That was how it started. Christmas with Father all over again.
I always knew he was an awful person, even then, but spending time with him like this...
I wouldn't see Mom or Kolya for a while, either. Not until into the new year. But, that's fine - I want to prepare. I've been trying to make money here and there online, so I can better support myself. I've also been manipulating Dad - he's kind of an open book now, and I was good at manipulating him even back then. I can guarantee he'll never be a problem, up until the time I decide to leave him.
Maybe you shouldn't have abandoned all responsibility toward Mom, son of a bitch~
I giggled and smiled at myself in front of the mirror as I kissed my own reflection, getting to know my naked body. I always thought I looked rather cute back then, even if maybe I'm a little young to think such things about myself...
Still! I promised to have no regrets, and so I shall! I kissed my own reflection again~
One big thing is, my mindset doesn't seem entirely like it used to be as an adult. I'm certainly not wanting to crawl back into bed, even a few days later. I definitely feel like a kid again, but only in the good ways - the best parts of a past self with all my future experiences. How cool is that?
...more to the point, thanks to puberty, my hormones have spiked.
It's not like this is the first time I noticed girls, but certainly that drive became much stronger around this age. Only, now I have the depraved knowledge of a perverse girl who withdrew into her fantasies...
Oh well. That's not the worst thing. In fact, it should come in handy!
...one more thing, though...
My emergency flip phone isn't the only phone I've got. My smartphone from twenty-one years later is still here. I can look up information on it, albeit frozen in time. It's way too convenient, but...
maybe something like 'magic' exists after all?
A few days of this wasn't too bad, either. Getting to know my cute, tiny body all over again...
Alright, I admit it, I'm a pervert. There wasn't much else for me to do in high school! Plus, when Kolya died I went through some of his stuff, and well...
Big purple jersey jacket, Japanese school uniform, costume glasses, ill-fitting lavender wig...my attempt at Kolya's favorite 'waifu', Akane Shinjo. (Who I have far too much in common with, really...)
Okay, the costume needs work. Still, it might be fun to get him flustered with the character he idolizes so much! My investment strategy and abuse of Dad's credit cards is already coming in handy~
I did get to chat with him on the phone, at least. He sounded very happy to see me, but...I didn't know how to ask about such things as 'being bullied'. He's mentioned stuff like that, but never in much detail...I think he wanted to show a brave face for me. Admirable behaviour for an older brother, a deadly mistake for a human being. I'll need to get to it when I see him in person later in January, though I have plans before then.
Anyway, like I said. I know I have a dirty mind. I think of doing things that my past self never would, and would probably make people very concerned if she did. (Though she definitely had fantasies, don't get me wrong - many I didn't realize except in hindsight, as I went through my old Deckmaster cards and got reminded of a few.) But...
honestly, I don't really care much about doing 'the right thing'. I want to be happy, and I want the people I care about to be happy too!
...even if I might have interesting definitions.
School started on January 2nd, at the Verwest Adventist Academy's middle school division. Kolya was hoping to go here too, but...ah well. I feel like I should be able to help him out nonetheless - Dad might get angry at me skipping school, but honestly, I kind of wish I were more of a 'bad girl' back then. Why not do it now?
...and speaking of people who don't want to be 'good girls', I'd snuck in, hid, and taken a look at one of my crushes in the halls nearby...
"Well, first you engage your diaphragm, then you channel your God-given rage at an unjust world, and you raise your fist to the sky, and...Ha!!!!!"
It's her! It's Vesta! She's doing the 'Good Girls ha', or whatever it was! She's so cute, and even kinda sexy, even if she dresses all modest...she's this beautiful half-Persian girl with a healthy glow, long brown pigtails and big, thick-rimmed glasses; I forgot she didn't start wearing fancy earrings until later on in the year!
Ah, but maybe I shouldn't stare? I don't want her to think I'm weird before we've technically met, you know -
"There you are!"
!
