Chapter 2 - ...I Get To Live?

The Cullen's house was a huge glass and wooden structure in the middle of the woods in Forks, Washington. 

If I am being honest, it seems rather impractical and gaudy...Which is exactly why I loved it at first sight. 

"Wow, nice place," I say offhandedly as I break the awkward silence in Emily's Red 2004 Jeep Wrangler. We are waiting for the others to arrive so that I can have a full escort before we enter, or something like that.

'Heaven forbid the weak White Court vamp isn't surrounded by 20 fucking Reds...' I grumble to myself internally.

Emily was in the driver's seat, of course, with Ross in the front seat next to her. Alice sat beside me in the backseat and had given up on trying to be subtle about her glances at some point during the drive. She spent the last half staring at me openly and smiling when I looked over at her.

"Thanks!" She chirps excitedly, "Esme had it refurbished before we moved here. It is apparently over 100 years old! It is also very isolated and we don't have to hide our abilities as much. Speaking of which, what abilities do you have, Samuel? I am not familiar with White Court Vampires, but you sound fascinating."

Alice had somehow closed the distance between us as she spoke and was now quite close to me. Uncomfortably close. 

I smile flatly and, gently, push her out of my personal space a bit. She pouts at that but doesn't say anything else. 

"Well, seeing as you are literally holding my life in your hands and as, whether you kill me or not, I am probably the last of my kind, I guess I can share," I say, and nearly smirk when I see both Alice and Emily flinch at my words. Ross just turns his head to glare menacingly at me. 

"I can influence the minds of those I lock eyes with, use rudimentary ice magic, eat the lust of those within 10 meters of me, and I don't sparkle like a disco ball in the sun," I say with a warm smile. Again, enjoying the pained looks on all three of their faces this time. 

"Oh, and I also am incredibly handsome and well hung, but that is all me and my genetics, no powers involved." Alice lets out a small squeal and covers her face with her hands, Emily smirks and chuckles, and Ross gives me a death glare when I add this. 

"No more talking," Ross growls out. "Just shut up and wait for the rest."

"Ross! Stop being so mean!" Alice shouts at him, "Samuel has done nothing wrong, remember?"

"His existence is wrong, according to the Volturi, and I am on the side of not dying," Ross grumbles as he crosses his arms. He stops talking however when he sees the sharp look Emily is giving him. 

Alice glares at him for a few seconds, before turning to me and raising a hand to put on my shoulder in comfort. "Don't worry Samuel. I won't let them hurt you."

I am a bit startled by the determination in her smoldering golden eyes. 

'She's...actually quite pretty.' I think as a small smile comes to my face. 

I decide to forgo a snarky comment and go with a simple nod instead. There is not a very good chance I come out of this alive, but she is being nice to me, so I guess I can be nice as well.  

Before anything else can be said between us, a black Mercedes S55 AMG pulls up in the gravel driveway of the Cullen house and Carlisle, Esme, Janet, and Edwin step out. They take positions around the Jeep and wait for me.

I sigh. 

It is rather cruel of them to give me all this false hope.

I know Red Court Vampires, and they are all selfish creatures. I fully expect an ambush as soon as I step inside the house - More than likely they wanted to get me to an isolated location before killing me. There is less mess and cleanup that way.

I exit the Jeep with Ross close beside me, as if daring me to run so he could break a few bones while getting me back. His intimidation is rather lackluster, however, because he quickly takes a sheepish step back when Emily crosses her arms behind him and narrows her eyes. 

I follow the group silently as they enter the house.

When I get to the door, I stand there and wait impatiently. Ross looks ready to push me inside, so I eventually give up and ask, "...Are you going to invite me in?"  

Alice shows a look of understanding and is about to speak when Carlisle interrupts her. "Sorry, Samuel, but no, we are not."

I nod as I roll my neck in preparation and take a step inside the house anyway.

For White Court Vampires, we might not get all sparkly in the sun, but we still have other negatives. I was really hoping they wouldn't know about this one, but it appears Carlisle is rather informed.

White Court Vampires can enter homes uninvited, but when they pass the threshold, their powers are locked down until they leave again or are properly invited in. This phenomenon is supposed to affect the Red Court Vampires as well, but I am not entirely sure how. I assume that they would not be allowed in at all if they were not invited, but I could be wrong. I have been actively avoiding interacting with them, after all. 

