- "Kurokawa you useless bastard, how many times do I have to repeat it to you?”

- “I'm sorry”

An empty, light word came out of my mouth.

- "If I lived on forgiveness, I wouldn't be working in this place, you fucking idiot...”

My supervisor kept giving insults one after the other, but my mind didn't even take the time to process every insult.

I've been in this job for a year and I'm still making useless mistakes, maybe it was a mistake to get into this company, or maybe it was a mistake to have continued this life.

I just…

- ”.... don't know"

- "What?”

My supervisor seems to have caught my soliloquy and his eyes seemed more exalted than ever.

- "Fucking retard, get out of my sight and get back to work.”

- ”Yes, excuse me."

I apologize again as I turn around and head straight to my work cubicle.

It's always the same.

I try to do something, I make a mistake, someone scolds me and I continue the process.

This has been like this all my life.

Not that I didn't try, just for some reason all my efforts are in vain.

No matter how hard I tried to do something, everything will be fruitless.

I can't do anything right.

This is beyond my control, I simply seem to have been born as the most useless and incompetent person in this world.

No one seems to have wanted to help me, I never had a group of friends to support me and even at home my parents seemed tired of me.

Maybe that's why as soon as I finished university, they forced me to get a job I didn't even want.

(-"It is the maximum that a useless like you can reach")

Maybe they were right.…

***

The next day I came to work again.

The closer I got to my workstation I could see the stack of sheets indicating corrections to be made.

Sitting in my seat a familiar voice echoed in the office.

- "Attention everyone, I have to announce something important”

My supervisor who yesterday seemed to explode with anyone approaching him now had a gentle smile on his face.

To be honest, it was kind of creepy.…

- "Head office has transferred us to a new manager.”

After finishing his prayer, a woman who seemed to be around 25 came out after my boss.

- "She will fill the position of the former manager who has been empty for the past month”

The woman stepped forward one more step as she bowed cordially.

- "Nice to meet you all, my name is Ishii Miyuki and I will be your new manager.”

The woman had a beautiful appearance, with long, shiny black hair plus large brown eyes, thin, red lips.

She was dressed in an elegant suit that seemed to highlight her curves, her appearance shouting out 'businesswoman'.

I was not the only one who seemed surprised at the woman in front of us usually, the people who worked here were people who were lagging behind in society or people who were just useless like me, this woman instead seemed to be someone very capable, everything seemed strange.

While still amazed, my boss raised his voice again.

- "You should be grateful that you can work with a person like Ishii-san, because of his high qualifications she was able to achieve a master's degree at the age of 24, after entering the central branch she was able to raise the profits of the company by 20%, thanks to her ability she could be granted a higher position, but Ishii-san instead decided to support us directly, so we have been blessed”

The situation was surreal, my supervisor a bitter 40-year-old man was flattering the woman named Ishii Miyuki, all with a smile on his face.

Meanwhile I was working again, although for a moment I was interested in the woman who appeared I knew that it would be useless to give her any attention.

She is someone over-qualified therefore she is someone totally incompatible with someone like me.

"Follow your work and do the best you can," is the only thing I repeat in my head.

*Gaze*

***

It's been more than a month after Ishii Miyuki come to the office almost nothing has changed, well maybe a few things, Ishii-san seems to be a person with good management of the administration and marketing, with your help, our office has been able to register a greater number of sales than the previous month, is a person with the capacity and ability so amazing it's almost laughable.

Also, not only that, something else has changed and that is the attitude of our supervisor, he is still an angry boss but every time he crosses paths with Ishii-san he seems to relax and try to give his best impression, it is well known. that he was trying to do something with her, although not that he was trying to hide it, as he forbade most of the male companions from approaching and interacting with Ishii-san.

For my part I continue with my usual day, I don't expect anything and as long as I do what I can and they scold me as little as possible I am satisfied.

That's what I think…

- "Dammit Kurokawa! you know, I'm not asking you to take over NASA, why can't you do your job right? you know, these reports are wrong, don't you understand a simple fucking order, you incompetent? "

One more time…

One more time…

One more time…

Why can't I do anything right?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Never mind…

- "Inept people like you are the scum of society, you should grab a rope and hang yourself, useless asshole!”

- "Hisashi-san?”

While my boss kept insulting me Ishii-san seems to have appeared.

- "Ishii-san, what are you doing here? can I help you anything?”

My boss who seems to have completely changed his face rubs his hands while laughing disgustingly.

- "I heard some screams so I came to see what happens...”

- "It's nothing ha ha, when I'm with this guy the conversation always gets hot, isn't it, Kurokawa?”

