Mieko had not felt this at peace before in her lifetime.

 

 

 

She felt like she was floating in pink fluffy clouds. It was a nice feeling. She would describe it as a baby duck with really big eyes, all covered in downy fuzz. Combine that duck with a sincere expression of unconditional acceptance, chocolate covered strawberries, and a post-turkey coma as you lie in a gravity lounger in the warm autumn sun by a tranquil mountain lake.

 

"You awake?"

Mieko yawned.

"Feeling better?"

Mieko nodded and stretched her arms over her head.

"Would you mind untying me?"

 

Mieko's eyes flared open. She snapped her head sideways to look at Toshi lying next to her. He still had his shirt ripped open and the under shirt cut down the middle. She couldn't help but notice they were both lying on her bed. She sat up bolt straight in bed and looked herself over. She was naked with scratches all over her limbs as if she had some sort allergic reaction and tried to take her own skin off.

 

Toshi cleared his throat, "Because it's been about two hours and I can't feel my hands at all."

 

Mieko looked at Toshi and turned white. Sweat started to form on her forehead. She moved her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Toshi nodded slowly, "Don't freak out on me." He rolled towards her slightly to show off his arms lashed together with a lamp's power cord, "A little help here?"

 

Mieko nodded and mechanically untied his arms. He pulled them out from behind his back with a groan and started to rapidly shake his hands that had a rather ominous blue-ash tinge to them. She abruptly noticed her nudity again, and promptly grabbed her bed sheet to pull it over her lower half. Toshi eyed her at this odd gesture, then remembered, ~A girl going topless is no big deal. Right.~

 

Mieko sat there as she tried to collect her thoughts then stood up holding the sheet around her waist, "I'll call the police." Toshi stopped shaking his hands, "WHAT!?!" She looked at him with a rather emotionless expression, "I have done something truly-" Toshi reached over and lightly smacked her in the face.

 

Mieko blinked at his hand resting on her cheek. Toshi winced, "Sorry. I still can't control my hands very well." He tried to direct her to sit back down to the bed with hands that lacked all motor control, "Sit. Please?" Mieko sat down, looking like she was completely disconnected from reality. Toshi shook his hands again, flailing them about. He stopped to eye her, then offered both to Mieko, "Could you rub them? The sensation is coming back and it's hurts like hell."

 

Mieko, grateful for something to do, grabbed his hands and started kneading them, focusing on her hands to the exclusion of all else. The silence dragged on as Toshi felt a million iron slivers being driven into his hands, thus knowing that the blood was flowing back into them. Toshi bit his lip and winced for several minutes. As time dragged on, he worked out a line of logic in his head to try and minimize the fallout of this debacle. 

 

"If you want to turn me into the cops, I totally understand. I deserve it."

Mieko froze and looked up at Toshi, "WHAT?"

 

Toshi nodded slowly, "I sexually assaulted you, after all." She shook her head, "No no no! What happened was-" Toshi cut her off, "You went into the bathroom, took some medication that had an unusual side effect and you completely lost your mind, yes?"

 

Mieko's jaw hung open as all she could do was nod. Toshi continued, "You stumbled out, attacked me because in your mind I owed you sex, but you came to your senses and backed off. I, worried you were going to have a heart attack, did... something that at the time was the only thing I could think of to calm you down." He paused, "And you were incapable of giving consent at the time."

 

Mieko slowly closed her mouth. Her eyes darted from side to side while she tried to work out this particular chain of logic, "Hold it..." She shook her head, "One, of course I would give consent. I mean-" Toshi cut her off with a snort, "Oh? So if I was drugged out of my mind and you quote KNEW I wanted sex unquote, that would be consent, eh?" Mieko looked disgusted, "No! Of course... This- Wait." She started to run her fingers through her hair, "You couldn't have... it isn't possible. Men can't-" Toshi practically growled, "The next words out of your mouth had better not be, 'Men cannot rape women' or any other such nonsense."

 

Mieko's lips scrunched together as she shut up. She turned to look anywhere but at him.

