Chapter 9: Samuel's Dark Past

When we finally arrived back at the Cullen house half a day later, it was raining because, of course, it was.

It was that awful half-sleet rain of late November. The kind that feels like someone is pelting you with ice chips. 

As we were running the whole way back, I had to take a moment to catch my breath on my knees before we entered the house.

When Alice, Elenore, and I walked through the front door, the atmosphere was as dark and ominous as the weather outside.

All the Cullens were sitting in the living room, and none of them spoke or moved as I entered. 

Ever come home knowing you fucked up and see on everyone's face that they also know you fucked up? Yeah, that was how I was feeling right now. 

Alice had assured me that none of them hated me and that they all wanted me here.

Right now, I was thinking she lied to me.

Still, gotta face the music...even if I don't remember a God damn thing. 

"I'm sorry," I say quietly, solemnly. "I have broken my word and caused you trouble not even two months after you graciously accepted me...I will grab my things and leave-" 

"The fuck you will," Emily growls as she glowers at me. "Sit your ass down, Ice Man."

I blink, but when I fail to move, Alice and Elenore solve that by dragging me over to a familiar couch. 

Once again, I sit on a black leather couch facing all the Cullens with Alice at my side. 

I would have made a Deja Vu joke if I didn't feel so out of it. 

Clearing his throat to get my attention, Carlisle takes command of the situation and gives me a tired smile as he says, "First and foremost, Samuel, we are not kicking you out of the house or the family. None of us truly know or understand what transpired three nights ago, and, until we do, we cannot make a fair judgment call. We work very hard to keep our Coven decisions logical and made with clear thoughts and calm minds. We do not react emotionally or lash out at each other in times of strife; I like to think our family foundation is built on stronger bedrock than that. This means that you will get a chance to explain yourself, your actions, and what you understand of the situation before we even think of passing any judgment. Do you understand?"

Not really. 

Is this guy for real?

How empathetic can one person be? 

I look around at the others in the room and see them confidently nodding at me as if to say, "This is just how things work here."

Alice smiles up at me encouragingly, and even Ross looks like he at least wants to hear me out. 

For some reason, this whole situation just doesn't fit with what I expect of Reds. They are all being so...kind and compassionate. 

I am not used to it, and, frankly, it makes me very uncomfortable. 

"Uh...yeah. I got you," I answer after a long pause. I suddenly feel emotional—and not necessarily in a bad way. 

'Focus on the task at hand. We can work out why their compassion makes you feel weird later.' I think, taking a deep breath and letting it out with many of my dark thoughts. 

"Excellent; now, to summarize the events as we know them: You all went to the dance and had a great time, but as you were leaving, Samuel, you collapsed to your knees in a state some say resembled shock or anguish. You started shaking, mumbling to yourself, were unresponsive to any outside stimuli, and then shot off into the night without a word. When the rest tried to follow and stop you by physically holding onto you, you lashed out and sent a wave of Ice Magic to slow them down. When that didn't work, you paused, drew in a ridiculous amount of mana, and summoned a blizzard that separated you from the group."

Carlisle waits for me to nod before continuing. This was almost exactly what Alice told me. I still didn't remember shit, unfortunately.

"After that point, you fled North into Canada, and we have not heard from you in the three days since. Elenore met Alice on your trail, and they eventually found you. When Alice went alone to talk with you...you attacked her. She and Elenore have both assured us that you were not mentally present at the moment - Still in that shell-shocked state, but the fact remains that you did attack and very nearly kill Alice."

The words are like a hammer blow to my heart.

Why am I here? I am obviously a danger to them all...if nothing else, then I am clearly a danger to their secrets and way of life.

'I should have kept running...' I think with no small amount of self-loathing. 

Alice grabs me tightly, as if sensing my thoughts, and glares at me until I look at her. When I refuse to meet her eyes, she cups my face in cold hands and forces me to. I hadn't eaten in three days and had used almost everything in the tank. I was weak as a puppy and unable to resist her strength one iota. 

"We will figure this out. You did not attack me; that was not you. We both know it. Calm down and stay with me, here, in the moment. In the worst-case scenario, you and I will leave together." She says with a steely determination and confidence that I could never match. 

A few of the vampires surrounding us let out shocked gasps. They had obviously not considered that she would choose me over the Coven. 

I hadn't considered that either, in fact.

'Fuck. Now I gotta stay. After everything I put her through...I can't make her choose me over her family...'

