"Why the Hell is he ignoring me?"
Naora had spent most of Sunday trying to get ahold of Toshi, but for some reason he didn't seem to be getting her messages. But then Monday began and it became obvious he was ignoring her. Something had happened on their date, that much was obvious. Meiko went from this quiet mouse of a girl, who admittedly could kick ass when she wanted, but she was always defensive. She never started anything. She was the very definition of passive.
Then Meiko strolls into the school like she owns the place.
No. Not like she owns the place. Like she owns TOSHI. That T-shirt she was wearing. It looked like the sort of thing you could buy from a photo booth or at a souvenir shop. Everyone was talking about how Madoka and Toshi was a thing, but it was obvious from talking to Toshi that he didn't care. But this? This wasn't just an act by someone who was desperate for attention. This wasn't what someone who was a coward did. She wore it with confidence and carried it with a cocky swagger.
The part that boggled her the most was that from her spies, it seemed like Hinako wasn't on board with this. On one hand, it was nice to see that there were cracks forming in Hinako's little gang, but on the other hand, it twisted her stomach that Meiko was so blatantly laying a claim on Toshi. Unfortunately, Naora didn't have much time to do much investigation before class started. So she focused on trying to get a hold of Toshi.
And kept trying.
Naora was angry with him. She knew that the two of them weren't officially a couple, but he was hers. She knew all this mess was because Naora couldn't commit and wouldn't take the next step, but it didn't change the fact that she felt a certain amount of possessiveness. The more she thought about being ignored, the more she thought about the plan that she and Midori had concocted. It was slimy and underhanded, but frankly, she felt justified. Sometimes you just have to take what you want. Life ain't fair and you have to make your own justice.
Although, she'd settle on Toshi just returning her texts.
Her phone was working. She could text other people. Home room was over and she was into her first class of the day, when she started thinking about having someone else text him and see if he was just ignoring her, when suddenly her phone started vibrating, and KEPT vibrating. When she opened it up, there was a wall of text as it seemed like every message from the past twenty four hours suddenly came through at once. The most disturbing part was the last ten minutes seemed to be just Toshi typing 'PLEASE' repeatedly.
She scrolled up to read the words immediately proceeding that word and her heart leapt into her throat. She glanced up and realized that her class wouldn't be over in another twenty five minutes, and there was no way she was going to wait. She raised her hand and waved it around until the older gentleman who was her math teacher teacher finally looked over.
"Yes?" He asked in that slow and monotone fashion he had that was perfect for putting students to sleep.
"I gotta take a crap." Naora said in a sarcastic tone that never failed to get all the girls in her class to snicker. She could be quite funny when she wanted to be, but not she was trying to have a plausible excuse for why she was going to vanish for a while. The teacher looked annoyed and just gestured to the door, "Take the hall pass with you."
Kagi was sitting next to Naora and looked puzzled. Naora gave a quick hand gesture to indicate she should stay put. Three extended fingers indicated it wasn't a major issue at the moment, but might get worse later. Naora walked towards the exit backwards for three steps so the teacher couldn't see her mouth the word 'Rooftop' before She turned away from Kagi and headed out.
Naora took the steps two at a time, sprinting up the stairs. It was a big roof, but she knew exactly where he'd be. She had enough presence of mind not to slam the door behind her, but she still rushed over to that spot that they both met up here, so many months ago. There he was, slumped down next to the same air conditioner she had told him about his sister and what really happened between their two families.
She realized that she never said she was sorry for what she had told him.
What she had said to him was cold, and cruel. She had said it specifically to hurt him and for no other reason. This was the first time since then she had been up here and the pain was still fresh. She made a note to herself to apologies to him later. He was sitting there, knees up to his chin, head down, tapping away on his cell phone. He didn't even seem to notice that she was there. She stood there for a few moments, panting heavily, wondering what was going on. Something was seriously off here, "Hey." She called out.
He looked up with puffy, red eyes.
In ll the time she'd been with Toshi, this was the first time she'd ever seen him cry. There were a couple of times she tried to tease him into crying. One time he accidentally caught his hand in a door and all he did was wave his hand around and curse. Most boys had learned at quite an early age to weaponize tears. Toshi never did. He occasionally would pretend to be sad, but almost always he'd grin a second later after using puppy dog eyes. It was a joke. He not only never cried, he seemed to actively loath crying, or weakness of any kind, for that matter. He was willing to forgive it in others, but not in himself. Most men found weak women to be disgusting, but not Toshi. He enjoyed being the strong one in the relationship. He wanted to be the one who supported, who you could depend on.
She would have been less shocked if lead turned into gold before he very eyes.
"Who did this to you?" Naora's fists started to tighten. Who ever did this was DEAD.
Toshi shook his head and dropped his phone. He was unable to hold onto it anymore his hands were trembling so much. Naora knelt down next to him, "It was Meiko, wasn't it? I'll Kill her. I swear I-"
Toshi's hand reached out to cover her mouth. She froze. He shook his head and seemed to be unable to speak. It took him several attempts before he finally said, "Just... hold me." Whereupon he burst into tears. Honest to goodness sobbing.