I turned around, and...oh, of course she was looking for me! Well, maybe it was selfish, but I'll be seeing so much of Mona and Rana anyway...
not that I'm not happy to see them now.
Both Mona and Rana are locals, of mixed heritage; Mona has purple hair and is more stylish, while Rana's hair is black and she dresses more comfortably. They're both a little taller than me, which for some reason I'm a bit annoyed by...even when I grew up, I was pretty short.
Mona was pretty much my best friend, in those days, after I met her a couple of years ago. More than my best friend, really. In fact, in hindsight, it's easy to know she liked me as more than a friend; back then, I had even thought I'd find a way to confess to her, but then all of that crap happened...
I already have a plan to make up for lost time.
As for Rana, though...
I wasn't mean to people, by nature. Sometimes Kolya a bit, maybe, but it was a mutual ribbing. I made mistakes, like anyone would, but I wasn't a bully.
And yet...
Despite her being my friend, I couldn't help but want to tease Rana. To torment her. To do whatever I could to see her flustered and pained faces...to have power over her.
Ah, I had thought perhaps it was that, but inside my younger self's body and mind, with her feelings coursing alongside mine, I can't deny it...
I'm a sadist.
I kissed Rana's cheek, and wrapped my arms around her, even as I kissed Mona's cheek too...and I bit Rana's cheek a little as I kept her from squirming away.
"H-hey, what's gotten into you?!" Rana said, flustered, flushed...trying to escape, but not too hard...
I want to bully her. Even as Mona joins in, without any prompting, I want to torment her. I want to see more and more of those faces...
I can see, I can feel, the way I can push her, the way I could torment her. The way I could make her mine, and the way Mona enjoys kissing her cheek like that. Maybe it's just because I think like an adult? Those kisses make her flushed, and neither of them found it strange...
I decided, right then and there.
I won't meet Vesta properly until tomorrow. Kolya, I have my own plans for. There are others I want to meet - to confess, to encourage, to fight, to ruin - but Mona and Rana were always there for me, and they will get it first.
It's only proper they be rewarded, after all.
Rana was step one.
Somehow, I knew what to do...it felt so unreal, but, maybe hindsight really is 20/20. The threads of my future with her were laid out before me for me to unravel as I saw fit, or something like that!
All we needed was a table to sit across as we played Deckmaster. Had to invite them to a cafe first over lunch hour, but it's not like the money would be a problem.
"Ah, no, not again..."
Rana would play, whenever I asked. She would lose, every time. She was hopeless at the game, even when she was using a netdeck. But she always took my advice, like making a deck full of angels so I could...
"With my Black Spirals, your Angels are all mine," I gleefully said, just as I used to...but all the more cognizant of it. After all, I knew exactly how lewd it was now, rather than simply semi-innocently choosing to aggressively pursue it as far as Rana would let me...
"But I kept playing counterspells..."
"And forgetting the timing rules," Mona points out. Honestly, I think...no, I know she was enabling me. Absolutely, 100%. Even giving Rana deliberately bad advice so she'd lose more...I don't think she realized it at the time, but I definitely do now!
But Rana keeps playing...
It's not like Kolya, though. It's not obligation. She could stop, if she truly wanted.
"It's okay," I said, happily rubbing her foot with mine. It was something we all did back then, something I didn't really think about until after it had stopped. "They're in a better place now. On my side of the battlefield, controlled by my will. They won't have to suffer, just obey the Machine Empire! And me, the Machine Kaiserin~"
"What's a Kaiserin?" Mona asked, not noticing that I was rubbing up Rana's legs with my feet now.
"It's German for 'Empress'," I explained, Rana stammering as she tried to find a way to respond. "Angels become corrupted by the glistening oil, and turn to my side. My will." Gleefully, passionately, I let off my restrictions as I weaved the threads of fate. As I saw what it was I needed to say, to make Rana stammer...