A visible shiver of discomfort runs down my spine, and I slump somewhat as I enter the home uninvited. From this moment on, I might as well be entirely human.  

The inside of the house was separated into different sections with raised and lowered platforms. The living room has a fireplace with several different leather couches and chairs surrounding it. A giant flatscreen TV is mounted on the wall above the fireplace and the flooring is a plush white carpet. 

Beyond the living room are semi-closed spaces for the dining room, the kitchen, and a billiard room with a bar. A staircase is visible on the back left side heading up to another floor and two doors are closed below it.  

Alice grabs my arm and leads me to a black leather couch in the spacious living room area. She sits next to me, but the rest of her "Family" find other places to be as they prepare for this conversation. 

I also prepare myself; only for me, it is preparation for an inevitable death. However, they didn't ambush me like I originally assumed they would, so I am slightly more hopeful. 

Carlisle crosses a leg and steeples his hands as he sits in a brown leather armchair. Esme stands behind him to his right, looking rather pensive. Janet and Edwin sit on an opposite couch across from us, separated by a dark oak coffee table, and Emily and Ross stand off to the side, blocking the front door in case I try to bolt.

"Now...Samuel Roland Raith, correct?" Carlisle starts.

"Yes. White Court Vampire from the Proud and Noble House of Raith: The Original Demons of Lust."

Carlisle frowns at the word "Demon" but nods otherwise. 

"I have heard your story from Edwin in the car, but would you mind repeating it for me? Please know that Edwin will be using his ability once again. We must get a full understanding of your character before we proceed."

I pause before answering...I wouldn't say I like this idea, but I suppose this is as good of a place as any to plead my case. As Alice has already insisted, other than existing as what I am, I really haven't done anything wrong.

In the 40 years since my family died, I have done everything I could to fly under the radar, which included refraining from killing humans...Well, other than when I awakened my powers. But that was 1 time back when I was 17, and it was outside my control. 

"Very well...How much do you want to know?" I ask cautiously.

"Just from-" Carlisle starts, but Alice interrupts him. 

"All of it." She matches her eyes with the others. "If you truly want to understand why I stood up for him and why he is worth saving, please listen and see all of it. The "Me" in my vision knew it all, and I could tell that I had complete trust in him and his character."

I look at her in concern, genuinely feeling bad for what she might see and experience. "...Are you sure? My life has kinda sucked ass."

She smiles reassuringly. "Yes. They need to see you the way I do."

Okay, Misses Met-Me-Less-Than-An-Hour-Ago. Calm your tits.

Still, she is trying to help me, so I nod slowly and recount my life. 

The gist of it is as follows:

• My family was killed when I was 18.
  • The 3 bitches that rule the Volturi personally came and slaughtered my entire House.
  • I hid under the floorboards and watched them die, as well as watched my family home burn to the ground on top of me.
• From that moment on, and for the next 40 years, I lived on the run. 
  • Working odd jobs for money
  • Went to high school and college on repeat to feed off of my radius lust absorption ability
  • Always looking over my shoulder in fear
  • Never knowing friendship or companionship
• Oh, and my psyche is pretty fucked.
  • I have horrible insomnia
  • I have bouts of crippling anxiety and depression
  • I hide my pain behind a mask of confidence, pride, and arrogance. At this point, it is hard to distinguish if my personality is fake or if it has become a reality based on how long I have lived wearing my mask.

By the end of telling my full life story, it is late in the evening, and I am actually feeling pretty good. 

'Is this what it is like to see a shrink?' I wonder absentmindedly. 

The Cullen's were less enthused.

Everyone, and I do mean everyone, - Looking at you Rossy-Poo - was crying by the end of my story. Edwin did as Alice asked and gave them all the feelings as well as the memories in my subconscious. Everything that I felt and lived through, they did as well for the last few hours.

I still didn't feel too thrilled about his power, but I suppose it was helping my case now, so I shouldn't complain. 

It took several minutes and a break for the Cullen family to settle down again. 

'Bunch of pansies.' I think with a huff. 'A little genocide getting you down? Bah. I eat this shit for breakfast. I fight my inner demons in death matches every time I lay down to sleep...Okay, even I can admit that I am probably not all there in the head anymore...'

