For our second quest, it's a tomb.
"i wanna find a woman already... arghhh."
rock just sneers at me.
"shut up, stupid rock. you dont requier woman"
we walk on down to a dead end. 'welp might as well leave because there is nothing here, and this isnst foreshadowing'
"no"
"Who si that?"
something comes out fo the wall, and is lumpy "i am the toad of this land's earth place and you ar eintruudciting on this place i hold dear."
'your just a toad.' i grab him.
"filthy masturbator, let go me of!"
'how did you know of my masturbatory habits?'
"youu stink of masturbationl."
i stare at toad "You're coming with me."
***
i place toad on woman's forehead in street. "does this woman masturboat?"
"yes"
She screams and runs awaya.
"okay, hopw about this knight?", i put it on the kngiht's forehead.
"YOU!", he yells. "you embarrased me right in front of my mother, wife, father, grandfather, and great grandmother all at the same time!:"
he pulls out his asowrd but i send him flying.
"i'm the isekai protagonissc.t and YOUR WEAK"
ihe hobbles himself up, and swings again.
i dodge, and i'm cool. "You can't defeat me, baaaka."
i send him striahgt intot the wall
"baaaaka."
we walk away and i ask question "what ar eyou, frog?"
"i am the earth place healer underground thingy dingy existence of somthineg."
rock chimes in. 'but i'-m cooler.'
"Your just a rokc, and im the gfrog toad underground beast machine existence."
'sure...' i mutter
we go to the guild, and cash in the quest for clearing the tomb.
"gibve me a nother one", i say
the GREEDY attendant slams a paper on the table. "you can't beat this one, right here."
"sure, I can. and you're greedy, so you'r wrong."
"No, this dragon drawn on the page is legendary, and massive. it's KILLS PEOPLE and DEATH SI SCARY"
I blizzard out oft the bujilding, and go to the location the pearper.
"this is the place."
it's is very creepy. Spider webs are creeppy, and hang from the roof, and pillars are cackling down.
"this place is freaky. A monster could pop out at any moment, so i gotta be carful."
"you could die, and I wouldn't care."
'agreed,' fgrog says.
"i'll have sex with both of your wives."
they both go silent.
"wait, how could you have sex with DIRT?", frog yells.
the roof shakes and pebbls fall.
"t's close," i mustterd. "the dragoun"
we walk out into an open room, with light peeking through the roof, onto a big DRAGOUN.
"I AM DRAGOUN SCALEY MASTER FIRE-BREATHER 3000, AND YOU HAVE ENCROACHED UPON MY TURF, PUNY MAN. YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN FINGERINOS TURN TO DUST WITH A SINGLE CRUNCH, AND YOUR SKULLS ARE VERY GOOD FOR CALCIUM."
"no calcium for you, buddy boy." I flick my katana out of my sheath, and grab itt. "your reign of calcium-feciency won't last."
"HAHAHA, YOUR SMALL, AND I"M BIG. WHAT DOES YOUR PUNY STATURE SHOW, EXCEPT YOUR PUNY PENIS?"
"it shows i'm not compositing for my penos with my stature."
"HOW DARE YE? MINE PENIS MAY BE BELOW AVERAGE, BUT MINE WEALTH IS ENORMOUS!", he swings his tail towards me, and I slice it off. "MINE BEHIND!! YE HATH ROYALLY FRICKED UP!"
He jumps off his perch, and slams into the ground. "HATH YE NO MORAL CODE?"
"You're too loud, dragon, you remind m of someone" I say, and run towards him. his head slices off and i land a landing perfectly.
we walk back to the guild, and the attendants DUMBFOUNDED
"Yeh, it was a piece of cakewalk."
He looks DUMBFOUNDED.
"Cheh, real easy if you aske me. Just a dumb dragon."
he looks DUMBFOUNDEDDF
"Heh, you wouldnt believe ho weasy it was."
we get our reward and walk out.
***
Seconf part of revenge requires peolpe to fight guards.
we walk around all town, but no one wants to fight guards. they all don't knowt he DARK SECRET of the isekai kindgagom so we go into alleyaways.
"Seems like you require a bit of a trickster," some guy says. "Just a teensy bit. A little bit of a troller. A bit of a crazy lad, ready to get crazy with it."
"yes", i say.
"thisg guy looks like apedophile," rock says.
i whisper in his ear,"he does but we had plenty of those where i came from. "
"what do you want in enchgage?", I ask
"A woman's touch."
i walk out of teha alley, and leave himm behind.
"whyd you leave?", frog asks.
I stair at him then contnuiue walking.
***
second part of revenge = WOMEN
i walk to the streets "GIVE ME WOMEN! MY MARAGEI NEESD AREN"T SATIATED"
Everyone looks away as they walk past
"GUYS, GIBVE ME A WOMAN!!!!" i grab onto a passerby
'bro,' he stares at me. "i know women."
we walk into an alleyway and down the dark alley. he opens a door, and we walk deep down the stairs inot to a larger rom filled with cages.
"welcome to the Voluntary Slave Coalition with consent, and safe words for when they may be feeling uncomfortable"
"LET ME IN", i shake the bars. the woman inside throws her dirty laundry at me.
"Don't look at me while im doing my laudny!!!", she yells.i
"they're are also mentally disabled forgot to nmention that. sorry man."
"no it's okay." i drool. 'I have experience communicating with the autistic.'

Catosc

Does he actually have experience communicating with the autistic? Find out next time on Wagon Balls Z!