Chapter 6: Lust’s Addict

October 3rd, 2005 - Senior Literature Class

"Alice...what do you mean you don't have the flash drive...?"

"I...I had it this morning! It was right there in my bag, I swear!"

Five minutes before our presentation for Senior Literature, the 4th Event was starting. 

Alice, showing visible panic on her face, frantically searches through her designer messenger bag for the flash drive with our presentation on it while the rest of the class watches.

"Mr. Roland, Miss Cullen, we are waiting!" Mr. Steward, our mousy and enthusiastic Senior Literature teacher, says with expectation.

Alice and I were some of the only "Kids" in this class who seemed to care for it or literature in general, so he liked us quite a bit. We both had A's, and I can imagine he was looking forward to a decent presentation after three disappointments in a row. 

"Samuel...it's not here. It's... it's not here! What do we do?" Alice whispers to me in a defeated tone.

Throwing my head back and sighing heavily, I tell her, "It's fine, princess. I got this."

Standing up from my desk, I look Mr. Steward in the eye and say, "I forgot that Alice gave the flash drive to me before we left yesterday to add some finishing touches. I must have left it at home. Sorry, Mr. Steward, but can we give a verbal presentation instead of a visual one for reduced credit?"

"Wai-What? You didn't-" Alice splutters, looking at me in confusion, but I interrupt her with a glare.

"-Remember it. Yeah, that's what I said. It is on me for being forgetful. Anyway, would that be alright?" I finish, ignoring Alice's mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as she stares at me in shock, and I look back at our teacher. 

Mr. Steward rubs his chin for several seconds before smiling widely. "Sure! I can't give you higher than a B, but let's see what you remember."

I started walking to the front of the class but noticed that Alice was still gawking at me in disbelief. I roll my eyes, something I find myself doing a lot around her both in character and out, and grab her elbow, pulling her up to the front of the class with me. 

While it was true we were playing embellished parts, it was also true that we were being ourselves in the end. I was not usually this big of an asshole or this assertive, and Alice was not usually so absentminded or innocent, but, at the core, we were still just being ourselves.

'She may think she's clever, but I have started catching on, ' I thought before realizing that even if I knew what she was doing, I had no intention of stopping it. 

It was done for me, after all. God, but I love this woman.

"Right," I start, cracking my neck once we were in front of the class, then looking out at the kids and teacher before me, "Our book was the 1968 classic Blade Runner, or Do Robots Dream of Electronic Sheep, as it was first titled when published. It is a literary masterpiece set in a dystopian future that explores the themes of Memories, Freedom, Morality, Personal Identity, Artificial Intelligence, Globalisation, and Modernisation - All before the first personal computer was even released to the public. If you are a film buff, the 1982 release starring Harrison Ford, of Star Wars and Indian Jones fame, is a cult classic and worth your time, but I digress. Alice, would you please go over the characters and their relations within the story?" I finish, turning and gesturing to her.

Alice looks back at me for a long moment, a small, endearing smile on her face, before she takes a deep breath and flashes the class a blinding grin. 

"Of course, I'd be happy to, Samuel. Rick Deckard is the story's main character, and he..."

* | * | *

3rd Person POV

"I can't believe he gave us an A anyway!" Alice exclaims excitedly in the hallway after class.

"I guess we impressed him. We didn't even need the flash drive, though you might want to work on that ditsiness, princess." Samuel answers with a dry laugh. 

Alice puffs out her cheeks in indignation, "Don't call me princess! And..." Here, she trails off and looks down before continuing more quietly. "Thanks for covering for me. I...I was kind of panicking, and it would have gone a lot worse if you didn't help."

"Heh. What was that? Did I just hear the princess thank her lesser? I must be dreaming..." Samuel snarks with that teasing smirk he has had locked in place for the last week. 

"You-! Urg, just take the compliment, you jerk!" Alice retorts, hip-checking Samuel to little effect and causing him to laugh out loud when she stumbles instead. 

As she and Samuel were walking the hallway, the students, both in their class and those who were just generally invested in school gossip, watched them with rapt attention. 