 

Toshi nodded with contemptuous satisfaction, "I thought so." He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands, "I'm so sorry! This is all my fault." Mieko felt like her brain was inverting at the sheer insanity of what she just heard. She sputtered at first, then eventually found her mental footing, "N-n-no! This is all my fault! I did this! If you are going to blame anyone, it's me!" Toshi rolled his head to the side to look at Mieko, "Remember when we were in the mall? When I talked to your sister?" Mieko looked puzzled, but nodded all the same. Toshi put his face back in his hands, "I told your sister don't be upset if I steal you away."

 

Mieko squinted with one eye, "Uhhh... so?"

 

Toshi sat up with a deep breath drawn through his nose before he continued, "You told me that you are the low girl on the totem pole. You have to be in this place because of it. What happens if you leave? Does this house remain empty?" Mieko curled her upper lip slightly, then scratched the side of her head, "I... guess someone new would be sent here."

 

Toshi nodded, "And so, everyone else has a vested interest in keeping you down. If you remain on the bottom, none of the others have to worry about the humiliation."  He lifted his head to look at the ceiling, "What's that old saying, 'I don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than you'?" He hit himself in the forehead with his fist, "Why did I have to shoot my mouth off?" He kept hitting himself in the head, "Why am I such an idiot? THIS is what I get for letting my guard down! I try to have fun on a date and this is just the-"

 

Mieko waved her hands in Toshi's face, "Whoa whoa WHOA! Hold it!" She took a deep breath and raised a single finger, "You think after what you said to her, my sister drove home to... poison me?" Toshi shook his head, "Not at all." He rolled his hand in the air, "I think your sister called someone who was here already, and they came up with this half assed plan to ruin your date. I think that's why it was so over the top. They screwed up the dosage or something."

 

Mieko shook her head, "No! My sisters would..." She paused, her voice trailing off as uncomfortable thoughts invaded her mind. Toshi quirked an eyebrow, "Go on. You were about to say, 'My sisters would never do that.' I believe." Mieko squinted at Toshi as she tried to collect her thoughts, ~Well, the alternative was my mother gave me the wrong medication. So either mom made a mistake, which is impossible because she never makes mistakes, she gave me the wrong medication on purpose, or...~

 

She licked her lips briefly, "If... Well... I guess that is... possible." She looked up, "But If they did this, they would have done it before I left this morning." She nodded once with confidence, "So it wouldn't be your fault." Toshi looked glum, "You'd be surprised. I know it sounds paranoid, but you have NO IDEA how crazy my life is and what insanity I have to deal with."

 

Mieko rubbed her nose and tried to circle around to the start of this conversation, "I wouldn't call the police to turn you in. I don't think you'll get in trouble with the police at all. I was going to do it because of what I..." She scratched her head in thought. Toshi glanced sideways at her, "That's what they want you to do. You can't let them win." Mieko's expression was torn between worry and despair, "Toshi, What... what I did..."

 

Toshi finished the sentence, "You did while under the effects of whatever poison they slipped in your medication." She thought about it for a while then nodded, "Yes. And... you aren't to blame either." Toshi snorted, "Really? Because I made a choice, you didn't." He picked at his ripped shirt, "I'm... sorry. I-" He squeezed his eyes shut, "I want to say I did it because I didn't think of a better choice, but the truth is..." He took a deep breath, "I've had plenty of time lying here next to you to think about this and I think I just wanted to do it." He clicked his tongue as he looked up, "I hate to admit it, but if my arms hadn't been tied behind my back, I would have done a hell of a lot more."

 

"Come again?"

 

Toshi quirked an eyebrow, "I didn't get to even cum once, actually." He smirked at his little joke, which went completely over Mieko's head. Toshi sat there as the awkward silence dragged on, then cleared his throat, "Look, if I didn't have the absolute worse case of blue balls right now, and hands that feel like they are on fire..." He let his words trail off ,then turned away "By the way, I happen to have a breast fetish. Would you mind covering yourself a bit more? It's really distracting."