I sit quietly on the couch as Alice hugs me, still sniffling. 

I tried to get her to back off, but she refused, so I eventually just gave up. She can literally lift me with one hand right now, so getting her off me is impossible. 

"Samuel..." Carlisle starts after everyone has settled down again, "On behalf of my kind, and speaking for all of my family here, I would like to apologize for the atrocities that have been laid upon you and your family. I am not a fan of the Volturi and how they operate, and I know none in this house truly are, but after seeing what they have done to you...to your kind - A race that should be our brothers - I feel inexhaustible hatred towards them."

He takes a deep breath as a tremor of said anger runs down his body before he suppresses it in his natural calm and continues, "Be that as it may, we are not able to fight them. We are not able to defeat them, and if we were to try, we would all perish."

Janet and Ross give pained and solemn nods at his words.

He turns from me and looks at the rest of the vampires in the room. "Still, that does not mean we should just sit by and let them have you, or, worse yet, kill you ourselves...We are faced with a very difficult decision. One that is, arguably, the most challenging and polarizing to date...I would like each of you to take the next 30 minutes to discuss Samuel's situation with your partner and come up with your opinions on the matter. Afterward, we will have a family meeting and call up Elenore, Edwin's sister whom you have not met yet, and explain the situation to her. Then, we will vote and decide how we will proceed. Is everyone in agreement with this?"

Nods and a few quiet "Yes"s are given as the group retreats to different corners of the house with each other. 

Alice stays by my side and continues to hug me, confident in her decision already.

Despite myself, I find her hug comforting. It is odd, as I usually hate people touching me, but she reminds me of a small animal, and it doesn't seem to bother me as much as it usually would. 

It also helps that she is not touching my bare skin anywhere, thanks in part to keeping my arms up on the back of the couch and out of her reach. I am not taking any chances with that. 

The 30 minutes passed quicker than I could have possibly imagined. I sit silently on the couch, trying to enjoy the last few moments of life that I have left.

These couches are pretty comfortable. I will give the Cullen's that. 

Carlisle asks Alice to join him and the rest in the kitchen while they call up this Elenore chick and make their decision. 

It is an odd feeling knowing that my life is being decided behind a half-wall less than 10 feet away from me. It's surreal in its sense of unbelievability. I almost feel like I am looking at myself and my life from the outside, watching as it passes before my eyes; as if I was falling to my death in slow motion. 

Showing a modicum of trust for me, they leave me alone in the living room, unguarded and unattended. 

There is no point in running, however. They can hear whatever I do out here even if I cannot do the same with them without my powers. So even this is just a false sense of trust and not a genuine gesture. Still, it feels better than being guarded by the blonde oaf Ross. 

After another hour of deliberation, with talks getting heated to the point of me hearing audible shouting coming from the kitchen next door, they emerged looking exhausted - An impressive feat for those who do not need sleep. 

Technically, I don't need to sleep either, but I enjoy it quite a bit and get grouchy if I don't get my 10 hours of beauty rest. I will miss that the most, I think.

They form up around me, some smiling and some looking less than thrilled. 

"Well, Samuel, we have come up with a solution that we think will work best for everyone, or, at least, mostly everyone," Carlisle says with a tired smile. 

"Lay it on me, C-man," I say with a carefree smile, not at all revealing the inner turmoil I was going through,

He chuckles good-naturedly at my nickname. 

"We have decided that, so long as you agree to be Alice's mate, and so long as she agrees to keep an eye on you and keep you in line, we will pretend you are one of us and let you live here with us under our protection."

I blink.

Excuse me?

What was that?

Was that English, or did he just speak another language? 

I run a hand through my shoulder-length black hair and take a deep breath to calm myself before speaking. 

"So, just to clarify...Not only will you let me live...but you want me to...date your daughter as well?" I ask, feeling that I must have misheard or misunderstood something. 

"Not date her, be her mate. Her bonded. Her Partner. For our kind, it is much more than simply courting, Samuel." He answers with a warm smile, "It would be more accurate to say that it is closer to, or even more committed than, marriage."

I blink again, shaking my head in confusion.