"But ..but, angels are supposed to be pure. W-why do you want them?" Rana flushed, and my feet roamed upwards, Mona oblivious from her position even as I let it happen.
"Why not?" I said, smiling so brightly. "Why can't I want them? Why can't I take them? If I'm the stronger summoner, isn't that my right~?" Further, further...
"You should be nicer, Valeriya," Rana mutters, even as my foot starts to brush against her thigh. I can see, I can feel her squirm, and I know she's enjoying it, and would want more..."T-they aren't happy..."
"Who says they aren't? Maybe they're happier than they've been in their entire life." Mona is just watching as I speak, transfixed. And I start to rub, grind between Rana's legs...
"N-nngahh..." She all but moans out, strangled in her throat as she struggles to understand. But even so, she doesn't resist, or push away. She opens her legs, even as my foot pushes onto her. Gasping for breath...
"Are you okay?" Mona asks, but even she's starting to suspect. But she can't stop either, she can't stop watching, because...
I know.
She's just like me.
She wants to see Rana make more and more of these faces...
"I...I..." Rana's not sure whether to cry out, or to swallow, or anything else, but I can feel it...I can feel the way she twitches, the way she tenses, and..."I-I, um, I need to, I need to go to the bathroom..." She grabbed her cards, including the ones under my control. "I'll um, I should, I should study."
And she got up. And ran off. Oh, this wasn't bad at all, not one bit...in fact, I expected it. I need Rana to stew in those feelings. I can practically see her nature yearning to surrender, to become like her cards. I just need time to set it up...
"What was that all about?" asked Mona, even as she watched, even as...
ah.
She's trying hard to hide it, but I can see her folding over her skirt and trying to avoid showing her bulge. Oh my. Yes, indeed, I knew she'd be awakened by this, too...
Wait patiently, Mona, Rana. I'll soon show my love to you both...~
It was the end of the school day when I made my move with Mona. I just needed to distract the nurse from his office, and then I could sneak in with her, just like I always imagined. I had this all planned out, but I never got to implement it...
well, now I can make up for lost time, right?
"So, why did you call me in here, Valeriya?" Mona asked, all wide-eyed (and still blushy from lunch). "Is it really okay to be in here...?"
"It's fine! The nurse isn't coming back, relax." I reached for Mona's hand and squeezed it. "I need you to keep this a secret from the class, okay? I actually..." I reached into my bag and got out an old Ramune bottle from my dad's collection. "wanted to play Spin the Bottle!"
Mona blinked.
Yeah, even she understood what that meant. The only way I could be more blatant is if I were holding a stick of Pocky in my lips as she came through the door. Which, must try that sometime. Maybe with Vesta?
"Uh...ehe." Mona laughed. "I think, um, don't we need more than two people for it?"
"I tried to invite Rana," I lied. "But she didn't wanna come, so it's just us~!"
"Oh, um..." Mona watched as I climbed up onto the bed, placing the bottle between my knees. She quickly followed, taking up the same position. "Ah, you should first. Since, since you invited me and all."
Mona...she never had the courage to confess. I think, on some level, she was worried I might not accept her - she had a lot of trouble before now with that, even if she firmly committed to being Mona. I would certainly have responded to her feelings if I hadn't been hit with the loss of Vesta and Kolya, because I had a feeling even back then, and I'm sure it'd be obvious enough...
But, screw that, I know now. So I'm going to respond now! I need Mona for my plans, anyway. I need someone I can awaken the sadistic urges inside. I need to open her heart...
I gleefully spun the bottle, and at this position, this close...it could only point between the two of us. There was no escaping.
Even so...
I couldn't help but blush when we kissed.
It was my first kiss...
That goes without saying, of course, but I still felt my heart flutter as I chastely touched my lips to Mona's. Ah, surely, that pink-haired girl must've been a goddess come to give me this gift! If I ever meet her again, I'll have to thank her!
I happily separated from Mona, seeing her blushing face as she took the bottle in her hand, wordlessly...
