A man in heavy-looking armor comes walking up to me and stops me.
“Hey, you! Who are you? I don’t recognize you. How did you get in the dungeon?
Crap now I need to come up with something. The thing is, I don’t know what I could possibly say. I somehow doubt that me saying something like I snuck into the dungeon or otherwise gained access while the town was here is impossible. I could say that I lived in a house in the woods and just tell them the truth. Of course, based on my encounter with that assassin guy they might suspect me of being the demon lord, although my aura is now hidden. I will just have to gamble with the truth and see what happens and go from there. I’ll have to be careful around people for now, don’t know what most of them can do and I don’t want another assassin incident.
“Um, I was living in a small house in the woods not far from here. I heard some commotion and when I looked, I saw this cave and a bunch of melted rocks everywhere. I was quite curious so I went inside to check it out and I ended up staying there longer than I wanted.”
Yeah, I'll just omit the fact that I melted the rocks for now.
The soldier, I will call him that for now, gave me quite a complicated look after hearing my story. As he stood there, I could see the gears in his head turning before speaking to me.
“Alright, little missy. I will need to report this to the guild master, so I will need you to follow me.”
What!? Little missy? I suppose to everyone here I am just an eleven-year-old girl now. It took me a bit to get used to how I look, but now I have to get used to how society views me.
Not really giving me a choice, I follow behind the soldier. I was kind of excited about seeing an adventurer's guild, or at least I think that’s where we are headed to. Walking through the newly built town was exciting. Since my time in this world, this was my first time seeing a town and how people went about their lives. Along the way, I saw various craftsmen shops that I took note of for later. They even had an Inn and other buildings I wasn’t too sure of what they were.
After some time, we came to a two-story building. It was a good size building with double doors for the entrance. This was where I assumed the guild master was. The building had a simple sign with a sword and shield hanging over the door.
We entered the building and I found it was slightly empty. The inside didn’t look anything like how the light novels I read described it. There was no tavern or bar inside. There were a few tables and there was a wall that was designated as the request board. It had a bunch of wood planks hanging on it and I am guessing they were separated by rank. I thought this because the wooden planks were grouped under a larger one that had just one word written on them such as mithril, gold, and etcetera.
“We’re here. You go sit down at one of the tables and I’ll notify the guild master.”
Following the soldier's finger, I moved over to a nearby table and sat down. The soldier walked up to what could be a receptionist and was shortly escorted upstairs.
I just realized that I am going to be asked a bunch of questions. I need to make sure I get my story straight. I was lost in thought for a while because I didn’t notice the soldier come back.
“The guild master would like to see you now missy.”
Yeah still not used to being a little missy.
I follow the man upstairs towards a door at the end of a hallway. Arriving at the door, the man knocks before pushing the door open and walking back downstairs. Walking into the room I see two people, an old mage type person and a middle-aged warrior type of guy. The warrior guy looks up at me before speaking.
“I take it you are the one that walked out of that dungeon?”
I simply nod as he motions to a chair in front of his desk which I then move to and sit.
“My name is Arlan and this grumpy old man is my second in command Nilrem. So, before we begin, how about you explain to us about how you got into that dungeon?”
I spend several minutes explaining about how I left my house in the woods to investigate a strange occurrence and found the dungeon and decided to explore it. Of course, I left the part where I melted an orc village. Based on my last human encounter I was accused of being a Demon Lord, which is true but I don’t want to be one. After my story, both Arlan and Nilrem just stared at me like I was in a police interrogation room before Arlan spoke up.
“Let me get this straight. You live in these woods and you discovered that dungeon and decided to explore it and you have been in there for close to 2 months?”
“Uh, yeah. That pretty much sums it up.”
The aged man lets out a sigh before he continues.
“Ok then. Why is it you chose to live in those woods? They are pretty dangerous you know?”
Is he trying to make me out to be some suspicious person? If that is the case; two can play this game. Time for a guilt trip down tragedy lane.
“I'm sorry for not being able to choose where I lived. Ever since I was born my mother was accused of infidelity because of my hair color, which of course wasn’t true. Because of this, it drove my family apart and my mother to suicide. I then spent several years being abused by my older sister before being abandoned in those woods where I learned to survive for years. Is that enough of an explanation for you?”
I told as much truth as I could while being as vague as possible in the case that mage guy had some way to see the truth and lies. My statement obviously struck a chord with the guild master because his facial expression softened after hearing it.
“I am sorry I brought up a tragic memory.”
“It's fine I apologize for getting emotional” I had said, but I really was sorry for getting emotional. My past affects me more than I realized.
There was an awkward silence in the room for a bit before Nilrem, the old mage, broke the silence.
“So, you are technically the first one to discover that dungeon then. And you have been in there for quite some time. May I ask what was the furthest you got to?”
I was thinking about how much I should tell them. I was still unsure if they had some method of detecting lies and I had no real way to counter it. With this train of thought, I had decided I would not try and hide my abilities. I won't go into details about what I can do but I am not going to hold myself back either just for the sake of keeping up appearances either.
“I got to the eighth floor. It was a giant jungle with giant lizards (dinosaurs) and merfolk.”
After hearing that they both looked at me in surprise.
Nilrem decided to speak up again. “Missy...that floor is quite dangerous. Just how long did you survive there?”
“I think I was there for about a month.”
I knew exactly how long I was there. Thanks to my mini-map coming with a date and time function I know I was there for 36 days, but that was a part of my abilities I didn’t want to divulge only because it was too complicated.
Arlan and Nilrem look at each other before Arlan gives a nod. The old mage walks over to a bookcase that contains odd items that are mostly not books. After a few moments of rummaging, he returns with a clear crystal sphere.
The mage then held out the crystal ball to me.
“Alright, miss..uh? Right! I do apologize we never asked for your name. That was quite rude of us.”
While it could be seen as rude, I was not really bothered by the fact they didn’t ask for my name. Oh well, time to use my fake name I came up with.
“My name is Lynn.”
I decided to use just a part of my real name. Didn’t know what would trigger any lie detectors here. Too many unknowns. To be honest I am just flying blind.
The mage was still holding out the crystal ball to me and not seeing any real way to avoid it, I grabbed it with both hands.
“So uh, what does this do?”
“That device measures your mana pool and determines what class mage you are. Seeing as how you survived the eighth floor by yourself, I know you are able to use mana. This will just tell us how strong you are.”
I see, very tricky of them. Using this method ensures I can't lie about my strength. Good thing I decided not to hide my abilities, that would have probably landed me in hot water. On the plus side it could also help to corroborate my story as well.
“How do I use it?”
“Just inject your mana into the orb. The orb will change colors depending on which attributes you practice the most. The brightness will also indicate how strong each one is. After that, a number will be displayed to indicate how strong of a mage you are. I am a class 7 mage, close to breaking through to class 8.”
Nilrem puffs out his chest a bit while trying to look impressive. When I last dove into my soul palace, I was at tier 6. I guess the people here have replaced tier with class now.
Looking down at the orb I start to inject my mana into it. The orb starts to glow a brilliant white before dimming. The clear orb is eventually clouded over by darkness.
“Oh! You seem to be quite the expert in the dark...”
Before the mage can continue the darkness starts to transform. Specks of white dots start to appear in the background of the orb. I can also start to see something resembling nebulas form in the background. A large white and yellow sphere appears in the middle of the orb and next to it is a pitch-black sphere almost impossible to see. They start to orbit each other like two stars in a binary system, which looks odd because it looks like a sun and blackhole are orbiting each other. Next to appear are what look like planets of various sizes and colors. They start to orbit both the sun and blackhole as well. There is a large red planet that compares to Jupiter. Other colors such as blue, green and brown are all different sizes. Once everything is finished, I am basically looking at what appears to be the cosmos of my magic. If I had to guess the space is my space magic and the star/blackhole and planets are my other types of magic. I wonder where my arcane showed up as?
The two guild leaders look into the orb with shock on their faces. The only thing that breaks them out of their stupor is when the orb flashes again only to display a number...8.
Nilrem shakily reaches out to grab the orb and finally speaks.
“Never in my years have I ever experienced that before. I don’t know what the orb was trying to represent, but it was clearly something special. Also, that number...You are a class 8 mage! How is someone as young as you so strong!?”
Both of them didn’t look so well, as if they had the flu and seen a ghost. Arlan stood up from his desk and opened a drawer. Pulling out some papers he then grabbed a quill and vial of ink. Walking around to the front of the desk he set the items down in front of me.
“Lynn. I am going to cut to the chase. I would like you to join the mercenary guild. Nilrem and I have been witness to your strength as well as you living in a dungeon for months. Because of this, you would join at our highest rank, Mithril. The rank comes with some perks including your own room at the guild barracks. Also, you are privy to the mithril rank requests which can net you some good money. The only thing we would ask of you is you live in this settlement and not accept any requests which will take you further than the capitol. Your main focus would be helping with tasks in the dungeon and we would even give you a one-week vacation with some pay so you can get used to life here in town.”
To be honest I was debating on joining the guild. Depending on how this conversation went I was either going to join or burn this town to the ground and escape. Ok, so I probably wouldn’t burn the whole town but I would do what I could to escape. Joining the guild works a lot better in my favor. I can earn some money as well as get a new place to live. Also...FOOD! Actual cooked food besides the sad excuse of cooking that I was used to. This will be a good first step in my plan of things to do, which includes exploring this world and getting my revenge.
“Alright, I’ll join. What do I need to do?”
“Excellent! If you can read and write then just fill out this form here.”
I nod and Arlan pushes some documents towards me. I look over the form and start filling it out. It's quite basic. Just asking for name, age, and other info such as birthplace and skills. I list all the types of magic I can use and stop before writing arcane magic. I debated between writing down my arcane or not. It's not like anyone here actually even knows what arcane magic even is. Deciding I might still be under an effect of lie detection and also thinking that there are no other detailed records about arcane magic, I write it down. If anyone does ask, I’ll simply say it boosts my magic, which is technically true to some extent.
After I am done, I hand the form back to Arlan.
“Ok, good. Take this letter to one of the receptionists and they will get you settled into a temporary place in the barracks. Come back tomorrow in the morning to pick up your mercenary tags and you will also receive your permanent room in the barracks as well as your pay for joining.”
With that all done I leave the room.
---------------------------------------------------
Arlan and Nilrem wait for the young girl to leave the office. Once the door closes, they all breathe a sigh of relief and slump down into nearby chairs. Arlan looks over to his old friend and strikes up a conversation.
“I have never in my years seen a person with such talent, and at such a young age!”
Nilrem shakily pours himself a cup of tea before answering.
“To think! At eleven years of age and she outclasses me in magic! And don’t get me started on that orb. If my intuition is correct, she is quite formidable, having learned all attributes of magic. To think she knows both dark and light magic. If that Holy City ever catches wind of her I don’t know what they would try to do.”
Arlan only nods his head in agreement before helping himself to some tea.
“What about the lie detector? You get anything off of her?”
“Nothing. Everything she told us was the truth or at least a form of the truth.”
“Do you suspect her of being the Demon Lord?”
Nilrem leans back and closes his eyes sipping on his tea.
“I half do. One does not simply get strength like hers at that age. She has dark magic which can be gained from a demon or through misfortune, but then she also has light magic which just confuses me. Also, she then wrote down arcane magic. I have never heard of that element before and would require some investigation. If she truly isn’t the Demon Lord, then I pray to the gods that she is at least our ally.”
There is a long silence between the two, the only sound that can be heard is the sipping of tea before Arlan breaks the silence.
“I pray I made the right choice.”
Well if anybody saw those results they would know that she could kill them all and I sure LYNN knows this. So that her abilities/potential have been found out she would just play along with the mind games for as long as she feels like it, while gathering knowledge..?this is how I choose to believe this scene instead if her being a bit arrogant.
Yes that was my aim. There were too many unknowns in that situation and she didn't know what could be seen as truth or lie. In the end she could only do as they say until she can evaluate how strong she is compared to other people and then act arrogantly when she can afford. Not saying she is arrogant but, yeah that's my drift at least.
Yeah Teona needs to teach this girl some common sense and she been a birl for a long time yet can't get use to people calling her little missy even if the sister didn't refer her as a girl I am sure the servants did
it hasn't really been addressed but no not even the servants did. Also if they did it was before her memory came back and at that time she was in a prison cell being tortured by a spoiled and mentally unstable sister.
She has been a girl for a while but she has never really been treated as one and that is why she needs to get used to her new gender again.
@Sfayte I see and what about the vampire will it appear before her again
@DKofDarknessflame1 not going to spoil anything too much but there are plans.
If I were her, I would have declined so that I could keep pushing my abilities to the extreme.
I just reread the chapter and it has definitely improved in my opinion. Huge props for the amount of editing you were willing to do in order to improve the chapter. It is also nice to see that while dark magic does have connections to demons and evil stuff, it does not automatically mean people are evil since it is also gained from tragic backstories.
And with that said, have some more grammar corrections!
"I left the part where I melted an orc village." - left out the part
"to hold myself back either just for the sake of keeping up appearances either" - back just for
"I do apologize We never" - apologize. We
"I see very tricky of them." - I see, very
"At eleven years of age and she, outclasses me in magic!" - she outclasses
"she is quite formidable having learned all attributes of magic" - formidable, having
"You get anything off of her?" - Did you get
"I Pray I made the right choice." - I pray
"she wrote down arcane magic, I have" - arcane magic. I have
"and would require some investigation." - and it requires
NOOOO! Grammar, my only weakness!
Ok so I have fixed most of the errors. There were a couple I had left. While they are grammatically incorrect or could have been written better, I had left them because that was how those characters talk. I try not to have everyone talk like English literature professors in my novel as it would then start to feel unnatural.
But thanks for pointing them out.
Thanks for chappy!
I pray that we get more chapters soon... WE DON'T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT MISTER!
This is true. Though I am working on more chapters in between real-life stuff.
I can't say I enjoyed the way she handled the situation. She was being extremely thoughless and flippant about the whole thing, like whatever happened was none of her concern. Either she has zero sense of risk and situational awareness or she truly couldn't care less about how the whole thing turned out.
The main problem is consistency though. This portrail of Allynna can work since it hasn't really been established how Allynna deals with people until now, but it also sets the standard for how she is 'supposed to' deal with people moving forward. It is, after all, very important that characters are consistent. They don't need to be static, but whenever they have a shift in mindset, they need a proper reason. Since she was careless in how she acted here, that is how she will have to act from now on to stay consistent.
Either way, writing down arcane magic was probably the dumbest thing she could have done if she didn't want to reveal the extent of her abilities. If she bothered to think it over for even a second, she should have realised that them not knowing what arcane magic is would only prompt them to ask her, not ignore it as she seemed to assume. Then she would also have to explain why she knew a branch of magic they didn't, which just seems like a massive headache.
"It took a bit to get used to how I am but now, but now I have to get used to" - how I am but now I have to
Well this played out differently in my head than it did in actuality. I didn't want her to come off as flippant or that she doesn't care only the fact that she was in a situation where she goes with the flow or ends up just running away or just start blatantly killing people to get out of an undesirable situation. Also it may be a failure on my part but she has been isolated from people for a while and does not really know what social norms are in this world. I tried to portray some of this but I may have failed.
Also as for the arcane thing I had a plan for that so I needed her to do that even if it was stupid in the end.
Thanks for the feed back I will give this chapter another run through and see if there is anything that sticks out as odd or whatnot and change them.
@Sfayte No problem. I'll try to give you some examples to show you what I mean, for future reference.
"I guess I will gamble with the truth. Whatever happens, happens, I guess. ... Yeah, I'll just omit the fact that I melted the rocks for now."
'I guess' is a rather non-committal phrase. Together with 'whatever happens, happens', it sounds like she intends to just stop thinking about the matter and hope things turn out alright. Next, she decides what she will and won't say after she said it, which implies that she really hadn't considered what she was saying beforehand.
"At this point, I decided that I would not hide my abilities. I wouldn’t just show everything either but I wasn’t going to go out of my way to hide everything...except my aura, that I will hide."
'At this point' implies she made the decision just now. Whether she didn't get this far in her pre-planning or she just decided to throw the plan out the window for some reason, the fact stands that she just made a very important split second decision with no reasoning behind it. Changing one's stance mid-conversation is not a bad thing but it needs to follow an upset or a pointed question that forces them to rethink their stance or plan of action. Changing one's mind for no reason is a sign of not being comitted to whatever is going on.
Lastly, "Ah, so he wants to make me out as some suspicious person. Fine two can play this game. Time for a guilt trip down tragedy lane."
This shows that she has enough awareness and cunning to recognise what he is doing and to one-sidedly steer the conversation away from him asking questions she doesn't like. (Dunno if that was the intention but she also created a minefield. Unless the two are very committed to a question, she can pretty much steer any answer in that direction and they will just drop the matter.) Showing that she is at least somewhat capable of controlling conversations makes it all the more prominent when she not taking control of the conversation and just going with the flow.
Also, as far as I can see, she is never really wary of anyone, which implies either an inexplicable sense of trust or that she sees them as so beneath her that they cannot be a threat. Such trust towards (armed) strangers is something you'd expect of a young or sheltered child who hasn't yet learned that the world can be a harsh place, not an abused child who had to survive on their own for years.
As for the arcane thing, I strongly recommend you try to not do that in the future. Forcing an out-of-character situation or action in order to reach a certain outcome is a sign of bad writing. If you want an outcome, find a believeable way of achieving it.
@Thorium I did change the scene about her arcane skill so hopefully, that flows better. I will see what I can do to salvage the rest of the chapter. She also never really had any trust for anyone she met, Zaber helped to make sure of that. She was just going with the flow testing the waters so to speak and seeing what options she had and which ones could further her plans.
@Thorium OK so I had rewritten/added to parts of this chapter. Hopefully everything flows how I had originally intended. If there are any other errors or whatnot just let me know. I don't have an editor so any feedback from readers is greatly appreciated.