So what’s a good way to start this story? Something, something climbing a mountain? But does it have to start at the mountain? Who says that it can’t start in a city, in a jungle of fantasy creatures, or maybe on an entirely new planet? 

This is fiction man. There are no rules that need to be followed except for the rules you create. My first rule is there are no rules, but in turn that means there are rules, so rule number two is that the character cannot have any powers. Then again, because of rule one, that makes rule two null and void, but because of that paradox, that means rule two is still up and going. Maybe I should just erase rule one from my brain.

It’s been around two days since my house was broken into. I called the police to survey the area, but they came up with nothing. No surveillance cameras, no chips, nothing that shows that I’m being targeted. I don’t know if I should take that as an omen to relax myself or to get even more paranoid. 

I looked everywhere in the house and checked everything that had any sort of value, but it seemed like everything was left alone. The only thing gone were the flowers which I replaced yesterday. 

I hear someone moan behind me and I turn my head. Harmony tossed around and sat up from bed, rubbing at her eyes, trying to get the tiredness out of her system. She stretched her arms out while yawning, staring up toward the ceiling as if waiting for the sunlight to break through the roof.

“Morning sleepy head. Had a nice wet dream?” I ask. 

“Yeah, it was great. The dude actually had a six-inch cock.” 

She frowned as she stared at my limp penis. I refused to put clothes on since it was early morning and I don’t have plans to leave today. When she looked at my package like that, my pride took a sudden and drastic fall and I wished that I was wearing at least underwear. 

“Hey, five inches is a normal size for men.”

“You keep telling yourself that.” Harmony laughed to herself as she got up from bed. She won this round, but she sure as hell didn’t win the war. “Want some coffee?” 

“Do we got anymore? We’ve been drinking that stuff a lot lately.”

Harmony shrugged. “Maybe. If not, then you and me are going shopping.”

I looked at her, not hiding the smile on my lips. I got the best excuse for an event such as this. She may not realize it, but her actions and choices up till this moment have led the war to tip on my side. It’s time for my counterattack!

“Don’t you have a job to be going to today?” 

Dun dun dun. The missile has been launched. The big, bombastic, dramatic music is playing in the background as a queen loses her crown to the rebellion. The missile crashes and the war has been won! This is a big win for team humanity.

“I don’t think Miranda would mind if I go shopping during a break.”

That’s right petty cubbi. You have fallen into my trap. Now, I can finally stay at home all day and ignore the missile you have fired back at me in retaliation. It’s coming toward me, but I’m sure that if I look the other way for long enough, it’ll turn out to be some weird dream.

“Can you hear me?” 

Ignore it. I can’t let it get the better of me.

“Your cock isn’t even five inches. It’s barely even half that.” 

Okay, what the fuck was that? I look at her and see a large shit-eating grin plastered on her face. I stare into the eye of the missile and close my eyes. I take a deep breath and come to terms with my own imminent demise. The missile is coming, and I can’t deny that any longer. It’s coming and there is no stopping it as it takes away the point given to humanity and places it in the hands of the cubbi.

“Fine, I’ll go shopping.” I mutter as I turn back to the computer. Now, I can only hope that there is still coffee left. Not just to wake me up in the morning, but also to keep me in for the day.

***

An hour later, I’m getting dressed as Harmony is listening to the news in the living room. A cup of coffee is sitting on my computer desk and I groan at it. Why is it that there is coffee here, but we’re missing several food items? We got no meat, no eggs, not even any of the wholly grail that is bacon. We got none of that shit, so now I’m going to need to head out, anyway. Fuck my life. 

Harmony’s shift starts soon, so we came up with a plan for the day. We’ll bring her to work, ask Miranda if Harmony can go shopping with me, and then we go shopping and back home to put the stuff away, then she heads back to work and I can stay home for the entire rest of the day. That’s the gist of what we got planned, and I’m just wanting it to be done as soon as possible. I don’t want to talk with anyone today.

Once I’m fully dressed, I walk out of the room and head toward the living room. I heard the T.V. talking about some boat and I enter to see Harmony watching the news. An aerial view of a boat sitting in a dock as people climb on board played on the T.V. and I can only wonder what’s going on. Harmony is looking at it pretty seriously too, which only spiked my curiosity further.

Harmony turned around, saw me, and stood up while turning off the T.V. The screen went black and the boat vanished with it. 

“Ready to go?” Harmony asks.

“Yeah. By the way, what was the news talking about? It looked like you were into it.”

Harmony shivered and hugged her arms. “Apparently, an entire ship came into view of a dock. They tried contacting the people on board, but there wasn’t an answer. When they climbed on board, there wasn’t anyone on it - alive, that is.” 

That sounds creepy as shit. No wonder she looks terrified. I would be too if I heard a story like that. Hell, I’m terrified because she told me the story without warning me of the contents. Now I’m gonna have a nightmare. Thank you unprepared fear and stress nerves. You are the second most hated nerves behind pain nerves. I get that I need to know when I’m injured, but why does it need to hurt so much? Weren’t there any better solutions? 