It landed on us again. Naturally.
She tried approaching this time. It was cute how nervous she was. Mona was so bold, she stood out so much, she was dazzling...I can only hope in my world, she never lost that sparkle. Perhaps it's too much to hope for such a thing, but she brightened my life for the brief time she was in it...
Her kiss was still chaste, still hesitant. As you'd expect. She didn't repeat like I did, this is surely something unimaginable to her. She couldn't have hoped I'd return her feelings, even as she longed for me so deeply.
I reached for her hand, and span the bottle.
Another kiss. Another spin.
Another kiss. Another spin.
Another kiss. Another spin.
Another kiss, another...
another kiss, as we tumbled onto the bed.
My tongue wriggled into her mouth, and I pressed my weight onto her. I didn't let it stop, keeping her within my grasp as I tasted of her. As I felt her. As I felt her feelings and passions opening to me. We abandoned the pretense of the game, and we became girls yearning for one another. We let our feelings communicate with one another, and I rubbed myself against her body, our hormones driving instincts, be they natural or artificial...
Ah, that's right, she's getting hard again~! I should probably do something with that, right? It's a cliche to do it in the nurse's office, but who doesn't want to have sex in places you shouldn't? 🖤
Without asking, I started to remove my clothes. Mona got a bit embarrassed and hid her eyes behind her hands, but I could see her looking between her fingers as she did.
"Hey...you know what happened to Rana today?" I asked, as I took her hands away.
"Yeah..." Mona sighs, staring as she couldn't avoid it. "She looked like she was feeling good. I think, I think there's a word for people like her."
"There is! It's 'masochist'. Rana is a masochist." I declared this with complete certainty and confidence, as if it were an absolute truth. "All I needed to do was grind at her with my foot, and she came."
"C-came?!" Mona shakes her head. "What do you mean...?"
Ah, I would've thought she'd have had better sex ed...well, I say that, I basically needed to ask Kolya and Vesta everything. "She had an orgasm," I said, and Mona understood - ah, she only knew clinical terms, huh? "She doesn't want to run away. She wants to be bullied, more and more...and you want to bully her, don't you?"
Mona nodded to me, unable to keep secrets. Her self was bared before me. "I...I do...I keep thinking awful things, Valeriya..."
"Lera. Call me Lera." I kissed her again, entwining the fingers of our hands briefly before pulling away so I could let her hands touch me, and I could reach under her skirt..."It's not awful if it's something she wants, you know? It's not like we've forced her into it. If we ask her, I'm sure she'd gladly become ours..."
Sometimes, I had this twinge of guilt, where I almost realized what it was I was doing...and invariably, Rana would ask to play again, even though she knew she'd lose. Invariably, she deliberately put herself in harm's way, even when she had every opportunity not to, even when we stopped.
She's a masochist. At least, she wants to be bullied by us...
"Become...ours?" Mona asks, moaning as I reach under her skirt, my hand passing over her hormone patch as I do. "Our, our what?"
"Our pet. Our servant. Our loyal little angel." I didn't hide my intentions at all. "Do you want it, Mona? Do you want her to be ours? Do you want to keep her, like I take control of her angels with my collars?"
"Yes..." she breathed, tensing as she got nervous when I touched her down there. "I, I'm sorry, it's embarrassing -"
"It's beautiful," I said. "You're beautiful. And this part of you is beautiful too - the stamen of a beautiful flower." Oddly, somehow I could see that she wasn't embarrassed or hateful toward this part of her - just embarrassed at me seeing it. "Have you masturbated before?" Mona nodded to my question, even as I started to stroke. "Do you think Rana has?"
"No...she looked, she looked so surprised, but she looked like she felt good - m-maybe she was, masturbating in the bathroom, when she left..."
I knew she was.