- "Y-yes...”

I seemed to have become the scapegoat.…

After a few exchanges of words the three of us separated and returned to our places.

***

I found myself leaving the office as I walked down the sidewalk, until a voice seemed to speak to me.

- "Kurokawa-kun?”

- "Huh?”

I jumped a painful voice as I looked for who had spoken to me, it was not until I turned my head and I could see a beautiful woman.

It was Ishii Miyuki.

- "Kurokawa-kun are you headed somewhere?”

Ishii-san asked me with a smile on her face.

- "I-I'm going home, see you later.”

I prepared to take a swing and leave but one hand held my briefcase and I couldn't go any further.

- "If you don't mind, you can come with me for a moment, please.”

- "Ehm n-n”

- "Please.”

Being compelled by her voice I began to accompany Ishii-san.

—

- "Kurokawa-kun answer me sincerely, are you being harassed in the office?”

- "What?”

We were meeting at a nearby coffee shop.

Ishii-san was in front of me.

No word had been uttered after we got here.

It was Ishii-san's sudden question that cut the silence.

Ishii-san who was previously very close to my face moved away a little from me.

- "I've noticed how Hisashi-san treats you.”

Ishii-san continued to speak as she stared at me.

- " 'Useless', 'retarded', 'incompetent', he usually calls you that way"

- "I-I...”

I wanted to talk, but the words just didn't come out of my mouth.

What should I do?

A part of me wants to tell everything, but the other part…

(- "Kurokawa-kun failed again, huh?”)

It was the voice of a classmate that came to my mind.

(-”I don't think there is such an idiot like you")

I remember that was my 'friend' in university.

(-"Kurokawa-kun fucking incompetent")

Ha... I perfectly remember my boss's voice right now.

(-"Why? Why can't you do anything right? are you retarded?”)

Was that my mom's voice or my dad's?

Ironically, I can't even remember who of it was ...

Even if I report the harassment it would be useless ...

There would only be someone else to replace him.

As usual.

I'm the problem.

-“No”

It was my answer.

- "I see...”

Ishii-san's disappointed look reflected on her face.

***

After the conversation with Ishii-san, she never spoke to me outside of work again.

I followed my ordinary life.

I tried to do my best but it wasn't enough as usual.

They scolded and insulted me..

But I put up with it.

I was denigrated numerous times.

But I put up with it.

I think it's the only thing I do right.

***

- "Kurokawa fucking idiot!“

It was the words of my boss after leaving a presentation.

I ruined my part during the exhibition and our idea was dismissed by the superiors.

Among the people in the audience was Ishii-san but she said nothing.

- "You've ruined the work of the whole office again”

I know.

-“I'm sorr-”

*Blow*

My whole view suddenly changed, I was lying on the ground with immense pain located in my face.

In front of me, the scene of my boss with a raised fist seemed to sum up the whole situation.

- "You fucking bastard! Do you think your apologies are enough!? this job has taken us too long, I was against putting you to talk but I had no choice! and look what you've done!”

My boss's face was unlike any I've ever seen before.

Despite having witnessed all his anger it was even greater than all the previous ones.

- "I really don't even know how you can go on living, people like you are a hindrance all their lives!“

After insulting me, my boss left, but not before kicking me while I was on the ground.

What an idiot I am.

Ha ... ha ... ha ... ha…

- "Ha...ha...*sniff * ... ha ... ha ... *sniff * ”

I can't take it anymore.

I just can't take it anymore.

I'm sick of it.

***

I left the office with no apparent direction, my head was messed up and my body was still a little sore.

As I walked, not even the noise of people silenced my thoughts.

(-"I really don't even know how you can go on living!”)

(-"You should grab a rope and hang yourself, useless asshole!”)

Maybe yes…

Maybe that way all my problems would go away.

After walking aimlessly for some time I was able to reach a peculiar place ... it was a suspension bridge located half an hour from the office.

I used to come here when I had a bad day.

That happened to be very often…

How did I get here?

Maybe my subconscious brought me here?

I think I read something like that in a magazine.

Strangely the bridge today looked different.

The breeze touched my face.

Before I knew it, I was crossing the security fence.

I wanted to be closer to the edge.

I closed my eyes slowly.

It's very peaceful here.

My thoughts about problems seem to disappear.

It's very quiet.

A smile reflected on my face.

- "I can't take it anymore.”

With a smile on my face, I just jumped.

- "Kurokawa!”

Someone was shouting my name.

When I opened my eyes I could see the great void.

Seeing a little better the void that looked black seemed to turn blue.

Water.