Firming my resolve, I look back over to Carlisle. 

He nods to Alice's comment, "I will refrain from saying that again, but it is important that we lay out the facts. Once you came to, Alice informed me you had no memory of the incident. You were just as startled by what transpired as we were, and that speaks volumes in your favor, Samuel...I hope you will forgive me, but I had Elenore check to make sure you were being truthful. To all of our relief, you were. So let me be absolutely clear: We are not kicking you out, and no one here thinks less of you because of what happened. We all believe we can work through this together, as a family should."

Again, it is like his words are crushing my soul. 

My eyes burn with regret and...happiness? Gratitude? I don't even know, but it is no less crushing than my guilt.

"T-Thank you," I barely get out, feeling broken inside.

And from the sound of it...I really might be broken inside.

Here I was, thinking Alice was a bit off her rocker, in a loving and teasing way, of course...Turns out I'm an asshole as well as a hypocrite. 

'I'm learning way more about myself than I thought I would living with Reds.'

Even so...I can confidently say I would take this over living alone and miserable any day of the week.

As I sit there and DEFINITELY DON'T START CRYING, Alice hugs me, and the room grows a bit warmer despite her freezing-cold body.

No one else speaks, but I can tell this conversation is still far from over.

After giving me a few moments to collect myself, Carlisle starts up again. He now holds a notebook and pen in his hand and seems to be reading over something as he begins, "Now then, Samuel, please tell me what you remember."

I do my best to tell him everything, but, to be honest, I don't remember any of this! I was dancing with Alice, and then we were leaving. I remember feeling panicked and like my head was spinning...then I woke up with Alice on top of me. That was all I had to tell, and I felt pretty crappy and useless for it.

Not seeming to mind my answer, Carlisle says, "I would like to ask a couple of questions if you don't mind. These are personal, and if you want to have this discussion privately, I am more than happy to move this to my office, but these are important questions that I need to know the answers to so we can start working on solutions." 

I think for a moment but eventually shrug. They all just experienced me blacking out for seemingly no reason and attacking one or more of them. I owe them some answers, even if talking about myself makes me a bit uncomfortable. 

With that in mind, I respond with, "Ask away. I will not run from you when you are standing valiantly beside me despite my transgressions."

That gets some smiles from the group - Clearly, they were hoping to learn what happened just as much as I was.

"Very well, but remember, you need not answer everything here unless you wish to. If anything is too personal, we can discuss it in private. I will be taking notes for my personal use to research the answers you provide." Carlisle explains, and I nod in agreement.

"Let's start with a bit of your history. Have you ever served in the armed forces, Samuel?" Carlisle asks and uncaps his pen as he waits for my answer.

Taken aback by the questions, I shake my head. "No, I haven't seen any organized combat. I have been in plenty of fights but never settled in one place for longer than a few years. I've avoided interacting with officials, military, and government workers as much as possible—just to be safe."

Nodding his head as he makes some notes, Carlisle continues, "And the fights you have been in. Have any been particularly violent or traumatic?"

Considering the question, I shake my head back and forth a few times, "Not really. I mean, I faced three Werewolves once in Scottland, and that was pretty fucked, but I haven't been in too many life-or-death situations before. The closest that comes to a traumatic fight was when I exchanged blows with an Archfey."

"Hold up, you fought three Werewolves at once!?!" Emily shouts with a shit-eating grin on her face that was completely out of place for such a serious conversation. "Did you win?"

I smirk back at her, "Yeah, the dumbasses followed me into a river."

Several of the Cullens chuckle darkly at that image—the others shudder in horror. 

"Which court was the Archfey a part of?" Edwin asks.

"Unaligned. He was actually my Judo instructor in San Fransico for a while if you can believe it. I made the mistake of asking him for a real spar. He kicked my ass in seconds with a single finger to show I should be careful what I wish for." I answer with a sardonic smile. "Always told me to check my ego at the door...I miss him; he was a good guy."

"We'll go and visit him sometime," Alice promises while squeezing my hand. 

"I'd like that," I answer, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Thank you for answering those questions, Samuel. My next one is about your family. Is that alright?"

I tense but let out a breath and give him a slow nod.

"Thank you. Do you know if your family had any history of mental illnesses, disorders, or psychosis?" Carlisle asks with the look of a professional at work.

"...Not that I am aware of," I answer after a measured pause.

