(Narrator 1) - So, after the fuss at the guild when he show his status, the receptionist ask him:
GQ receptionist - So, do you want to update your system? The Gods released v5.24.6 yesterday, and it looks like you've been stuck at v1.2.1.
UM - Oh, of course.
GQ receptionist - Okay, all you need to do is to take this USB port and plug it (in a memish voice)*in yo ass*.
UM - Hokay...
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Yea... no, I'm not narrating this
(Taimu sukippu)
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(Narrator 2) - After his system finish updating, it looks like this
| Name: Anonymous Terror | Condition: Ever tried not growing? | Age: 18 | Level: 10 | Gender: Castrated |
| HP: Can I not? | MP: I'm lazy. | SP: Ah yes, the meaningless words | EXP: 23/600 | Race: Uhh... |
| STR: Yo, listen up here's a story | VIT: About a little guy that lives in a blue world | DEF: And all day and all night and everything he sees | AGI: Is just blue, like him inside and outside | DEX: Blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette |
| INT: And everything is blue for him and himself and everybody around | MAG: Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to | MEN: I'm blue da ba dee da ba dye, I will bleed I will die | WIS: If I were green I would die, I would beat up a guy | MCT (Magic Control): I believe I can fly, I will need apple pie, I could yeet up a guy |
| Skills: I'm blue Lvl.MAX, I'm a meme I'm a Mine Lvl.MAX, I'm a Geek I'm a Guy Lvl.MAX, I'm diseased I must die Lvl.MAX, I'm in need of a diet Lvl.MAX, I'm in need of a Diamond Lvl.MAX, I'm a Dream I can't die Lvl.MAX, I will pee on a guy Lvl.MAX, I'm Blew Lvl.MAX, Cobble E cobble why Lvl.MAX, Double E double I Lvl.MAX, I would meme up a guy Lvl.MAX, I would eat up a pie Lvl.MAX, I would heat up a mine Lvl.MAX, I would eat up a diamond Lvl.MAX, I'm a Y E E I'm an eye Lvl.MAX | ||||
...Ok...
So anyways, he takes a quest of subjugating some Humans, those pink little bastards like to kidnap and r*pe Goblin Queens, and they reproduce really fast.
AT (Anonymous Terror) - Alright, I think there's a Human settlement over there.
He runs there, and on the way he see a group of Humans walking in the forest, presumably scouting the area. He kills them in one slash of his hand and proceed to the settlement. There, he clap and the sound wave obliterate everything in a 10 miles radius. He picks up the remaining of the settlement and bring them back to the Goblin Kings village. But then, a voice call out
Voice - *Incomprehensible language*
He turns around and see a Human in white and golden armor holding a white and gold knife.
AT - What?
He's really annoyed and surprise at the same time.
A Human is...
holding a knife!
He had found many knives stuck in stones inside the forests, and they cut pretty well while also repel Humans. Apparently, they fear the knives.
Human - *More incomprehensible language*
AT - 'I mean, I got a little trauma with knives back when I castrated myself, but it's long gone!'1thought bubble
Anyways, he pull out a sword and slash the Human. Then he runs back to the village.
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=Hero's POV=
I was going on a quest to slay the evil Monstrosity that had appeared in the forest eighteen years ago. Before five years ago, it's not very active, but after that, there was a roar. The roar lasted three days and three nights. It provoked the monster in the forest to go on a rampage and almost flattened the beautiful Iawf0h village. I had quite a fight back then. Who knew there were 10 Goblin Kings in that rampage?!
After registering as an adventurer before the roar, I ranked up pretty fast and started exploring deeper in the forest. Sometimes, I even camped in there. For a while, people started calling me "The Hero", perhaps because of my attire, the one I inherited from Father, but I know how strong a True Hero is. Only one is needed to kill the Master Orc that was slaughtering my village...
The scene of bloodied corpses of my parents, neighbors, friends... I will never forgive those vile monsters!
I think as I cut down seven Orcs at the same time.
.
.
.
Today, it came.
The Monstrosity.
Everyone tells tales about how it looks like, some said it's a Dragon, some said it's a Demon, some even said it's a Fallen God, just for how strong of an aura it gave off. But no one expected it to look like a little Human girl.
The guards let their guards down.2Badum- Chang
They felt it coming, but looking at it, they were confused.
It used an Advanced Air Magic, presumably Cyclone, to wipe out the village in the blink of an eye.
I went through the same thing that happened ten years ago.
Houses, gone.
Shop stalls, gone.
Guild branch, gone.
Safety bunker, gone.
Everyone...
Hero - HEY! COME BACK HERE!
I shouted in rage.
It turns back, looking surprised for a moment.
Hero - I SHALL CUT YOU DOWN, FOR THE PEOPLE THAT YOU SLAUGHTERED, AND FOR THE PEOPLE YOU WILL IN THE FUTURE!!! HAAAA!!!
It pulled out a great sword from no where and slashed me. Only with that attack, everything gone black.
Hero - 'I'm sorry, everyone. I can't avenge you.'
God - Surprise motherf*cker.
Hero - H-Huh?
God - You died so soon... I was expecting more from you. Go train in another world for one life and come back here to show me what you can do.
Hero - Wai-
(SFX of someone isekai-ing)
Voice - Hey you, you're finally awake. You were trying to cross the world border? Walked right into that World Eater ambush, like us and that God over there.
God - Damn you Fenrirs. Crossing worlds was fine before you came along. The borders was nice and lazy. If they haven't been looking for you I could've bring you half way to Quanna.
(BEEEEEEP)
*Insert chapter ending here*
