The male guidance councilor explained it.
Apparently girls going topless is fine. Guys? Not so much. Yes, walking around in swim trunks is fine, but wearing just underwear is not. It's that old artistic maxim: If the model is completely naked, it is art. If she is wearing so much as an ankle bracelet, it is porn.
Also, apparently, guys rolling up their sleeves is very sexy. Like, insane levels of sexy. Male strippers will often go on stage with long sleeves just to roll up his sleeves. Short sleeves aren't a problem, but roll up your long sleeves, if you want to drive a girl crazy. Well, not ALL girls. Here in this world, it isn't 'Tits and Ass', but 'Arms and Ass'. Girls usually fall into one of those two camps. There was a long argument with the councilor about all the girls were down to their bras, but he just didn't understand what the problem was. They're just breasts. Nobody gets turned on by breasts.
The councilor took off his glasses and cleaned them, "Well, mostly. There are things called fetishes where people get a fixation on odd body parts. Feet, armpits, that sort of thing, but mostly women are the ones with fetishes. I suppose it's possible to have a fetish for nipples. I can't imagine how anyone would get that way. That would be really strange." Toshi leveled a flat glare at the councilor through narrow eyes.
The councilor looked back, puzzled, then blinked as he managed to read the room, "Wait a min-" Toshi just stood up and turned to walk out. The councilor started to stand up, but Toshi was having nothing from him after that last comment, "Thank you for informing me what is socially acceptable. I will make an effort to internalize your data points post-haste." He was so angry he reflexively fell back into corporate buzzword speak. His phrasing so boggled the councilor, he didn't have a response. Toshi simply stepped out and slammed the door behind him. Ruri was waiting there along with Toshi's sister.
Toshi closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into them, "Tell me you were sent here for an unrelated reason."
Hinako stood up and walked over to Toshi, "You did nothing wrong." Toshi dropped his hand to glare at her, "Damn straight I didn't!" Ruri stood up much slower, "Toshi, Yes you did." Both of them looked at Ruri. She looked back, "We can't lie to him! That was bad! Holy crap if anyone took a video of that and put it on FaceTube or YouBook that would have hounded you forever!" Hinako looked from one to the other and sighed, "She's right. Keanu Christ, Toshi, I know you didn't know any better and you just wanted to cool off but... what the hell?" She looked at Ruri, "By the way, thanks for stepping up. I can see you're a good friend." She lightly punched Ruri in the shoulder. Ruri looked mildly out of sorts, like being respected was not something she was used to. She still gave Hinako a short nod in return, "You're welcome." Hinako nodded back, "Please keep an eye on him and-" She stabbed a finger at Toshi, "DON'T. DO. THAT. AGAIN."
Toshi looked like he was going to argue, but saw Ruri standing behind Hinako, her little hands folded up as she looked like she was begging. She mouthed the word, 'please'. Toshi stared at her for several seconds before he rolled his eyes, "FINE! Fine! Fine." He sighed, "Sorry. I don't get the big deal, but... OKAY! I won't embarrass you again." Hinako sighed, "Oh, I'm sure you WILL embarrass me again, but I have no idea HOW. I mean, I'd love to just explain everything to you, but I don't even know where to start. Just... try and read the room better! Okay?"
Ruri nodded, "You almost killed the teacher."
Hinako looked at Ruri, "What?" Ruri hooked a thumb over her shoulder, "She wasn't paying attention so when she turned around he was already misting himself down and rubbing water all over. She tripped over her own feet and nearly cracked her head open on the corner of her desk." Hinako looked disturbed in about a dozen different ways after hearing that particular bit of news, "She ogled my brother?" Ruri shook her head energetically, "No no no! It just completely took her off guard! Like, her brain couldn't accept what she was seeing. She was, you know, totally shocked!" Hinako nodded, "Ah. Okay then." She thought for a few moments, "Look. Bite the bullet. Get back to class you two but..." She looked at Ruri, "PLEASE. Keep an eye on him and-" She pointed at Toshi, "Check with her first before you do something stupid."
