By the time Gara was able to secure her visitation rights, the image Tanner had made for Andrea had shattered completely. Andrea was fortunate to rarely gain weight in her face; instead, her body usually reflected it all. This time, however, she had a double chin, and she was desperate to find Tanner. Andrea, now the biggest she'd ever been, was so shocked by her own reflection that she left Reed's home, opting to stay in a rented room. She couldn't go back. Reed wouldn't marry her like this, and living untattooed was no longer an option. At all costs.

The first visit was impossible for Andrea to secure, so Gara went to see the E's on her own. With the intention of requesting a visit to see Tanner, Andrea walked through the opened door of Met's office. This was her first time there, and she found the empty all-white room to be somewhat unsettling.

As Andrea entered Red spat out a bite of muffin which Met caught. Red sat back against the edge of Met's desk and made a face. "My dear Colony, I hope that's not what Gara brought them to eat."

After reaching into his pocket to pluck out a handkerchief, Met put the morsel in it and wiped his hand. "Try not to mention that part. And whatever you do, keep it under your hat that Midge and Tan asked to have the meeting cut short."

Red folded her arms with a miserable frown. "I find it interesting that you are telling me to keep secrets when you won't even tell me what Gara was arrested for. Do you ever plan to tell me? I didn't have much luck when I tried to find out, and now this. Midge and Tan. The two of them in jail...." She glanced to him out of the corner of her eye. "Queen and Tan, yeah, I can see that. But Midge? Midge is the good twin."

"Please don't start. This is difficult for everyone, and I'm not sure how Gara's going to take it."

If the loud bawling from the hallway was any indication, she hadn't taken it well.

Gara wailed, "Met. Met!" Andrea saw the smaller woman coming and reached out to hold her back. Gara nearly flopped onto the floor face-first as her struggles to be free of Andrea's grip made her slip. "They didn't give us the proper amount of time. It was just fifteen minutes! They said next time it'd just be five. Why?"

One look into her devastated eyes and Met turned to Red for guidance. "All right. I can't handle this. Due to my job, I have a knack for just tuning out crying people. This is your department."

Red took a deep breath as she stood to her full height. "I told them to give you less time." When Gara's jaw dropped, Red set her lips in a thin line. "You're starting to slip on your training. It distracts you. Your withdrawal and recovery alone took a huge chunk of time. If you can't reach the end point of the course, then you're wasting my time. We don't all have the luxury of putting up with your brooding attitude. If you want more time, you'll have to work for it."

She lied. For whatever reason, she had lied, and that nagged Andrea to no limit. Why would she lie?

Still frozen, no doubt feeling as if the world were literally giving way under her feet, Gara clenched her fists as the tears swelled in her eyes again.

"You bitch-imp. You absolute gaw-ro bitch!"

Red watched her with a heavy heart. "I'm sorry, Ms. Garran, but I don't need the pity party. Getting you off the drugs took a lot of resources already. If you want more time, then start acting like a functioning human being again."

Before Gara could go for Red's throat, Met stepped between them. "I'll talk to her. But the best thing for you to do right now is to live your life. Forget about the E's; just...just live a little for a while. The months will pass by faster that way."

Gara looked from Met's gentle expression to Red's cold one, and she finally let out a sob as she turned to rush out.

"Go hang yourselves, the lot of you."

Met sighed after she was gone. "And there she goes." He looked back to Red, genuinely surprised. "Why did you tell her it was your decision?"

Red relaxed her body and sat on his desk once more. "Hate is a good motivator. I figured it'd be easier than telling her that Midge wanted the visits to stop entirely. I had to beg him, and I mean beg him, to consider five minutes."

"Once a month?" Met asked.

"Every two weeks. When I saw Tan, he wasn't looking so hot. For Midge, just having the Assist around will help, even if it's just five minutes."

"I guess." Met focused on Andrea and took note of her for the first time. "Andrea. Didn't expect to see you here. How's your music teacher friend...boyfriend, whatever?"