Shaking my head I could see myself hanging with one arm raised.

Looking in the direction of my arm, I noticed a hand holding me.

A female hand.

Looking a little more at the origin of that hand I found her.

Ishii-san

- "Kurokawa!”

Ishii-san was doing everything she could to get me up.

I didn't do anything.

I was still, stunned by the sight.

After a few minutes, Ishii-san managed to get me up.

*Slap*

A pain ran through my face again, specifically my cheek.

Why?

Why did you do it?

- "Why did you do it?”

It was Ishii-san who stole my words.

- "Why didn't you tell me anything?”

-“…”

The words didn't come out of my mouth.

Look a little more at Ishii-san's face.

Well.

Someone cares about me.

Someone…

- "Haaaaa!”

I shouted.

- "Kurokawa?”

Ishii-san asked worried about me.

I approached her and hugged her.

- "Please..."

Please.

- "Don't leave me...”

Don't walk away from me.

Don't get tired of me.

Please.

I felt a slight sense of warmth.

-“Never.”

It was her comforting words that saved me.

For you.

Let me live for you.

******

******

I've always liked animals.

I like rabbits, dogs, cats ... any animal I like.

I like to feed them, bathe them and play with them. It's so much fun!

The first animal I cared for was a rabbit.

He was the class mascot.

A white rabbit.

He had a very soft coat and very nice eyes, he was a beautiful rabbit.

His only 'flaw' was that he was sick.

Due to an accident, the beautiful rabbit could not eat solid food.

For a week I took care of feeding it myself with liquids and with puree.

My surprise was that when passed the week the rabbit was cured!.

According to what I heard from the teacher, the rabbit recovered because of my care.

That made me happy!

I liked him so much I wanted to take care of him again.

But my teachers scolded me when I threw the rabbit off the balcony.

I just wanted to take care of him again.

***

After that time I never had a pet.

I also had to promise not to harm any animals again.

I had to let go of those empty words…

I continued my life and worked hard in my studies.

"Studies are the tool for progress" are the words of my father.

After studying I entered a good company and gave my all to improve every aspect.

I was very well qualified and quickly offered a high position.

But I refused…

I came in higher is my position I will be with more qualified people.

I can't help anyone.

Instead, enter where they sent the 'scum'.

What cruel words.

They are poor people who need help.

Wait…

***

When I got to the office, I could see them all.

They were shy people but with potential.

Many looked away and others seemed to yearn for the pace to change in the office.

But my gaze was fixed on one person.

Kurokawa Jun was the name I later discovered.

'Inept', 'Useless', 'Incompetent', are words that used to come out of the mouth of his co-workers.

Even his supervisor Ota Hisashi used to speak contemptuously of him.

"Ishii-san is better to stay away from him, he just causes trouble around him" were the words he used to tell me.

I could see something in him.

Something I wanted.

After observing him for a long time I noticed several things about him.

I could tell what his relationship with his classmates was like.

Virtually nil…

He doesn't usually talk to anyone and focuses only on his work.

Looking at him like that seems a little... adorable.

But I think I've watched it long enough.

I think it's time for me to give you some help.

- "Kurokawa-kun answer me sincerely, are you being harassed in the company?”

Say.

Ask me for help.

I'll solve your problems.

You don't need to suffer anymore.

Come on tell me-

“No”

I remember his words vividly.

I could see his suffering in his eyes.

But he wasn't asking for help.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed.…

And for the first time I felt ... excited.

***

I decided not to bring that up with him again, for the time being.…

Instead, I focused on finding a way for him to open up more to me.

He needs help.

I think if I put a little more responsibility on him, he'll ask me for help.

That's it!

—

- "Excuse me Ishii-san, I was informed that he spoke to me”

- "Yes Hisashi-san, as for next week's presentation I would like you to help me with something...”

—

The day of the presentation happened.

Kurokawa failed.

He really failed.

Inside me, a smile formed.

Outside the presentation room, I could hear Hisashi-san's angry voice.

He's being scolded.

After some insults, I could notice a sound like a fall and a deep silence.

The silence was followed by a small laugh and then back to silence.

After a few minutes, I left.

I needed to look for him.

After looking for Kurokawa-kun for a while away from the office, I found him on the edge of a bridge and rushed to go there.

Everything happened very quickly and I found Kurokawa-kun on the side of the edge.

Kurokawa-kun looked down and exhausted.

So sick.

- "Please..."

A slight murmur.

- "Don't leave me...”

Poor…

How sad.

You've suffered too much.

Don't worry, Kurokawa.

I won't leave you.

-“Never.”

Because you're always gonna be miserable.