"They are acting much friendlier now...You don't think...?" A girl questions her friend as they look on. 

"No way. Don't you remember the cafeteria thing last month?" Her female friend responds.

"Of course I do; everyone does." Girl 1 says with a roll of her eyes.

"So, yeah. They, like, hate each other, and I heard Alice was even bullying him or something. No way they are a thing," Girl 2 explains confidently. 

A guy in the same Senior Literature class as Alice and Samuel overhears the two girls and interjects, "I wouldn't be too sure about that. You obviously haven't heard about what he did yesterday in the library."

"Wait, he really pinned her to a bookshelf to get a book for her? I thought that was just a rumor?" Girl 1 demands with deep interest. 

"Nope, not a rumor. I was there. Almost all of us thought the two would be bickering like cats and dogs the whole time, and they did for the first week or so, but something changed halfway through, and they...well, they became like that." He nudges his chin in their direction.

Alice tells Samuel off while he just smiles and nods, clearly not taking anything she says seriously but enjoying their banter all the same. 

"So, wait...are they dating then...?" Girl 2 asks in bafflement.

"Nah, it's not that serious yet." The guy shakes his head. "But half the class now has a betting pool on when they will start. My bet is around Christmas, and after what happened today, I am feeling confident."

"What happened today!?!" Both girls ask eagerly. 

Smirking and enjoying the attention, the guy relays how Samuel took the fall for Alice's mistake with the flash drive and how their presentation was still somehow better than any other given, even though it was purely verbal and from memory. 

"Wow...maybe they are into each other!" Girl 2 says in wonder.

"Hold on, she's a Cullen! I thought they only dated...you know!" Girl 1 demands.

Frowning, the guy answers back, "I wouldn't say that out loud if I were you. You know about what happened to Jessica, right? The messages she sent were posted around the school, and half of them were about Alice. Next thing we know, she falls down the stairs, seemingly without anyone else around...I'm just saying."

"Well, anyway, I think I know why Samuel makes the cut. He's as hot as any of the other Cullen boys...and they seem to fit pretty well together, don't you think?" Girl 2 says after a slight pause to redirect the conversation. 

"Kinda like Beauty and the Beast, Right? Seeing them together now, I was just thinking they would make a great couple!" Girl 1 responds with a smile. 

"I'm telling you, they are getting together by Christmas. Just watch, you'll see." The guy says confidently before waving at his juniors and heading off. 

Similar conversations were spreading throughout the school like wildfire.

The Plan the Cullen ladies put together was working out exactly as intended, though none of them had expected Samuel to be as good at acting as he was. It was a pleasant surprise and made their whole performance all the more believable.

And when there were mistakes...

***

The boy from earlier heads to the bathroom 20 minutes later but stops suddenly in confusion over something that he catches out of the corner of his eye. He could of sworn he just saw two people go into a supply closet across the hall...Two people who looked just like...

Unable to ignore his curiosity, the guy heads to the closet door and cracks it open to peek in. What he sees makes his jaw drop in shock, and he accidentally opens the door wider as he jerks back.

A pair of silver glowing eyes ensure the only thing he remembers is going to the bathroom and returning to class.

*** 

...Samuel's gifts made them easy to clean up.

* | * | *

October 6th, 2005 - Cullen Library

I lazed on a beanbag chair in the Cullen Library, reading one of Carlisle's copies of The Lord of the Rings. It was a heavily worn second-edition copy that mirrored the framed full first-edition set on the wall of the fantasy section. 

Alice sat across my lap like a cat and cuddled up on my chest as she enjoyed a romance novel set in the Civil War era. 

This had become a favorite spot for us, and we spent many hours alone there, reading, discussing the books, and making suggestions for each other. 

We also made it a rule that this was a place free from our more frivolous indulgences. It was a spot to relax, be romantic, and kiss every few minutes, but mostly to decompress from our days. 

If I had any thoughts of Alice becoming less clingy when I dropped the "L-Bomb," I would have been sorely mistaken. But the thing is, if you are truly in love, truly happy with the person you are with, then I suppose their clinginess just became endearing because that is precisely how I felt. 

It was nice, and the freshness and elation never seemed to dim. There was always some new, wonderful experience to share, and...God, I sound sappy. 

Is this really fucking me?

But it was. I was a Raith, a Demon of Lust, an incubus who thought love a deadly poison for most of his life...and who was also looking forward to a lifetime of experiencing moments like these with my loving mate. 

That is all to say, I was still dealing with conflicting emotions, but happiness shown through it like a God Ray through all my clouded uncertainties. 

It was Thursday night, and all the Cullens were going to spend the weekend hunting as a family—hunting in a much more primal sense than any of the other hunters in Forks were probably used to.

To my surprise, I was also invited to join in on this trip. I had called out sick today, so Alice and the rest went to school without me to establish my "flu" backstory beforehand.

This allowed the illusion of a wholly separate reason for us not to be at school simultaneously as their usual monthly weekend vacations. We wouldn't want people catching on that I was also living with The Cullens, now would we? 

This was also why I was still paying for my crappy apartment in Downtown Forks and was still driving my shitty car too.

Alice said she wanted to get me a new car, but Carlisle and I talked her out of it...I can't say her offer to buy me a 2005 Silver Lotus Elise was not tempting, though.

The shit we were pulling at school was the maximum attention any of us was willing to garner. Things had to happen slowly and naturally over time, or we would draw the wrong kinds of questions. 

School gossip about a new couple? That was nothing anyone would really care about. 

The Cullen's Olympian Clan letting a complete stranger live with them and then buying him all sorts of expensive shit?

That would get some. And "Some" was too much. 

I was fully expecting and willing to be used as a tool to help hide their hunting trips, but Carlisle was able to convince the school of a medical reason before I was even in the picture with his damn charm alone. 

Still, I wouldn't go on many of them for a long while to keep the status quo. 

This first time, however, I would be going, and it was because they wanted to see what I could do now that Alice and I were so...connected. 

We would be leaving tomorrow morning and returning Sunday night, but I didn't really know what to expect. Alice was being suspiciously quiet about the whole affair, and that, more than anything, made me nervous. 

Before that, it seemed I would finally get an answer to an unasked question that had been brewing for the last two weeks:

'Why is Janet Hale glaring at me?'

"Alice, can we talk?" Janet and Edwin enter the library and close the door behind themselves. 

I first noticed her frown after my introduction to Ellenore, where she mentioned how often Alice and I snuck around at school.  

"Hmm?" Alice hums lazily as she slowly raises her eyes to meet her sister's. 

I have seen that frown evolve over the weeks, though, to her credit, she has difficulty suppressing her emotions in general due to her ability, so I can't imagine hiding facial ticks is the easiest thing for her.

"I have some...concerns I would like to address before our hunting trip." Janet explains, nodding quickly to Edwin, who looks a bit uncomfortable. 

'Did she change her mind on how she felt about my Lust Attraction ability from that first night? This late? No...That doesn't make any sense... I haven't done it once since then...Well, not to anyone but Alice, anyway.'

"Oh, I quake in wonderment. Please feel free to elaborate in your own time, Janet," Alice answers sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

'Hey! That's my thing!'

'If not the Lust Attraction, then what? Is our acting getting out of hand at school? I thought that was the whole point! The Jessica thing, maybe? I don't understand what she is concerned about. I rather think I have been doing a good job fitting in here. Then again, maybe it isn't about me at all, and I am only making assumptions-'

"Are you addicted to Samuel's Venom?" Janet demands with no further preamble.

"What!?! T-That's not possible..." I start, stammering in disbelief. Of all the ridiculous things to ask! We would have known by now. She would have been all over me all the time-

"Yes," Alice answers quite easily, completely throwing me off my tempo yet again. 

"WHAT!?!" I demand, grabbing her by her shoulders, panicking, and then letting go of her as I realize I was not wearing gloves.

