"Daisy?" 

Everything was so bleak now that the clouds were gone. The world was grey. I didn't feel happy, or relaxed, or satisfied anymore, even though now I knew that those emotions was false. 

"Daisy..." 

Without the love potion in my veins, I could now feel all the random little aches and pains all over my body from constant torture before sex with Riddle. I could feel the nausea spinning in my stomach, and the hopeless emptiness in my head as I tried not to think about all that that monster had done to me. 

"Daisy? Please... say something." 

I opened my eyes. I was laying on the ground from where I had collapsed after Fred Disapparated from Floppy's manor. Fred was crouched beside me, his chocolate brown eyes watching me in tender concern. My heart fluttered for real this time, but I shoved it down and ignored it. 

"Freddie... I'm... I'm pregnant." I whispered. 

Fred's eyebrows furrowed. He looked as if he already knew this piece of information. There was silence for a long moment, then Fred cleared his throat, sliding his arms under me, and he stood up, lifting me bridal style. 

"We're going to Dumbledore, then." He said, his voice shaking ever so slightly. 

The Gryffindor common room, where we had landed, was surprisingly empty. I didn't even question how we were able to Apparate here, but I guessed it was something to do with my desperation to get out of the manor and my glowing white hands in response, possibly helping Fred break past the barriers of the anti-Apparition wards. I saw the reason why the common room was empty when Fred carried me down through the castle, me clinging onto him as if my life depended on it; everyone was eating dinner in the Great Hall. 

"Er - hmm." Fred said, faltering as he neared the doors and heard the loud chatter coming from behind them. "As much as you like attention, I don't think you really want to have all eyes on you right now, do you?" 

I shook my head, shrinking back into his chest. Fred bit his lip and glanced around, looking lost, when Snape emerged from the stairs to the dungeon, heading towards the Great Hall. His eyes wandered the Entrance Hall and found us, and he stopped dead in his tracks. 

"Miss Potter. I am... glad to see you return to us." Snape said slowly. "Both of you stay here, Weasley, I will fetch the Headmaster." 

I let out a breath as Snape disappeared into the Hall. 

"Well, that's solved our problem." Fred said, his voice light. 

We waited outside the Great Hall for no more than a minute before Dumbledore came striding out, Professor McGonagall and Hagrid right behind him, arguing with him as he told them to stay in the Hall, but they didn't listen. 

"Daisy." Dumbledore said, swooping down on us and putting his hands on Fred's shoulders, bending over me and looking into my eyes. "We need to get you up to the hospital wing immediately." 

And so five minutes later, I lay in a hospital bed, propped up on some pillows with Fred by my side, holding my hand. Sirius entered the room after the Order had been contacted to rescue the others from the manor, and after hugging me in a death-grip for a minute, he sat on my other side, gripping my other hand as Madam Pomfrey held a goblet of potion to my lips. 

I looked down at it warily. I didn't open my mouth. 

"Daze, it's okay." Fred whispered. "You're safe now. It's just an anti-fetus potion." 

Sirius gripped my hand tighter, staring at me with an anguished look on his face. 

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. I drank the potion, closing my eyes as I felt a slow, faint twisting in my stomach, then wincing as a sharp pain shot through me. 

"It's okay." Fred said softly, sliding an arm around me gently as I curled into him, tears slipping out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. "It's okay, baby, I got you." 