Andrea colored and swallowed her response. She took a deep breath and said, "Are you Tanner's father?" Andrea glanced beyond him to Red, who had raised an eyebrow. "And I'm guessing you're his mom. Because you guys look like you control the E's, but...you don't control them. Sometimes I think that they control you."

The couple in question traded a glance, but they said nothing.

"That's what I thought. I couldn't figure out why you two kept turning up like two bad sidekicks in an old play. Everywhere I see these E's, I see one of you." With a soft sigh, Andrea shook her head. "Does Garran know? Although, with how she just talked to you, I doubt that she does."

Met was done with the pleasantries because he turned cold. "Is there something that you wanted?"

"Time," Andrea said. "It doesn't matter what the E's want. As their spouses—"

"Don't even say that word," Met warned.

"Fine. As their keepers—because that's what we are, right?—we keep them from losing control and breaking the Colony to pieces." Met didn't seem impressed with this knowledge, but Andrea kept going. "I'm asking you to follow the law. I want time with Tanner, and by the Colony, Gara wants time with Midge—"

"But the feeling isn't reciprocated. You know how that is. One gives and gives; the other takes and takes."

Knowing full well it was a dig at her, Andrea shrugged it off. "If you want to hash this out in litigation, then that's where it's going. I've got the money, and we both know," she said, extending her arms and indicating her own larger body, "I've got the interest." She focused on Red, finally. "And what you said about Garran, that's not fair. She's going to blaze up. There's no way she'll calm down now."

Red eased off the desk to make her way out. She sighed and said, "I have less self-centered people to train. Good day, Andrea."

"You owe me a favor," Andrea called. When Red paused in her stride, Andrea said, "And I'm collecting now."

***

Andrea was able to join Gara on the second meeting. It had been difficult to endure the rancid stench once they'd passed the huge gates and entered. Cerberus was eerie for many reasons; it seemed alive but dead all at once. There were no rooms, just cave after cave that they traveled through. Voices echoed—screams echoed—but it was hard to say where any of it was coming from. Even though it was just a visit, walking into the belly of Cerberus had Andrea breaking out into sweat. She could see now where the prison got its nickname; everything about it made her feel like this was as close to hell as she'd ever get.

Despite all that, it wasn't surprising for her to see Gara eager to enter it. That little woman pixie's declarations of love weren't empty. Andrea had no doubt the woman would join Midge in here if she could. Because while Andrea's feet felt heavy with dread as she walked, Gara nearly overtook the elderly guard who led the way. Andrea felt small in Gara's presence because of it. Once they reached the final cave to see the two E's sitting with their backs against the wall, Andrea stopped dead in her tracks.

Tanner looked awful. In fact, she needed a minute to even confirm that it was Tanner. Midge was recognizable, at least, thanks to his blue hair, but Tanner was a different story. Unlike before, now he had a long mane of black hair that reached past his shoulders. He looked gaunt, though, so much so that his brown eyes were quite prominent. If that was how he looked after one month, Andrea wasn't sure she could stomach seeing what was left at month six.

In the center of the cave, there was a basket identical to the one Gara carried now, and Andrea assumed the smaller woman left it two weeks prior. When Gara saw the old one empty, she smiled. She then put the new basket down and rummaged through it. Once she took out a small silver cube and pressed it, she put it on the ground. It was a timer, and Andrea tried to think of what she herself could accomplish in fifteen minutes. She didn't have the chance to find out however, because once Gara started unpacking, the smaller woman also began talking rapidly nonstop.

"I'm sorry; I still can't get the shape of these muffins right. I tried and I tried. I made like sixty of them. They taste better, but the shape, I'm real sorry about the shape," Gara went on. "And we only get fifteen minutes now because that Red, you know, she lowered the time, which I thought was really petty of her, and I told her so." Gara looked up from her task to see Midge still watching her. "Right to her face. I told her so, and I meant it." With a soft sigh, she slowed in her pace and sat on the ground rather than crouch. "But then I...I got to thinking that maybe I didn't have any rights in demanding her to give me more time." Gara rubbed her brow. "And I shouldn't have called her a bitch, but she accepted my apology."