Naora felt completely helpless. There was a problem in front of her, and she couldn't do anything to fix it. She couldn't even figure out what caused the problem. She couldn't move as this whole situation was alien to her. This isn't how she handled things. However, when he reached for her, she finally snapped out of it and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as he seemed to consumed with sadness. He said nothing as he buried his face in her shoulder. All she could think to do was slowly stroke his hair, "What's wrong? Why are you sad?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
You can tell Naora has not seen Toshi for some time. She describes Toshi as someone in control of his emotions when he has beeen having public breakdowns every chapter for who knows how long.
It is amazing how many men describe their wives and girlfriends as angelic.
Thanks for the chapter! Not sure how the whole angel-god-war-thing will affect Toshi going onwards, but I really like that he has to deal with his emotional other self and the chaos it causes with the (potential) love interests.
Thanks for the chapter, this story has some of the most well written characters I've ever read.
Thanks. Sorry it feels a bit... off. I let the story get away from me and realized I was getting WAY off the main plot. To get back on track, I needed to have things happen in a certain order. I prefer to write "And So" not "And Then". The difference is, 'And So' means one thing happened because of the other. 'And Then' means something new happened that technically isn't related to anything else.
For the most part, what I've done the past dozen chapters feels "and then" to me, when it really is "And So", but because I wasted too much time on sub plots, I haven't gotten a chance to show you 'and so'. The math is there, but I skipped over part of it. I do 'skip over' parts, but the boring parts. The parts you can figure out on your own. If I go, A,B,C,D then go to F, I have no doubt you can figure out E. You know E. Nothing special happens at E.
In order to get things back on track, I went A,B,C, then I. There's no easy way to put D,E,F,G,H in there. It won't hurt the plot much to leave it out, but it also makes some people go, 'Hey. Wait a minute'. Alas, I can't afford to spend an extra 15 chapters on D,E,F,G,H. I've already wandered off into the weeds for far too long.
Gonna be honest, usually I finish a story first so I can catch mistakes like this. This writing it in sequence and releasing it twice a week thing is new to me. It isn't my usual writing style Which is good. It's pushing me as a writer. Writing this series has shown me exactly how lazy I've gotten and how formulaic I am. For examples, Given I'm pushing 400,000 words written between the three books I'm writing, I still have not gotten better at descriptions.
In my head, everything I'm writing is a Manga. I see it all as a manga. Like, if you picture these stories as manga, you will see it exactly how I see it. Manga has a set number of faces. A set number of expressions. Manga comics are very simple, when you break it down.
Which isn't a bad thing. I think it works very well for the story archtype. The way the eye patterns change to indicate certain moods or internal thought processes. The size of the eyes to indicate maturity and so many other fine minute details that are lost to most people who read it casually.
Which leads to the problem that I write this with that in mind. I wish I could draw. I wish I didn't have the nerve damage that made my hand shake the more I try to use it. I used to be quite the artist, and now I can't draw a straight line to save my life. This story would be so much better if I could do what ErfWorld did, which was a combination of comics and then story section, then comic artwork. I think the true vision could come across that way.
Not... a big fan of where the author took the story, but I think he started off very strong. I can admire the art, even if I don't like the message.
Sorry to ramble.
I appreciate the words of encouragement. If only a handful of people enjoy the story, that's good enough for me. As much as I'd love to be the next Steven King, JRR Tolkien, or Larry Niven, I'm not. However, that's never been the point. The point has been to tell the story, and hopefully in a way that someone else enjoys. I never believed in the "wider audience". You pick your lane and you stick to it.
The truth is, I had most of this planned out around chapter 15 of book 1. This is where the story has been going. It's just... well... I feel like I cut corners these past 20 odd chapters. If I was going to rewrite, I would have stuck to more character and world development and moved the three dates to book 3. I'm glad you think the characters are developed well.
I feel like I'm doing them a huge disservice.
But that's because I put too much in this book. Certain narrative arcs MUST happen in chronological order, and so at this point, things are going to feel like a bit of a rollercoaster. I committed to these plot arcs, so, by hell or high water, they will come to a conclusion, even if them all happening at the same time is going to be a goddamn mess.
Well, I guess life is like that, sometimes, isn't it? Not everything is orderly and logical. Sometimes it all just comes crashing down at once. Although, as much as It makes me feel... uncomfortable? not sure if that is the word, but lets run with that.
The truth is, As I write this, and I keep track of what is happening all at once, I honestly surprise myself. Like, I honestly can say I don't know how this will turn out. I'm certain Toshi will be alive at the end of the book, but, beyond that, I honestly am unsure how it will turn out. I don't know if Toshi will "win". I'm not shooting for an empire strikes back, but honestly, I am not sure how this will resolve.
It's like processing a whole lot of equations. I just got to work them out, one at a time, and see how the math works out. I've already had to throw out the 'ending' I had. Twice.
So, it's kinda neat. I really want to see where this ends up.
I hope you do to.
@TheEldritchGod I like your story. You help fill an extremely rare niche, which might not seem glorious, but it makes you a hero to that yearning minority, including me.