I regain consciousness. I am me again.

I grab the robe I left lying, rolled up on the floor. I cover myself quickly. I have failed again.

I hurry to leave, who knows where. I don't even know which is the right way.

David steps in front of me, stands in the way of my intended escape route. He reproaches me with his eyes, but this time I can't reply with irritation.

“I'm not going to run away this time,” I lie.

David only responds by grabbing my hips and kissing my mouth. It's so sudden that I can't manage to close my eyes.

Our lips part and...

“...”

“...”

We both want to die.

“Oh? Are you really going to tell me you're embarrassed now? It's a little late for that, my little friends,” Ismael reproaches us.

“This is different,” I answer, all red. David on the other hand doesn't even want to show us his face, he hides it from our perspectives.

“Of course, there was a lot more tongue in the kisses we just had, and not all of them were limited to the mouth.”

Uh, why put it that way?

“Can't I get one too?” Ismael finally says, looking away, playing with his hair a little.

Although there is some malice in his words... I can't help but think that sincerity lies behind every joke.

I turn to him, give him a little kiss, a peck, followed by a hug. He deserves it. David does the same. Now Ismael is also a little red, but he seems more cheerful.

A strange feeling comes over me. Ismael's momentary joy disperses it a little.

I mustn't stay here much longer.

“We have to go, or they'll kill us,” I say.

“You mean because of the headmistress? She’s scary, but she' s not that bad."

I know we're in a hurry, but I can't help asking.

“Did you know her from before, my good friend?” It's David who beats me to it.

“Are you ready to hear a rant?”

We nod.

“My mother lived in this shit— er, in this crappy little town for a while. The houses are cheap. She didn't talk to anybody except the nun. That's how my fight started. That sums up my life. Back and forth between temples. When we finally moved to the city, I thought I was free, but I made the mistake of coming back for this pseudo-camp. I guess human beings are creatures of habit, as they say. Big mistake, they have us to clean up rather than teach us anything, I'm sure.”

I hate to say it, but he's got a point there.

“But now I understand everything,” he declares.

Again, that feeling comes over me. It's...

We set off, leaving our little paradise.

“Speaking of which,” Ismael starts again as we make our way. We are walking at a faster pace than simply strolling, but slower than running.

“Something very strange happened yesterday,”—he continues— “I was talking to the girl at the pharmacy—ah, because I ran away—she's a really cool girl. And then the headmistress came for me.”

“They really know each other. I'm sure they do, and they had a fight or something. I swear I never saw the nun make a face other than that chronic ass face she has, but this time I swear I saw real emotion.”

“Oh, I wonder if she's been to the convent too,” —David says— “They must have quarreled there, over a matter of faith, I dare say, although that's a big conclusion for so little information,” he jokes in a sing-song tone. He always makes up these kinds of stories. But...

“Hey, it could be, my friend, I saw that she had a little rainbow flag inside the pharmacy, I don't think you're that far off from the truth. Maybe she's a sister who got fed up with the Church. Anyway, to fight with the nun I don't think you need so many reasons, with that shitty attitude of hers.”

I'm not saying anything. But yes, considering she knows her name, it's most likely. And yes, it doesn't take much to pick a fight with the headmistress, if you can handle it afterwards.

“What happened when they met, was there blood?” I ask, half-jokingly, half seriously.

“Nah, they looked at each other and didn't say anything. I didn't even get a scolding from the woman. It was all very awkward. I remember that I said goodbye to the pharmacist and left with the headmistress. She barely answered me with a «take care». Ah, speaking of villains...”

Almost arriving at the temple, before leaving the trees, we see the headmistress at the door of the church. She waits for anyone who has escaped.

Before I can even think of anything Ismael comes out of the hiding spot into the vision of the headmistress, just like that. She approaches him, seems to scold him, he just ducks his head and they head inside. Before entering the door, Ismael steps back and gives us a quick thumbs up, unseen by the nun.

Thanks, you saved me from having to kick another car.

David and I say our quick goodbyes and we both split up, sneaking back into our respective buildings.

I find a Raquel still in her bed.

Now that everything is calmer and the adrenaline is finally dissipating, that sensation comes again. It's a feeling. It's... defeat.

«I don't want to be cured. Now I understand everything» The words echo in my head.

Am I someone's undoing?

“I know you're awake,” I say, interrupting my thoughts.

“Huh, really?” Raquel replies.

“Not really, you fell for it.”

“You can't be beaten, can you? I was really sleeping, but you wake me up every time you come in through the window” —she lifts her torso on the bed— “Every time you go out too.”

All right then. What should I say and what should I leave hidden?

“You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to.”

Sometimes I think she can read minds.

“You know what I've been thinking,” —she continues the conversation— “about what you told me. Why not look you in the eye”.

She finally looks at me. This time without fear, but with a little blush.

Such beautiful eyes.