Gara didn't see Midge's eyes widen in surprise and anger, but Andrea did.

"She said it was okay. But it's not; I don't feel right about it. So I baked her a cake. And...." Gara held up a poorly knitted scarf from the basket. "I made her one of these. She taught me, said I was a natural. I have a lot of time now, between the training and stuff, so here's one for you and one for Tan."

Tanner had gotten some color back in his face, and although Midge only stared at Gara with absolute hate, Tanner took the scarves. Andrea was in awe at how unperceptive the woman pixie was. Gara's eyes narrowed when Midge wouldn't look at her. Before she could ask Midge about it directly, the meeting was over, and she began to tear up as she got to her feet, taking the older basket with her.

"I'll...I'll see you in two weeks, then, right?" Gara waited for Midge to look at her, but when the E refused to glance her way, Gara walked away, fighting to hold back her tears. "I'll see you."

That was how Gara's short visits stopped. When the smaller woman heard from Red that she wouldn't be allowed back, she hadn't reacted much, only nodded and promised to continue on her Assist training.

Andrea did feel a slight bit of guilt for not passing on the information that Red was Tanner and Midge's mother. Both Red and Met appeared to be in their early thirties, and Andrea was sure Gara wouldn't figure it out on her own.

With Gara out of the way, Andrea visited two weeks later, determined to walk home a better woman, a slimmer woman.

Unlike Gara, who had brought a basket teeming with gifts and food, Andrea brought nothing. She followed the path to find Tanner standing in front of the basket that had probably sat right there for the two weeks they were gone. Midge wasn't there either, a fact that made Andrea thankful because it would be easier without another person.

Although Gara's visits had been limited to fifteen minutes, Andrea still had an approved hour. She hoped she wouldn't have to stay that long.

Her E didn't sit; he stood, ready for a fight of some kind, and Andrea sighed.

"Are we gonna just stare at each other the entire time? 'Cause I'll tell ya, I've got one hour, and I plan to use it."

"No." Tanner's voice held no malice. "What is it you want? I know it's not to chitchat."

Andrea turned to him, a considerable portion of her body jiggling. "Isn't it obvious?"

Tanner nodded. "Yes, but there's not much I can do in here. My link to you was severed over a year ago. I just left the residue to linger so you could keep the image up."

With a stern frown, Andrea said, "Cut the shit. Queen said that when I was back to normal again, that's when I'd know you broke the connection, and that happened a month ago."

"That you'd know I broke the connection." Tanner nodded. "But I actually broke it when you left, hence the normal weight gain."

"Fine." Andrea didn't see any point in trying to sweet-talk. "Then make it again."

"That's impossible to do."

"Impshit."

"No. Not even slightly." Tanner looked up to his own long black hair which hung before his eyes. "I have power now. A physical connection like before would be fatal without a tattoo."

Andrea didn't like putting her hands on her hips—she considered the imagery unpleasant—but she found herself doing just that.

"Listen, I'm not leaving you alone until—"

"Until what?" Tanner eased off the wall. "Until you somehow force me to agree to a tattoo? Something I'll never do. Or until you somehow force me to have sex with you again?" His eyebrows rose as he scanned Andrea's expansive body. He sucked his teeth and said, "Which is not ever going to happen."

Their gazes locked, they stared each other down.

"Please." Andrea finally begged, though Tanner seemed unmoved. "Please. Just please help me."

"How is it that you asked me once if I were human?" Tanner said. "Your friend took the life of another person. The man she loves is rotting in here, and all you care about is having a trimmer waistline."

"Don't you judge me." Andrea's voice quivered. "It came easy for you. This is all I've got. So you don't get to judge me."

"Easy?" Tanner asked. "It's always gotta be easy for somebody, right? It can't come hard." He shook his head and looked her in the eye again. "Even you're easy."

