"I DON'T KNOW!"

 

 

 

"Well you had better figure it out! This isn't a joke!" Terauchi Hotaru, Naora's mother was on the phone, yelling at her daughter, "Do you have any idea how screwed we both are if you fuck this up? You need to figure out how to start selling those drugs and making a profit or we're both going to be dead!"

 

"I got it mom! You don't have to get on my case! I have it figured out!" Naora yelled into her phone and stabbed the cancel button.

 

This was a lie.

 

Naora had no idea how she was going to pull this off. This had started over a year ago. She had time to set things up, to pick a school, the whole nine yards. She arranged to get held back year by picking fights and in general screwing off. The rules of the contest were they had until they graduated. It's not her fault that Gen wasn't smart enough to abuse the rules.

 

It didn't change the fact that Naora was a lousy drug dealer.

 

She planned on dragging her feet, trying to find some way to get out of this. She had made several attempts to sell drugs. Some of the far more recreational drugs that didn't gather much attention, those were easy to sell. She didn't see any harm in pain killers or stimulants. Those were drugs that people needed to get by in life and getting a prescription could be difficult. She didn't even see that as drug dealing. She was providing a service.

 

The problem was they drug that her family wanted to push was the newest date rape drug on the market. Those were the sales that mattered. It was the market they had cornered and the market they controlled. There was a wide open market for Vihypnol. Hell, she was tempted to use it, if her few attempts at sex had not ended so poorly. So she was selling the regular drugs and using the profits to buy Vihypnol and flush it down the drain. The drug's very concept was so distasteful she couldn't stomach the idea that any was getting on the market at all.

 

She had only made one sale of Vihypnol. It was by accident, really. Someone had become a regular customer of her supply of methelphendate and oxycodone. They had a friend who wanted to buy. She had put Kagi in charge of new customers and the new customer was... creepy.

 

There was something wrong about her. Something off. Her hair was greasy, her skin was oily, her completion spotted with acne scars and black heads. This was an unpleasant... no... this was an UGLY woman in her thirties. Not just in appearance, but in spirit. You could feel she had an ugly soul. The woman asked if they had any Vihypnol to sell. Naora had given Kagi the last amount they 'purchased' to dispose of in the usual manner. Kagi, seeing a way of making a profit, stated that yes, she had quite a bit.

 

The woman bought all they had.

 

Naora was pissed, but she blamed herself. She didn't make it clear and Kagi was just trying to help out. Two months later the woman showed up again to buy more. Naora met her that time and quickly determined that something was just WRONG with her. You could tell just by standing in her presence. It was as if the woman didn't have a soul. It was as if she was some sort of psychic vampire. She just drained you of energy by her presence.

 

Naora gave the woman the nickname, Croaker.

 

Croaker had an insidious laugh. High pitched and creepy as all Hell. The sort of cackle you would expect from a witch who was boiling children to make soup. Naora claimed that they didn't have any more in stock. She'd call her when she got more. Naora had no intention of getting more.

 

That was two weeks before the conversation she had with her mother about sales. She was walking inside, flipping through her messages when Midori sent her a text with a link.

 

 

 

WE MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM

 

 

Naora clicked on the link. It was a video of a woman who had been caught using a drone to spy on young girls in a public bath. Naora didn't understand why this was a problem, until the video continued. It explained that the woman caught then turned in the other perverts she was associated with. Three other women were arrested for kidnapping, assault, and multiple counts of rape. The article had head shots of the arrested women. One stood out by the way the flaking along her hair line and the raw red, exposed skin.

 

It was obviously Croaker.

 

As Naora read on, it became increasingly apparent just how sick and twisted that this fucked up woman was. Searching deeper into the mess, she caught snippets and bits and pieces of the story. The rape dungeon the four had constructed. The way they tortured the boys they kidnapped. The number of victims must have been incalculable as it appeared this had been going on for years. Naora pushed the images out of her mind and immediately shifted to damage control. She contacted Midori to give her a very specific order:

 

Shut It All Down.

 

No more sales. No more nothing. Until the heat died down, none of them could do anything that would attract the police's attention. Yes, this would make it much harder to make a profit, but it was far better than being caught up in this mess. If that woman confessed where she got her drugs, they would be coming for Naora. This was ugly as hell. Selling some pain killers and stimulants is one thing. Being connected to this unholy mess could shatter the 'cultured mobster' reputation she had been trying so hard to cultivate.

 

After handling the specifics, she went back into the school, but with every step grew darker. It felt like there was truck parked on her chest. It felt like the world was on her shoulders. It felt like a massive sword held up by a single, fraying thread was hanging over her head. As the walls closed in, she knew she had to get away. Suddenly she bolted up the stairs. She knew the combination to the lock. She burst out onto the roof, forgetting to lock it behind her. She staggered away to slump down against a low wall.