 

Mieko looked down, then pulled the bed sheet up, "Sorry..." She shook her head, "Hold it, why would you want to-" Toshi cut her off with a bark of laughter, "Seriously?" He shook his head dismissively, "I get it. Guys aren't supposed to be horny. Well, news flash, we like sex too."

 

Mieko went quiet as she processed this, then seemed to come to a resolve, "We can't. I promised your sister. I-" She slapped her hand over her mouth, "Oh god. Your sister!" Toshi looked at her with confusion that turned to horror, "Oh fuck no! You cannot tell her! I think she might actually kill you!" She cringed, "You know I'm terrible at lying!" Toshi covered his eyes, "Fuck... Wait." He raised a finger, "You don't need to lie."

 

Mieko blinked furiously, "What?" Toshi rolled his hand in the air, "What happened was, I insisted on seeing your home.... true. We got to talking... true. We got a little physical and I kissed you for a bit... true." He paused then added under his breath, "With a little tongue." Then cleared his throat, "And we realized how awkward the situation was so we stopped... Also true."

 

Mieko's jaw dropped open, "Toshi! That little tongue went-" She suddenly blushed and couldn't look him in the eye. Toshi made a dismissive hand gesture, "Bah. You don't have to tell her WHERE I kissed you, right?" He snapped his fingers, "And you can even say, my dick never left my pants! True as well!"

 

Mieko looked at Toshi, "I-" She looked back at the floor, "Okay. Look. Before we say anything else... thank you." She looked back up at him, "I honestly felt like I was going to die there. I mean it, my heart felt like it was going to explode and I had no idea what I was doing. I'm sorry." Toshi nodded, "Not your fault, but apology accepted if it makes you feel better." He paused before asking, "I gotta know..." Toshi intended to ask her how she felt, but a different sentence came out of his mouth.

 

"Did you enjoy it?"

 

Mieko answered without hesitation, "Oh my god yes it was absolutely amazing!" She abruptly covered mouth and looked away. Toshi had a moment of internalized shock as he tried to deal with the fact such words left his lips, "Glad I have your seal of approval." He babbled without really thinking. Mieko bit her lower lip, "Toshi... why are you so blasé about all this?" Toshi squinted, "Huh?"

 

Mieko rubbed her temple, "Look. Any other guy on the planet goes through what you went through, and they'd be curled up in the corner, crying their eyes out and... if there was any justice, I'd be in handcuffs by now." She dropped her hand into her lap, "I get the whole memory loss thing, but this..." She gestured to herself then at Toshi, "Right now, nothing makes sense. I don't know what I should do. I don't know what the right answer is. I always had rules to follow, now everything is murky and yet you sit there, obviously trying to figure out some way to help me. I can't figure you out. So please tell me how you are holding it together right now, because I need all the help I can get right now."

 

"You wouldn't believe me."

 

Mieko let out a nervous chuckle that sounded like someone whose sanity was fraying at the edges, "No. No, I rather think I would. I'd accept anything at this point." Toshi just shook his head. Mieko clutched the bed sheet tightly in a fist she held over her heart. She started at him. Her expression spoke of a soul adrift on a stormy sea with no land in sight. Toshi tried not to look, but couldn't help it. His eyes locked with hers and he found it impossible to look away. Softly she begged, "I am so screwed up inside right now. Right now I am angry and scared and never felt better and I'm no good at dealing with feelings, yet all I got right now is FEELINGS." She closed her eyes, "Please? Tell me how you are calm right now."

 

Toshi wasn't sure why he answered her. He intended to try and change the subject, offer her some comfort, or perhaps even lie. The answer he gave wasn't the real reason either. What he said was the truth, but it wasn't the answer to her question. Not really, when you think about it, but he understood how she felt and felt a great deal of sympathy. He knew what it was like to feel like your entire world was turned upside down due to no fault of your own.

 

He'd later tell himself he answered her more because he wanted someone to confess to. Maybe he thought that she was the only person who might believe him, given the situation. At the very least, he knew he could trust her to keep quiet if he asked, so she was certainly the safe choice for baring his soul. Whatever the reason, the words bubbled up to hang in the air between them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"When I died, I met God."