'They really do think I'm crazy...and given recent events, I can't totally deny the possibility.'

Carlisle writes something down and then continues, "Have you or anyone in your family ever experienced blackouts, lost time, seizures, or hallucinations?"

"Again, not that I am aware of."

"I see, and have you struggled with depression or panic attacks?"

"I..." I was about to say no, but...I mean, who doesn't struggle with those at times? "Yes...but not often. It usually takes quite a bit for me to have a panic attack, and...well, being depressed is kinda my natural state."

"That, I will be fixing," Alice states confidently.

"Not sure that's how depression works, Alice." I shoot back dryly.

"With the power of love, anything is possible." She responds without a second of hesitation or embarrassment. 

Everyone in the room stares at Alice for a long moment before deciding to ignore her.

"Thank you, Samuel. I think that will be all the questions I have at the moment. I will want to start some private follow-up visits with you later, but this gives me enough to start with. " Carlisle says as he closes his notebook and tucks the pen inside.

He then sits up and looks over to Elenore, Edwin, and Janet, who all nod back to him.

"Next, and with your permission, we would like to see about inducing the state you were in again in a controlled environment." Carlisle hedges, and I gape back at him with wide, shocked eyes.

Alice growls in warning.

Raising his hands in a placating gesture, Carlisle explains, "Normally, and were I talking with a human, I would never suggest this, but we are not humans, and we are in a precarious situation. Once you are in that state, I believe that Elenore and Edwin might be able to dive deep enough to see something your conscious mind does ordinarily not project. With that, we will better understand what triggered this state and how to prevent it in the future. Again, if the situation were different and we had more time, I would suggest therapy to work this out more naturally. As it is, we need to develop a plan as soon as possible so that we all have our stories in line for when the Wizards from the White Council inevitably question us."

Even as Alice's face darkens in a scowl, I see several others nodding in agreement. 

Carlisle calmly continues: "I will not force this on you, Samuel, but I would like to point out that we are showing you quite a lot of goodwill right now. We have no plans to abuse this, and you can turn down this request if you truly feel it is not something you can do...But at the same time, we would ask you to trust us the same way we have trusted you. We ask you to let us use our powers and abilities to solve this issue unconventionally. We ask that you trust us only to have your best interest at heart, just as we trust you did not do any of this on purpose."

"But...my ice magic..." I say weakly, already deciding I would let them do it but still making a last-ditch effort to avoid it.

It really wasn't that much to ask if you consider I almost killed Alice less than a day ago. If anything, I was eager to learn what I needed to avoid so this never happens again. The idea of them pulling it from my subconscious mind was...not pleasant, but I could see the rationality and logic behind the suggestion.  

"-Will be temporarily shut down if we revoke your welcome here. You will be welcomed back as soon as we are done, regardless of what we find. You have my word on that." Carlisle completes my statement. He was ready for that, it would seem. 

Sighing, I hang my head in defeat.

"Sammy, you don't have to-"

"Do it," I say with resolve in my tone.

The room is silent for a second as everyone stares at me.

"...Are you sure?" Carlisle clarifies.

"Yes. Just get it over with. I want to start working on solutions to this as well. If this helps, then let's get it done." I look into his golden eyes, determination blazing in mine. 

Alice- hell- this entire family deserves better. I should be out on the street or dead in a gutter.

Instead, they are practically coddling me.

I was Samuel Fucking Raith: Demon of Lust and White Court Vampire from the Noble House of Raith!

I did not hide from my problems. I did not balk at the hard decisions. I did what I needed to survive...and for the first time in my life, I was doing something other than just surviving. 

I was living a good life with them here, and I would be damned if I was gonna fuck it up...Well, more so than I already did.

So, yes, I would allow this. I will face this extraordinarily terrifying experience, and I will conquer it with a little help from my friends.

"Very well, and...Thank you, Samuel. I promise your trust is not misplaced." Carlisle says with total seriousness. He then looks at Alice and gives a pained smile. 

"Alice, you have a part to play in this as well. We need to restrain him, but none of us want to tie him up or force him down ourselves. You will hug him tightly with his hands between you. This is as much to prevent him from hurting himself as it is to protect us from errant ice magic. No matter what, we cannot have another overt display, especially not in our own home. Revoking his welcome will take care of most of the problem, but I want nothing left to chance. This will also allow you to monitor him more closely than anyone else. You will protect your mate while he is at his most vulnerable."