 

She pulled her knees in tight as the horror of what she helped cause consumed her. She ranted. She accused. She bargained with a God she didn't believe in. She spat out insults as she tried to keep herself from completely collapsing into herself. She fought to keep from crying. She wasn't to blame. It wasn't her fault. You can only be as good as the world allows you to be.

 

The world would never allow her to be good.

 

Then there was a loud 'BOING', like the sound of someone giving a metal rod a good sound whack.

 

Naora was on her feet, running to grab the intruder. She grabbed the boy and spun him around.

 

It was Toshi.

 

She expected many things. She expected him to be afraid. She expected him to make fun of her.

 

 

 

She did not expect him to ask, "You Okay?"

 

 

 ---

 

 

The memory of their first meeting on this very spot washed over Naora as she held Toshi in her arms. She wanted someone to hold her back then. She wanted someone to stroke her hair and tell her everything was okay. She wanted someone to care, and he did, but she couldn't trust him. She pushed him away, yet he never gave up on her.

 

~You can only be as good as the world allows you to be.~

 

She had said this so many times to herself it might as well be her mantra. As true as this statement was, there was an aspect that escaped her. How hard one tries to be as good as you can be. Whatever happened, what ever pushed Toshi to the point where he was here, crying in her arms, it didn't matter. He was in pain because he tried to be a good person and that's how people get hurt. He wouldn't hurt right now, if he didn't care, if he wasn't good.

 

She held him tighter as she realized that half the reason she wanted him in her life was to bask in that reflected goodness. The many conversations they had after making love. The way he kept trying to think of ways for her to break free of her family. He wanted to save her.

 

She wanted to drag him down into the darkness.

 

She kept holding him until he finally finished crying, "I'm sorry." He snuffled as he wiped the snot from her shoulder.

 

Naora just smiled and shook her head, "For coming to me in pain?" He looked up and said nothing. She wiped away his tears, "You know, women are drawn to a man's tears on an instinctual level, but I think there's a very practical part of it."

 

"Oh?" Toshi rubbed his face as he tried to compose himself.

 

"Yup. If a man doesn't cry, how will the woman who loves him know he needs help?"

 

Toshi blinked, then looked out over the low wall and across the city. He swallowed to compose himself, "Everything is so crazy, and I can't explain without... I can't. Not yet. I'm not even sure what's going on and on top of it, I'm..." He thumped his chest over his heart, "I'm remembering more. I'm... feeling." He looked back at her, "I hate it."

 

She laughed softly, "Yer a boy, silly." She booped his nose, "Having a million different conflicting feelings? That's normal."

 

Toshi blinked and rubbed the tip of his nose where she touched him, "I'm-"

 

Midori cleared her throat.

 

The two looked up at Midori, who had joined then on the roof. She was avoiding looking at them as she spoke, "You two have been gone a while and are beginning to be missed. If they find you two up here, especially with him looking like..." She gestured to Toshi's puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, "THAT... there will be questions that I don't think either of you want answered."

 

Toshi straightened up, "Shit." He rubbed his face with his sleeve, "I need to get to the nurse's office." He paused for a heartbeat before briefly kissing Naora on the lips, "I love you." Then jumped up and ran off.

 

Naora silently watched him leave. As soon as he was through the doorway and heading downstairs, she stood up and gave Midori an order, "Cancel it."

 

Midori looked confused as she looked at Naora, "Huh?"

 

Naora looked back at Midori, "That little plan we came up with for getting him kicked out of his home. Cancel it."

 

Midori blinked, "Wait-What? Are you worried about-"

 

Naora cut Midori off with a glare, "I not worried about if it will work, or if he will figure it out or not." She turned to look where Toshi had just fled, "Even if he never figures it out, he will still cry." She took a deep breath and let it out with a shudder, "And I just realized no matter the outcome, if I make him cry, I won't be able to live with myself." She started to fish out her phone.

 

Midori put her hand over Naora's, "Hold it. You need to get back to class. NOW." She let go and hooked a thumb at herself, "I'll take care of it."

 

Naora hesitated for a moment, then nodded once and headed down. Midori lagged behind, making a phone call as she approached the exit, "Yeah. It's Midori. About the project Naora called you about..." She paused with her hand on the door handle, "Yeah, that one." Midori stood there with the door half open, contemplating her next course of action.

 

Slowly she closed door and lowered her voice to a near whisper.

 

 

 

 

 

"Things have changed."