With that, we leave for the antique shop. And this time, I make sure my door is locked one hundred percent. 

***

“No, I need you right now.” 

Apparently, this isn’t the best day to ask Miranda for a shopping break because she looks like the grim reaper herself. Bags weighed down her eyes, her hair was in a mess of tangles and stranded strands, and she slumped over, looking as if she were about to pass out as soon as she blinks.

“What happened last night?” I ask. “Oh, I probably shouldn’t ask that. It’s normal for women too.”

“I wasn’t doing anything like that last night.” Miranda groaned. “Karina decided that it was a good night to party up and I had to put her asleep once it ended. What I didn’t expect was that she would keep it up till three in the morning.” 

“I feel so sorry for you.” Harmony said.

Me and Miranda lock eyes with one another. I could already tell what she was thinking and she could with me as well. Although I feel bad for Miranda, I feel much worse for someone else in particular. Harmony wouldn’t know it, but she never needs to know about such a thing. 

“Anyway, I’m gonna need you in for today. I can extend your break to half an hour for you to shop then, but I expect you here as soon as it ends.”

“Alright.” Harmony said.

So in the end we came up with a compromise. She can leave during her break, so that makes everything fine and dandy, right? Except there’s still one thing that’s left up in the air.

“What am I supposed to do?” I ask.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were here.” Miranda said. “Well, I could use extra help. With you here I can catch up on some missed out sleep.”

Suddenly, the shop door opened up behind me and I turned to see who came in. What do you know, it’s also somebody that I know cause apparently people that aren’t in my life don’t exist. Jessica strolls in and looks around the place, then walks over to us. I could already tell who she was here for just from where her eyes looked.

“Actually, can I borrow him for a second? It won’t take long.” 

Miranda shrugged. “Sure, go ahead. Kill me, why dontcha?” 

Jessica grabs me by the wrist and begins dragging me outside. I extend my hand out to Harmony, begging her to take me away from this woman. I can already see it in her eyes. She’s planning on doing things with me that I know I won’t like. Sadly, Harmony waves me off with a smile and thumbs up. 

Jessica drags me to the parking lot, away from the windows of the store so Harmony and Miranda can’t see what’s happening. Jessica looks around and when she sees no one else is nearby, she turns to me with a serious look on her face.

“I have some questions.” 

God dammit, she is doing the thing that I don’t like. She’s trying to access me for information that I don’t want to share, for if found out, it may show a hidden part of myself that I don’t want anyone seeing. Think of the children, for christ’s sake.

“What are your questions so we can get this done and over with? You already know a lot about me, so there shouldn’t be much you need to ask.”

“Slow down. This isn’t really about you. It’s about your roommate.”

Wait, she wants to know about Harmony? Why would she want to know about someone she just met? She only saw her win an arm wrestling match against guys that looked twice her size - oh. I think I may know what she’s going to be asking now?

“Do you know where Harmony goes most of the time?”

I can’t say anything about the murders going on. I know that’s why she’s asking this, but if I just come out and say that she’s innocent of those things, then it’ll make it seem like I’m covering for her. To Jessica, she hadn’t said anything about the murders yet, so how would I know that she’s asking me about them? I just gotta answer the questions honestly.

“Most of the time, she’s either at home or work.”

“What about during her breaks?”

“I wouldn’t know that. You’d have to ask Miranda.” 

“How does she behave when you see her? Give as descriptive of an answer as you can.”

“Well, she’s nice most of the time. We exchange jokes and quips back and forth like it’s normal for us and she doesn’t get upset either.”

Jessica closes her eyes while thinking to herself about something. If only I could reach into her mind and see what it is, I can try to change her thoughts around and let her come to an agreement with me. But I can’t, so I’m going to have to change her mind in the only way I know how.

“You look way too serious. Why don’t you and I go chill somewhere?”

She looked up at me with the most deadpan expression that could ever be created. I was immediately taken aback by it and the words froze in my throat. 

“There’s been a pattern of these murders. Every three days, a new one occurs. That means that today, there’s going to be a new body.”

“And you think Harmony’s the culprit?” 

Jessica shook her head. “Whether I think she’s guilty or not doesn’t matter. A detective cannot show their bias in a case, otherwise it may affect their judgment on what certain evidence means and how hard they search for the truth.

“If you would like to know, I don’t think she’s guilty, but it would shame me as a detective to not check up on every possibility presented to me. If it makes you feel any better, I’m asking these questions to see if I should rule her out of the suspects. But if I find a shred of evidence against her, I have to pursue it further. Several people have already died, and if it turns out it is her and I refused to take action because of my bias, not only will I lose my job, but all those extra deaths that could have been stopped will fall into my hands.

“So I’m just going to ask you to keep an eye out. Especially on her.”

After giving out the final piece of ominous advice, Jessica left me standing there slack jawed and sweating. I turned and saw her enter a gray car and leave. I don’t know what else to do except enter the store, only this time I have a fly buzzing right next to my ear.