"Let me get this straight." I say, sitting up and looking at Carlisle as if he was crazy, "You want me to marry your daughter, and, in exchange, you will let me live in Forks and protect me from the world's most powerful and deadly vampire organization? One that would do nearly anything to ensure I was eradicated from this Earth?" I ask again for clarification.

Hearing and understanding his words are two entirely separate things, and this sounds so unbelievably ridiculous that I am having trouble following along. 

"Yes. Though there will be additional rules to follow, and you will need to wear golden contacts at all times once we leave Forks. Instead of lying to the Volturi, we will simply tell them half-truths: That we accepted a new vampire named Samuel into our family, and by explaining that your ability is the power to feel lust within 10 meters of yourself. This should prevent them from wanting to meet you as, frankly, I doubt that "Lust Detection" is an ability that they are at all interested in, and they only want to meet with and poach vampires with powerful abilities."

Wow. Okay. 

So then...

Okay, I get to live.

I get to live? 

Holy shit, I get to live!

Only...there is a glaring problem here.

"Thank you, Carlisle, it is a very generous offer, but I need to ask one last clarifying question before I accept," I say slowly. This brings frowns to most of the Cullen's faces as they can't believe I would try to negotiate from my current position. 

I wouldn't either if I were them, but I am not negotiating at all. I am trying to figure out if this will truly work or not.

Alice looks up from where she is hugging me with laser focus and a vulnerable expression.

"Very well, ask away." He answers me patiently. 

"Will I...Will I have to l-love Alice to be her mate? Will she have to love me?" I ask, having trouble even getting the damnable word out of my mouth. 

The Reds around me give me looks like I am the dumbest person in the world. Even Alice gives me an "Are you for real?" look.

"Yes...Samuel. While I can't force you to love Alice, she will undoubtedly love you." Carlisle explains with the patience of a saint while cocking his head to the side as if starting to pick up on something.

I sigh. 

Fuck. This is gonna suck. 

"In that case, I will have to decline," I answer quietly. 

...

...

...

Silence overtakes the room as mouths drop open. Alice starts tearing up, looking absolutely miserable and removes herself from my embrace for the first time since she returned from the other room with their decision.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!?!" Roars Ross as he barrels towards me and lifts me by my shirt off the ground. He looks ready to beat my skull in, and I can only smile sadly at him. 

Alice does nothing to stop him this time as she starts crying while Esme runs up to hug her, a look of murder in her eyes as well.

"Stop!" Carlisle yells, and it is the first time I have heard him raise his voice.

"Carlisle, let's just kill this selfish prick! I knew we should have-" Ross starts, but is interrupted with a hand on his shoulder by Carlisle.

"I said, stop." He says calmly, but there is a fierce command in his eyes. 

For a second, it looks as if Ross is going to ignore him and kill me anyway. I can tell that he really, really wants to.

But in the end, Ross scoffs and throws me down on the couch, nearly hard enough for me to bounce off the other end of it.

Edwin and Janet give me acidic looks as if wondering why they ever trusted me to begin with, and Emily looks ready to join Ross in beating me to death. 

Once I am back down on the couch, feeling dazed but alive, the room returns to silence, with only the soft crying of Alice filling the space.

"Explain, please," Carlisle asks quietly, but even he looks pissed. 

I look over at Alice with a sad smile. 

Yeah, this fucking sucks. Especially, after all she has said and done sticking up for me...but there is no other way. This is how it always has to be with my kind. 

"It's because I am a White Court Vampire. More specifically, because I am a Raith." I answer simply, ready to explain further when Esme interrupts me.

"Because of that!?! What, is she not good enough for your 'Noble' self!?!" She demands in outrage.

Carlisle, however, seems to finally understand, no doubt remembering something from the past that explains this situation to him. 

"It's because of love, isn't it?" He clarifies.

I nod.

The rest look at him in confusion and then look to me waiting to hear more.

'Looks like they didn't see this part from Edwin's ability. If I had to guess, he can only view short snapshots of the memories associated with his target's thoughts, not read the thoughts themselves. Leaves some of myself unseen, at least.'

I sigh once again and explain further.

"White Court Vampires are not weak to the sun, wooden stakes, or holy symbols." I explain in barely a whisper, feeling terrible, "We do not feel the thirst for blood that you do. We are not as strong as you, and our senses are far less powerful, but, in exchange, we get to live completely normal lives as if we were humans... The strength we gain in feeding off emotions is also is our greatest weakness, however. Or, rather, the opposite of the emotion we feed on is our greatest weakness. I am a vampire who feeds off lust, and, therefore, the feelings of love are deadly to me." I finish, and understanding starts to dawn on the other's features. 