Alice doesn't even wait for him to finish before straddling me, kissing me several times in soft, quick bursts, then moving my hands to cup her breasts while hugging me tightly and waggling her eyebrows at me. 

I roll my eyes as several of the Cullens chuckle at her antics. 

Carlisle sighs, but he wears a chagrined smile. "Are you ready, Samuel?"

"Hit me, C-Man."

Grinning at the callback, Carlisle revokes my welcome to the house, and I feel all my strength leave me.

It is only at this moment that I realize how tired I am. My muscles ache, and my head feels cloudy. 

'It's like I've been up for four days straight or something,' I think with an exhausted giggle twinged with just a little too much madness for my liking.

Janet takes center stage this time, standing up and walking before Alice and me. 

"I am not sure if this has anything to do with it, but I noticed that you started acting strangely right around the time this song was played. I remember it because it is one of Edwin's and my wedding songs. We were talking about it right when you fell to your knees."

I tilt my head quizzically, not remembering any particular song that had a strong connection to me. Still, if this doesn't work, I am sure there will be other methods they have thought of. 

"Sure, no problem," I answer, honestly not expecting this to do anything.

Alice rests her head on my shoulder, and I am blowing an errant lock of her black hair out of my mouth...when the world starts to shake.

Oh My Love - My Darling - Roy Orbison

Monster.

I am a monster.

I killed her.

It's my fault.

I shouldn't exist.

* | * | *

POV Change: 3rd Person

The first clue that the song had worked came from a shocked squeak from Alice.

"Sammy...? Sammy!"

Samuel sat on the couch, his eyes unfocused. He mumbled under his breath and shook violently into Alice's embrace. However, revoking his welcome seemed to do the trick, as no ice magic radiated from him.

"It worked, happy? Shut that fucking song off now, Janet!" Alice snarls with barely contained fury.

"No, Alice. We will probably need to put it on repeat, in fact. I need you to try and calm down, please." Carlisle contradicts.

Alice bears her teeth. They were hurting her mate. They wanted to keep hurting her mate.

But...

She closes her eyes and forces herself to breathe deeply. This does nothing for her dead lungs but does help to calm her mind. 

They were family. They were trying to help. 

The emotions from her and Samuel's relationship being so fresh and her slight addiction to him combined into a potent hormonal cocktail, but she was above succumbing to her instincts and emotions. 

She had to be. She couldn't have survived off animals and resisted drinking human blood if not.

"Fine. Just hurry up." She answers after a long moment of centering herself.

"Agreed, let's get this done as quickly as possible," Carlisle says. Then he turns to Elenore and Edwin and continues, "You will be diving deep. I want you to promise that you will keep secret anything he does not want to share. We are already violating his mind, and he is putting his trust in us. We need to avoid damaging that trust to the best of our abilities. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Both Edwin and Elenore say at the same exact time and with the same exact nod. 

It is rare, but they do have "Twin Moments" every once in a while. Were this any less serious of a moment, the others would have probably laughed at them. 

As it was, however, everyone felt like a coiled spring. Nervous for what they might find out, but also ready to act if something went wrong. 

The realization that they might have to subdue Alice if things go badly weighed heavily on their minds. 

"Whenever you're ready." Carlisle softly speaks the go-ahead.

Elenore grabs Edwin's hand, who makes an annoyed face for a second before they both close their eyes. 

All the Cullens, with the exception of Alice, stare at the twins in tense silence as they start focusing. Their powers work in tandem, forming a feedback loop. Elenore reads the words and thoughts while Edwin takes them and makes them into the images of the associated memories, which Elenore then reads from Edwin's mind to know where to narrow her search.

It had taken them over half a century to perfect this combination ability, but...well, they had nothing but time. 

Edwin would only share the memories with Elenore to protect Samuels's privacy, but neither twin felt good about this. They hated being seen as mindrapists, and, what's worse, they knew the person thinking that most usually didn't mean it. It was just an errant thought, something they think and then brush aside as not worth keeping or thinking more about.

It doesn't hurt any less when they hear it, especially from family.

As the twins begin their dive into Samuel's subconscious, Alice buries her face in his neck, wanting to comfort him and whisper sweet, encouraging things in his ear to try and coax him out of this state, but that would defeat the whole purpose and the brave sacrifice he was making.

With that in mind, she focused instead on holding him tightly, but not tight enough to hurt him. 