'But...but that first night, she said that...I...How many times have we touched since then? I can't even remember a time when we weren't touching! All that unprotected handholding really did bite me in the ass!!!'

I try to push Alice off me, but, as you might expect, she doesn't let me. Instead, she pins me to the beanbag chair with her butt, planting her feet and locking her fingers behind my head. She then looks up at me from below and smiles widely in the same calming, loving way she always has. 

"Sammy-baby, I need you to relax. Take a deep breath and focus on me. Nothing is wrong. We are exactly the same as we always have been. I knew this would happen from the first night." She then shoots Janet a frustrated look and continues, "But I would have expected a bit more tact from you, Janet."

Shrugging, Janet explains unapologetically, "You wanted it straight."

"A-Alice! This is a huge deal! This...I can't believe...This whole time!?!" I demand of her, replaying our entire relationship up to this point in my head. 

I stop trying to force her off me, but it is only because I suddenly feel weak and sick. 

'What have I done?'

"Samuel, look at me," Alice commands with a firmness in her voice that I've seldom heard before. 

I do so, seeing her look back with confidence, kindness, and compassion. 

"Do you love me?" She asks quietly, intimately. 

"Yes," I answer without hesitation, mirroring her earlier statement. 

"And do you trust me?" She follows up.

"Mostly," I answer just as quickly.

Alice pouts and narrows her eyes.

Sighing, I relent, "Fuuuuck, yes. I do. Happy? ...I just feel like a fucking moron now, though..." 

"Thank you, Sammy. Now, please, what does your addiction, your venom, as Janet put it, actually do?" Alice asks me to explain.

Rubbing my brow heavily in agitation, I elaborate, "It makes my victims unnaturally attached to me. My needs become their needs. My sexual satisfaction and happiness becomes their life's goal. It warps their minds and shackles their spirits to my will. It makes me all they can think about at all times: to be with me, touching me at all hours of the day and night...And it is nearly impossible to break without killing them. The compulsion will always force them back for more; more potent, more all-consuming than any mortal drug can even dream of being." I say with disdain and self-loathing.

"Thank you for explaining that," Alice says, leaning her head back on my chest and nuzzling me affectionately. "I know you hate this part of yourself, but please bear with me for a bit longer." She then turns a glare at Janet and Edwin, who stand watching with puzzled expressions on their faces.

Continuing, she asks, "Do any of your potential victims ever get to choose for themselves before it happens?"

"Huh?" I stare down at Alice with scrunched-up eyebrows before answering slowly, "No...That's not how it works. One touch is all I need to plant the seed. The more contact we have after that point, the more addicted they become. It is not something I have, or ever will ask someone to do or become for me, Alice..."

Still looking directly at Janet, Alice shrugs, "I got to choose, and that choice was mine alone to make."

The silence that fills the library is horrendously loud with incomprehension.

"You knew from the very beginning that you would be affected by his venom? That it would change you? And yet you accepted it wholeheartedly...?" Janet clarifies slowly. 

"Yes, Janet. Love changes everyone. I saw our future together, our happiness. I admit I was shocked initially, maybe even a bit nervous...I have no memory of intimacy from when I was human or anytime after, but I also saw that I could make him just as happy as he made me. I saw us touching and the wonder in his eyes when he felt no pain. I saw the passion and raw emotions within him and how he lavished those on me entirely. I saw the dedication, love, and joy in my own eyes as I willingly fell deeper and deeper into his thrall...but, aren't you just as enthralled with Edwin? Isn't Carlslie to Esme? Isn't Ross to Emily? Is there truly anything you wouldn't do for Edwin, Janet? For the love you now share?"

Looking back up at me, Alice smiles at a million watts and unlocks her fingers to trail them through my curly black hair.

"I chose this—to be his addict. I chose to put my faith blindly into my visions, as I always have. I chose to believe he would be the same man I saw...And he has yet to disappoint me. I feel more alive today than ever in all my memory. I feel more fulfilled than it is possible to put into words. I feel so loved and needed that it makes me cry tears of joy. I chose this, Janet, and I have never once regretted that choice, nor do I believe I ever will."