Cease.

“I didn't mean to...”

“Don't worry. I needed to be told like that, to tell you the truth. In that harsh way. It helps to get you out of the place where you're comfortable. If it hadn't been you, it would have been the headmistress maybe. And I'm afraid to look at her, to be honest.”

“You said there was no anger in her face.”

“Exactly, only sadness. That doesn't mean it's not scary all the same.”

“I can't figure it out.”

“Hm” —she thinks— “, you can look people in the face, know what they think. That helps you get an idea of what they say without them saying anything. Many times, it's more assumptions than anything else and you can be more than wrong.”

I'm surprised by her eloquence; it really is like talking to a different person. Her words are quite fast, but clear. She forgets to breathe sometimes.

“But...” I urge her to continue.

“But” —she does so, smile on her face, raising a finger— “, when someone is not very good at speaking, they have to learn to communicate what they can't say, with and without words, right? What's the best way to learn? By watching others, even imitating, looking at their rituals, habits, tics. Some people find it natural to talk to others, I had to learn from them by observing in order to make those things my own. That's when you can realize many things. It's specially true for those who have that come out of their own being not to realize how much their face, their body, their mannerisms give them away.”

Raquel gets up suddenly, an action that scares me a little, she sits down next to me on my bed, very close. She looks me in the eyes, energetic.

Ah, I can see. It's hard for her, huh. It's really hard for her, but she doesn't want to take her eyes off my gaze. Not even to blink.

“All my life, my eighteen years, watching. It's not that I read minds, but at least I can detect that something is wrong, or something is hidden. That's the impression I get from the headmistress. I could be totally wrong, of course, but it's fun to think about.”

I ponder for a moment, Raquel with her gaze fixed on me and that pretty smile.

“A moving speech,” I say.

She averts her gaze for a second, but returns it to me.

“I'm sorry. It happens to me sometimes, I start talking and I don't stop, I don't...”

“Hey, I don't mean to make fun of you, I like to hear you talk like that.”

Raquel relaxes her shoulders. Her face seems to light up, very animated. But then she gets a little more serious. That contrast is a little scary.

“But it doesn't take any special gift or power to know that something is wrong with you, or something is weighing on you, really,” says the light-haired girl.

“Am I that easy to read?”

“Like an open book.”

“Uh...”

The girl sighs.

“I was just worried that something bad happened to you. You looked so sad the first time you came through the window. Just now too, though your sadness was different this time. It was more like... defeat.”

Ah, spot on.

But before we can go on, I see at the other end of the room pass by from the dining room the headmistress. Is she done with Ismael so soon?

“Hey, you, what do you think you're doing?” Voice with authority.

I feel like the world is going to end.

Does she know? Does she know something? If she did find out, then...

“You two keep your faces away from each other, it looks like you're going to kiss” at last, she says.

Huh? Was that it?

Fucking bitch.

Holy mother! Really, this voice... it's a good thing I'm the only one who hears her. It manages to scare me, though. Raquel and the headmistress notice my reaction, they see discomfort on my face.

Take advantage of it.

I hate you. But...

“What are you accusing us of, Miss?” Tears in my eyes, voice broken by wailing and sobbing. The tears are real, but they're from the fright of the voice. A truth inside a lie, mixed in a mixture where the ingredients cannot be distinguished.

Raquel at my side tries to comfort me... this lying thing I'm too good at. A couple more tears feed the theater of the pure guilt of deceiving her.

And I can see the headmistress's face.

Good...

...

“No! I didn't mean— I just…”

It's the first time I hear her raise her voice, and more importantly, lose authority. A little strange pleasure tickles my back.

Ah, I can see.

She comes towards me and pats my head. A couple of girls who were in their beds are already wide awake with that scream she gave. I watch as heads peek out from the dining room as well, both sisters and peers of mine. The loud voice of the headmistress must be a strange sight.

Uh, maybe I'll start crying for real, but out of sheer embarrassment, more than anything. This extra attention to my work is certainly unexpected, though it lends a bit of verisimilitude to the situation.

When I calm down a bit the headmistress retreats to her office, leaving us alone.

“Good acting, you almost had me fooled for a moment.”

So, she saw through my lie. Raquel is pretty scary when she wants to be.

“I could see,” I reply.

“Hm” —Raquel begins— “, no mask can cover a face forever.”

The rest of the day goes by fast, talking about trifles with Raquel. Although I manage to tell her about the pharmacist. A rumor I heard from my brother, I tell her, although I doubt she believes that last part, or at least she suspects incomplete truths.

“Hm, what's up with that? Our headmistress is quite feisty,” the only comment she makes on the matter.

As it gets dark, at dinner I face a few stares from the other girls, wondering for sure what the heck was that with the headmistress today. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but it reminds me of what my classmates used to do.

Bedtime arrives. I can rest a little longer this time.