There is a moment of tense silence as everyone waits in anticipation, broken only by the song playing softly in the background. 

Then...

"AAAAAAHHH!!!"

Elenore and Edwin collapse to the ground, screaming in agony. 

Edwin launches himself at the wall opposite everyone, cracking the plaster and splintering the stud behind the wall before curling into the fetal position and raising his hands as if to prevent a hit about to land. 

Elenore stares blankly up at the ceiling as she, too, slowly curls up on herself, silent tears falling from her eyes as the scream dies in her throat.

The reactions of the other Cullens were no less dramatic. 

Emily and Ross launch to their feat and take defensive positions, looking around wildly for whoever was attacking them.

Carlisle's eyebrows are nearly raised to his hairline as he, too, stands and wraps Esme into his embrace for protection. He doesn't look around, however. Instead, his wild eyes lock onto Samuel, assessing a threat. 

Janet is over to Edwin in a blink, but is horrified by her mate's reaction when she closes in to check on him.

"No! Get away! No more! Please, no more!" Edwin screams, and Janet can hear every syllable's raw, desperate, panicked terror. 

Edwin was trapped in whatever he saw. Then, Elenore...

Elenore stared blankly at the ceiling, tears still trailing down her cheeks. She didn't move; she just lay there.

Janet's eyes snap to Samuel, a look of murder building on her face.

Alice still holds Samuel, but a look of equal parts challenge and reproach meets Janet's murderous glare.

While those two were staring each other down, Carlisle came to a realization. 

They were reacting to something they saw. 

Which means whatever they saw had actually happened to Samuel.

What could cause such a visceral, traumatizing reaction? 

He didn't know and wouldn't know until things calmed down. 

So, as ever, he became the voice of reason.

"Enough! Stand down, everyone! We are not under attack."

"We'll go check the perimeter, just in case. The screams were pretty loud." Emily says, grabbing Ross' arm and not waiting for permission. 

Carlisle sighs but accepts that as a good decision. He then gives Esme a reassuring smile and motions for her to sit again. 

Esme, who has been trapped in Carlisle's embrace the whole time, looks shell-shocked by what she just witnessed. She sits down robotically and stares with her mouth slightly ajar. 

"Janet, stand down. Calm yourself. This is the price they pay for their abilities. It is no one's fault. Samuel didn't do this to them on purpose." Carlisle continues to play mediator. 

"And how many more times will he accidentally endanger us, Carlisle? Do you see Edwin and Elenore right now? What if this is permanent?" Janet spits with unrestrained animosity, her southern drawl coming out deeply in her agitation. 

She has never been good with controlling her emotions, even at the best of times. Due to her power, the atmosphere in the room clearly wreaked havoc on her emotional state. 

Alice bears her teeth and snarls back, "And whose idea was this again, Janet? You want someone to blame, look in the fucking mirror."

Janet reels back as if struck but then takes up a fighting stance, seconds from launching herself at Alice. 

'So much for responses based on logic and without emotion,' Carlisle sighs but readies himself to intervene. 

That is when Edwin came back.

"Wait..." He says softly, his voice tired and ragged from the screaming.

Janet is inches from him in a mili-second, her anger forgotten. "Edy, are you alright? Are you back with me?"

"I'm A-Okay," he says weakly, giving her a thumbs up.

"Fuck. That sucked." Elenore groans, sitting up slowly.

"That doesn't do it justice. That was the single worst experience I have ever had. I'm not going to sleep for years." Edwin chuckles mirthlessly. 

Janet snorts, then starts bawling as she dives into Edwin's embrace. The fact that he flinches before he hugs her back makes her cry all the harder.

"Let's all take a moment to calm ourselves and recuperate. We will wait for Ross and Emily to return, and then we will discuss what just happened." Carlisle exhales shakily, letting out the tension and relief he feels at things deescalating.  

"Turn the song off," Alice demands slowly.

No one argues this time, and Janet quickly picks up her iPod and speaker, shutting them off and ending the soft music before returning to Edwin.

She stews in regret at her earlier words...It was, after all, her idea. 

Despite the music ending, Samuel shows no sign of waking. In fact, during the entire debacle, he sat, eyes vacant, body shaking, and mumbling softly under his breath. 

Silence fills the room as everyone focuses on their partners or themselves. 

When Emily and Ross finally return, the mood is noticeably calmer. 

"All clear," Ross announces before leading Emily back to their spot. 

