Hey there, it's me, Madeleine. I've kissed a total of one corpse. I wish I were lying, but I cannot lie, for lies are bad. As for those times I've lied, those weren't lies, those were jokes. This one wasn't a joke, though, nor a lie. Oh, Julie. Anyways, with that off my chest again, time for the report. So long story short, it seems Merida and Myka have disappeared. But that doesn't matter, since I'm on a date with Mel!

"Hey Madeleine, can you let go of my arm?"

"Why? Embarrassed?"

"No, you're just heavy."

"Oh…" I let go of Mel's arm.

"Thanks. So when is she getting here?"

"Soon, soon. She's… uh… a bit peculiar."

"I figured. She knows you."

Where are we? Back in Hamblin. We had Speedy drop us off before she went on the search for Merida and Myka. The others are searching for them too. As for Mel and me, well, Mel isn't worried.

"It'll probably work out. If it doesn't, though, that'll be one hell of a twist, which would suck. I hate twists."

"I like twists. Especially if it's one of those rubbery things. I love twisting those."

"That wasn't the kind of twist I was talking about."

"I know." Why are we in Hamblin? Because Mel needs arrows and a new bow, I know just the gal who can provide for her. By the way, we're in one of the many sketchy alleyways found here in Hamblin. It's very comforting being back in this kind of environment. The town our mansion is near is a bit too crime-free for my tastes.

"You know, if this is any indication, I think you'd make for a terrible date."

"Eh? Why?"

"Buying weapons is not the kind of thing you'd do on a date, Hamblin isn't the kind of place you'd go to for a date, and you wouldn't wear a maid dress on a date."

"I think it's romantic."

"You think potato farms are romantic."

"Because they are."

"No, they're not."

"Okay, maybe they're not, but you're no better. You'd rather just stay home."

"I like my bed like I like my lovers, in the comfort of my home."

"And also under you and for your own use?"

"..." I guess she isn't going to react. We stood there in silence before eventually the weapon provider we were waiting for finally came.

"Hey, girl! You're, like, back to life, huh. I guess not even the Chaos Storm can stop ya."

"Christie! How's my favourite weapons gal doing?"

"Doing a-okay! Business is booming." She looked over my shoulder towards Mel. "I see you've brought someone along. Already moved on from the Queen?"

"Yeah."

"Girl, you were head over heels with that shitty tyrant. I'm glad that shizz is over." She walked over to Mel, made some weird noises and did a slight cough, "Sorry, I'm just warming up my business voice. Like, I can't be casual with a customer, you know?"

"Oh, that's understandable. I'd hate it if you spoke the way you do with Madeleine towards me."

Christie turned around to look at me. "Giiirl, did you finally get a name? Madeleine. That's, like, a really pretty name."

"Thanks, Mel gave it to me."

She faced Mel. "That's the cutest thing I've heard someone do for someone from Hamblin. You have my blessing, Mel. Snatch up Madeleine."

"Blessing? You think you're her mother?"

"Haha, what a wisecrack. I see why Madeleine got attached to you. She, like, likes a good back and forth. Now then, let me just switch my act up a little," Christie straightened her clothes and stretched out her hand to Mel. "Hello, my name is Christie Runnen, the owner of Hamblin's finest arms and the world's second greatest weaponsmith. Name any weapon with any specification to it, and I'll make it for you, all for the low low price of giving me your previous weapon."

Mel shook her hand. "I'm Mel, and I'm looking for a new bow, and Madeleine says you know a solution to arrows being limited."

"Hah! I sure can. If you were some random stranger, I'd only give you the bow, but since you know Madeleine, come right into my house. We can discuss some secrets." Christie grabbed out a knife and cut out a large rectangle into the air, creating a door. She opened it, gesturing towards us, "Ladies first."

I've always loved this part. I walked in to find myself in an unimaginably long hallway, with weapons lined up on the walls, all with varying levels of quality. Many were battered and used, covered in rust, scratches and dents, while others were nearly brand new, their shining metal showing the lack of usage. Every now and then, there would be a glass case with a weapon and a giant gold plaque telling its story. The nearest one was right next to me, on its plaque was its name. A hammer wielded by Ullrich the Destroyer called 'Destruction's Might'. 

"Welcome to the Wall of Weapons and my home."

"Wall of Weapons? Isn't that the museum in Bellum?"

"It is. Just know this is a secret section. I doubt the public would like to see the weapons of strangers without stories. No one but Madeleine, I, and now you, know of this place's existence. I should be able to tell you a secret here."

"Secret? Oh god, what have you gotten me into, Madeleine?"

"UNLIMITED POWER!!!"

"Did you seriously trust her with your secret?"

"Madeleine may be honest to a fault, but if she doesn't want a piece of information to escape her mind, it never will. So, you want a new bow and arrows, right?"

"Yeah, that's why we're here."

Christie snapped her finger, summoning a sleek, white bow and a singular arrow. "Here you go."

Mel took the bow, examining it. She touched it all over, pulled on its string, and put it over her shoulder. "Perfect, but why a single arrow?"

"This arrow has three enchantments on it. The first allows you to store arrows within this arrow and take them out. That should allow you to carry much more than you can. The second allows you to recall arrows you have fired. Do note the recalled arrows are automatically stored. The third allows you to create a singular arrow, but you may only create one each day."

"Wait… that's essentially infinite arrows. How'd you do that?"

"Sacred Power. Although I didn't know it was possible to do this infinite thing until Madeleine came around."

"I will shower the world with daggers!"

"Madeleine, put the seventeen daggers down. By the way, have you looked into Christie's eyes?"

"No. Why?"

"She's a Sacred Power holder."

"Oh, good thinking, Mel." I dashed in front of Christie before she could react, gazing deeply into her eyes.

Weaponsmith You can create weapons. Side Note: Mmm… metalwork.

Huh, that explains a lot. Reminds me of the Table guy. I wonder if Christie can make table weapons.

"So, why haven't you sold this everywhere? You would be rich."

"And be hunted down, no thanks. Now, don't go telling others about me, okay."

"Uh… or else?"

"I'll say objection at yours and Madeleine's wedding."

"That's not much of a threa- MADELEINE PUT THE GIANT AXE DOWN!!!"

"SHE'S GOING TO SAY OBJECTION!!!"

"I WAS, LIKE, JOKING, YOU KNOW!!!"

And so we had fun playing around with the weapons. Or maybe it was just me.

---

Character profile: Christie Runnen

Sacred power: Weaponsmith

Favourite weapon: So, like, I figured that since battleaxes are just axes with blades on both sides, would a waraxe be blades on the entire handle? Cause like, if a war is a bunch of battles, then a waraxe must have more blades than a battleaxe, so that's exactly what I created. I, like, realised you can't hold it, so I put one of those tele thingy enchu… encha… encha something on it so you can move it with your mind. It was, like, really cool. Also, my favourite weapon is a dagger. I don't need to, like, think to make those.

Description: The owner of the Wall of Weapons, and provider and collector of weapons, legendary and common alike. Christie is the younger sister of Satdrul Smithking, and looks up to him as an inspiration. They're both the children of a former Dwarven noble and a human peasant, who met when they applied to be adventurers at the same time. Although her ability was able to create any weapon she could imagine, Satdrul's proficiency with metal and deep knowledge of weapons was beyond Christie, which is why she only claims to be the second best weaponsmith, never the first. 

Chapter namesake: Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim