Murbellass

yay I'm finally back to posting updates.  I went through catching and recovering from covid and then injuring my back from the coughing😜  Also this chapter just kept annoying me in how I didn't really know where to go with it or just wasn't feeling much about what is done. I don't feel as good about this one as others but I just need to publish it to get it out of the way and move on.

CW

Spoiler

Fuzzy 8 legged friend the size of a large dog that could trigger people who have issues with spiders.

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    “Okay, I have this on.  What do I do now?”  Sylph was slightly confused, waving her hands around in the middle of the living room with my VR headset on.

    “You are at the character selection screen and you are looking at my character.”  I had her view mirrored to the roll down screen on my wall.

    “Yes, it is a very good looking rendition of you, but with differences.  Is this… aspirational?”

    “Yes and no… it’s really hard to unpack.”  I sighed.  “I really have little clue what I think my body should look like day to day or even if there is some ideal form for me… and that’s not even getting into working out bias around gender or attractiveness.  Games are kinda a testing ground.”

    “Well, you know you can test things in your body now as well?”  She said looking at my virtual face.

    “Yes, I’ve thought about it, but right now it just gives me anxiety about looking different to people and then comes questions that I don’t know how to answer.  But then there’s also the side of me that just wants to confuse people with malicious gender fuckery that says go for it.”  I shrugged even though she couldn’t see me.  “It’s all just extra stuff and I’ve got other things to occupy my attention right now.”  I poked her butt.

    Sylph very quickly grabbed my hand as I attempted to pull it away.  She glared directly at me despite the goggles blocking her vision.  “I can still sense what you are doing Marin.”

    I pulled her grasping hand to me to give it a gentle kiss… and then poked her butt with my other hand and giggled.

    I could feel the roll of her eyes behind the visor as she sighed at me.  “Yes, you are very cute and mischievous.  Please just tell me what I should be doing now.”

    “At the bottom of the menu on the right is the option for a new character.  Select that.  Okay now you’ve got a bunch of options and you can sculpt the body however you’d like to represent yourself.”

    The game had both sliders for various traits as well as hands on sculpting for a more tactile approach to customization.  Gender options were thankfully a set of spectra to masculinize or feminize different parts of a body up to and including genitals so even intersex people could feel represented.  There was much commotion about this at launch but the developers stayed out of it and rested on the system speaking for itself.

    I watched as Sylph slowly sculpted the shape of her character.  Through cameras and sensors on the visor, it did a good approximation of what her face and body looked like by default, but as she wiggled around various options a decidedly more masculine character was coming into being.  A broader set to the shoulders and chest still with breasts but sitting on top a set of well defined pectorals.  A more angular masculine face but in that long elfin sort of way that looked more like her alien form and very decidedly still her.  She kept her wide hips and thick thighs, filling them out slightly more with musculature.   Sylph made some very nice choices aesthetically as far as bodies go and I would not at all mind interacting with this side of her if her form in life ever matched this. 

    “Trying something a little different?  I see you’re hot no matter what form you take.”

    “I first chose to be seen as female when I came here assuming I’d be interacting with people who saw things very much as a binary…”  She chuckled slightly, “but my time spent with you has somewhat opened me to other ideas of presentation.”

    “Well I’d be completely okay if your body also happened to look like this.”  I trailed my fingers down her spine earning a nice little wiggle.

    “I shall keep that in mind.”  

    Sylph had gotten to more cosmetic customizations now and gave herself horns and sleeve tattoos that looked like bark.  They looked very nice on her arms and I couldn’t help imagining tracing my fingers over the grain.

    “Now what do I do?”  

    She had just completed replicating her hair color, but had it styled as a pixie cut with a side shave.  It looked very queer on this masc’ish genderfucked body she’d created.  It also looked very naked.

    “Uh Sylph, you might want to add clothes.  I don’t mind looking at this attractive naked person you’ve made, and I’m sure neither Cairn nor Lilly will either, but we’ll likely be exploring a planet filled with a bunch of questionable lifeforms which might be hazardous to your very nice and very exposed skin.”

    She giggled at me and opened the clothing menu.  “Yes I suppose that makes some amount of sense.”

    Sylph picked out a red tropical shirt along with a navy blazer and pants.  The shirt was unbuttoned most of the way down showing off well muscled cleavage.  

    “Yeah Sylph, this is a real good look for you.  When you are ready you just need to pick a name and pronouns for how the game refers to you.”

    “I’ll just use my name since this is mostly just for meeting your friends.”  She also picked he/him pronouns for this new version of Sylph.  This would also be displayed in metadata that other players could pull up.

    “Okay now you select complete and It’ll give you options where to port in.  Just pick the one that says ‘Port to Player Vessel’.”

    As Sylph was finishing up entering into the game, I began setting up how I was going to participate.  I had a dual camera setup in the room that could track my face and position.  This combined with a tablet screen and I could see and exist within the game as something of a floating head hologram, turning the tablet to look around, tablet and room cameras rendering my face in the game.  

* * *

    We both materialized into the game on the deck of the Bonney Anne at the same time, and were immediately confronted with high pitched screeching.  I turned my tablet towards where the noise was coming from and I found it and screeched a bit myself.  “What the fuck is that thing?!”  There was a half meter tall animal that looked like a giant tarantula with a long neck and a cuttlefish for a head.  Its noodly face arms were flailing at Sylph and I as it screeched and backed down the main corridor and into one of the cabins.  Hey, that’s my cabin!

    Just then Lilly came out and was making gentle cooing noises towards it.  “It’s okay little guy, that’s just Marin and… Sylph?”  She looked very confused and interested by Sylph’s very different yet recognizable form.  She shook her head and walked slowly into my cabin.  Emerging moments later with the creature cradled to her chest like a baby with way too many arms.  It looked at us with two very adorable eyes as it was curled up in Lilly’s arms.  It was scared of me.

    “Marin, Sylph, meet Chonk.”  Lilly said gently stroking the fur of its neck.  

    “Awwww, I want to pet them too now!”  

    While I was bemoaning my inability to give scritches, Sylph spoke up behind me.  “You must be Lilly, it’s a pleasure to meet you… uh, face to face.  I would come greet you properly if Marin had shown me how to walk.”  His voice in game was slightly deeper and sounded funny hearing both overlaid on top of each other with me being in the same room. 

    I had forgotten completely about helping Sylph out with basic commands, being confronted by a very scared and very unique creature as we loaded in.  I set down my tablet and took Sylph’s hands in mine.  “So here is the gesture you have to make to walk.”  I showed him how to make a walking motion with his index and middle finger and he walked into a wall.  Lilly, Chonk, and I all giggled at him.  Chonk’s giggling had a flailing burbling quality to it that made it very endearing.  “Oh yeah, first you have to turn your body in the direction you want to go.”

    “I see.”  Sylph turned and managed to walk through my floating head and over to Lilly as I watched his view on the mirrored screen.  I had just picked up my tablet in time to watch him lean down in game and gently pet Chonk, who having seen him walk directly into a wall was now much less threatened.  “A pleasure to meet you Chonk.”  While leaned over he took Lilly’s free hand and brought it to his lips giving a courtly kiss.  “And a pleasure to meet you as well Lilly.”  She was blushing bright red as I had to hold back my laughter.  

    Lilly regained her normal composure as Sylph released her hand.  “Ah, I can see how Marin fell so easily for you.”  She leaned around his broad form to look at my nearly cackling holographic floating head.  “Quite the charmer this one.” and she winked at me.

    It was then I noticed that Cairn had been silently watching from their cabin, very intently focused on Sylph.  I prompted them out of their gawking by floating my head through Sylph and over to them.  “And this is Cairn.  Cairn, say hi to Sylph.”  I smirked at them.

    “This is a very different Sylph to the one I saw in the picture this morning.”  They walked to him and instead took his hand and kissed it.  “And it’s my pleasure to meet you sweet Sylph whomst hath wooed our fair Marin.” 

    “Now that everyone is done laying the flirting on super thick, could we please sit down and talk about how you two met Chonk?”  I was really missing the ability to gesture with my hands at that moment.

    The three humanoids in the room all started laughing, but Lilly and Cairn led the way to the galley and we all got seated… well except my holographic head just kinda floated lower as I plopped my actual body on the couch in my living room.

    Cairn started, “We were exploring the planet, which we’ve named Brotaturn as it was the funniest shit a name generator spat out and I loved it.  Brotaturn!”  Cairn recited the name as if it were part of a Shakespearian sonnet.

    I cracked up laughing to the point I started crying.  It was apparently funnier to me than the others as they looked confused at my floating head and Sylph actually had to lift up her visor to scoot next to me and console me.

    When I had calmed, Cairn continued.  “See Lilly, Marin appreciates me.  But as we were down on Brotaturn…” they paused for the two of us to chuckle, “...we found a neat cave where poor Chonk had gotten his leg stuck in a crack and was crying.  So of course we both went in and saved him and he just kinda followed us around ever since.”

    Lilly interjected.  “We have of course first inspected him for any hazards to us and he is a herbivore and not toxic in any way I can discern.  He’s actually quite intelligent and can respond to some basic commands we taught him.”  She set Chonk down carefully on the deck.  “Chonk sit.”  

    Chonk dutifully plopped his abdomen down on the deck.

    Lilly pulled a berry or a seed out from a pouch from a pocket and gave it to him.  “Good Chonk, you're a very good boy, aren't you Chonk.”

    Chonk’s face tentacles excitedly grabbed the treat and he nuzzled up against Lilly’s hand while stuffing it into an unseen orifice.  This must have been some procedurally generated pet creature placed by the developer's algorithms to make sure there was always something fun to discover.

    “He certainly is very cute and I wish I had in game hands to pet him.”  To this Sylph shared the sensation he had when petting the creature.  I gave her leg a squeeze in the real world.

    A mildly uncomfortable silence settled over the room as we all just sat and stared at Chonk.  The very cute yet slightly disconcerting animal crept slowly to where my head hovered and poked a testing leg through the hologram.   Everyone started giggling.

    Lilly spoke to break the awkwardness.  “Would you two like to go for a walk?  It really is quite beautiful outside on… Brotaturn.  Ugh I hate that I agreed to that name, but it just made Cairn so happy.”  She looked upon the enby with extreme fondness.

    This planet had a hospitable atmosphere and generally non-toxic lifeforms so we all wandered outside, Chonk following along.  The planet really was beautiful despite the name that Cairn had given it.  We had landed in a clearing next to what I could only describe as a choral forest.  There were sturdy porous fractally branched rock structures everywhere.  Large feathery leaves sprouted from each pore gently swaying in the breeze and soaking up light from a purple tinted sky.  I brushed one with my fingers and just as I touched, it was quickly pulled back safely inside the rock.

    Then there were the sounds.  Life on this planet had somehow developed a far more euphonious soundstage than forests on earth.  It wasn’t the call and response of birds or the incessant chirp of crickets, it was a symphony of sounds that all held to some shared complicated rhythm.  Harmonies made up of thousands of overlapping melodious voices surrounded us as we walked.

    Sylph cut into that harmony.  “This ecosystem is all wrong.”

    Lilly stopped walking and tilted her head at Sylph.  “What do you mean?”

    “There are only two, maybe three species of vegetation I can see here and there are flying creatures that have beaks that suggest they are insectivores yet I see and hear no insects or anything they could feed upon.  It just very much appears that this world has gaping ecological niches that nothing appears to want to fill.”  He sighed and looked at Chonk.  “Chonk looks like the only creature that would make any sense as he seems best suited to extracting these fronds from their structures.”  She reached to poke one provoking its rapid retraction.

    Cairn started giggling.  “Yeah, I’ve seen threads on the forums discussing that.  The developer’s procedural algorithms are designed to make things pretty and interesting rather than making any sense.  You can always tell what they think is important by what actually seems to have had any thought put into it.”

    Sylph looked disappointed and I scooted closer on the couch to comfort her.  "It would be rather hard to generate and actively simulate fully realized ecosystems for thousands of unique worlds given where we are at in terms of computing technology that anyone would put towards just a video game."  I offered as consolation to which Sylph sighed. 

    "This is what we get bringing an ecologist to video games."  Cairn added with a giggle and a sly grin.  "We can still enjoy ourselves though.  Sylph, I'd love to hear more about what else you see about the ecosystem."

    Sylph wiggled more upright on the couch as in game he started into excited nerd mode.  "Well these fronds sticking out of the coral that Chonk likely eats.  Their retraction behavior and the sturdiness of their structures likely means they have some other threat than predation.  I would guess protection from storm systems of high wind or maybe even frequent flooding of the area."  He squatted down to trail his fingers through the multicolored soil we had been walking through.  "There's not much of anything holding the topsoil in place.  Flooding or high winds would clear this all away in very little time, not that it's serving much purpose beyond the aesthetic here that I can see."

    He stood back up and gazed off into the distance.  "If there were something removing this soil and it were somehow generated here, I'd imagine there'd be some place where it all collects where this large deposit of organic matter would provide a feast for a completely separate ecosystem that would likely be far more lively and interesting than even this one.  That's assuming it's even simulated on that level of course."

    Both Cairn and Lilly were now staring at Sylph with the same reverent awe that I was frequently struck with.  I again lamented my lack of hands I would be using to poke them both with and had to settle for giggling at them.  "You see what I have to put up with having Sylph around now.  He's irresistible!"  I punctuated that last part with a kiss to her cheek in meatspace and she lifted her visor to return the gesture.

* * *

    We continued exploring and chatting together for the rest of the evening.  Brotaturn's unreasonable biodiversity continued to baffle Sylph.  We all actively encouraged him to wax ecological about it while I basked in how well he was getting along with my friends.  Lilly and Cairn we're both clearly smitten with him and my poor brain kept daydreaming the idea of us all living together as a cute poly family.  It was way too soon to let myself start leaning into that as a possibility, but gosh that would be so very neat.  Just think of the cuddle puddles!

    There was so much daunting overhead to that thought though.  Some combination of us would have to move, and Sylph was pretty rooted to the grove here for the foreseeable future.  Even after that I had no clue what my future with her looked like.  Would she leave with her people when the grove was setup and safe in whatever way they needed it?  Would I come with?  How would I keep in contact with the people that were important to me if I did?  Could they all come with as well?  Would they want too?  How would I even begin to explain the whole extraterrestrial situation to any of them?!

    Things began to spiral and my programmed fungal disassociation started to take effect.  I could feel my sense of self start to distance from my feelings and thoughts and body.  I could see that my heart rate had been climbing along with my breathing.  From the slight distance, I took control of my breath.  Deep breath in, slow easy breath out.  I repeated this several times while watching my heart relax back to a normal rhythm.

    I had fallen behind the group while lost in thought.  Cairn and Sylph were making their way up a ridge out of the river valley we had been hiking through for the past happy hour, but Lilly had noticed my floating head no longer bobbing along and dropped back.  "Hey, Marin, are you doing okay?"

    Her concerned voice rooted me back to my body.  "Yeah, just a bit caught up in my own head."  

    Lilly chuckled at my unintentional joke while Sylph's virtual and actual body both turned to look at me with concern.  

    "I'm just really happy you all are getting along so well, and my brain won't let me have just that so anxiety over future unknowns started spiraling.  You know, normal Marin stuff…  I'm okay now though."

    Sylph put her arm around me and pulled me close as Lilly's beautiful compassionate face filled the view on my tablet and I really did feel a bit better.

    Cairn broke through my little pity party though with a yelp, "Oh shit y'all, check out the news!"  

    A text plopped up on all our heads up displays containing a link to a video feed.  I poked at it with my finger and was presented with the feed of a crisply attired newscaster babbling above the very disconcerting news crawl of: "NASA LEAK SHOWS MYSTERIOUS OBJECT ORBITING EARTH BEHIND THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON"

    Sylph raised her visor as we both turned to each other and said, "Oh, boy"