"Good, now then...Are you both up for talking about it?" Carlisle asks, his concern etched in his words. 

"Before that...I'm sorry, Alice. You're right; it was my idea, and the fault lies on my shoulders. I shouldn't have snapped like that...the mood, the raw emotions, they got the better of me." Janet offers a quiet but sincere apology. 

Alice sighs but sends her sister a small smile. "It's fine. We are all wound up. I'm also sorry for my words; I only added to the chaos."

Edwin shares a look with Elenore, and they both shudder before closing their eyes. 

Janet and Carlisle immediately worry that they are trying it again but relax when the twins open their eyes at the same time. They had been organizing their thoughts and what to say...

'How the hell do I even explain this...' Elenore thinks. She had to preserve his secrets, of which there were many, but she also needed everyone to know and realize just how bad things were. 

"First, and this really is the most important thing," Elenore starts, "Samuel has always been honest with us. He presents himself as exactly what he believes himself to be. He has never lied to us about himself or his past, and he honestly has no recollection of anything we are about to tell you."

"Thank God for that," Edwin adds, with a dark scowl on his face. "I have no idea how he functions. He is...it's so fucked. Worse than anything we could have imagined."

"Yes...and for you to truly understand, you must hear it all. I will warn you, however, it will be painful." Elenore preempts softly.

Alice looks pale as a sheet as she looks from Elenore to Edwin, then finally to Samuel. Her expression shifts from nervousness to anger and then from anguish to determination. 

In a way, she had it harder than all of them. While they had to deal with the knowledge, and Samuel eventually had to learn of whatever horror his past held, she had to navigate between feeling her own grief for him and being a support for him while he goes through...whatever it is he goes through.

She would be his rock, his anchor to the happy life they were building, no matter what she had to do to be that for him.

That was on top of her dealing with the emotions brought along by the revelations she was about to receive.

And what an absolute nightmare they were.

Ross and Emily share concerned looks that are mirrored on Carlisle and Esme's faces. Janet holds Edwin as she waits for more information, and Elenore gets up from the ground on shakey legs to sit on the couch with a boneless flop.

"Alright. Let's get this over with so I can do my best to suppress these memories for the rest of my life." Elenore begins with a shakey breath to center herself. "Samuel's mind is...well, damaged is the best word for it, but it really doesn't do the severity justice...Think of his mind like a mountain. On top of that mountain is a hastily and poorly built house. That is the Samuel we know. Below the house, deep inside the mountain, there is a secret underground facility filled with labyrinthine, collapsed, flooded, or otherwise damaged tunnels. Each memory down there is fragmented and corrupted, but there was enough for Edwin and I to get the general gist of what happened to him. 

Continuing after a pause, another tear rolling down her cheek, Elenore grimaces and continues, "Samuel is wrong about his history, or, to be more accurate, the first 20 years of his history after his family's massacre. He did hide under the floorboards on the night of that attack, but he did not escape the Volturi."

The Cullens gasp at the implications, and a shuddering sob can be heard from Alice as she once again buries her face in Samuel's chest.

"He was captured by Aria and branded as her personal slave. One of his tattoos covers up the scar left by the branding. She locked him in a cage in a supply closet near her room, and Samuel spent the first several years there being tortured almost every day," Edwin says softly, deep sadness in his words. "His memories from that time...They are intense but broken, like jagged shards of glass. Long periods are just gone, missing entirely. He lost hope of escaping after the first year...and lost his mind in the third. The memories for the five years after that are practically non-existent."

Alice wails as the rest are shocked into disbelieving silence.

"Even after he stopped responding, Aria wasn't done with him," Elenore continues, anger sharpening her words as if curses. "She brought in a Jade Court Vampire from Korea. I don't know her name, but she goes by The Spider. If Samuel knew her name, he either doesn't remember or...the memory was forcibly removed. The Spider is a mind reader, like us, but her power is to edit memories instead of just seeing them. She..." Here, Elenore lets out a sob but wipes her eyes savagely before continuing. 

"She and Aria rebuilt Samuel's mind from the ground up during that five year gap. He was reprogrammed, made into a perfect agent, and...pet." Elenore snarls the word, her fists balled in rage. "She dehumanized him. She made him sleep on the floor on a dog bed, eat garbage out of a pet bowl, and worse, she made him like it. All the while, she laughed and laughed at the stupid inferior race he was. I don't know why she hates White Court Vampires so much, but her fury and abuse were never-ending. She loved to watch him suffer. She poisoned him. She stabbed him. She beat him within an inch of his life...and she even had the gall to make him smile at her whenever they met. She called him her cute little doggy...I...I'm going to be sick." 

