“Were you calling my name?”

Horror, mortified, he covers his nakedness. Doesn't he know that makes him even more tempting?

“NO! Sharon... this is not what it looks like...”

"You were thinking about me, weren't you?”

He tries to hide, to avoid my eyes. It's useless to cover up, useless to lie, to run away. He knows it, and it overwhelms him to know it.

“Don't cry, don't cry, come here”

“Sharon?”

He approaches me with teary eyes, his heated face towards me. He doesn't come out of the water yet, he doesn't dare. Does he think that's going to cover him? I grab my robe with my fingertips at my hips. David's eyes don't know where to go. I can guide them.

“Would you like to see?”

I see an even bigger surprise than just now, one I've never seen on his handsome face, bigger than any other. Confused, red, does he think he's misheard? He looks at my hands, looks at my face. I smile at him.

I lift up my robe.

It's as if for a moment he forgets his shame and, in his mind, there is only me. No temple, no guilt, no shame. Only me. I am the temple. His breathing quickens. His eyes fixed on one place. I got you, you're mine.

But I cover myself again.

“No... no...” A desperate voice.

He crawls out of the water, crawls like one who doesn’t know how to walk, propels himself with his hands so he can stand, but his thin legs seem to have trouble staying upright. But he does it. With effort he does it and stands in front of me. He takes my robe in his hands. He looks into my eyes, with those beautiful eyes of his, as if asking for permission. I respond with a smile. He lifts my robe.

And he touches.

With one hand he holds my robe, with the other he touches.

He touches my back and below.

Touch my belly and below.

He touches, gently, he touches.

 It's hot. So hot. This is no time for robes, no time for bras, no time for panties. He touches my thighs.

He stops lifting my robe, his hands still under it. He slides my underwear down my legs, leaves them at my knees. He lifts my robe once more, but before he reveals my nudity, I stop him with my hands.

He despairs. He looks at me, kisses my cheeks, as if he wants to buy me. If I'm careless, he's going to succeed. For every kiss he sighs, moans, and says my name softly. He does it on purpose, doesn't he? He knows his power, his effect on me.

I can see his excitement; I can feel it. I keep playing with him, let him lift my robe to a certain point before I stop him. We start again between his kisses, higher and higher, closer and closer to revealing everything. Until finally my hands don't stop him anymore, I let him lift it as far as he wants. Now he can see.

His breathing stops, this is what he's been fighting for. His hands tremble, I feel he's going to faint. But in his eyes, there is heat, that heat that attacks me too, desire. His body won't stop until it's satiated.

Neither will my body.

He begins to touch the skin that had been hidden before.

I touch too, I touch his chest, I touch his belly, and the more I do it, the more he despairs, the more he falls. I touch lower, I touch where he touches me.

And I touch his lips with mine at last. This is what defeats him; he falls to his knees before me. I have won. From the corner of his mouth falls his drool. I bend down and clean it with my tongue.

This seems to drive him mad. He rushes to embrace me, breathes agitated, wants to drag me with him, and if he succeeds it's because I wanted it that way.

We are on the floor, he removes my robe in desperation, I remove my bra. He puts his head between my breasts. He begins to kiss them, his eyes open. He looks at them and then at my face.  He licks. I stroke his head as he does so. I guide him. I tell him how to proceed. We are like two animals on the ground, having surrendered to our instincts. I feel on my leg his...

“Please turn around,” His voice is no more than a sigh. It's hard for him to speak. He begs me, kisses harder.

How can I refuse such a sweet voice, such a desperate request?

Face down, my legs stretched out. In front of me there is only forest. How beautiful it is. I look over my shoulder and see him. He is here, his gaze is here and nowhere else. It is on my body, on my waist and below. And he's in trance.

“My big sis...” his lips barely open, his eyes narrowed, he struggles to keep his sanity. He remembers to breathe suddenly.

“Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?”

I feel hotter and hotter, more and more heat. If it seemed unbearable before, now it's like falling in the Sun.

"Ever since...”—he says— “since we started living together, since this short year we have lived together, since our parents introduced us. Ever since".

Fever, like a voice of fever, is barely audible. He trembles, not with fear, with anticipation.

He puts his hands on my hips, caresses my back, my legs, everything. No... you're not going to beat me. I feel his breath near my lower back. He kisses my naked body.

“When I would wake you up in the morning, when you didn't want to get up for school. I would see you. I'd see you on your stomach, just like you are now, uncovered in your pajamas” More kisses. More sighs. More heat.

You're not going to beat me.

“Ever since then. Ever since then you never stopped appearing naked in my dreams.”

Insolent. I get up, push him to the ground. He tries to speak, but I silence him with my lips, with my tongue. I'm on top of him. His back on the floor, me his captor.

“You're going to do as I say.”

He nods, I can see his excitement, his longing.

