![](https://cdn.scribblehub.com/seriesimg/mid/19/mid_399229.jpg)
Is there any way for me to see better down here? Maybe I can do something with the water to make it easier for me to see? I try changing the properties of the water around me so that it is easier for light to reach down to me. After a few tries, the area around me gets brighter and easier to see. Now being able to see better I continue exploring in more detail looking around at the rock walls in case anything is living in there. As I go down I come across something I didn’t expect and might have missed without the extra light. There is something swimming that looks like one of the mer-people. However, they don’t seem to be able to see me but I think they can sense me probably from movement in the water.
“Hello. Who are you?”(Xyrra)
The mer-person hesitates before replying.
“I am Aquilus a dark merman.”(Aquilus)
A dark merman? Are they related to the other merpeople or did they evolve independently?
“What are you doing out here?”(Xyrra)
“I came out to hunt for food for my village but I haven’t been able to find anything.”(Aquilus)
“Ah, that might be my fault. I may have scared all the fish away.”(Xyrra)
“I thought that might have been a possibility. I thought you were going to eat me.”(Aquilus)
“I would never do that. Now let me help you.”(Xyrra)
I reach out my magic to the surrounding fish and call them to me. A minute or so later a huge swarm of fish surrounds me. Aquilus looks at them with eagerness and hunger.
“Take as many as you want for your village.”(Xyrra)
Aquilus doesn’t reply and just dives at the fish catching as many as he can before they swim away. He has claws and sharp teeth that he uses to catch and kill them. Eventually, he stops holding many different types of fish.
“Have you got enough?”(Xyrra)
“This should last the village a few days. Than you.”(Aquilus)
“It was my fault for scaring them away in the first place. Would it be possible to show me the way to your village?”(Xyrra)
“For helping me I will show you the way. How did you get them here anyway?”(Aquilus)
Should I tell him? I don’t think I will for now at least.
“That’s a secret young one maybe I will tell you later.”(Xyrra)
-----
I follow Aquilus for a long time until I start to see what might be in the village. The houses are caves like the other merpeople but are simpler probably due to the darkness and not being able to see them. I can see about ten caves so far.
“Here we are.”(Aquilus)
He swims ahead of me towards the village.
“I’m back everyone.”(Aquilus)
As He calls out other merpeople come out of the caves rushing over to him.
“We were so worried about you. You were out for much longer than usual where were you?”(??)
“Sorry mum but I couldn’t find any fish until I came across the nice lady here.”(Aquilus)
As he says this the one he called his mother looks over at me but I don’t think they can see me in the darkness.
“Somehow she called a large group of fish towards us that I was able to catch easily.”(Aquilus)
“Thank you for helping my son. My name is Avalon.”(Avalon)
“It wasn’t a problem I was passing by anyway.”(Xyrra)
“You still helped him and the entire village as well. Is there any way we can repay you?”(Avalon)
“Just knowing that you are here is payment enough.”(Xyrra)
“What do you mean?”(Avalon)
“I thought that all life in the sea was gone until I found then merpeople, the fish down here and now all of you.”(Xyrra)
“Wait merpeople. Do you mean the ones who live near the surface in the light?”(Avalon)
“I do”(Xyrra)
“THOSE TRAITORS ARE STILL ALIVE.”(Avalon)
Her personality just did a complete one-eighty. I can see the rage and the anger on her face. What happened between them?
“ARE YOU WORKING WITH THEM?”(Avalon)
“I talked to their queen but that’s it.”(Xyrra)
“YOU LIE THE ONLY OTHERS LIKE US ARE THE MERPEOPLE OF LIGHT. THEY SENT YOU TO KILL US ONCE AND FOR ALL DIDN’T THEY.”(Avalon)
“What do you mean?”(Xyrra)
“ALL MER PEOPLE USED TO LIVE NEAR THE SURFACE BUT AS THE SEAS GOT MORE DANGEROUS SOME SUGGESTED THAT WE GO DEEPER TO TAKE SHELTER FROM IT. ONE OF THEM WAS THE KING AT THE TIME. HOWEVER, ONE PERSON TOOK THIS AS A OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE TE THRONE THEMSELVES. THEY GAINED SUPPORT AND OPPOSED THE KING WHICH RESULTED IN A CIVIL WAR WITH THE KING LOST. THE KING AND HIS FOLLOWERS WERE EXILED TO THE DEPTHS OF THE SEA AND OVER TIME EVOLVED INTO US THE DARK MERPEOPLE. OUR PEOPLE WERE BETRAYED BY THE MERPEOPLE OF LIGHT AND NOW WE LIVE DOWN HERE IN COMPLETE DARKNESS NEVER ABLE TO SEE OURSLEVES OR THE ONES WE LOVE. AND NOW THEY SEND YOU TO FINISH US AT LAST BUT WE WILL NOT GO DOWN EASILY.”(Avalon)
“I am not here to kill you I want to help you.”(Xyrra)
“THERE IS NO ONE IN THIS WORLD WE CAN RELY ON EXCEPT OURSELVES. I WAS A FOOL TO BELIEVE YOU ARE HERE FOR GOOD. YOU PROBABLY ONLY HELPED MY SON TO TRICK US.”Avalon”
“I am not here to harm or trick anyone I didn’t even know you were here. I don’t think the current queen of the merpeople of light knows you’re here.”(Xyrra)
“THEN THEY MUST HAVE LIED TO YOU. LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK. NOW WE MUST GO AND DO WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE LONG AGO. WE WILL RECLAIM THE THRONE THAT SHOULD BE OURS.”(Avalon)
Aquilus and some of the other children swim over to her and hug her.
“You can't mother no one has ever come back and I don’t want to lose you.”(Aquilus)
“THIS IS WHAT WE MUST DO.”(Avalon)
I have to stop her before she does something stupid.
“Stop there are better ways of solving this.”(Xyrra)
“THERE ISNT AND WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU? YOU TURN UP OUT OF KNOW WHERE CLAIMING TO HELP US. WE DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME.”(Avalon)
I should have probably told them that earlier.
“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Xyrra one of the four primordial goddesses the goddess of the sea. I have been around almost since the beginning of this world, and I have spent thousands of years protecting it from a powerful chaos goddess. Unfortunately, I was not able to protect my domain as well as I would have liked but with my sisters, we protected this world so that all the mortals could live in peace not so that you would fight among yourselves.”(Xyrra)
They ‘look’ at me in surprise and shock and seem to be frozen in place until they are broken out of it by a voice that sounds old and filled with wisdom.
“You are the goddess Xyrra?”(??)
I don't think there's too much dialogue, but maybe too much ALLCAPS. It's fine to single word responses, but simply using an exclamation mark, (!) is fine with maybe adding a small descriptor in the middle or end describing their tone of voice, ie, anger or how loud they are yelling.
(For example;
"WHAT!?" they screeched, "those traitors are alive!?"
or
"Those traitors are alive!!?" they yelled in rage.)
You can also use two !! to indicate an even louder volume or alert. All caps don't really work in stories, when a simple descriptor and an exclamation mark works to indicate how loud or angry someone is speaking/yelling. All caps tends to be only useful in texting and Social Media when there's a word limit and no reason to add on a descriptor for tone. In stories like this, it makes it harder to read the text, especially when it becomes a block of all caps text.
Thanks for the chapter by the way! It was good!![Blob Cookie](https://www.scribblehub.com/wp-content/themes/writeit-child/emojis/clear.png)
@IGLXenix Thank you for reading and the feedback. I will have a look and try what you suggested later.
Need to use more punctuations instead of all caps
I plan on changing it from caps.