And she was. Elenore bent over the armrest and threw up what little was in her dead stomach, then proceeded to dry heave several more times.

Alice was inconsolable with grief, and the rest of the Cullens felt numb.

Edwin was right; this was more horrible than they could have ever imagined.

"The worst thing..." Edwin growls out, rejoining the conversation, "And the reason behind his reaction to the song and some trigger words we will write down for you...Was what she did when she fed him lust. She would starve him to the brink of death...and then bring in innocent human women for him to drain dry. Then, she would act like it was his fault. Like he did something wrong. Like he couldn't control himself and because of that, he was this way: A monster. She and that Jade bitch tied the whole thing to the worst, most traumatic experience of his life. The time when he became a White Court Vampire and accidentally killed his girlfriend at 17."

"Monster, you're a monster. You will always be a monster. Why do you do this to yourself? Why can't you control yourself? You are the worst, Samuel. Your life is meaningless. You shouldn't exist. Monster." Elenore mimics Aria's voice in a shrill, rude interpretation. "Over and over, never ending! She is the monster! She is pure fucking evil! How can someone do that to another person!?!" She roars, slamming her fist through the armrest of her chair in her agitation. 

No one begrudged her. The looks on all the Cullen's faces are one of murderous rage.

"I'm going to kill her," Alice states in a calm voice that belied the inferno building in her chest.

"...Alice-" Carlisle tries, but he can barely get a word out before Alice's bellow of anger engulfs the house.

"I'm going to kill her! That fucking bitch! Don't you dare try to fucking stop me, Carlisle! She will die in the most painful way I can think of, and I will use my foresight to ensure it really is the most painful way. I will break her empire, finances, friendships, emotions, and finally, when she has nothing and no one left, I will break her, piece by piece! I'll make her eat her own flesh! I...I...RAAAAAAG!!!" Alice shoots to her feet and starts pacing back and forth before screaming, practically howling, and sprinting into the forest. 

Loud crashes and the sound of toppling trees can be heard growing more and more distant as she heads deeper into the woods away from Forks.

The rest sit still as stone as they continue to process what they have learned and reconcile with the fact that Alice would not be talked out of this.

After 15 minutes, a panting Alice returns, covered from head to toe in bark, pine needles, dirt, and sap. She falls to her knees in front of Samuel, still comatose and unmoving, and starts letting out heartbroken sobs.

"That...was the worst of it." Edwin finally continues, "But the horror story is not done yet. Once he was reprogrammed, Aria used him as a spy and agent to get what she wanted done all over Europe. She would let him out for missions and then lock him back up when he was done. Again, I don't really understand how he was functioning, but he was very good at his job. His willpower is, frankly, staggering...Anyway, he did work for her for 14 years before he was sent on a job that got him captured. Aria overextended and targeted some assets from another Volturi leader, Margret, and Samuel was caught in the act. Ironically, he was treated better as a prisoner than he was in Aria's custody..." Edwin lets out a tired, hollow laugh.

"Aria couldn't let her pet talk about her operations, as he had a hand in many of them, so she snuck him out and called The Spider back to Italy."Elenore resumes, "They then wiped him clean of anything that could be used against Aria, or, at least, they tried to. His mind collapsed during the attempt, and he went completely unresponsive. Rather than fully rebuilding his mind once again, they rushed it, suppressed all his original memories, made a new, practically blank mind on top of it disassociated from his original one, and sent him packing. His only instructions were to run from the Volturi and remain hidden. Aria planned to pick him up again in half a century so he could continue working for her...he...he also has a tracker in him. A GPS chip they use for...dogs..."

Alice screams again, though this time, it is more from emotional pain than anger.

"After that, it is exactly as he remembers it. The only important distinction was that he was literally rebuilding his mind himself. And the fact that he doesn't even realize it is astounding. There were so many blank spaces that he had to fill with assumptions and made-up experiences. He is much more stable now, but his mind is still fragile. A single push too hard and it would shatter once again." Edwin finishes with a grave warning.

Again, silence is the only thing that greets this ominous proclamation. 

"So...what do we do now?" Esme asks, looking shaken but holding herself together.

