaid's dress showed off her ample thighs and sometimes gave you a glimpse of her ass cheeks jiggling as she walked.
Joanna, with her flat chest, big spectacles, and ginger pixie cut, was the perfect little skinny tomboy bitch with just the right seasoning of nerd girl. Right then she felt like the perfect version of who she was and, if she could have, she would have climbed right into the mirror and fucked her reflection while her friends watched.
Nicola looked like a cool and catty little twink. Short but swooshy black hair, electric eyes, and an adorable little pink pee-pee. He...sorry...she, was a little confusing to Joanna. Nicola used she/her pronouns and was non-binary but still identified as a 'boy' because she felt aligned with masculinity. Joanna didn't really understand much of that, but she guessed she didn't have to understand it to respect it. And whatever was happening with Nicola's way of linguistically expressing her identity, her presentation was super cute. Nicola would certainly have been mistaken for a 'femboy' in universes where that concept existed, but it didn't in this one since the Idea Wars.
Joanna wasn't really attracted to Nicola1yet but had got real wet watching her suck on Tatiana's tit. Loving, consensual sibling incest made Joanna's clitty throb. She always wished she'd had a sister of her own to grow up with, but both of hers had suicided years ago.
"We're amazing," Joanna had said looking at the three of them in that big mirror.
"Yeah," agreed Nicola, "I guess we are."
They had no way of knowing that neither of them, as living human beings, would ever leave Castle Vesh.
None of them would ever leave the cellar of The Willowish Grinigog at this rate.
The door to the secret passage wouldn't open.
It had no visible locks.
"I've seen papa open it a thousand times," said Joanna. "He just gives it a little push and it swings open."
There wasn't even a door handle. It was just a swing door that wasn't swinging.
"This is so weird," said Nicola. "Is is like a magic vampire door, or something?"
"Yeah, like maybe it only opens for your pops?" wondered Tatiana.
Joanna gave it a pointless kick.
"I don't think so," she considered, "He showed me it because he expects I'll run the Grin some day and have to do all this shit. So it's gotta be able to open for me, right?"
The Innkeeper didn't especially want to leave The Willowish Grinigog to his dumb whore daughter, but the better options had all suicided.
"So, maybe the enchantment is like 'only the Innkeeper can pass through the door' and you'll only be able to use it once you've inherited..." Nicola was halfway to formulating a plan to murder Joanna's father and bring that day about. She could be overly task-focused.
Joanna said she didn't think that could be it. She knew Jadwiga, the bar wench, had used it one time when the Vesh clan were hosting some vampires visiting from New Confidence and needed a sweet pudding wine in an emergency. The kind of sticky, lemony white that folks from the capital loved.
"Maybe...it only lets you though if you're taking something the vampires want? It's the delivery door so perhaps you gotta have deliveries?"
"We're not taking them a baby!" said Tatiana, putting that limit down.
"Oh my god, Tatty!" gasped Joanna. "The Inn does not deliver them babies. What the fuck?"
Nicola explained that the Burgrave always personally flew around the neighbouring villages to select the tastiest looking newborns. Not that he ate any himself, the Burgrave lived off the blood of Nicola and a few other twinks he was seeing more casually, but he liked to take the best back to his wives.
"Yeah, it's just wine and drugs for his lesbian wives," Joanna explained, "That's all they really want from the village."
"And carol singers when it's Christmas," added Nicola.
"Ha, yeah."
"Well, let's try it!" Tatiana was eager to get going.
The Milkmaid picked up a bag of weed.
The Innkeeper's Kind Flat-Chested Tomboy Slut Daughter picked up a bottle of red wine.
The Enboy started singing "Away in a Manger."
The door opened and they all passed through together.
Joanna emerged from the door alone. Holding her wine bottle and standing in Castle Vesh's wine cellar.
"Shit."
She'd assumed that the 'secret passage' from The Grin to the castle was just some tunnel under the mountain. Now she was thinking the Delivery Door was more like some kind of portal. She'd brought wine and been deposited in the wine cellar...
...so presumably Tatiana was wherever weed was meant to be delivered...
...and Nicola was wherever Christmas carols were appropriate. Which wasn't really anywhere since it was October.
The immediately important thing, from her perspective, was that the three hot, but powerless, teenagers were each lost and alone in a castle full of deadly monsters. Four vampires and a Minotaur on a killing spree.
Joanna had a terrible life, an extensive family history of suiciding, and had her childhood dream of turning into a fairy stolen from her, leaving her with nothing to hope for. You might think she wouldn't care much about making it out of the castle alive.
But she did. She loved Tatiana. She loved the promise of their life together. She enjoyed hanging out with Nicola and getting used to her weird sense of humour. She longed to find out how far her new, big "being compassionate and giving" strategy could get her in life.
Joanna Bolliger knew she would never now become a real fairy, that she'd never get out of this cruel village, and that everyone would always think she was a nasty, dirty slut. She knew the road ahead was hard. Life wasn't easy for a flat-chested ginger tomboy in a quasi-medieval setting. If she was honest, she expected she'd relapse one or twice with the self-harm somewhere along the way. There was a life of trials and troubles ahead of Joanna Bolliger.
But there would be happiness too. And companionship. And her beautiful girlfriend's big fat tits.
For all those reasons, and many more, the Innkeeper's daughter was resolved not to die at the hand of this castle's strange monsters. She would find her incestuous polycule, save the day, and walk out alive and proud!
No vampire or minotaur would stop her! And yet. There is one monster in Castle Vesh who is not a vampire or a minotaur. Can you remember who, dear reader?
Joanna could hear sounds of screaming and fighting coming from nearby. They sounded like they were coming from elsewhere in the cellars. It was probably best to find the Lever siblings before trying to intervene in anything like that, so she took the staircase up.
Which brought her to a corridor.
Which brought her to a door.
Which brought her to a library.
She glanced round quickly to see if her friends were her or for any sign that they had passed through. It seemed unlikely. There was no particular reason for the Delivery Door to have deposited either a weed dealer or a carol singer in the library, but it was worth checking and...
Holy shit!
There, discarded on the table, was a copy of 'Discourse On The Manner and Manners of the Fair Folk', one of the three books she'd traded her besthole to acquire. This one was a common tome, so there was nothing really extraordinary about seeing it here, but it still rattled Joanna to be confronted with it.
"The Fey are cruel tricksters ever," she whispered to herself. The harsh truth that volume contained.
The fairy who had played with her when she was a loli, who had given her her sweetest and more beautiful childhood memories, had viciously and spitefully burned the third book she'd got herself assfucked to get.
The fairy she'd loved and trusted had watched her get humiliatingly defiled up her tight teen anus, while burning before her eyes the copy of 'How To Literally Become a Fairy' that the whole ordeal had been for.
A cruel trickster indeed.
In that moment... the firelight flickering in her eyes, the Miller's cock running wild up her dry shitpipe, the book in flames, the fairy looking on... Joanna had lost so much. She'd lost her dreams.
Forever?
Nothing is forever. If anything was forever there wouldn't be a Serpent Nesting Inside The Queen of Forfeiture's Womb. There couldn't be.
Everything is lost. And that includes the feeling that everything is lost.
Joanna Bolliger looked up from the table towards the bookshelf.
One particular title on one particular spine jumped out at her.
'How To Literally Become a Fairy.'
Only two copies of that book had ever been printed inside Linear Time. Joanna Bolliger had lost the first.
She had just found the second.