Vesta wouldn't necessarily do it like this, I considered...she said things like 'copulation' didn't interest her. But, somehow I imagined, she'd approve of my plans for Rana. To bind her to my will - maybe even, to take a page out of her book, literally, and enrapture her mind?
In fact...
"Wouldn't it be great if we could brainwash her?" I asked, nakedly declaring my desires. "Imagine if we really did have black rings and spirals, and drooling glistening oil..." Vesta was always reading those books by Dr. Newton, that psychological researcher who spoke nakedly of erotic hypnosis and other forms of desire...I bet she had an interest, based on how she looked when the books came up. (Or rather, I brought them up because she got embarrassed.) "I'm sure she would gladly surrender."
"Y-yes!" Mona cried out again, and I giggled, slipping back so I could kiss the tip of her stamen as I rubbed between my own legs. "Ah, L-lera! I love you!"
"I love you, Mona," I said, rubbing my cheek against her stamen, before starting to suckle on it. I wasn't really confident in my technique - obviously, since I didn't exactly have a lot of practice, despite my interest in 'stamens' and enthusiastic practice on toys - but I figured I could definitely get Mona off without much trouble. I carefully got used to it; it was small, obviously, but quite cute, smooth and delicious inside my lips. I swallowed some of the pre happily as I stroked between my legs..."If I could drool glistening oil on her, and dip her inside it..."
The world was too inconvenient for such lovely things to exist, but - here I was, twenty years prior, in the body I had back then. Maybe I should reassess what I consider 'impossible'. Not now, but soon, surely...
"W-where did you learn this?!" Mona asked. Aah, she's not totally ignorant...girls like her, though, they have perverse minds. Just like me.
"I've read a few things~!" I gleefully declared it, and licked more and more..."I want us to take Rana together, as ours." Polyamory wasn't as accepted in this time yet, but I had Vesta and Kolya to protect us - and no one needed know the truth of our relationship anyway. What I was doing wasn't what kids like us should, and yet...
I've spent twenty years in that hell. All because someone drove Kolya to death, and Vesta to exile. I'm not going to let anyone tell me I'm wrong!
"A-ah! L-Lera! I-it's!" Mona convulsed under my grasp, and I swallowed her cute little stamen to the root, gladly drinking up her little orgasm as I drilled my fingers inside myself. I was so much more sensitive like this...
I gladly drank, and swallowed, and licked my lips, making a good show of it to Mona. Making her truly see it as I showed off. A-ah, the taste is fine, too...! Have I really just been so perverse all this time?!
Maybe I have, because...
seeing that, just once, made her hard again.
Good thing the nurse wasn't coming back for a while, huh~? It's easy, to convince people, if you simply know the right things to say...
And so, I would convince Mona to follow me, wherever I wished to go. Even into heaven or hell itself.
I pounced upon her, to kiss her again, and we continued to express our love for as long as we could stand...
We said nothing, as we walked to the transit station together, so I could see Mona off.
We simply held hands, beneath a southern sun.
This is just the first day, though! I had others to meet and help...
Tonight, I had a prerogative to tease my older brother, as her younger sister who's older than him! He liked to play an RPG called Eversummer Days...I never would've thought to join him back then, especially with our father breathing down my neck, but I'm sure it'd be fun to tease him this time around!
He'll be pretty surprised, won't he? Hee hee hee...
Kolya, Vesta. I promise that, no matter what I have to do, this time around will be different. Just like it will be for Mona, and Rana.
Just like it will be, for the people I love. 🖤
Patreon
Lovely to see a trans girl not permanently lost to subspace, it's a rare and precious kind in these parts.
It's a specialty of the works of yours truly. 🖤
What is this "stamen" part of Mona? Is it the alternative for "futanari d*ck" or "clit"?
Lera is being poetic about it, since Mona seemed a bit embarrassed (worried Lera might not like it, maybe?) and she wants to reassure her. Using that word for girlcock is a bit of an in-joke with my long-time readers at this point, albeit it hasn't come up on Scribble Hub before.