I saw Sirius glance at Fred with a knowing look, and he nodded slightly at him. 

~~~ 

"Daisy! Please open the door, we just want to know if you're alright. Please!" 

I got up from my bed and staggered across to the dormitory door, unlocking it and pulling it open. I stood there in my pyjamas at five o'clock, middle of the day, several days after I'd been rescued. Fred, George, Terry, Harry, and Kylie were crowding around the doorway, peering in at me. 

I spun on my heel and shuffled back over to my bed, collapsing back onto it and drawing my knees up to my chest. My friends all filed in, Kylie sitting in the chair beside my bed, Harry and Fred sitting down on either side of me, each slinging an arm around me, and Terry and George sat at the foot of the bed, smiling cautiously at me. 

"Softpaw..." Terry said gently. 

"We just want to know if you're alright." George said tentatively. 

I sighed, then took in another deep breath. My bottom lip wobbled. Then I burst into tears. The boys and Kylie immediately looked alarmed, then Fred and Harry closed in on me, hugging me tight. 

Terry leaned forward and traced my left calf gently, swiping his thumb over it as he stared down at my foot, which was resting in his lap. His eyes suddenly filled with tears, too. 

"Your feet... are so small..." Terry sniffled. "You... you didn't deserve this - this horror." 

George hooked his leg around mine as I leaned my head on Harry's shoulder. Fred's hand curled around my waist, but not in the sexual way he usually did; in a comforting, loving way. 

I let the tears stream down my face as I told them everything that had happened since I left the common room that fateful day, right up until my abortion in the hospital wing. At several points, everyone gasped, winced, or looked like they were about to be sick. And when I finished, there was a stunned silence. 

"I want him dead." Harry said at last. "I want him fucking dead." 

"Don't we all, Harry." George said. 

"I feel so gross." I said in a tiny voice. "I willingly had sex with him. I enjoyed it, even. It's so gross how I liked it so much... I can't stop thinking about how wrong it was that I LIKED it..." 

"It wasn't your fault, Daze." Fred said firmly, pulling me in closer to him. "You were under a love potion, drugged - you were forced to enjoy it. You didn't know what was happening. You believed you loved the guy, for fuck sake." 

"And, I mean, it wasn't exactly 'willing,' was it?" Terry said darkly. 

"Even so, I can still remember everything clearly." I said. "And I don't want to." 

Everyone looked down into their laps. I did the same, staring at my hands. Riddle fucked me every day, multiple times a day... and I could remember every bit of it. 

"Cynthia Malfoy was rescued and taken in by the Order." Kylie spoke up. "She's switched sides. Bit of a change of heart, due to seeing first-hand what Voldemort did to you, Daze." 

"So she's okay?" I said, a wave of relief washing over me. "Good. She always tried to get me to break out of the love potion. Sometimes I was almost able to..." 

"That's due to your natural ability to resist, Softpaw!" Terry said excitedly. "Remember in fourth year, when Not-Mad-Eye tried to teach us how to resist the Imperius Curse? You and Harry were the only ones who could." 

I shook my head. "I was never able to fully break out of it. I was only able to escape because I threw up Riddle's extra potent batch. I wasn't strong enough." 

Terry leaned forward. "Not true. Once you'd gotten used to the other potions, you were able to resist them. Even though Voldemort's was the strongest you'd had, you'd eventually have been able to resist it, too. You've shown that by being able to break out of the double doses they gave you after you broke out of the first one." 

"And the fact they had to double you up and Voldemort had to make it himself shows how strong you are, Daze." Harry said. "A basic love potion which would have overpowered any normal person, wasn't strong enough to overpower YOU." 

I paused, looking around at them all. It was like a huge weight was being lifted off my chest with each thing I talked with them about, though my head was still hurting. 

"He - he made me suck him off, basically every day." I stammered. "W-why would he do that, if his aim was to impregnate me? Isn't that a bit counterproductive?" 

Both Fred's and Harry's jaws clenched. George shuddered. 

"Who knows, Softpaw? He's a psychopath. He clearly just did it for his own sexual satisfaction." Terry said through gritted teeth. 

"And - and he made me torture people." I said. "With the Cruciatus Curse. Am I a monster...?" 

"You were under a love potion, Daze!" Kylie said, throwing up her hands. "You would have done ANYTHING he said. No, it most definitely does not make you a monster." 

"Yeah, just be glad he didn't make you kill someone." George said, wincing. 

"And..." I muttered. "And does anyone know how... to forget about... things that you don't want to remember...?" 

"I mean, there's Obliviate, but I don't want to do it on you incase I do it wrong." Fred said, squeezing my waist. "Otherwise, if I was an expert, you know I'd take away every single painful memory you have..." 

I gazed into his eyes. They were warm and inviting and gentle... Godric, I loved him so much. But just in a friend way... just in a friend way... 

George gestured for Harry, Terry, and Kylie to follow him out of the room after sending Fred a knowing look, Harry questioning him all the way out the door. Once they'd left, Fred turned to me. 

"I'd do anything for you, Daze..." 

I gazed up at him. "Then make me forget." 

And Fred's lips enveloped mine as we sank back into the pillows... 