I am the one who controls everything. We caress our bodies together. I hear his breathing. I feel his heart, how it beats, so strong, so alive. I catch his inspiration. He needs to escape from my mouth to catch his breath, but he doesn't want to leave it, he can't leave it.

We caress our bodies, even harder, more intense, I can feel it, I want to feel it.

We connect. A brush first, then like a fleeting kiss. He goes crazy, lifts his hips, he wants it all. He's mine and he doesn't know it. Again, like a kiss, a brush, this time a little more.

“Sharon... Sharon, please,” I see his teary eyes. It's hard for me too, it's so hard... I can't take it anymore. I give him everything, all of me, and he gives me all of him, abruptly, without warning.

He lets out his voice, it's too much for him. Too much. I see in his face, his eyes widen, he stifles a scream.

“Your voice, let me hear it, don't deprive me of it.”

He's ashamed, but he lets it be free.

There is no pain, on the contrary. I know, he' s never felt this pleasure, I know it very well. Not even when he imagined me naked, when he touched himself, I can bet. I've never felt this either. He moans more and more, it's almost like a scream.

With that voice, with that voice he attacks me, still surrendered he attacks me, unknowingly he attacks me.

“Sharon... like that... like that...”

He looks at me, he tells me these things. Insolent, he does it on purpose. Keep going. Keep going.

He pants, he looks at me, but the pleasure makes him lose himself. He doesn't want to look away from me, but it's hard for him to keep his eyes in this world.

I help with my hand. I help myself, and his voice penetrates me, more and more.

My name! He says my name. He keeps saying it. His words become more and more like a babble, an animal sigh. I can't take it anymore.

He sighs my name and I can't take it anymore, I explode. I'm on fire along with this forest. Water can't extinguish us.

And my passion is too much for him and he catches fire too. He lets out his voice one more time, one last time, a long moan, his eyes gone, his mouth open. So sensual, so mine.

His voice fills me.

 

***

 

Where is this place?So far away from the temple, from the city, from the wind, she laughs.

“No, no...”

Where is this place where God cannot see us? I know she is smiling.

“David! David, get up.”

“Sharon?”

Side by side, stunned we find our faces. His still-lost eyes begin to regain their sanity.

And we wake up.  We are aware of our nakedness, of our shame.

I clean myself. I reach into the waters and clean my filth, but it never seems to come out of me.

“This... This is not a dream...”

“...”

We have to get dressed, we have to do it in a hurry, as if we were being chased by the...

“No... No! Sharon, what did I do?! What did I do, Sharon?!”

"Stop! Stop it! Don't say any more, get dressed."

David cries. His tears run down his red cheeks. It's not his usual innocent blush. No!... I've never seen him like this, so agitated, so sad.

“No, don't cry. Don't cry, please, just get dressed." Although I reach out my hand to touch him, I don't dare. I push it away. I can't touch him, not anymore.

We take our underwear, our robes, we cover ourselves, we hide.

“Sharon, don't be quiet. Talk to me, please,” I can barely understand him, he tries to wipe his tears with his hands, to hold his eyes, but fails.

“David, wipe your tears. We have to go. We have to go to the temple.”

“Don't leave me, Sharon.”

“Enough.”

“Please, don't leave me! Don't leave me!”

I'm leaving. I'm escaping. If this is a dream, somebody wake me up.

 

***

 

The sky is the same way I left it, maybe the sun is farther away from the women's building.

I don't even think, I pry through the window through which I left. No sisters pass through my mind, no headmistress, none of my colleagues. I appear. There are still girls sleeping. The only one awake is Raquel, sitting on her bed, playing with her hair. She touches it, presses it between her fingers, caresses it. She immediately notices my presence, my entrance.

“What happened to you?” She gets up from her bed, concern on her face.

“Your hair is very pretty, Raquel.”

Silence. How long does it last? A few seconds, a minute?

“Are you all right?” Her face like a cute little sheep.

She's a very pretty girl.

Stop it.

“I went to look for my brother”.

Raquel searches and searches. I can see her. What are the words she finds?

“Did you... find him?” Her voice trembles.

“Why don't you look at my eyes when you talk to me?” are the words I find.

Raquel just sits, her face looks to the side. She can't find the words she's looking for. She can't say anything to me.

Such cruelty. Why?

“Shut up!” I take my head in my hands. She laughs at me, laughs at my misery, at how pathetic I am.

My voice frightens her. Raquel finally looks at me, even if only for a second, even if it's with fear. A couple more girls are awakened by my voice. I take advantage of the confusion of their wakefulness. I hide in my bed, under the covers.

Hours pass, inert, I don't eat. Night comes, sleep does not.

For the first time I don't pray before sleeping.

 How can I?

God bless this silence that hits me like a thousand stones.

God bless this silence that allows me to hear the soft cry of a blonde girl in the next bed.

God bless that cry that feeds mine and punishes my feverish soiled body.

The dreams come. They are nightmares.