Andrea felt cut in two. Tanner had never spoken to her so gruffly.

"Your family did you a disservice, Andrea. Especially your grandfather." The E must have noticed that he'd struck a nerve because he paused. Though Tanner sounded cautious, he was also unrelenting. "What was he thinking when he'd let you take every easy route, hide from everything slightly unpleasant? He let you live in your own fantasy world where nothing in life should be hard and whatever's hard isn't worth doing. To what end? So you'd grow up uneducated and afraid?"

Andrea waited a moment for feeling to return to her body but she felt cold. She didn't even care that Tanner's voice cracked when he spoke next.

"You left me. You left, and I let you. I decided to be done with you. No taking back what happened, no do-overs, no restarts. We are done. You want to be trim and lean?" Tanner mused. "Then figure out that you are powerful. Do what you accused me of not letting you do. Stand on your own damn feet and learn to do it all by yourself."

I've come with a knife. That's what Andrea had practiced to say. She'd gotten an authentic one, too, just for show. She'd come across this oddly shaped dagger with a triangular blade. Even the name of it made her sick, but she'd come with it to make a final threat if needed. So when Andrea looked down at her own right hand and saw that she'd rammed the knife into Tanner's belly, she gagged. For a brief moment she thought to drop it, and then she thought about why she'd stabbed the man in the first place.

Grandfather. She hadn't said anything when her mother disrespected Grandfather's memory; she hadn't done anything when that servant dropped the man's picture. Nothing, absolutely nothing. Again and again, she'd done nothing for the only person in this world who ever saw her as special. And to have anyone, even an E, disrespect the man's memory, was too much now.

Her hands shook, but it wasn't from her own shock. When she finally looked up from the dagger and to Tanner's face to see the brown eyes wide, the E's shaking became more violent. Andrea felt even sorrier when Tanner struggled to touch his own body, desperate to pinpoint the blade's entry. He had no success because a moment later his hands dangled as if he were paralyzed from the neck down.

The surge of electricity that raced through the E resonated back to the very knife that had caused it. Andrea met Tanner's brown eyes and saw the fear, the absolute fear, and it took her only a moment to realize that she could see herself reflected in those eyes. She was scowling, and she felt cold as Tanner regarded her as if she were evil. Maybe she was.

"You listen to me, you so-called fountain of perfection," Andrea growled. "I've paid my dues. I've gone through shit, and now it's my turn to be happy. You're going to give me your name, you're going to give me your word, and you're going to give me a new image, or so help me, I'll rip your gaw-ro head off."

Breathing heavily from the pain and panic, Tanner strained to move, but his eyes watered when the effort was in vain.

"I can't," Tanner sobbed.

When Andrea twisted the dagger, she knew Tanner felt it. Somehow the blade was expanding, and when Andrea noticed it, she wanted to let go but was afraid the knife might actually enter the man deeper on its own. Tanner's body vibrated, slowly at first and then harder as tears streamed down his face. He made no sound.

There was no turning back now, Andrea knew. If she let Tanner go, it would all have been for nothing. Stabbing someone—putting a piece of metal in someone for nothing but a desperate need, would have been for nothing. If she was going to throw all her values away, she had to get something out of it.

"What's your name?"

***

Tanner managed to swallow with some effort. He closed his eyes, but the pain drew him back to reality.

"What's your gaw-ro name!"

To say that Tanner was in obvious pain would be an understatement. He was strong and had always looked larger than life until now, but within a matter of seconds he cried out. The E wailed. He howled. Andrea felt sick to her stomach at how fast Tanner started to scream in agony. In between the screams were words.

Long black hair rising up, Tanner finally whispered the last of his name. Andrea gladly withdrew the dagger and let Tanner sag to the ground, sobbing and gasping for air.

Andrea's hands started to shake, but she couldn't lose her nerve now. She'd come too far.

"E, sit up." She expected resistance, but Tanner knelt, sitting back on his heels as he hung his head. "I want some answers."