Toshi sighed, "Fine. Before I do anything stupid, I'll check to see if it's stupid."
Hinako humphed. Ruri smiled reassuringly, "I'll keep an eye on him. Nothing really bad happened." Hinako looked back at Ruri, "Thanks." Toshi was annoyed, ~Oh what the hell. Let's fuck with my sister.~ He cleared his throat, "Yeah. And hey, it was good timing too. A whole bunch of girls had to rush off to the bathroom as soon as I left. I guess they had been drinking WAY too much water." He smiled in as clueless a fashion as he could muster. Hinako's eyes went wide as she slowly turned to look at him. He looked back with big innocent eyes. Ruri's face turned several shades of red as she started coughing.
Hinako just nodded once, "Yes. I suppose it was... good timing."
"Hey, Toshi! Guess what RTS got released today?"
Toshi was sitting at his desk as usual right before class started for the day. He looked up, very interested, "Ooo! We got a new release? What is it?" Kenko held out his smart phone for Toshi to see, "Twice The Prince... Part... FOUR!" He pointed at the phone, "I pre-ordered and the next installment comes out tonight at midnight!" Toshi stared at the phone, then touched it with a flick of his finger to scroll down. As it rolled up he saw what appeared to be an every day ordinary Otome game, except that it was clearly geared towards men. Well, men from this reality, at any rate. He glanced at the tags for the article. One stood out at him.
'Reverse Harem'
"Uhhhh... Kenko?" Toshi looked up at his friend, "How is this RTS?" Kenko looked puzzled for a second, then closed his eyes with a sigh, "Ah." Toshi frowned slightly, "What?" Kenko took his phone back, "I'm just getting better at picking up when your scrambled brain is getting something confused." He settled into his seat behind Toshi, "So. Explain what you think RTS is." Toshi looked a little annoyed as he sighed, "Real time strategy" Kenko blinked, "Wait... you said you liked RTS. Like... when you introduced yourself." Toshi nodded, "Yeah. I do." He narrowed his eyes, "Hold on. What does everyone else think RTS stands for?"
Kenko blinked harder and spoke slowly, "Romance. Time. Stories." The guy sitting to Toshi's left looked over at Kenko, catching his slow deliberate tone, "RTS? I love their games! Something up?" Toshi tried to remember the kid's name, ~Miyazaki ... Tah... tey... Kaw... no. Kazuo. That was it.~ Kenko nodded, "They just came out with part four of TTP." Kazuo clapped his hands, "Omigaud Omiguad Omigaud! I absolutely LOVE TTP! I've been on pins and needles ever since part three where they left off when Princess Pricilla Purehart of Lyonesse had taken the poisoned arrow for you!"
Kenko grinned and nodded enthusiastically, "-and the poison inhibits the use of magic so the more magic you have the faster you die-" Kazuo let out a sigh, "And then the dark sorceress Lilith of the Fire tower shows up and says she can save Pricilla but you have to marry her!" Kenko frowed, "Lilith is a bitch. I can't believe she'd do that just to get in bed with you." Kazuo let out a wistful sigh, "Oh tell me she isn't hot. I dare you." He glanced at Toshi, "I go for that dark brooding type that wants you so bad they'll do anything to have you. I mean-" He bit his lower lip, "C'mon. Who doesn't like a bad girl?"
Kenko waggled his head side to side, "Ehh... I can see that. For a hot minute. But she's going to be annoying in the long term. She wants to marry you so she can be the next queen. Don't tell me she actually loves you." Kazuo started talking on and on about how he was sure she would change once she got to experience true love and was going on about how her tragic backstory indicates something, but then Kenko cut him off saying he didn't want spoilers and also she killed off your best friend how can you forgive-
And on and on and on.
Toshi was absolutely befuddled as the conversation veered off into absolute convoluted nonsense. The teacher walked in and cleared his throat. The conversation stopped as everyone settled down for class. Toshi had his mind on other things, however, ~So... if that's what RTS stands for here... then that might explain why I couldn't find any gaming clubs. I was looking it up under the wrong abbreviations.~ He stared out the window as he contemplated.
~What do they call a real time strategy game here, I wonder?~
Gosh, cannot say I am enjoying this Author-Sama.
The dialogue between character is confusingly paced. I can't tell who is talking, and everything moves at a pace so uncoordinated feeling, that my brain cannot comprehend what is going on.
Everything I loved about the other novel you are writing, (Deep characters, character growth / change, interesting world building, etc) All of it feels missing or worst in quality here.
Also Ryan's growth and change and his unwillingness to be pushed around by the nobles pretentious bullsh*t is what made me initially fall in love with him as a character but more so as a person, not too mention how everyone else is flawed and has their own issues and things to work through that isn't just salad dressing or fluff, but that helps them make decisions and dictates the way they react as well as what they take away from certain encounters.
Here it just feels like someone made men weak cowards and women brutes.
Society is formed by laws, traditions, as well as "unwritten" rules that form due to men and women's bodies being different and more
Maybe I don't look at our societal norms close enough or maybe it doesn't register in my brain right, but Toshi is someone who grew up in OUR Earth where men are told to be emotionless, cold, and what not.
What that should mean is that even if he has some behaviors left from the original Toshi, he is his own goddamn person. He shouldn't be trying to shove himself into the role of someone else that isn't him.
It is also clear that he doesn't like the behavior of his sister and how she is overbearing to an almost unhealthy degree (may be real people are like that, in which I still think that is a bad attitude to have towards anyone), and yet he just shrugs it off, leaving this behavior to continue or grow worst.
The concerningly and borderline sheer disregard for Toshi's own feelings on these matters when his sister just immediately starts getting angry at the other women's reactions towards Toshi is irritating and grating when we don't understand why she does something.
What makes it worst is that it is like being stuck in a box in a dark vacuum. We can't tell her posture, tone, intentions, etc. We can only know what you give us. And mix that with know chapters of his new family and their dynamics with each other combines to give a constant awful impression of the sister.
It feels something like a trope or maybe an embodiment of a certain type of person, rather then a person with certain behaviors or patterns.
I hope this story will match the level of depth and nuance your other story held at somepoint as I read on.
Once again, IT IS A CRIME THAT (From what I see), This novel has more views and stuff like that then the other one.
I feel so sad that you put the other on hiatus. I wouldn't have even found that gem of a novel if it weren't being updated in recent times.
This went way off topic and all over the place.
Yeah, Originally my writing style was based on my clients needs which was Ghost writing. It was better to group paragraphs by plot point, not by traditional paragraphs because they would chop the story up by plot point and arc and it was easier for them to mix and match in such a manner.
Over time, I eventually got out of the habit and moved to a more traditional paragraph where it is broken down by the person speaking. I do need to find time to go back and rewrite the older work.
As for the plot cohesion for FTS. It started off as a one off joke. It developed into something better, and if you are at chapter 26, you are just now reaching the point where I have to back petal to retroactively fix a bunch of stuff. I actually go into more in depth about it in the afterword at the end of book one. If you want to skip ahead and just read that part, a bunch of mistakes in the early part of the book make more sense with that in context.
And finally, HKN isn't in hiatus anymore.
HKN is... Niche. If you like the niche I made it for, it is excellent. If you aren't a big fan of the niche, then it sucks. The Niche? Well, the MC starts off getting beaten down into a hole, when he was already in a hole. Like, from chapter 1 to 19, life relentlessly shits on him. Ch 20 is the turning point. Even then, life is not fair to him. And BOY, when we get past Book1, OOF. Have I got some plans for kicking him in the nuts.
However, I also believe that a hero shines best when he crawls out of a hole. Take the original Die Hard. Holy. Crap. Does John suffer. He is up against some brutal men. At one point, He has to run barefoot over broken glass. He wins in the end, but honestly? I would have given up after that.
But you know what? In the end, when he finally wins, you just go, 'YES! DIE YOU SONOFAbit*h DIE!' As that cop shoots the blond guy to save John's life. I love that sort of story, but to get that sort of story, you have to relentlessly kick the MC in the teeth.
Not a very popular type of story.
I can see why it has a lot of views to start, but very quickly drops off. I'm also seeing that maybe my stance on Prequels has a flaw. I think this might have done better as a prequel, but I also HATE prequels. If the story has room for a prequel, then START AT THE PREQUEL. That's my position. However, Maybe If I sold the main story, then came back and wrote this, people would have enjoyed this more.
My hope is, in the end, when I get to about book 16 of the whole saga, then people will want to come back and read HKN to get to know Ryan better. Right now, think of this as the rough draft. I'll be working on the 5 main character's origin stories and hopefully have about 3 books each. Then, we'll have them all come home to the original world and start the Dark Earth Saga.
Yeah. I have to write 15 books for the set up. I'm crazy, but I've been 'working' on this for decades. I just decided it was finally time to actually write it out.
So please keep commenting. I don't see them as complaints and more as suggestions on what to focus on when I finally get everything done and have time to go back and maybe hire an actual editor to 'clean up' these rough drafts.
@TheEldritchGod
Man when I first saw the Synopsis of HKN which was something along the lines of, "hmm, why do people transmigrate. How does it work. Why does it work.. I MADE A SYSTEM FOR DIS STIFF", I instantly was like... hmmmm.... FUG YEAH!
I mean I thought of that too. I was always like, how does this work and stuff. I would love to do a book with as much heart as yours, but sadly I am a lazy doo doo head. Maybe in the future, who knows.
Anyways, I do agree with the prequel thing. You make a prequel into a prequel because it is setting a piece of media before a specific timeframe, event, or just before a a different piece of media which is typically taking place after the prequel.
Typically it is used to inform us of what happened before the original work it is a prequel of.
A perfect example is literally the Star Wars Prequels.
They showed us the Journey of Anakin Skywalker and the eventual fall of said Man, which immediately led to the rise of Darth Vader. Who is the immediate bad guy throughout most of, if not all of, the Original Trilogy.
This story beat is mirrored by the corruption and manipulation of the Republic, the eventual downfall of it, and the eventual rise of the Empire which led to the forming of the Rebels and or trilogy. These are the two organizations that we see in the Original Trilogy.
Lastly, it is also mirrored by the blind arrogance of the Jedi and the conceit they showed towards their greatest enemy, The Sith, the shock at Darth Maul's appearance, the unease of the return of the Sith and its meaning as a whole, the red herring that was Count Dooku, The subtle manipulation of Palpatine, the Start of the CloneWars, the continual unease of the greater galaxy, and the eventual downfall of the Jedi due to being unable to understand or help Anakin, making him feel alienated, leading to him feeling that only Palpatine understood him. Which led to the first point.
The whole idea of the prequels(from what I can see) is a origin story of Darth Vader, The Fall of the Jedi, The fall of the Republic, and the Rise of the Empire.
The one problem with writing things like a prequel, is... well it's a prequel. It isn't meant technically be its own story at all. But rather, something to fill in the readers, viewers, watchers, etc, on what occured before a certain point.
I have no idea what your plans are for the future, however, (And I know that sincerity is hard to pick up over text) I really love what your doin with HKN.
"We will be watching your career with great interest".
I also have to say that I am putting FTS on the back burner of my reading list, cause the start is still just incredibly disorienting. I do hope that when you have the time a feel able too, that you do redo the beginning bits to better pace it out.
Keep it up, and know that someone cares!
Das MEEEE!