The emotional roller coaster I was riding reached its zenith, and as I stared into Alice's beautiful golden eyes, I didn't fight it as gravity pulled me toward her lips.

I felt tears of...I don't even know! Gratitude? Devotion? Relief? None of these words could do justice to my feelings at this moment.

"Alice..." I sob as she spins around to hug me tightly.

"I told you, Sammy. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, my mate, my love." 

"...But how can you be affected by one part, and yet I am not affected by the other? How can you be addicted when your feelings do not burn me?" I ask, trying to piece together this crucial last part.

Alice, bless her heart, tilts her head and says, "I have no clue."

I laugh at the adorableness of the pixie in my lap, but it is still broken. I am emotionally spent. 

"But I do have some theories." Alice continues, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "First, I didn't lie necessarily; I just told a half-truth. While your addiction does affect me, it is nowhere near as powerful as I think it would be to humans. I resist it, at least to a certain extent, and maintain my sense of self and free will. Second, I think it has more to do with our species of vampirism being different than us specifically. I've asked you before, and you remembered no instance of a Red and White coupling from your family and species history. Lastly...You really are hung like a horse, and it's the best thing in existence, so we can't rule out the power of lust...or even just raw animal instinct?"

Edwin starts cackling, and Janet sighs at Alice's antics. 

"Fine. You win, I'm sorry," Janet finally relents. "I should have trusted common sense would not work with you from the beginning." 

"Consider that in the future before ruining our dates." Alice nods sagely.

Janet glares at Alice this time, but then sighs and looks to me. "Sorry, Samuel. I just needed to know for The Coven's sake. I know you won't abuse this or our trust. You have done nothing to cause any of us to doubt that."

"It's...alright?" I allow slowly, "...If anything, I think you brought Alice and I closer together...But I am still going to turn you into a popsicle later as payback."

Edwin now laughs wildly, and Janet smirks at me with a competitive fire in her eyes. "We'll see about that, White."

They leave soon after, and Janet offers one last apologetic look at Alice before closing the library door.

Alice tackles me back onto the beanbag chair the second the door closes and kisses me with desperate longing. 

"I'm sorry as well. I should have told you in the beginning," she says after a long, long makeout session. 

"I mean...I feel like this is on me too. I really should have caught on waaaaaay sooner." I sigh and lay back, still struggling to wrap my head around this whole thing. 

I knew she was horny all the time, but she was pretty good at convincing me that it was a Red thing because we were brand new mates. And I don't think she was lying about that, so it must be a big part of it as well, just not the whole story. 

"But...you still love me?" Alice asks, her voice fragile once again. 

"Alice, you willingly snort me on the daily despite knowing I'm a deadly drug. You took that burden on yourself because you knew I wouldn't have even been willing to try otherwise. You accepted me, openly disregarding a flaw I had yet to reveal to you, which would literally change how you think and act, and with little to no hesitation, at that! ...If that doesn't deserve my eternal love and gratitude, then I am not sure anything in this universe could."

"Well, so long as you understand." Alice sniffs and then smiles prettily at me.

Cradling her face in my hands, I repeat for certainty's sake, "I love you, Alice Cullen."

She smiles, but it falters briefly before returning as she very quietly corrects, "Mary Alice Brandon, actually."

Confused, I tilt my head before connecting the dots, "I love you, Mary Alice Brandon. Now and forever. ...Do you want me to call you Mary from now on?"

"No. That is my past. You are my future. I'm Alice, and...well, I don't remember much of anything from that time anyway."

"Whatever you're comfortable with, Alice." I nod before saying seriously, "I'm sorry, but I must draw the line at role-playing as Mother Mary in the bedroom. We Vampires will have enough problems with Hell as it is." 

Alice laughs and shoves off of me, grabbing my hand mid-way and pulling me up with her.

"Come on; I think I need another dose." 

"Your wish is my command, my little addict."

Alice and I broke away for the night, and, despite our words, our night was filled with gentle passion instead of burning lust.

What a failure of a Raith I am.