Tanner fought to calm himself, though he had little success. His body shuddered with each breath he took.

"Why did you choose me?" Andrea asked. "What business do you have with me? Because I thought we just 'happened' on each other, but the more I think about it, I had one year to think about it, and that's impshit. So why did you come for me?"

"You're my Assist, my mate. Your soul is compatible with mine. You're the only person I can physically touch without pain because we linked years ago." Tanner sunk lower. "Your family captured me when I was twelve; they took my youth from me. Thirty years. In the blink of an eye, I lost thirty years. When the years came back, I decided to come looking for my power. Mating with you healed me. That's why I needed you; that's why I pursued you. I needed you for power."

Andrea had had her suspicions, but she'd never thought the admission would hurt quite as much as it did. She decided to focus on the business at hand. "Can you put the image back up?"

"Yes." Tanner bowed his head, using the floor to support his elbows. "But it'd weaken me. I won't be able to keep it for long."

"Is there another way that will last?" The faint nod brought relief to Andrea, but not for long. "Then how?"

"We'd have to mate, but that's impossible now."

A hush fell over them and Andrea's pride faltered in the face of embarrassment.

"Why?"

She was glad she couldn't see Tanner's eyes because she feared witnessing the disgust firsthand.

"It's not easy to sleep with an E. I have to be interested."

The way he said it was innocuous enough, and it should have been more than obvious that it was impossible now, but Andrea was hurt nonetheless. "So why did you sleep with me the first time?"

Still shivering from his upset, Tanner exhaled. "It wasn't my arousal. It was yours. I fed off the emotion. You got aroused with me in the hall, and I reacted to you. So I allowed it to happen again in order for us to mate."

Andrea gritted her teeth, her own upset threatening to make her heart burst. "Why?"

"I needed to mate with you. I didn't have any other chance at power. It was all taking too long, and I grew impatient."

It took time for Andrea to calm, but the fact that she was in control was enough for her.

"So I did disgust you—"

"No," Tanner said, his voice steady. "No. You never did." When his eyes were visible from the curtain of black hair, they were anguished. "Not even once. You thrilled me. That's why I hesitated to be with you after that. I couldn't...I couldn't allow myself to be with you."

Andrea shivered with rage, and she gritted her teeth, more than willing to hear whatever half-assed excuse might have been in store.

"And why's that?"

"You took my breath away. That real side of you, I cherished it." Tanner looked at the ground as he hunched over. "I had no reason to be with you after the first orgasm; it was enough. I could have run, but...you, the trusting side of you—that was something beyond my imagination. You were just addictive; I've never craved anything like that. But if I kept it up, it would have only been a matter of time before you'd graze my thoughts and learn the truth. And you deserved better than what I did to you. Your body was so different from mine. It was so soft, and supple, and you..." Tanner whispered, "You were beautiful. Living together, the rare instances when you'd let me in, I wanted nothing more than to have those moments again and again."

The tears had stopped, and after he calmed, he opened his bloodshot brown eyes to regard Andrea with sadness.

"You were beautiful then. I never felt anything but euphoria with you. Even now, up till the very second that you stabbed me, I'd hoped you'd want me back. You were beautiful. And you think it's your body, and it's not. If you were this size one year ago, I would not have cared. I was never disgusted with you then, but now...." His voice softened; the reality of things saddened him. "The level of disgust I have for you now, Andrea, is something that can't be charted in this realm of reality. The level of utter raw revulsion—there's nothing known to man that's been invented yet that can measure it."

Andrea gazed at him, not at all fazed by the words. "You'll have to do better than that. You do realize that I've spent my life being everybody's punching bag. I knew you didn't choose me because of me. No one ever would. No one ever stayed unless I had something to offer them, and when I realized what it was you wanted from me, I realized you're the same as everybody else. Taking whatever you want, shaping my life like it was never mine."

Tanner didn't return her gaze.

"Yes. But what are you? Who are you?" Tanner asked, looking to her for guidance, finally. "You're just like your grandfather. You're a monster, too."