Carlisle sighs and rubs his temples, and Esme looks apologetically towards me, regretting snapping and making assumptions before she knew the full truth of the matter.

Janet and Edwin now both look like they swallowed something sour, and Emily holds Ross tightly with a crestfallen expression. 

Ross still looks okay with killing me, but I doubt anything would have changed that at this point. 

The biggest surprise, however, comes from Alice, who scoots up close to me again and looks at me with a very serious expression on her tear-stricken face as she asks, "How does it work?"

"What do you mean?" I cock my head to the side in confusion.

"Samuel, please explain to me how your weakness works." The pixie-like vampire asks again, firmly. 

I tilt my head back to rest it on the couch and take a deep breath. This is another subject I would really rather not discuss. 

I have long made peace with it. Because of what I am, I will never enjoy one of the greatest experiences in life. I will never fall in love and feel what it is like to be loved in return. It is not fun to talk about, but I owe this to her after all that I just put her through...Well, that and the fact that I am still alive at all. 

"Love is like poison to me," I explain, looking at her wistfully, truly sorry for having to hurt such a nice girl. "If my skin touches someone who is truly in love with another or, worse, if they are truly in love with me, then it will crack, blister, and possibly even catch on fire. If I fell in love with someone, I would have to live my life never touching that person. It is not a condition I would wish on-"

This is as far as I get before Alice grabs my right hand forcibly with her own. I flinch back at the sensation of her skin on mine, but she is far stronger than me right now, and I cannot possibly get away from her steel-like grip.

I close my eyes, waiting for the pain...but nothing happens - No pain comes. 

I crack one eye open and look down at my perfectly fine hand and then up at Alice's smiling, teary-eyed face. She lets out a huge sigh of relief, before bringing up my knuckles to her face and kissing them softly. 

"Alice..." I explain patiently with another sad smile, "It won't hurt me unless you love me." 

"I do love you, though." She answers without skipping a beat.

Huh?

Come again?

"No, I mean you have to be truly in love with me..." I say, cocking my head to the side and raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yes, I am totally in love with you. 100%. 1 million percent. You are my mate and the only one in the world for me. I have waited all my life to meet you. I loved you from the moment I first saw you. Especially after seeing the vision of us together. I love you completely and with all my being."

Excuse me? 

What the flying fuck?

Didn't we both meet a couple of hours ago?

"Alice...That's not how love works-" I say with a humorless laugh at this adorable girl trying so hard but am interrupted again by Esme.

"...It is for us." She says softly, a look of growing joy on her face. "For all of us. The second we met, we fell in love! Isn't that right?" She looks around at the others who nod without a second of hesitation, as if this was a given thing.

I blink. Several times, in fact.

How does that even work?

"...Well...Obviously not if she can hold my hand, right? I know what I am, and I know what my weakness is. Love, especially true love, would have killed me already with how long she has been holding my hand." I say with certainty.

"Unless I don't trigger your weakness for some reason!" Alice answers with a wide, blinding smile. She leans in closer to my face and asks conspiratorially, "You want to know how I know that's the case?" She lets out an infectious giggle.

Janet's eyes widen in realization. "Because...Because you saw it in your vision of the future!?!" She all but squeals.

Alice throws her head back to cackle in joy. "Yep! I saw us cuddling on my favorite porch swing out back! We were holding each other tight, hand in hand, Samuel. No gloves. Bare skin! Your weakness doesn't work on me! You can be my mate, and we can love each other!"

I am without words. Lost in the excitement in her eyes.

Could this really be? This has to be a joke, right?

A mistake. A cruel coincidence that life will quickly correct.

Nothing ever goes right in my life. 

Love? What is that? 

I am a Raith. A Demon of Lust. We are not allowed to feel love! It is our curse!

...And yet...

Is it possible?

...Considering my other choice is death...

"Alright...I...I guess I accept then." I answer breathlessly, my voice cracking and my eyes feeling itchy for some unknown reason. 

This moment would mark today as both the scariest and happiest day of my life.