Chapter 34: Conflicting Feelings
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Burnt ruins and ashes were littering the once proud capital of Norin, the sheer capacity of the damage that was caused partially hidden through the darkened night sky. And among these ruins, there was now a new kind of banner being carried and resembled throughout the streets, for now, there were almost solely Imperial soldiers patrolling and roaming through the capital. 

 

In a way, the annihilated town was quite close in resembling the destroyed capital of Almera. For the flames of revenge had served to fuel the sheer desire for retaliation, leaving nothing to be spared. 

 

Despite that, a pair of soldiers was currently headed towards the remains of the palace grounds, albeit they were quickly stopped at the entrance. 

 

"Reporting from the outskirts of town. We seek to deliver these parchments to the-" 

 

"It is currently not possible. The crown princess wishes to not be disturbed under any circumstances."

 

For a brief moment, the reporting soldier holding the stack of parchments thought about questioning this notion, especially due to the sheer importance of this particular report, but in the end, he merely bowed respectfully before he and his partner took their leave again. 

 

Unbeknownst to them, within the deepest parts of the ruined palace, Amaragi was solely occupied with something entirely else. 

 

Or rather, someone

 

An uneven, nigh ragged and tense breathing escaped Maren's lips as he lay upon a soft bed, his body feeling weak, his mind still blurry from the intense heat that he had been forced to endure. 

 

But that was not the cause of his distress. It was the careful and gentle stroking of Amaragi's fingers against his cheek, moving ever so softly along his skin. And all the while, she was sitting upon the side of his bed, smiling down on him with only the greatest care in her eyes. 

 

It was surreal… tearing him apart from within. In a world where everything had seemed to be alright, these were the happiest times of his life. No other presence was so familiar and caused so much joy to spread within his entire being when she was nearby. 

 

And now… that same presence was right here with him, caring for him just as she had always done… 

 

but it couldn't have felt any more frightening

 

Hesitantly, his eyes almost shakily shifted towards his hand down below, coming to rest upon the crimson ruby that was adorning the ring on his finger. And slowly but surely, tears threatened to escape. 

 

Suddenly, the fingers shifted away from his cheek, striving towards the corner of his vision instead to gently wipe away any of his tears. 

 

Thus, it was inevitable when his gaze instinctively met Amaragi's own. And it twisted him all the more inside when he saw the genuine concern within her eyes. 

 

"... why… do you do this…?" his voice was weak, but nevertheless, he did not fail to notice how her eyes widened ever so slightly. Albeit it was gone as quickly as it appeared. 

 

Instead, a small sigh escaped her lips. 

 

"I speak the truth when I say that all I am doing will forever be for you, Maren…" his eyes shut tight in response when she attempted to gaze at him once more. For he knew that he could not hold out if he were to return it any longer. 

 

"... all that you are… is being obsessed with me…"

 

His body almost shivered when he heard a gentle hum from her lips. 

 

"Obsessed? Perhaps… perhaps I am." hearing this, Maren's eyes involuntarily opened once more, only to witness that Amaragi's gaze had changed. 

 

"And yet I ask of you… why do you believe it to be a bad thing? Never does a moment pass anymore where I do not think about you… never does a moment pass where I could possibly imagine being separated from you… M-Maren… I love you… so tell me… is it truly so evil doing all of this for you…?"

 

His eyes widened. 

 

"... y-you… you have killed numerous people… what about them…? Were they any less valuable than me…?"

 

For a dreadful but brief moment, silence reigned in the air. 

 

"Yes… yes they were."

 

But it was cut short when a gasp escaped Maren's lips. For a brief second, Amaragi's eyes had been devoid of any and all warmth as she uttered these words. 

 

"You believe me to be obsessed? You can regard me like this if you wish… but I will never change. I love you without any bounds… I am dependent on you. Just as I wish for you to be dependent on me… do you not see? The bond that I have with you, I will never allow it to be fleeting. To simply perish under the smallest of strains… unlike many, I am willing to go beyond any borders, I am willing to overcome any and all obstacles to have you…"

 

Again, Maren's eyes were almost paralyzed as he gazed at her, never able to look away for the briefest of moments. Especially when her fingers slowly began to encompass his cheek once more, and her own eyes began to lid. 

 

"... this is meant to last forever, Maren…" 

 

"Then what about your own people… I thought you wanted to help them… to live a happy life as well…?" 

 

For the first time, Maren could suddenly see a crack in her facade. A change in her eyes, an almost inaudible gasp escaping her lips. A tremor coursing through her body. 

 

And there was uncertainty dwelling within her gaze. 

 

"I… of course I do, I never lied to you…" 

 

Her head abruptly faced the ground beneath her, and yet, her voice still remained calm and composed, albeit her expression betrayed her. Even now, as Maren saw her internal struggle, despite everything she had done… 

 

… he wanted to reach out. He still… 

 

"... you burned them to the ground, along with anything they might have held dear-" 

 

"Stop…!" 

 

His voice was silenced. The words ceased. For in the blink of an eye, Maren was frozen when Amaragi's head perked up, and her eyes had become glazed. 

 

"... of course… I did not want that…! I spent my entire life trying to help my people in any way I could, to be able to show compassion, to repair the damage my father had caused… I did everything I could, even if I always pretended to be alright… so now, now when I finally found happiness, when I first met you… the world immediately tried to force you away… so why… why…"

 

With each and every word, her voice began to tremble more and more, until, at last… 

 

"Why should I not be allowed to be happy…!?

 

… it finally broke. 

 

Unknowingly, Amaragi's hands had clenched into fists, and her breathing had turned almost erratic. Thus, just when a lone tear began to roll down her cheek, she suddenly realized her emotional outburst, abruptly allowing her hands to relax again with an ashamed glance to the ground. 

 

And in turn, Maren was left without any other words, his eyes silently fixated upon Amaragi's hidden face as it was covered by most of her crimson hair. 

 

All of a sudden, the familiarity had returned. And instead of the cold, almost calculating crown princess that had destroyed an entire kingdom in her fiery flames, there was now only a broken girl left. 

 

Just like way back then

 

But even as words continued to evade him, Maren could only watch in hesitation when Amaragi rose from the side of the bed, her tears now forced back and suppressed. And still, in the end, when she briefly looked into his eyes once more, she allowed a small but sweet smile to spread upon her lips. 

 

"I… forgive my emotions… I will not be gone for long, I promise. When next you awake, I'll be sure to brighten your morning with a warm breakfast, just as we always used to. Please wait for me, my dear…" an almost innocent but genuine edge of hope was laced in her voice, reflected and amplified only by the gleam in her eyes. 

 

Thus, as she reluctantly took her leave, Maren found himself almost wordlessly reaching out for her, catching himself in the act only after a moment of hesitation-

 

-and all of a sudden, he felt as though all of the warmth left his heart. 

 


 

AN:

Support comes in many ways
A like, a comment, a favorite
Each of them; I know how to savor it
To keep me writing for days~

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