~~~ 

The next week was spent with a drastic change to the previous one. Previously I'd been moping in mine and the twins' dorm all day and night, in the same pyjamas, under the covers of my bed, refusing to go to class or wash my hair. Now, I was fresh and clean, but I wasn't going to class. Instead, I was using my angel brothers to take me to various nightclubs across the world, wherever it was night, where I used my wand to sneak in and order drinks. 

I'd get absolutely wasted and spend the day dancing, grinding up against any available stranger. I'd always check every single one of my drinks before ingesting them, but once they'd passed the sniff test and I'd deduced that there was no Amortentia in them, I'd gulp them down. 

I'd return back to Hogwarts drunk and giggling, where I'd pass around my stock of Firewhisky and drink some more. None of the Gryffindors were any fun, all my friends trying to take the alcohol away from me or trying to get me to 'talk' to them. Pfft. I don't need to talk. I just need to drink. Because then I'd forget about Riddle. 

Instead, I'd sneak down to the Slytherins' dungeons, getting wasted with Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. Zabini seemed to hold his drink well, watching me with intrigued, darkened eyes as I giggled with Nott, Nott chuckling and placing his hand on my thigh. 

When I had to return to my dorm, or when I didn't feel like going out, I'd resort to other methods of forgetting. I'd hold my wand to myself and say, "Crucio!" and while it worked due to my self-hatred, meaning I meant it, it only shocked me for a second before I was in too much pain to hold the curse. So I used it to shock myself when I wasn't using the Blood Quills that I'd sourced from a Ravenclaw who'd stolen some from Umbridge last year. I drew wiggly lines on parchment with them, hissing as the same lines appeared on the back of my hand. 

And when I saw Connie Brooke hitting on Fred in the common room once, I stormed over, grabbing her by the arm, and I pulled her forcefully into the girls' bathrooms. 

"Stop fucking flirting with him." I told her dangerously, my cheeks flushed. 

"Woah, Daisy -" 

Connie was looking at me, flushed, too. She licked her lips, eyes dropping to mine, before coming back up to meet mine again. 

And another method of forgetting Riddle was fucking, as I discovered that time. Within minutes I had Connie pinned up against a bathroom stall, moaning with my mouth on hers and my fingers inside her. 

"Why don't you just get together with Fred?" Connie panted as I came down from my second high. "Everyone can see you love him." 

The words were out of me before I could stop them. "I don't want him to get hurt." 

Connie cocked her head at me. Same, girl. Even I didn't fully know what I meant by that. 

The last method of forgetting Riddle presented itself to me as I sat in the Slytherin common room one night, sandwiched in between Zabini and Nott, both of whom's hands were on my thighs. I'd just spotted Greg Spieler swapping a small, mysterious package with Galleons with a younger Slytherin boy, looking discreetly around before disappearing into the staircase up to the boys' dorms. 

I excused myself, following him at a stride. I leapt up the staircase, bursting into the repeaters Slytherin boys' dorm, making Spieler jump and spin around. 

"What do you want, Potter?" He snapped at me, his hand diving into his pocket for his wand. 

"I want some of what you're selling." I said bluntly. 

Spieler looked hesitantly at me, then relaxed. He must have seen the desperation and hopelessness in my eyes. A small smirk unfurled on his face. 

"Okay. That's twenty Galleons." 

"Um, shit. I don't have any money on me right now." I said, remembering that all my money was in my Gringott's account, and there was no way to get there right now. "Is it okay if I pay you later?" 

"I mean, there are other ways you could pay me." Spieler stepped towards me, his eyes dropping below my face. He licked his lips. 

I knew what he was after, and my heart sank. But I was desperate. I would've done anything at this point. I just wanted to feel like I used to with the pink clouds, with the exception of falling in love with my mortal enemy. I unbuttoned my school shirt slowly, my hands trembling, and let it slip off my shoulders. Spieler's eyes locked onto my chest, his eyes darkening, and I choked back a sob as I sank to my knees in front of him. 

You'll take his drugs, and you'll forget all about Riddle, I told myself. You'll forget all about Riddle and the way he slammed his dick into you and forced you to like it. You'll forget about his dick inside you and his fluids trickling down your thighs... you'll forget about being pregnant with his baby... you'll forget... 

It'll be worth it, I told myself as I leaned forward, watching Spieler unbuckle his belt in front of my face. It'll all be worth it... right?