"First, I will need to get that tracker out of him. I think I will mail it to Zimbabwe." Carlisle chuckles darkly.

"We kill them," Alice growls. "Every last one of them. Anyone who has anything to do with this, no matter how remotely. I can't live in a world with people like that."

"Agreed," Ross says, and that stops many of them short as they look at him with raised eyebrows. "What? Don't look at me like that. No one deserves to live through what he did. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing they could do it again, and I didn't stop them."

"Atta' Boy," Emily says with a savage grin before punching her fist into her other hand, creating a small shockwave of force. "Yeah, let's end the fuckers."

"It'll take a lot of work...and a lot of allies," Janet comments, but she doesn't deny the suggestion out of hand.

"We've made some friends. More than a few hate the Volturi." Edwin shrugs. "So long as we are smart about it, I think we can take 'em."

"Is it really even murder if they are evil psychopaths? Wouldn't that just make us heroes?" Elenore goads with a conspiratorial smile.

Sighing, Carlisle opens his mouth to speak, pauses at Alice's challenging glare, and sighs again. He shares a look with Esme, who nods in encouragement, and then, finally, speaks his decision. "Then, from this day forward, The Olympian Coven prepares for war against the Volturi."

Exhaling a deep breath, he continues, "But if we are to do this, we must do it intelligently. We will not march to our deaths, and we will not put ourselves needlessly at risk. If they come to us, then all bets are off, but otherwise, we will take our time gathering trustworthy allies and keep our plans secret until we are ready to execute them. This means you will not be running off on a death mission to Italy, Alice." 

Alice nods and says, "Obviously. I already told you I am going to tear apart everything Aria loves. That will take time and planning. I can let my anger stew for a few decades while all the pieces fall into place...besides..." Here, she looks over to Samuel, still unmoving, and the pain she feels knowing why he is this way nearly breaks her. "He needs time to heal."

"My thoughts exactly," Carlisle agrees with a frown. "We cannot burden Samuel with this, not yet. His mind literally can't take it. We need to build up positive feelings, emotions, and memories to anchor his psyche to this personality. I will look into mind healers...I think I knew one in Peru at one point...I will also do some deeper research in psychology. The last time I studied that was in the early 80s, so I would assume I have quite a bit to catch up on. We cannot tell him yet, but make no mistake, the second we think he can handle the information, we will tell him...None of us would want this kept from us if it were our memories."

The Cullens all nod in agreement. 

As they prepare to separate for some much-needed alone time to process the information, Alice walks up to Janet.

"Please, train me. I want to learn to fight. I am weak right now, but I want to be ready when the time comes. I need to become stronger, more deadly, and more skilled at thinking about battles, surprises, and ambushes. I want to be able to protect Sammy from anything the world throws at us. So, please, Janet, train me."

At her earnest request and at the fire she sees lit in Alice's eyes, Janet smiles savagely. "I think we all could get a bit more serious in our training. Yes, I will train you but know that it will not be easy. It will not be fun. You will hate me, and that is exactly what I want. I will push you to your limits and make you grow or die trying. And when we face the Volturi, not a single one of us will die. We will cull hundreds of them before they lay so much as a finger on us!" She makes her oath, throwing her hand out in front of her. 

Alice smirks and puts her hand on top of Janet's.

Elenore is quick to join as well.

Edwin adds his hand to the pile, pulling out a black Sharpie marker for some reason but putting it away sheepishly at Janet's glare.

Emily gives a wicked grin and adds her hand, and Ross rolls his eyes but puts his on top all the same.

Carlisle chuckles as he adds his, shortly followed by Esme.

"To protect Samuel and defend this world from the injustice of the Volturi," Janet says solemnly. 

The group echoes the sentiment with affirmations before breaking away. 

Alice pulls Samuel into her arms and takes him up to their bedroom. Carlisle comes in 15 minutes later and puts Samuel to sleep with a shot. He then finds the tracker in Samuel's arm and expertly removes it with little difficulty. Samuel would be healed from the wound within a few short hours. Carlisle gives Alice a long hug before he leaves.

Alice smiles as she gently kisses Samuels's forehead before leaving her room and heading for the Cullen library.

She has a book to read—one she has never been interested in reading before this point, but one that feels like a logical first step in her newly forming plans.

Alice gets settled in her and Samuel's favorite reading spot and opens the book she pulled from a dusty shelf.

'Alright, Sun Tzu - Teach me all about winning a war.'